Chapter Eleven
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
How could I have let myself think…even believe…unfathomable…just so humiliating…what was the matter with me?
I appeared at the horribly familiar war camp, and although I remembered it all perfectly, it seemed like years rather than months that I had been free from it.
By the time I got there, I was on the brink of going into sobs. How Draco- Malfoy- hurt me so much I couldn't imagine. There was one plausible reason, but it wasn't even plausible to me at all!
I wiped away my tears and looked around. Empty. No one was here.
Confused, I looked all around me as I sniffled pitifully.
I turned around and around but I could find not one trace of intelligent life. Or even life in general.
Then I saw a few dozen sparks go up in the sky. My past training caught up to me, as I prepared for an approximated sprint distance of two and a half miles west.
"Holy cow," I panted after only about fifteen minutes of running. It's really been a while since I worked out like this. I mean, we used to run for hours straight. Not to mention that I've gained a couple of pounds since I left- no doubt because of all the alcohol and the lack of real exercise, unless one would count dancing….which I don't. No, not really, compared to the hundred sit-ups and push-ups and countless obstacle courses and practice spells I used to do.
He couldn't have meant everything that he said. He just couldn't have. At least…not everything.
I mean, I guess I understand that he didn't want to leave all that he built up. Of course I understood. He found real friends, he had a great job that he loved…
But that last part- meaningless fun? Meaningless fun.
It wasn't meaningless fun. It had to be much more than that. We shared so much. And although that first night we had might not have meant much, but what about all those sleepless nights we chose to stay up on? When we didn't shag? Those long, agonizingly intimate conversations we voiced? The songs he inspired. And those eyes of his- the way they found me when he sang his song, the song for me. What do you call all that?
Love. The voice in my heart came out of nowhere.
Tears overcame my whole being as I let the emotion fill me up; pouring out of my eyes as I ran faster, faster toward the direction of my fate.
I usually ran a five minute mile, but at the rate I went, I got there in nearly half an hour. It took even longer because I had to run through a wood.
The sounds of battle were becoming clearer and clearer. Shouts of curses, yelling, chaotic and violent.
I peeked from behind a tree at the clearing I came to. As out of breath as I was, I held it still at the sight before me.
A mixture of rustling robes, lighter colors for our side, and black for the Death Eaters. And red for the blood.
Dead bodies on the dirt ground, people screaming in agony, in pain. I automatically reached for my robe pocket, when I realized with horror that I as still wearing a revealing tank top and jeans, wandless. Defenseless.
Oh, shit, shit, shit, SHIT! Well, I was essentially useless without a wand! What was I to do now? If I even took a few steps into that scene, I'd get killed for sure!
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I let out a brief scream as I grabbed the wrist and reflexively flipped the person.
He groaned on the floor. I clapped my hand to my mouth when I realized who it was.
"Ron! Oh, I'm so sorry!" I bent a bit to help him up but he shook his head no as he painfully clutched his buttocks.
From the side, Harry came into my vision. He glanced at Ron, surprised at his position. "What are you doing sitting down, mate?" he asked cheerfully. Ron glared at him for a moment and got up on his own.
Harry handed me a wand. "I doubted you'd go back to get yours."
I took it gratefully, as well as the maroon- colored robe he held in his other hand.
"About time you came," grumbled Ron, obviously still sore. In both senses- mood and butt.
Harry looked tentatively behind me and around the area. "So…Malfoy anywhere?"
The mention of him sprang more tears to my eyes, which I fought back. I was still at the sensitive point on that particular subject.
"Why would he be here?" asked Ron, only to get no response.
"Really?" Harry sounded perplexed. But…" I got the gist of what he wanted to say by his face.
"But what?" Ron cocked his head. I lifted my head to face Harry again, a resolute expression on my face.
"I came here to fight, and that's what I'm going to do, Harry. Not to ponder about some silly notions of love."
"Love?" asked Ron incredulously, still being ignored, of course. "Harry, what does she mean, love?" Oops. I didn't really mean to slip that out.
"I didn't mean anything by it, Ronald!" I snapped. "Now let's go!"
I walked curtly in front of them and ran into the battle, taking out a Death Eater as I did. "Hermione, wait!" yelled one of them from behind me, whom I ignored. I pointed my wand at a Death Eater ahead.
The killing curse, my first in months, felt terrible and exhilarating at the same time.
Of course, there was more than Avada Kedavra to off someone. More creative things- usually more painful; sometimes just more fun to watch for those who were that cruel.
The wand I was using was off, though. I would have been rusty anyways, seeing how long I was without a wand, but to use a wand that wasn't even my own: I was definitely at a slight disadvantage.
I turned to my right just as a spell came hurling toward me. I jumped to the left, but not fast enough. It scraped across my waist, leaving a gash just large enough to make walking very difficult.
I gasped at the pain and tried to keep myself held up. I clutched my side and felt blood seeping through the robes.
"Well, well. What a pleasant surprise," whispered an evilly smooth voice. I widened my eyes in shock as he lifted his mask, revealing his face. I glared.
Severus Snape.
"I must say, Miss Granger, as much fun as it was to torture you in class, it will be much more so to torture you on the battlefield."
"You son of a bitch."
He merely laughed. "Let's finish this now, mudblood."
"Cixeaux finetre!"
I moved to the side, but the spell hit my gash, causing me to stumble to the ground. I gasped for breath, but it was knocked out of me. I grabbed my wand and yelled, "Fiera Connundrua!"
A pathetic stream of fire was spat out of the wand, which Snape effortlessly sidestepped.
He laughed again. "Tsk, tsk. I'm disappointed. I expected more out of the top of the class, even in my potions class. Oh, well. Just like your beloved headmaster, this won't be a challenge at all. Avada-"
"Elista tristona!" A strong jet of magic shot at Snape from behind him. I strained to see my savior.
"Ginny!" I managed to choke out. She took my left arm and helped me up, her wand still held up.
"We have some safe ground in the woods across this clearing, but we're going to have to be hyper- aware of our surroundings, alright?"
Regulation rescue speech, I recognized. I nodded as we began making our journey.
All around us, people were fighting and dying. If I weren't so used to it, I would have thrown up. Once in a while, I would get faint and dizzy and we'd trip over ourselves, but Ginny, good soul that she was, persisted with me and soon, we were in the east woods, generally okay.
We limped into them for a fair amount of time until we came to an oak, pretty tall compared to the trees around. Ginny looked around us cautiously to make sure we were alone. Satisfied, she brought me forward a bit, closer to it, with me still holding my side, and she pulled a large twig on the side of the trunk.
The tree didn't appear to change in appearance, but she seemed confident as she led us right through the trunk of the oak.
I was startled, but only slightly. It was a pretty clever hiding place for the light side's headquarters. Inside, there were dozens of people buzzing around, busy and talking and planning. It was pretty enormous space, too, with rooms for injured people and other various reasons.
"Hermione!"
From my side, Ron and Harry emerged from one of the rooms. "You're here! Thank goodness, we thought since we didn't tell you where- What the bloody hell happened to you!"
It was hard to breathe. I managed to say, "My- my side. Snape- he got me there twice."
At the mention of that name, everyone's eyes narrowed.
"Yeah, but stupid git left his back undefended. I thought the old bat would be smart enough to at least have himself covered properly," spoke Ginny coldly.
I noticed Harry tensed at the realization of her presence.
I couldn't believe it. After all this time, they were still awkward like this with each other, even though it was SO OBVIOUS that they were meant to be with each other since day one. I mean, why prevent what is fated to be, that which is the love between two greatly devoted lovers, whom, albeit were in denial, still were going to be together in the end?
And I know what's going on in your mind. And I'll say it right now, don't even think of me and Draco. We completely don't fit into the same category that Harry and Ginny are in, because they are actually meant for each other and in love and in denial, whereas me and Draco are just… I mean, we've only know each other for… That is, we've technically known each other for a while… But those years couldn't honestly… We've only really talked for… Well, sure, we slept… But…
OH FORGET IT.
Harry, at first full of confidence and relief that I found my way, now shuffled his feet awkwardly. "Hello, Ginny. How are you?"
She lay me down on a cot in the room we were in. "We're at war, Harry, how do you think I am?" she asked rather coolly. Ron and I just stayed silent, eyes wide at this confrontation.
He winced. "Right…Well then. I, uh…I just want you to be safe out there."
She didn't even look at him as she looked around the potions cabinet. "I'm a big girl, Harry, I can take care of myself. I'm not the second year I once was, needing to be rescued by you from the big, scary basilisk."
He backtracked. "Yes! I mean, I didn't mean to insinuate that. I just mean-"
She cut him off. "Yeah, whatever, Harry."
Harry looked down at his feet. "Yeah. Sure."
They both left the room we were in, Ginny for bandages and Harry…well, probably to escape the discomfort, really.
Before fully leaving the room, Ginny turned back and said warmly, "Oh, and Hermione? I'm really glad you came back. I really did miss you so much."
I couldn't help but smile in return. "I missed you too, Gin."
Once it was just me and Ron, I asked him, "What was that all about?"
He shook his head sadly. "Well, you know that Harry had avoided all those letters for so long. And of course, he and Ginny had had the hots for each other since our sixth year. Well, when Harry didn't return the letters, I guess she took it as a, you know, rejection to even their friendship, I guess. So she stopped writing as well."
"Though they're both obviously dying without the other," I nodded.
"Right. But Ginny was sent to work over here where we are a few days ago, and when they came face to face again…Well, you saw what happened just now."
I sat up in my bed, exasperated. "I can't believe those two! The war is here, the time where- where- everything is most precious, because everything can be lost-" I snapped- "just like that! And those two are ignoring their obvious burning passions for each other! How stupid can they be! I mean, they should be making with the time they have now! They should be ravishing each other!"
Ron looked taken aback by my rant.
"So what about Malfoy, then, hmm?" asked a voice by the doorway hotly. "You say that we're stupid, but what about you and your newfound romance? You've spent, what is it, months with him, and you guys obviously got very cozy with each other, but where is he, huh? Not here, yet it seems that you two have your own burning passions."
My eyes filled up immediately. "Not the same thing at all, Harry!" I claimed angrily.
"Yes, it is! Granted, we're not in the complete same situations, but you two are obviously in love!"
"Love!" gasped Ron.
"But instead of having him come here with you, you arrive alone! And you accuse me of not cherishing this remaining time? Do you think I like our way of life now? I have a reason for pushing away love for a while, but what's your excuse, huh? What!"
He hit the mark. "That…that…that is none of your bloody business, Harry Potter!"
"Oh, please!" he scoffed. "You two are so obviously head over heels; I saw you! Ron saw you! And a smart girl like you, I don't believe you wouldn't realize it! And because you're crying right now- well, that just proves it, doesn't it!"
"HE DIDN'T WANT TO COME WITH ME, ALRIGHT!"
Shocked silence.
"What?" whispered Ginny, who apparently was there the whole time.
Shamefaced, I whispered, "I asked him to come with me…and he didn't."
No one seemed to know how to answer my confession of rejection. Then Ron spoke up, trying to console me.
"Ah, he's a bastard, always was one, 'Mione. You know you've always got us," he said softly, coming to sit on the end of the cot.
"Even though they've both been complete gits to you. Gotta forgive them, though, right?" seconded Ginny.
Of course, their sympathy made me feel even sadder, and the tears came in a fresh wave.
"Hermione," Ginny came to sit on my bed, even choosing to sit on the same side Harry was on. "Who knows? Maybe he'll he even come here."
It gave me renewed hope, but they were immediately dashed again.
"That's impossible," I said through watery eyes. "He doesn't even know where this place is. All he knows is it's near our old war camp, and I never told him any specific location."
"Well, he could find a way!" she declared. "Love can do crazy things, you know."
I shook my head. "Ginny, he isn't coming. Please, please, don't get my hopes up."
Quietly, Ron asked, "So you love him then?"
At that moment, someone else burst in as I hastily wiped my eyes. "The Death Eater line is thinning, and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is coming toward the front line. We...we believe that the Final Scene is nearing."