o(4)o
It took exactly four hours from the moment Connor was transferred out of Intensive Care, and into a normal room, for the MacManus brothers to charm every nurse on the floor.
With their devilish grins and lilting accents, Danae supposed it was easy enough to do. Carefully balancing two cups of coffee, a box of doughnuts and a dime-store chess set, she nudged the door open with her toe. She was surprised to find Connor awake and the cot that was set up for Murphy empty.
"'Mornin'." Connor said cheerfully "Come on in."
"You're up early," said Danae, handing him a cup of coffee and setting the doughnuts down.
"Aye." Connor took a drink from the cup and made a face "Christ, woman, you make some vile coffee."
"I didn't make it this time, I swear," She laughed, holding her hands up. "Hey, by the way, I have something for you." She handed him the plastic bag with 'Patient Effects' emblazoned on the front "I don't know how it ended up back in the MedRoom, but I'm pretty sure it's yours."
Grinning, Connor took the bag and opened it. Looking inside his smile quickly faded "It's mine."
"Are you okay?"
He nodded grimly, reaching inside the bag to produce a wallet and a rosary, identical to the one she had seen Murphy wear. Then he quickly closed the bag "Now take the rest o' this and throw it away. Get rid of it before Murph . . ."
"Before I what?" Murphy walked out of the bathroom, shaking the water from his hair, dressed in his usual torn jeans and, Danae tried not to notice, no shirt. He grinned at them both, "Is it yourself?"
"What?" She frowned, catching a glimpse of several scars as Murphy pulled a t-shirt over his head.
"He means good mornin'." Connor held up the rosary "Look what Danae found."
Murphy nodded approvingly "Very nice. Now, before I what?"
Connor tossed the sack to Danae, giving her a meaningful look, "Nothing, Murph. Never mind."
Murphy shrugged, dismissing the subject "How was yer night, Danae?" he said opening the box of doughnuts.
"Busy. I was running all night long, full moons are the worst, let me tell you."
"We missed ye." Said Connor.
Danae laughed, "I came by, but you both were fast asleep. I guess that explains why you're up so early today."
Murphy reached over and smacked Connor's hand away from the doughnut box, taking the pastry his brother was reaching for, grinning. "Nah, we're up early because Connor here has to play pincushion for the day."
"Why?"
"The good doctor wants to make sure I'm still on the mend." Connor said shoving at Murphy's shoulder "Give me that, ye fuck!"
"Ow." Laughing Murphy surrendered the doughnut, selecting another from the box. "So Connor gets to spend the day gettin' x-rayed and his blood drawn."
Danae grimaced. "Sounds like fun."
"At least the x-ray tech is cute." Connor said. "Ye think she'd give me her number?"
Murphy chuckled, "Ye'd probably have better luck with that git from the lab. I saw the way he was lookin' at ye yesterday mornin'."
Danae choked on a laugh and both brothers turned to look at her, eyebrows raised. "I know exactly who you're talking about!" she gasped through her laughter, "He was talking about you the other day, I didn't realize who he meant."
"Great." Connor rolled his eyes and took another drink of his coffee, grimacing. Danae shot him an amused look and he smiled at her "It gets better once you get used ta it, really."
"Don't let him lie to ye, luv, Yer coffee never gets better, trust me." Said Murphy.
Connor took a playful swat at his brother and in seconds, they were a tangle of limbs, laughing and calling each other names. Danae saw that for all his bravado, Murphy was being very careful not to hurt Connor's still-healing wounds. The sound of their laughter made her smile. It was good to see her guys, she had thought of them as her own for a while now, having a good time.
A knock on the door interrupted the scuffle and Danae stifled a giggle when the lab tech in question entered. "I think that's my cue to go."
"Danae!" Connor's voice was low, but it carried across the room. She turned and realized that she had left the bag with his belongings sitting on a chair. Quickly she picked it up, bid both Murphy and Connor goodbye and left.
Once in the hallway, she looked at the bag, feeling a guilty twinge of curiosity. Why didn't he want his things? Slowly she pulled the plastic sag open and the scent of blood assaulted her nose almost immediately. Inside were the clothes that Connor had been wearing the night Murphy brought him into the ER. They were covered in gore, torn and dirty. His black shirt had been cut off with scissors, but Danae could still see the bullet hole and the heavy ring of blood surrounding it.
She shuddered. God, no wonder he wanted this stuff gone.
With slightly trembling hands, she tossed it into the nearest trashcan and made her way out of the hospital.
o()o
Murphy was waiting for her that night when she got to work. He was hidden in the shadows by the employee entrance; the glowing orange of his cigarette was the only indicator of where he stood in the darkness.
"Murph?"
"He has ta go back ta surgery."
The pain in his voice made Danae's breath catch in her throat. "What? When?"
"Tomorrow morning. They found a piece o' bullet, or something, that they didn't see the first time. The doctor's afraid it'll move around and tear him up inside."
"Has it damaged anything yet?"
Murphy shook his head and lit another cigarette "They don't think so, fuck, but they don't know for sure." In the darkness, the orange glow wavered, and Danae knew that he was shaking.
"I'm so sorry, Murphy."
"I don't fuckin' get it," He said, voice rising, " When will it be enough? Hasn't he fuckin' been through enough? Will it ever fuckin' be enough?" All at once, he exploded into motion, slamming his fist into the unforgiving brick of the building. "Fuck!"
Danae grabbed his arm as he reared back for another blow. "Stop it!" she cried, "This doesn't help."
He rounded on her, shoving her roughly against the wall, his features drawn and taut. Her back connected jarringly against the stones, and she winced with the impact. "Tell me what will help." He shouted into her face. "You have all the fuckin' answers, tell me!"
Warmth gathered in Danae's eyes and spilled over. She stayed silent, afraid of his outburst, and afraid of provoking him further.
After an endless moment, the anger in his gaze shattered, leaving behind only grief and fear. He let go of her and stepped away. "Jesus Christ, Danae, I. . .I. . .fuck."
Drawing in a deep, shaking breath, she tried to compose herself. Her heart was thundering in her chest and there wasn't quite enough air. Deep breaths, she reminded herself, deep slow breaths. "I have to get to work." it was the only thing she could think of to say.
"Danae please. . ." Murphy began, but she held up a hand, cutting him off.
"No, Murphy," the words came easily this time and she was surprised at how steady her voice was. "I can't deal with this right now. I'll check on you both later."
o()o
All of her paperwork was long done, but despite her best efforts, Danae couldn't work up the nerve to go to the floor. All she could see was Murphy's face, pinched and white with fury. How could she face him after that?
A warm hand covered hers and she looked up into imploring blue eyes.
"My brother is an idiot." Connor said, leaning on his crutches and smiling at her.
Danae found herself wanting to return his smile, "I can't say I disagree right now." Remembering Murphy's words, she sobered. "Oh, Connor, I'm so sorry, I heard about the surgery."
"Not my idea of a good time, but better than a bit o' metal endin' up in my heart someday." He shrugged nonchalantly, "Just another scar ta add ta the collection."
"You really aren't worried?"
"A bit, but the way I figure, the worst is behind me now." he gave her hand a small pat, "Listen, Danae, Murph is practically beside hisself over what happened, he didn't mean to hurt ye."
Shaking her head, Danae sighed as the tension slowly left her body. "He just scared me more than anything. How's his hand?"
Connor laughed, pressing his palm into his side as he did, "In better shape than his arse after the reaming I gave him for treatin' ye like he did."
Laughter welled up inside of Danae, and she gave into it, enjoying the way it felt.
Connor's grin widened, "What d'ye say, take pity on my fool of a brother?"
"Let's go."
Connor pushed the door open and nodded for her to come in. Murphy was sitting on the far side of the room, looking out the window chewing on his thumb.
"Murph,"
As he turned in his seat, Danae could see the worry in Murphy's eyes. Why, he's terrified, she thought as he stood and walked to where she was standing. For a moment, they stared at each other; both unsure what to say, then Danae sighed heavily and shoved at his shoulder. They said honesty was the best policy.
"You're a jerk."
He sucked in his cheeks "Aye."
"Do it again and I'll beat you bloody with my clipboard."
"Agreed." Murphy smiled.
Danae grinned, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off of her chest. "There," she said, "Now that that's over and done with, what are we playing tonight?"
o()o
Morning came entirely too early for the three of them. They had stayed awake all night, playing cards and talking, determined to have a good time together. But as the sun rose, the mood had sobered.
Danae had slipped away at the end of her shift to change her clothes and 'freshen up', whatever that meant. Connor was in the shower, and Murphy was left alone with his thoughts, wondering if someone could actually suffocate in silence.
He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so nervous. Through all the jobs that they had accomplished and through all the dangers that they had faced, nothing seemed so significant as what Connor would undergo in a few short hours. The doctor had already been by to talk with them, but Murphy couldn't remember a single thing the man had said.
The day was dawning rainy and gray and Murphy could feel the tension building up in him like the thunderheads building in the sky; creating snakes in the pit of his stomach and an ache at the base of his skull. Fuck, it was not going to be a good day.
Connor emerged from the bathroom, half-dressed, toothbrush in his mouth, leaning on his crutches. He looked at Murphy with a raised eyebrow, tilting his head. The meaning was clear: Are you okay?
Murphy shrugged then nodded, avoiding his twin's eyes. Fine, I guess.
Hobbling over, Connor squeezed his brother's shoulder gently. I'm here.
Murphy reached up and took his brother's hand. There was so much he wanted to say; so much he wanted his twin to know in case something went wrong . . .He shivered, trying to dispel the thought. Nothing was going to go wrong. They had come too far for anything to go wrong.
Connor must have felt the shiver because he ruffled Murphy's hair before moving away to slip on the hospital robe. He patted the pockets of Murphy's jacket before dipping into one to retrieve two cigarettes and a book of matches.
Without a word, Murphy got to his feet and followed his brother out to the courtyard where they smoked in silence, standing next to each other, each man lost in his own thoughts. Occasionally they reached out to each other, finding comfort and strength in the other's touch. Murphy knew that, despite his nonchalant attitude, Connor was nervous too. He also knew that now more than ever, he had to be strong for his brother's sake.
When they returned to the room, Danae was there, sitting on the hospital bed a bundle of black in her arms. Dressed in her street clothes, her glasses were missing and her hair tumbled down around her shoulders. She was pale and there were large, dark circles under her eyes, absently, she stroked the bundle in her arms with her thumbs.
The twins exchanged a glance at the sight, and Connor sat down beside her, slipping an arm around her shoulders. Murphy mirrored the act on her other side.
"What have ya got there, Danae?" Connor asked softly.
Danae's normal calm was nowhere to be seen; she seemed overwrought, almost near tears. "It was back with your things, there wasn't any damage and I got all of the . . ." she took in a deep breath, ". . . all of the blood out. I thought you'd like to have it back." Connor sucked in a breath as she unfolded the bundle and held it up; it was his brother's black coat.
Their jackets were one of the few things the MacManus brothers had brought with them to America. Even though she could scarcely afford it, their Ma had managed to buy both of her sons black peacoats made out of fine Irish wool as a farewell gift, something to remind them of home. She had presented her boys with the identical packages, made them promise to call once they were settled, and then kissed them good-bye, watching as they boarded the plane to embark on a new life.
In those first nights spent in Boston, Murphy had often found his brother curled under or around his jacket, using it as a balm for the homesickness they were both experiencing. Even now, after so many years in the States, Connor could still be found sleeping under his jacket after a particularly bad day.
Connor took the coat from her and Murphy saw that his hands were trembling ever so slightly. "Thank ye, Danae." He murmured, holding it up to his nose and inhaling the scent of the wool.
She tried to smile, but her shoulders hitched under Murphy's arm. He looked at her and gave her a gentle squeeze. Biting her lip, she tried again, this time offering Connor a watery smile, carefully wiping under her eyes. "Oh, I almost forgot, I found these in one of the pockets."
"My lighter!" Seeing the objects in Danae's hand, Murphy took a swat at his twin, hoping to break the somber mood of the room. "Ye fuck, ye did take it!"
Connor laughed as he took his own lighter and ruffled Danae's hair. "Ye did a good thing, Danae . . ."
"Are we ready?" a new voice from the doorway interrupted. They turned as one to see a nurse standing in the doorway, clipboard in her hand. She was pretty, petite and blond with big green eyes and rosy cheeks.
"Almost." Connor said, reaching out to squeeze his brother's shoulder. "Would ye ladies excuse us for a moment?"
Once the door was shut, Murphy exchanged a glance with is brother, and in that glance was the multitude of things he wanted to tell his brother, a thousand things all boiled down into one simple phrase: Love ya, bro.
Connor offered him a wan smile and nodded, the same message in his eyes.
Together the brothers pulled identical rosaries from within their clothing and sank to their knees, heads bowed in prayer.
Murphy and walked with Connor as far as the Medical staff would allow, then watched as his beloved brother disappeared behind double doors. Connor raised a hand in a casual wave before the doors closed, See ye, and Murphy mirrored the gesture, pressing his hand against the glass. See ye.
When he turned around Danae was standing there, leaning in the nearest doorway, her eyes closed, head bowed slightly. For a moment he thought she was praying, but then the truth dawned on him, she was asleep. He chuckled despite the gnawing worry, knowing all too well how it felt to be that tired. Quietly he walked over to her, slipping an arm around her shoulders. "Danae?" he murmured.
She raised her eyebrows, eyes still closed, leaning into him "Hmm?"
"When did ye last get any sleep?"
"Right now." Her words were soft and a little slurred.
"Before now, luv."
"I'm not sure, what is today?"
He chuckled "Let's get ye someplace quiet where ye can have a kip."
Danae shook her head, straightening and opening her eyes. "No, I'm fine."
"Yer so tired yer fallin' asleep standin' up."
"I just need to catch my second wind, it's no big deal."
"Stubborn, aren't ye?"
"Al . . .ways." the word was broken by a jaw splitting yawn. "Talk to me, keep me awake."
"About what?"
"Hmm . . .tell me how you got your scars."
"My scars?"
"I saw them the other day. One on your arm and one on your side."
Murphy found himself wanting Danae to know the truth, "I got shot."
"Like Connor." It was a statement. Murphy looked at her and was surprised to see that all the sleepiness was gone from her eyes. She tilted her head, searching his face, as though there were hidden answers there.
"Aye, like Connor."
"I don't think I want to know this about you." She whispered.
Murphy swallowed against the sting of her words, it was better that she didn't know, anyways. Safer. "Come on," he said, pushing his words past the pain in his chest, "Let's get some breakfast."
o()o
Danae and Murphy had just returned to Connor's room when the doctor knocked on the door. A balding grandfatherly man in a pristine white jacket, Dr. Keller was one of the best surgeons in the area.
Murphy was on his feet in an instant, "How is he?"
Dr. Keller cleared his throat and looked down at the chart in his hands, "We removed the three sizable pieces of shrapnel that the preliminary x-rays showed, one from Connor's thigh and two from his ribs. Post operative x-rays show nothing else that could cause problems later in life."
Murphy nodded, chewing on his thumb "But how is he?"
The doctor chuckled. "He'll be sore, and the anesthesthetic may make him a little nauseous, but he should be up and around in a few hours. They'll be bringing him back to the room any time now."
"So everything went all right, then?"
"The procedure was one-hundred percent successful. This will add a little time to his hospital stay, but Connor is going to be just fine. "
Relief washed over Murphy like a tidal wave. "Thank ye, doctor." He said grinning.
Nodding sincerely, fighting a smile of his own, Doctor Keller reclaimed his hand and gave Murphy a pat on the shoulder. "It was my pleasure."
Murphy stared at the doctors retreating form for a moment, letting the stress and worry of the day dissipate from his body.
"Murphy," Danae's voice was hushed, "look."
Murphy looked out the window just as the sun burst through the dark clouds, turning the hospital room into burnished gold.
"If that isn't a sign," she said quietly, "I don't know what is."
Murphy couldn't have agreed more.
o()o