So I know I skipped the whole, telling Kirsten and Sandy part, but oh well, lol. So here's the next chapter, and please review because there haven't been as many reviews and usual!
Everything seemed to be going well for Seth and Summer. They were engaged now for almost a month and Summer was getting worried their wedding wouldn't be soon enough. She was already started to show a little bit,and she didn't want any more people to know. They already let it slip out to Kirsten and Sandy and they promised not to tell anyone else.
But now, Summer and Seth were walking into the hospital waiting room for another appoitment. As they walk in they are talking about names for the baby.
"Ok, ok. I have the name, you ready?" Summer said.
"What is it?" Seth asks.
"Sit down, I want you sitting down for this." They both sit down on the couch. "Ok, close your eyes. Open your mind, and picture this. Mirabella."
Seth opens his eyes and gives Summer a look. "Ok, and how about if it's a boy, Newsweek?"
"Ok okay," Summer said hitting his leg. "Fine, go ahead and mock me."
"How come these last ten weeks you've been feeding me girls names?"
"I got a couple boy names," Summer defended.
"Please," Seth encourages.
Summer looks down at the ground thinking before looking back at Seth. "Otto?"
"Otto? Otto?" Seth questions. "That's a nice name if you're bald and have a monocole."
"Fine," Summer says.
"Hello Ms.Roberts," The receptionist says.
"Hi," They both say.
"Why don't you three fill this out then give it back?" The receptionsit hands Summer another clip board with files to fill out and Summer returns back to the couch.
"You know it's easy to shoot down names, what about yours?" Summer asks.
"I got names." Summer says 'uh huh' and Seth continues. "Joseph? Andy? Michael? Janet? Jermaine? Theo?"
"Honey..."
"Latoa" He continues and Summer looks at him and nods her head.
Seth picks up a magazine and casually starts looking through it while Summer fills out the paperwork.
"Not so easy is it?" Summer asks. "What's wrong with Otto? It's a very distintive name. You see very cute kids with the name Otto." Summer defends, stillliking the name,'Otto'.
"With good reason. Distintive is important for the parent. But for the kid all it means is he's going to end up hanging by his underwear from a school locker."
"It is not," Summer said.
"You gotta think about the playground," Seth points out. "What you want is a name that says 'don't notice me, and if you do, please god don't beat me up'."
"Where did you grow up?" Summer asks.
"On the streets baby," Seth said as he flips through a few pages of the magazine.
"Ooo," Summer scrunces up her nose.
"What?"
"'Do you want to know the sex of the baby'?" Summer quotes.
"You know where I stand on that. I think only good comes from knowing."
"But what about the surprise?" Summer questions. "This is like the biggest surprise you can ever have in your life,"
"What is the surprise? It's one of two things. It's either a boy or a girl. If it's a third thing...like say an owl. Then I say let's find out now."
Summer sits there thinking for a few moments, then checks a box on the file. "Listen, I hate to do this to you but I'm the mother..."
"What does that mean?"
Summer stands up as she is saying this and hands the file back to the reseptionist. "It means, I'm carrying this child and I say we're not finding out."
"Ok, I got no input on it?"
"Well, posession is 9/10 of the law, let's face it, you got nothing"
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Summer is sitting on the table in the hospital room while the doctor hooks up the ultra sound. Once it is hooked up both Seth and Summer put their hands over their eyes.
"Everything's looking good," The doctor said. "Awww,"
"Oh, this is ridiciouls," Seth sighs.
"We have a deal,"
"What deal? I had no leverage. You were holding the baby hostage."
The doctor continues to look at the ultra sound making cutesie noices making it difficult for Seth to keep his hands over his face.
"Ahh, I can't take it anymore," Seth said.
"You keep those hands over your eyes," Summer threatens.
"Aww, look how sweet," The doctor says.
"Sweet...sweet in a boyish way? Or a girlish way?" Seth asks.
"It's so cute," The doctor continues ignoring Seth's question.
"Cute handsome? Or cute pretty?"
"Everything's fine, the baby looks great. Oh, how adoarble!" Joan cooes.
"Well I guess we're just gonna have to take her word for it," Seth leans toward Summer.
"Well if you wanna look you can look," The doctor said.
"No, No, No, No, No," Summer said.
"No, We agreed we weren't going to look."
As Seth is saying this, he takes his hands away from his face for just a moment. "Oh!" He said, then placed his hands back over his face.
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"A penis?" Isacc asked.
Isacc and Seth are in the kitchen drinking coffee. Seth is putting away a few stray dishes while Isacc just sits on the counter.
"A penis," Seth confirms.
"Positively...a penis?"
"Absoluetly," Seth said proud.
"Well let me ask you something?"
"Yes sir,"
"Was it big?" Isacc asked.
"Can I tell you something? When it's your kid you don't care about that, you just care about if the kid is healthy- it's huge!"
"Alright!" Isacc said patting Seth on the back. "There ya go Sethie. He's a Cohen!"
"Oh, believe me, that's a Cohen!
Isacc and Seth share a look. "Who are we kidding?" They both say at the same time.
"So listen, you're gonna be a father. A son, a boy." Isacc walks over to the fridge and gets out some milk for his coffee.
"My first child, will be a masculine child."
"Hey, hey, hey. Listen, what are you gonna tell Sums?"
"I, I'll tell her." Seth said pouring coffee for the rest of the people in the living room. "When the moment's right."
"When's that gonna be?"
"Right after the kids born,"
"You're gonna keep the sex of your own child from your fiancee?"
"Why would I ruin this for her? The surprise is the most important thing to her, and she's been waiting for this her whole life."
Seth picks up the tray with the coffe's on it and Isacc opens the door before he says, "Plus, she'll kill you,"
"Then there's that,"
"Oh that's terrible," Summer said as Seth and Isacc come out of the kitchen. "Cohen, did you know you're uncle david's in the hospital?"
"Noo, what happened?" Seth asks as he sets down the tray of coffee on the coffee table.
"Well he's very sick," Sandy said.
"I would imagine, he's in the hospital, he's very sick. What's the matter?"
"He's very sick," Sandy says again.
Seth starts putting his hands out grabbing for more. "Little more imformation please,"
"Well, the doctor said it could be..." Sandy stops and makes quotes signs there.
"That's what the doctor said? The doctor said that?"
"Well he said he had a thing..." Kirsten starts pushing downwards by her heart and Sandy hits her on the leg.
"What! He's very sick,"
"I'm just trying to get a little-" He turns towards Isacc and Summer and they both say, "He's very sick,"
"Ok..." Seth shuts up. "Alright"
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"What was the number?"
"627,"
Seth and Summer walk into Uncle David's hospital room and he isn't in the room. There is a bed folded up and a bed that is empty.
"Huh..." Seth said as he walks to check in the bathroom. "Oh, god,"
Summer shakes her head. "No, No, No, i'm sure they just moved him. Let's go check,"
They start to walk out of the room when they hear muffled noises. They share a quick glance and then a head pops out from the bed that is folded up.
"I said, open up the bed please!"
Seth and Summer walk over to the bed and quickly unfold it.
"Oh my god, Uncle David. Are you okay?" Seth asks.
David takes a few quick breaths of air. "I made a mistake."
"You made a mistake?"
"Yeah, I pressed the wrong button."
"Are you hurt?"
"No,"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes,"
David is turning from one side of the bed to the other to talk to Summer and then Seth.
"What exactly happened?" Summer asks.
"Can you do me a favor? Move over there, I can't take this moving back and forth."
Summer quickly runs to the other side of the bed next to Seth.
"Did you hit the wrong button?" Seth asked.
"I hit the wrong button...I've been pressing buttons my whole life. Intercoms, door-doobells, but this is the first time that i've ever gotten folded in half. But...I did learn something."
"What's that?"
"Did you know your knee caps fit right into your eye sockets?" He point at his knee's and then his eyes and then turns back to them. "Oooo, It's my favorite neice and nepehew." He throws his arms into the air. "Firm embrace!"
"Firm embrace!" They both say and then lean into him. They both hug him tight then pull away, smiling.
"Of course you know I'm dying..." David suddenly said.
"You're not dying," Seth said rolling his eyes.
"Oh come on, I know I'm dying. I can't do anything about it,"
"Uncle David, come on, what did the doctor say?" Summer asked.
"The doctors...what do they know? I'm telling you, it's bleak."
"What do you mean? Why do you say it's bleak?" Seth asks.
"Last night...late at night. I saw God," Summer and Seth share a look and Summer raises her eyebrows. "Yes, It was hovering over me...maybe a little bit to the left. And...he spoke to me."
"What did he say?"
"He said...'Hello...'."
"That's how God talks? That's all he said, Hello?"
"Yes, that's how he talked. But, he'a regular guy. He could do anything! He could take this whole building..turn it upside down. He could take Cincinatti..and shove it in Chicago. You want a chocolate malt..then boom..you got it. Toast...always golden brown. Always. He's perfect, but he doesn't rub your nose in it."
"So you actually talked back to God?" Summer asked disbelieved.
"I did...but I was repect for him. So I said, 'Oh lord! What you of me, for tho be unforgivith of me for unforgivith of you for me,"
"Uncle David," Seth cuts him off.
"Yesth?"
Summer picks up the tray of food sitting on his nightstand table. "Uncle David, you have some food here and you haven't even touched it."
"Food? You say food? I say hah!" Summer sets the food down on his lap and he sits up. "Seth..there's a bedpan under the nightstand..."
"Oh, You know I'll just wait outside," Summer said.
"No, No, No...it's not that, it's not that kind of thing. Here, let me show you what I have in mind." He picks up the tray of food and takes the bedpan from Seth. He dumps all the food into the bedpan and throws them both on the floor. "There, saved the trip," He motions through his body.
Two nurses come through the door wearing white jumpsuits holding onto a clipboard. it's time," One of the nurses say getting him ready to go.
"No, No, No, Seth, don't let them take me."
"It's ok, you're gonna be fine..."
"Ooooo," Uncle David said putting his hands out in front of him. "I'm in a tunnel, I see a light, I see a light. It's the other end..is it heaven? No...It's New Jersey."
"We have to go," The nurse said again.
"Listen..don't you worry about anything you're gonna be fine," Seth said trying to calm David down.
"You have to do me a big favor,"
"Sure, anything," Both Seth and Summer say.
"This is a death bed request, if you say yes, it's a binding promise,"
"Yes, yes," The both say again.
"If you have a boy, I want you to name him after me,"
Seth and Summer back away and look at eachother. Summer scrunces up her face and so does Seth.
"Uhm...Uncle David..."
"Woah, Woah, Woah," He starts pretending that he can't see anything and in pain.
"Ok, Ok, Okay!" Both Seth and Summer say afraid for his life.
They start to wheel him out the room before David stops them.
"Wait! The thing is, my real name..it's not David."
Seth and Summer look at eachother again and then back at David who is being wheeled out of the room. He yell's back at them before he's to far away.
"My real name is Doodaronami"
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"Doodaronami," Seth said as the enter the apartment just getting back from the hospital.
Summer starts taking her coat off and then lays it on the chair. "I know..."
"The man's name is Doodaronami,"
"That's what he said," Summer said as she continues to make her way into the kitchen.
"We just promised to name our child, Doodaronami."
"Alright, Alright..."
"I don't understand how you can be so calm about this," Seth places his coat also on the chair, on top of Summer's.
"Because worrying's not going to stop any of this, we gave our word."
"No, we gave our word to a guy named David."
"It's a matter of honor, if we break our word, then what kind of people are we?"
Seth comes into the kitchen to join Summer who is taking some candy out of the cuboard.
"The kind of people who have the right to name their child, Tom."
"I have a little surprise for you," Summer said as she digs around in the back of candy. "I think I know something you don't know,"
"Oh yeah, what's that?" Seth takes a cup from the cuboard and fills it up with water at the sink.
"We're having a girl,"
Seth looks at her surprised and Summer just smiles at him.
"What are you talking about?" He finally said.
"I have a very strong feeling that this baby's a girl. And if that's true..we have no problem." She throws some more candy into her mouth while she walks out of the kitchen and into the living room.
"You're talking about a feeling?" Seth followes her out of the kitchen into the living room.
"It's more than a feeling. It's like a maturnal instint."
"I respect that, Honey, I really do. But...thousands of years of civilization..it's kinda dulled our instincts. Look at me, my whole hunting, gathering thing..that's pretty much shot."
Summer sits down on the couch and gives him a confused look trying not to smile.
"What are you talking about?" Summer asked as the doorbell rang. She stood up to go and answer it but continued talking. "This isn't some concept, I'm physically connected to this child and I know..."
"I'm physically connected to my pancreas and that hasn't said a word to me in 6 years,"
"Why are you giving me such a hard time about this?" Summer asked as she opened the door. Kirsten, Sandy, and Isacc were standing there and Sandy looked smitten.
"Please tell me it isn't true," Sandy said as he runs into the apartment towards Seth.
"I take it you talked to Uncle David,"
"Tell me you didn't agree to name your child Appadectami."
Kirsten walks into the apartment after saying hello to Summer and sits down on the couch.
"Doodaronami!" Kirsten corrected.
"Have you both lost your mind?" Isacc asked. "You have any idea how much this kid is going to be teased? Dood, Doodi? Doodioname."
"We know!" Seth said. "Keep this coming because this is really helping now."
"Aw, come on Sethie. Think about it, If i went to school with a kid named Doodaronami, my day would not be completed until I made the kid cry."
Seth and Summer clean up a few coffee cups from earlier and Seth goes into the kitchen to put them away.
"Who do you think he's going to come to? You? The perps? I don't think so..he's going to come to me, his favorite Uncle. You gotta give this kid a normal name..."
Summer pour herself some water and then walks back towards the chair she was sitting in. "Kids can make fun of any name..."
"Oh yeah? Bob,"
"Blob,"
"Alright, Joe?"
"Shmoe,"
"Shelly?"
"Smelly,"
"Isacc,"
Summer thinks for a moment. "Isacc,"
Isacc looks away defeated and Summer sits down on the chair next to Sandy.
"Now you see, with a nice name like Kirsten, you wouldn't get any teasing." Sandy said pointing at her.
"Well actually, a few kids use to call me a dumbass but.."
Sandy look's at her telling her she shouldn't have said anything and she just shrugs.
"But if Doodaronami was such a nice name, why does he call himself David?" Sandy asked, looking between everyone.
"He never even liked it himself..."
"Sandy..." Summer said as she pats his arm. "It's not as bad as it sounds, I was just telling Seth that I have a very strong matrual instint that it's a girl."
"Really?"
"Yeah," Summer nods her head.
"Oh what a relief...I know that feeling." Kirsten said as Seth and Isacc exchange a look and Seth glares at him.
"You see?" Summer said pointing at Kirsten and Seth just nodded his head.
"Yeah, I knew Seth was going to be a boy..."
"You just get that feeling..."
"That-That feeling..."Kirsten agrees. "Sandy..you have nothing to worry about,"
"Well that's a relief,"
Isacc starts to chuckle from behind the couch, and Seth looks are him.
"I think Sethie here has something he'd like to say," He pats Seth on the back.
Seth looks up at everyone and shrugs his shoulders. "No I don't..."
"No, No, you want to say the thing. You know...about the thing."
"No, I don't," Seth said again glaring at Isacc.
"What thing about what thing?" Summer asked.
"Nothing..." Seth said just as Isacc said "Something..."
"So say it already..." Kirsten urges.
Seth hits Isacc on the head before turning back to them. "I dunno...I was telling him earlier that I have my own paternal insticts and I thinkg it's going to be a boy,"
"Honey, that's very sweet but this is kind of a woman thing..." She points at herself and Seth starts to make his way over the the chair that Summer is in.
"Yeah, I know I understand. I just...I really, really, really, got a strong feeling about this." He kneels down next to her. "I can tell you with almost absoulte certainty that this baby's going to be a boy."
"Honey, we have nothing to worry about. Trust me..."
"I peaked at the ultra sound and saw a little penis." Seth said quickly but Summer understood every word. Her smile fades and her eyes bulge as she realizes she just promised to name her child 'Doodaronomi.
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"Wait, Wait, Wait..." Seth said putting his arm out to stop Summer from going into Uncle David's hospital room.
"Don't chicken out on me,"
"No, No, I'm not. It's just...the man is on his death bed, and we made a promise."
"I'm not keeping that promise."
"It's just, It's not going to be easy. He's in there, he's hanging by a thread."
"Sweetie," Summer said taking Seth's hand. "Prepare yourself for the worst."
They open the door and find David dancing to the 'Turkey Trot' with his nurses. Summer and Seth look in amused with a smile on their faces and when they finish they clap.
"Alright boy's take five..." David said. "Smoke if ya want too. Leon..." He pulled one of the nurses over to him and explained what he was doing wrong in the dance. Once he got it right, he let the nurses leave the room and turned to Seth and Summer.
"Uncle David! What is all this?" Summer asked as she closed the door.
"The turkey trot!" He said obviously.
"What about the surgery?"
"Surgery, What surgery? They prodded and poked..they manipulated digitally..." He puts his hands out and throws them back down at his side.
"So everything's alright?" Seth asked.
"Zip, zero. Nothing..Nothing!" He walks away from them over to his bed where his stuff is laying to be put into his suit case.
"What about the pain?"
"Gas." He simply said. "A humongous rogue, bubble of trapped gas. And it left as siletnly as it came."
Seth and Summer nodded their head, even thought they were disguisted and David continued packing his bag.
"Wow, well we're so happy that you're feeling better. Because...we actually wanted to talk to you about something."
David continutes packing his bag not paying much attention to them but the shirt he picked up. "This isn't mine...Oh well"
He throws it into the suitcase.
"We, we uh, we wanted to talk to you about something. The name?" Summer said hoping it would trigger some kind of memory of telling them to name their kid after him.
"The name?"
"Doodaronomi?"
"Yes, yes. Doodaronomi..." He picks up his pants and puts them under his chin to fold them.
"We're a little consirned. It's a little uh..."
"Here's the thing. It's a little..uh..uncommon." Seth finishes for Summer.
"Uncommon? If you want common, you name a kid Joe, You name a kid John. The kid goes to a picnic...'John...your sandwhich is ready!' 40 kids named John come running." He takes a break and moves the pants from under his chin then continues. "You name the kid Doodaronomi...'Doodaronomi..your sandwhich is ready!' Your kids gettin' that sandwhich." He puts the pants he was folding into the suitcase.
"You make a very good point..." Seth said. "But, it's just, we're consirned..."
"This isn't mine either..." David said as he puts a bottle of shampoo into the suitcase. He picks up a bag, "This is mine," he said and he places it into his suitcase and closes it.
"We're just afraid that the kid's going to get teased..." Seth points to David. "I mean..didn't you get teased?"
"Yeah...yeah. We all get teased. No big deal. As I was walking home from school...'Dood..Doodi! There's no doodionyou is there doodioname?' Eh? I got it, I got it. They're push, I'd push, there'd be a lot of hitting and smashing. They'd take off my hat and spit in it. There one day I was like this is it..i'm done! So I took David..and discarded Doodaronomi."
"So..as you can see. We don't want-"
"We can't-" The both tried.
"You can't name this kid Doodaronomi." David said for them. "What are you nuts? I was on pain killers...I was delerious. What's your excuse?"
Seth and Summer look at eachother before looking back at him. "uhh..."
"Shame on you!" David said. "But...I love you both so much for going along with that name for so long."
"Yeah..." Summer said.
"No Doodaronomi?" Seth asked.
"No Doodaronomi..." David confirmed. "Firm embrace!"
Seth and Summer lean in mumbling 'firm embrace'. They pull away and start to walk out the door before David stops them.
"If it's a boy, name him anything you want!" Seth and Summer thank him but he wasn't finished. "But if it's a girl...I'd like it if you named it after my mother."
Seth and Summer look at eachother again..and both mumble some words and David stops them.
"Her name was Rose..."
They look at eachother, and Seth smiles. "That's actually very sweet,"
"We'll think about it!" Summer said and blows him an air kiss.
"But that wasn't her real name"
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"So when the baby reaches five or six pounds..."Joan stops midsentence when she notices Seth and Summer's faces. "What? Why are you smiling?"
"The way you say 'the baby'..." Summer said and Seth continues for her.
"'The baby'. So, as to not give away any gender information..."
Joan smiles proudly at herself. "Well, I do this a lot,"
"Well you can stop doing it with us..." Seth said as he rubs Summer's back.
"I can?" Joan questions.
"Yeah..we know it's a boy,"
"You do?"
"Seth saw a penis,"
"I'm sorry?" Joan asked.
"The other day, when you were doing the thing..." He motions at his stomach, and pretends to do an ultra sound.
"The ultra sound..." Summer says for him.
"I didn't mean too...But there was a space between my fingers and I looked and there it was..."
Joan opens up her file and starts looking through it. "And you saw a penis..."
"Yes I did..."
"Big penis spotter are ya?" Joan smiles at them, then takes out the picture from the ultra sound. "Show me,"
"Seriously?"
"Show me,"
"Aww look at our baby," Summer cooes.
"Healthy?" Seth asks.
"Very,"
"It won't always be transparent will it?"
"No," Joan says smiling.
"Right there," Seth points to a spot on the picture and Summer frowns, as does Joan.
"There?"
"I'm sorry..." He points to it again. "There,"
"You sure?" Joan asked.
"Yeah, look right there. 1...2..3, 4, 5. 5 penis's...boy look out for this kid." Seth takes the picture out of Summer's hand to get a better look.
"It's a foot isn't it?" Summer ask's.
"Hand,"
"He didn't see a penis..." She said hitting Seth on the shoulder.
"Hand,"
"Is it possible...that his hand is on his penis?" Seth asked hopefully.
"Hand, Hand...nothing but a hand."
"You can't tell by this picture..but a few days ago,this kid was happy to see somebody..."
"So it's a girl?" Summer said knowing it had to be a girl if there was no penis.
"Nope," Joan said.
"It's a boy..."
"Nope,"
"Is it an owl? Seriously, tell me, I won't be mad," Seth said and Summer smiled at him.
"Do you really wanna know?" Joan asked the couple.
"Actually you know I-" Summer began but Seth cut her off.
"No, No, No. Last time you didn't want to find out and I did, and you steam rolled me. So now this time I get to pick, I'm calling the shots and I say no. We don't want to find out."
"Well If you're sure..." Summer faked being dissapointed because she was happy that he wanted to wait also.
"Ok..Ok.."
"Alright then, let's weigh you and take your blood pressure." Joan and Seth helped Summer off the table and they walked out of the room while Seth stood there holding the ultra sound picture examining it.
"That's a penis..."
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