A/N: PORN!!! YAY!!! So this is my happy one cause I'm an emo kid (not really, I loath emos sometimes, but not all the time, they make really good friends) and I wrote two emo stories. No mas emos. I am HAPPY!!!! Woot. So I wrote about Porn. Not really but seriously, it's the shit. Just kidding. Not really. Anyways, I hope you guys like this! Love YOU ALL!! You guys are the best!!! And this is dedicated to ALL my faithful reviewers. P.S. I made an AMV for my one story if you would like to check it out.

Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran. It would be nice though. Cause then I'd make Hikaru love Kaoru back.

----Porn----

"Today we will be making a list of events for the host club. Doing the same thing over and over again, that's not what the host club is all about."

All eyes were on Tamaki as he stood, rather importantly, at the head of the table. All around him, the host club members watched with rather grim faces. Change their daily rituals? But why? The girls didn't seem to complain, why change now?

"Any suggestions?" the blonde continued, a surprisingly serious expression on his face.

Silence.

"Let's having a sewing circle! Then we can make all the cute little stuffed animal bunnies and puppies and kitties and froggies and goaties and monkies..."

"Eh, Hunny, how about we save what you do in your spare time for later..."

Silence.

"Well, we could have an auction of our stuff. You know, the things we don't use and the girls would find rather appealing sitting next to their shrines of us..."

"Kyoya, I expected more from you."

Silence.

"..."

"Excellent idea Mori, we'll add that on the list as soon as possible. Any more bright suggestions?"

Silence.

Longer period of silence.

"OH MY GOSH!!!" Kaoru suddenly exploded, jumping to his feet with Hikaru right on his tail.

"WE'VE GOT A BRILLENT IDEA!!!" Hikaru sang, gripping his brother by the waist.

The two beamed in all their glory, nodding their nods and looking around as if seeking applauds for their wonderfully flawless idea. The host club stared at them for a bit. Tamaki raised an eyebrow.

"Well...?"

Hikaru grinned and forcefully tilted Kaoru chin up towards his face, grabbing the small of his back and forcing their hips together. Kaoru gasped and shook slightly, a faint crimson coming to rest upon his cheeks.

"You know Kaoru, love, I wouldn't mind all too much if the Host Club just 'happened' to spy on us as we commenced with our... late night activities..." Hikaru breathed, gently playing with Kaoru's wispy locks of hair.

"Oh Hikaru, I would be so embarrassed! Especially when you touch me... 'there'. You know... that certain spot. It always makes me tremble with want and desire... to have that caught on tape then sold to our fan girls? I would die!" Kaoru murmured as Hikaru placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

The older twin chuckled softly.

"You think I care? When you call out my name with such abandonment, it sends shivers down my spine! Making love to you, Kaoru, is the only thing that completes my life... if I could, I would want to take you everyday but... we just can't seem to squeeze in that extra time with the host club and all..."

Kaoru blinked his eyes then cupped a hand over his mouth.

"But if we WERE to make a tape of our love, we'd be doing Host Club AND spending cherished time together! Oh Hikaru, you're so smart... so wise... and sexy when you're right..." Kaoru whispered, reaching up and undoing Hikaru's buttoned up shirt just enough to clamp his mouth onto his brother's neck and give a soft suck.

Hikaru hummed slightly in pain but smirked, running his hands through his brother's hair as he proceeded to give the elder twin a hicky. As the two engaged a little more deeply into their... "play", the host club just sat and stared. And stared some more... Hunny even tilted his head to stare at a different angle. Kyoya blinked several times then began jotting down notes.

"Hikaru and Kaoru porno, check."

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A/N: XP