Chapter Two

Tomorrow is the day. My birthday. I've been waiting for it. I've been needing it. I knew that Ron and Harry needed it too. We worked tirelessly, and got little reward.

However, I was satisfied to see Harry finally opening at least one letter from his huge pile. I crossed my fingers that it was Ginny. Hearing from her would do him some good. Maybe he would even write back.

I envisioned them in the future, after the war was over: a lovey- dovey couple standing in front of a new starter home, Ginny pregnant with a little girl or boy.

I envisioned myself: not so good. An old woman with twenty- seven cats, all of them the exact duplicate of Crookshanks. I shook my head and returned to reality once more.

I was on guard again, but by myself this time. But instead of my usual unwavering stance, I was a bit antsy. I shifted from foot to foot. Parts of my body, like my ankle or my inner neck, would spontaneously itch, and sweat pricked at my back. I looked for shapes in the clouds, but found that my imagination was a bit off.

I checked my watch. 3 p.m. Three hours to go. I had only been there for half an hour.

I groaned out loud. I absolutely loathed guard duty. It was the most boring, mind- numbing, pointless job ever. I wanted to scream.

After this stupid war, I was going to make all the Death Eaters stand in lines forever. That's torture.

When had Ron and I switched brains? When had I become whiny and impatient and he hard- working and tedious?

The weather had all of a sudden become sunny, a culture shock for us, considering all the gloominess that was once upon us. However, it wasn't a cheery kind of sunny- it was humid and sweaty, not to mention smelly.

I finally plopped myself down onto the floor, crossing my legs. I placed my chin on a closed fist, wondering how I had come to this stage in my life. All I had ever really wanted to be was an auror. But now that I was one, I was miserable. I felt like I'd never be happy again.

This place is just like a dementor, was my last thought before drifting into sleep.

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Yelling. Screaming. Fire. Evil cackling.

"Shut up," I mumbled, consciously asleep.

More yelling, screaming, fire, and evil cackling followed. As my brain turned on, I shot up with a start.

Where the heck was I? And what was all the commotion?

I thought back. And with cold, sinking realization, I got up. I cautiously looked into the campsite. And there in front of me was the result of one person- namely me- messing up by sleeping while on guard duty.

Death Eaters. Everywhere. My people were doing their best to hold them back, but things were not going well. The Death Eaters had the element of surprise, and because of me, there were going to be families back at home getting a letter that was going to tear them apart.

I couldn't move for a moment. I was still in shock. I couldn't speak. I couldn't cry. I couldn't breathe.

Then I sprung into action. I pulled out my wand and ran into it all. I screamed a string of curses, bringing down a big bunch of Death Eaters. I put all my training into use, and played killer.

I let myself go, pointing my wand everywhere at once it seemed, seeing the dead faces of my familiars, all the while thinking, This is my fault. This is my fault. This is my fault.

Everything was on fire, including my heart. I lowered my wand for a few moments to search for my two best friends. If they were okay, I would be okay. If they weren't…

Thankfully, I found them back to back, fighting off a circle of masked wizards around them. I didn't allow myself relief just yet.

"Avada Kedavra!" I yelled at one who was going in for a sneak attack while they were both occupied. Smarmy bastard.

"Hermione!" They both called out. Clearly they were relieved at the sight of me. I pushed back my shame for a second to join them.

"Crucio!" I was struck. It wasn't very strong as far as they go, I thought, but it hurt nevertheless. Pins and needles poked at every centimeter of my body.

Suddenly and unexpectedly, healing scars ripped open and I bit back a cry of surprise and pain. I felt tears running down my face, but I refused to make sound. I could faintly hear Harry and Ron in the background, but soon, my whole world became focused on just myself and the pain. This had never happened before during the Cruciatus Curse- clearly this wizard was more powerful than I hoped at first.

The pain didn't stop. I finally threw my head back and screamed; my body jerked in every direction possible.

And then I blacked out.

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I cracked open an eyelid. It was too bright. I closed it again.

Someone was shaking me very hard. I tried to grumble, but no noise came out of my throat.

I heard incoherent gurgling. The sound started to come into focus. It started to sound more like words I knew.

"Gergineora…Jarekorp…Hermione! Wake up!"

I turned my head toward the voice and squinted. I opened my mouth and tried to ask who it was, but soundless air came out.

Water suddenly came rushing through my mouth and throat. I immediately felt better.

"Hermione, are you alright?" I could see now. It was Ron. Harry was standing next to him, and both of them looked more angry and stern then concerned with my well- being.

"I…I don't know," I managed to croak.

"Well, you have some explaining to do. Weren't you on guard?" Ron practically snarled.

"What day is it?" I whispered in my raspy voice.

"It's Sunday, July 24th. Now what the hell were you thinking, falling asleep on the job?"

I wanted nothing more to collapse back on the bed, but Harry held my shoulders firmly, but not painfully. He was waiting for an answer. I didn't have a liable one.

"I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

They both looked at me incredulously. Ron shook his head and stared at the wall. Harry just looked at me stonily.

I hung my head in shame. I knew it was all my fault. Nothing could excuse me. Absolutely nothing.

Tense silence. I wondered briefly what was going to happen to me. Did I much care anymore?

Still facing away from me, Ron broke the silence. "Hermione," he started off in a chilly tone, "you are a great auror. Your mistake was seemingly small, but it was careless and it cost us all a great deal. I'm supposed to be in charge of this part of the camp…and I don't know what to do with you."

My humiliation then couldn't compare to any other in my life.

He continued. "You are usually responsible. This is pretty much the first mistake you've made here. If the circumstances were different, I would have lectured you for a while and that's it. But seeing what happened…I'll have to report you to the Head of Officers."

I nodded. Tears sprung at my eyes, resulting in a painful burning sensation. I let them fall.

I couldn't bear to be in the same room as them any longer, so I shakily got out of my bed. I had to hold on to the bedpost for a minute to steady myself, and then I walked out the door. They didn't stop me.

I ruined this camp. That was all my fault. Ron and Harry hate me. They didn't care how I was. They forgot my birthday. I'm alone now.

The people who passed me stared at me with resentment, pity, or hatred.

Like a zombie, I walked straight to my bunk. I packed all my things into a suitcase, and for about an hour, I just sat on it, thinking.

I could take the endless misery. I could take the lack of gratitude. I could handle the tiring tasks and endless work and pain. The waiting was wearing thin, but it was something I could endure.

But this- I would kill myself within a few months if I stayed.

I wrote a letter for Ron and Harry after I reached my decision.

Dear Ron and Harry,

I can't even begin to express my remorse and self- hate for what I did. It was stupid and careless and unlike me. I just want to let you know that I'll be safe and I'll think about you two constantly. I could never in a million years ever forget the incredible adventures and friendship we shared. Please don't go looking for me; you won't find me.

All my love,

Hermione

I left it on my bed, feeling numb.

And with that, I picked up my suitcase and left.

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"Welcome to New York. Are you here for business or pleasure?" asked my escort to the hotel I was staying in that night.

I had emptied out my Gringott's account, and found that I had quite a lot to provide for myself for years at least.

I had decided last minute to go to New York City, where my favorite cousin lived. She would take me in- I just knew she would. Last time I contacted her, she was working at a club somewhere here, but besides that, I didn't know much about her anymore.

"Miss?" I realized that I completely ignored her question.

"Oh…well, I'm not really sure yet." My voice was small and timid.

She smiled kindly and brought her up to her room. "Here you go. You're lucky. This is our best room, and it's usually filled."

Lucky really wasn't the word I would have used to describe myself at the time. I smiled anyway.

Before she closed the door, I stopped her with a question. "Excuse me? You wouldn't happen to know where Club Clevouge is, would you?" I remembered that Lisa told me the name once before. I was almost positive that that was where she worked.

She made a face and said, "No, I'm sorry. I wouldn't."

I was alone once more. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was asleep.