Chapter Ten
"Oh God. I'm so nervous," I said breathlessly.
"Hmm." I could tell he was nervous too. Or else he would have smirked and flaunted his confidence.
We were in Lisa's apartment, and we were going to leave for the final round soon. The rest had already gone ahead to serve as waiters.
I liked him. A lot. I liked him a lot now. I mean, how could I not, given the amount of time we spent together over the past two months and him being…him. However, the continuous flow of letters from Harry and Ron kept our relationship floored.
Actually, lately, I couldn't place my feelings for him exactly. Didn't know how much I liked him.
I clutched my sheet music to my chest. "I'm really, really nervous."
He nodded. I looked at him. He slowly turned his head toward me and cracked a smile.
"Hey, don't worry," he said, nudging me. "You'll do great. I'll still beat you, but you'll do great."
I smiled too and slapped him with the sheet music.
"Well, don't get too cocky."
"I'm not."
I looked at him and knew that he was serious. There was a good chance for both of us.
"I haven't forgotten about our bet, you know."
"I know," he replied. We both smiled at this.
"Well, I suppose we better be going soon," I said, looking at the clock. I stretched out my hand.
All of a sudden, we heard a crack in the bedroom. It sounded vaguely familiar.
Like someone apparating.
The hairs on my neck stood up and my heart clenched. I looked at Draco in fear, and he showed the same emotion.
"Did you hear…" he trailed off his sentence.
Then we heard voices. Two familiar voices that I missed, two voices that I was afraid of ever hearing again.
"Argh! Get off me, Harry!"
"Ooh, sorry about that, mate."
"Harry and Ron," I whispered. "Draco- hide."
He shook his head. "I'm going with you."
I widened my eyes. "Draco!" I whispered urgently. "They'll turn you in! I…I can't let that happen!"
He clenched his jaw and shook his head again resolutely.
"Draco. They're not going to hurt me."
"I'm going with you, Hermione."
I tried to stare him down, knowing it was no use. He was just so stubborn. In the background, Harry and Ron kept making clumsy noises around the bedroom, apparently making a plan.
"Draco," I tried desperately, "please. Just go on ahead, I'll deal with it, and I'll just…meet you at the club later."
"No," he said back defiantly, though still whispering. "They can take you yet."
What did that mean? "Draco, honestly. Please just let me handle this."
He shook his head again.
I felt the back of my eyes stinging, but I didn't want to cry. I also didn't want anything to happen to Draco. I knew that they wouldn't hurt me, but he was another story.
"Draco."
"Hermione."
He was just so exasperatingly stubborn! I looked undecidedly at the door, then back at him. I came to a decision.
I took his hand. I gestured toward the door, and we quietly slipped out.
We ran down the stairs and away from the building. It was relieving and liberating.
But a weight was residing on my shoulders. What was going to happen when…or if…I went back? Back to Harry and Ron, the war, the camps… Just thinking about it, actually, made me kill myself.
After a short taxi ride, we got to the club.
We met everyone backstage.
"You guys must be so nervous! And excited, of course, but really happily so, right?"
At first, I forgot what Lisa was even talking about.
"Huh?"
"The competition! Right," Draco supplied. He looked at me, cheeks flushed. "Yeah. We're really…excited."
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"How the hell am I going to do this now, Draco?" I asked tearfully. "I can't concentrate. I'm going out of my mind." I shook my head. "How'd they even find me here? Why'd they come? It can't already be-"
"Hermione." He held my face gently. "It's alright. I know, it's big. It's scary. But…singing…will help. It will help you."
A tear dripped out. "…But…what about us?"
He looked down. He pulled me close, so my face was buried in his chest.
Draco's song was called. It was "Because You Live". We sadly let go of each other. Before that, though, he seemed like he was on the verge of saying something, or doing something, but changed his mind last minute and whispered instead, "This song's for you."
He went on as I went to watch from the side of the stage. A slightly sad, ominous tune began.
Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart-
It's the end of the world in my mind.
Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call-
I've been looking for the answer-
Somewhere-
I couldn't see that it was right there-
But now I know what I didn't know…
His voice made my heart soar and hurt at the same time. I didn't know what it was about him.
Because you live and breathe-
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help.
Because you live, girl-
My world has twice as many stars in the sky…
It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again.
'Cause of you, made it through every storm.
What is life, what's the use if you're killing time?
I'm so glad I found an angel-
Someone-
Who was there when all my hopes fell-
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes…
I was blushing. I'll admit it. He just had that effect on me.
Because you live and breathe-
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help.
Because you live, girl-
My world has twice as many stars in the sky-
Because you live, I live.
And I really, really didn't want to let him go.
Because you live there's a reason why-
I carry on when I lose the fight-
I want to give what you've given me always-
Because you live and breathe-
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help-
Because you live, girl-
My world has twice as many stars in the sky.
Because you live and breathe-
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help-
Because you live, girl-
My world has everything I need to survive.
He sang the last part softly, and he looked off to the side, at me.
Because you live, I live.
I live.
The audience went wild for him. Especially the females, but they might as well have been nonexistent. He put the mike back in its place and came to me.
We immediately locked in an embrace. I pulled him into a kiss, trying to convey the message: I feel the same way.
His song really struck me, because it captured my feeling for him exactly.
"Hermione!"
Oh, shit.
I quickly separated lips and whipped around. To see Harry and Ron.
"Who the bloody hell is that?" pointed Ron accusingly.
"Uh…uh…" How was I to respond? This is Malfoy, remember him?
To my horror, Draco stepped forward to him.
"Don't remember me, Potter?"
Just like that, he turned from sweet and loving to his defensive mode: smirking and obnoxious. I gaped at him. What the hell did he think he was doing?
They squinted at him. The stage manager called me. "'Who Knows', Hermione Granger?"
"MALFOY!"
Crap. This was just horrible timing. The stage manager called me again.
Immediately, they got out their wands. I rushed over to lower them. "What the bloody hell are you two thinking?" I hissed. "There are muggles here. And the stage manager, also a muggle, is calling my name."
"This is Malfoy, Hermione. He's been on the wanted list for how long, now? Of course, you probably forgot, seeing as how you were snogging not a moment ago," snarled Ron.
"Hermione Granger, with 'Who Knows'", the stage manager repeated impatiently.
I quickly said to her, "Can we possibly have an…intermission?"
Harry and Ron gaped at me. "You're going to perform?"
"Yes", I replied defensively.
"Merlin, first Malfoy's a bleedin' singing superstar, and now Hermione too!" muttered Ron. "Unbelievable!"
"Hermione, I know you needed your moments of freedom, but this is ridiculous. You need to come with us now. Now." This came from Harry.
"But…" I looked forlornly at the stage.
"Hermione!" Ron came up and grabbed me by the shoulders. "Wizards and witches are dying right now! They're dying. We have to go as soon as possible."
"Hermione Granger! You're up now!"
"Hermione! We need to get out of here! The final battle is happening and we all need to be there this instant!"
I couldn't think! I shut my eyes and clenched my fists to my head.
"Okay! Just give me a moment, all of you! Please!"
Ron threw up is hands. "Don't you get it? The final battle is right now. We don't have a moment!"
Draco stepped forward. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to."
Harry and Ron were all over him in an instant.
"You don't have a clue, Malfoy!"
"Why don't you just stay out of this!"
I screamed, agitated. "Shut the bloody hell up, all of you!" I yelled, near tears. I rubbed my forehead, and after a moment, turned to Draco. "Draco, they're right, I have to go."
They made satisfied faces, but what struck me was Draco's face.
First, it was slight betrayal. But then it melted into sad understanding. He wordlessly nodded.
I closed my eyes. "I'm sorry," I said softly.
He looked away from me and replied, "I understand. It's just…" I waited for him to continue, but he looked at Harry and Ron, and just trailed off. There it was again.
When his gaze returned to me, his face was devoid of any emotion. "Goodbye, Hermione."
I searched in his eyes, but they became blank.
Harry and Ron shifted. They seemed to have made a small agreement with each other. Harry came up to me and gave me a hug. He said in my ear, "Listen…I know we don't act like it, but we're glad to see you again. Work it out with Malfoy. But as soon as you can, apparate to our war camp. We really do need you."
I didn't give a reply, for I was still somewhat speechless.
Harry and Ron retreated to apparate. I looked to Draco again. Suddenly, an idea struck me.
"Draco, why don't you come with me!"
He stared at me, and then shook his head, looking down. "You know I can't do that, Hermione."
I turned him toward me again. "Why not? You said you…you would…but…and your song…"
He glanced at me. "Hermione, your friends might take mercy on me, but do you really think anyone else would? I'm a wanted man."
"Well, yes, but…you can prove your innocence! I can back you up! You can fight with us! The light side! You can't stay in this world forever anyway! You belong with the rest of the wizards and witches! With me!"
I was beginning to yell with desperation, I knew it. But I just couldn't stop myself.
"I haven't even used a wand in years! How do you expect me to protect myself, let alone help you!"
"I know you can! Haven't you always been a good wizard? Haven't you!"
He was yelling too. It was a really good thing the stage manager was clearing things up with the audience, or else a memory charm would be in order.
"How would you know! You didn't know me back then!"
"And whose fault was that! But you know you don't belong here! Yes, you love singing, but- but- don't you miss everything? Flying! Yes, flying! Quidditch! You were great at it!"
I looked to his eyes for a reaction, but he betrayed nothing. "I can't believe you would even compare that to-"
"Argh! Why don't you just come!"
"God damn it, Hermione, I've made a life here! I've got actual friends, an actual job that doesn't involve violence! I can't just pick up everything and follow you to London where your camp is, do things according to your life! Because I have one now too! You came here, we've had our meaningless fun, now you can just leave and everything will go back to the way it should be!"
I stopped short, stung.
That one hit me in the heart.
He couldn't have meant that.
His expression softened a bit at my stricken face, but he was still resolute. "Look, Hermione," he rubbed his eyes. "I…I can't just…"
I nodded vigorously, not knowing what I was agreeing too, being too hurt.
"Yeah, yeah…I…I know…" I whispered, leading up to nothing. My tears were on the brink of my eyelids, and it was only the matter of two seconds for them to fall. I looked up at him, his face blurry. "I get it." My voice was cracked.
His voice was filled with heartbreak as well. "Hermione…" he croaked.
"No," I interrupted him, tears dripping steadily, sliding off my face and falling to the floor. I dropped my head so my hair would form a curtain in front of my face. I took a shaky breath. "…Draco. I just-"
The stage manager came behind me then and tapped me. "Hermione Granger, your song is up now. We've delayed for far too long. If you keep this up, you'll have to be disqualified." Drip.
Without even bothering to turn toward her, I said quietly and sadly, though loudly enough so she could hear, "Disqualify me then… Urgent matters have come up, so now I have no choice but to…respectfully…drop out…of this competition." I ended faintly. Drip. Drip.
She just shrugged and said, "Suit yourself." She left to announce it to the audience.
I conjured up a weak smile through my misery. I looked up at his face one last time, and put my hand to his cheek. "Bye, Draco." I took another watery, shaky breath.
"You win."
And with that, I disappeared.