She Part Three
All former disclaimers apply as well as rating.
Why had he come back? I asked myself lying next to her the next night. Yeah her ex had come back from where ever the hell he was before. Now she was even more confused and angst ridden than she had been before. If she started with her anorexia crap again those two would suffer God help me.
"He's back," she sighs softly as the two of us pull the sheets up close to our noses. The lights are off by now though and I'm blessing allah or whomever's up there that's the case. If the lights were on she'd see right past everything and see my burning rage and desire ablaze.
"Yeah, are you really okay with that? I mean you have Peter and all," I almost wanted to ask her you have me and all, it would have been the best or worst Freudian slip of the century depending on how you looked at it.
"I know but I'm happy all the same. Is that strange? Peter's the best guy ever but-" her unspoken silence just about kills me. Her incomplete thought leaves me open to wanting to answer her with my own contradiction.
"He's not the one you want right?" I fish expertly for something that fills the gap. Something that doesn't give me away, I can feel her eyes drift off to the secret escape. My eyes drift to that point to. Its strange but that little portal represents to me something for a brief second more than what she thinks probably.
"I don't know Manny, I don't know what I want suddenly and it scares me. I mean you and Craig there's something strong," she looks up to Craig and me? What is she thinking? I'm drifting further and further from him and he's seeking solace from Ellie, the intelligent girl he left behind. Some how with her I never feel dumb. As smart as she is she never makes me feel stupid any more.
"Um, yeah Craig and I are perfect aren't we?" I guess my acting really has gotten better I almost fool myself at that line. Maybe I've become such a great actress because of her. Having to act like I don't love her is the best job I've ever taken on. It's also the hardest job.
"Yeah. Like the movies perfect. How do you two do it?" Damn, she wants advice? How can I tell her that I act it out now? I think of myself with Craig as a character in a movie, the sexy girlfriend.
"Hard work. We talk all the time, we spice things up in private," the lies just keep on coming through my teeth. The part of the content happy girlfriend is in full affect. Eat your hearts out Ebert and his compadre of the week.
"Does he make you feel just down right beautiful and appreciated?" Her question is strange I've never heard her ask this before. I just hope she's not considering the stupid diets and exercise routines again.
"Yeah its' alright to be just myself," I lie some more. The lies are all that come out to her when in truth I want to be truthful to her above anyone else. To her I want to bear my soul and existence to her I want to become one with. A big part of me is telling me I'm foolish for causing all this inner turmoil and angst. I mean the two of us have shared a bed now together for nearly a year now.
"Sometimes with Peter it's just that he feels that he has to buy me over you know? And that I have to buy his love and care in turn," she whispers. It's like she doesn't want to admit it that there's trouble in paradise with her and Peter. Damn, Emma, you know if I were with you I'd never make you feel like that. I want to shake her out of this funk she's feeling but by doing that I'd tell her more than she should and probably wants to know.
"Well um you shouldn't have to feel like that Emma, talk to him tell him this I'm sure he'll understand," wait what am I saying? As usual the good old best friend speech. Damn it to hell for being the best friend I think.
"Talking that's all that Sean and I ever did. Did it really solve anything?" She questions me as if I know the answer. Well I do know the answer but I don't want to say it out loud and acknowledge it. Yeah she and Sean actually solved things by talking them out. Why can't I just talk this out with her? Should I talk it out with her?
"But Sean's back in town Emma," I sigh to her getting slowly back the part of good best friend. The friend that pushes another friend towards what will truly make her happiest.
"He is but well I know we'll always have chemistry and we could be a good couple. Do I want us to be that couple again? I mean we were the 'perfect couple' that was such a pain in the ass," she is letting her fingers roam free on the sheets one of them accidentally brushes my own fingers and well I don't think I could hold it in much longer.
Suddenly my fingers are reaching out for hers as well. Begging for them to be in my own. Suddenly my body is trying to push itself against her form. Most alarming though suddenly my lips are pressed against her sweet tasting pair. I inhale her scent into my nostrils and they flare up in agreement with the smell.
"Manny-" she softly sighs into my mouth. Her lips are responding in the favorable fashion, giving me the go ahead to explore the rest of her. My hands begin to run themselves down her back bone and vertebrae.
Her soft pleasant moans are serenading me to do more and to set the pace. Everything's perfect and sweet. She's sweet.
"MANNY?" Someone calls to me harshly. Suddenly I snap out of it. A tear almost comes to my eyes as I realize the last few moments were just my imagination. I guess that's the only place were she and I can be happy together.
AN NOTES: As usual if you don't like the coupling don't care to comment. If you like the coupling congratulations! You have just explored something new and exciting, something definitely not Degrassi norm. I will continue depending on the events in future episodes and if I get inspiration. Adieu.