A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I love to hear you're feedback.
5 years earlier
Nick ran through the doors of Desert Palm Hospital, leaving them swinging in his wake. Running to the front desk, he tapped on the desk hurriedly, getting the attention of the nurse behind it.
"Can you please tell me where Sara Sidle is?" Nick asked desperately. The nurse looked at him calmly and quickly typed Sara's named into the computer.
"She's on level 4," the nurse told him. "Room 7b."
Without even a thank you, Nick sped off, using the stairs rather than the elevator, taking 2 stairs at a time. As he reached the 4th floor, he skidded to a halt outside room 7b, and pushed the door open.
A very pregnant Sara lay on the bed, puffing and panting, as a nurse dabbed away sweat on her forehead. Nick dashed over to her.
"Sara!" He breathed out. He grabbed the swab off the nurse and continued to wipe the sweat from her forehead. She let out a whimper of pain, and he leant forward and pressed his lips to hers.
"You're not meant to be in labor," Nick said dumbly. Sara let out a nervous laugh.
"You think I don't know that?"
Nick looked desperately at the nurse who was still in the room. "Will she be okay?"
The nurse smiled at both of them. "It's only a week early. They'll both be fine."
Relieved, but not completely at ease, Nick turned back to Sara.
"I tried to get here as soon as I could," he told her apologetically. "The strip was grid locked."
She smiled at him, and laced her fingers with his. "At least you're here now," she said. Suddenly, another contraction rocked her body, and her eyes squeezed shut in the pain, holding onto Nick's hand for support.
After it had past, she let out another smaller whimper. "God this hurts. I want out."
Nick let out a laugh, and pressed his lips to her knuckles. "You're doing great."
"Yes you are," the nurse added. Nick was slightly annoyed that she was still there, but realized that she had to be. Sara's early labor required special attention, especially since it was her first child.
"You're about 7 cm," the nurse continued, and Sara let out a groan, causing the nurse to laugh. "Don't you worry," she said. "When you hold that baby in your arms, you'll forget all about the pain."
As the nurse exited the room, Sara muttered after her. "You wanna make a bet?"
She let out another moan. "This is all your fault, Nick!"
He sent her a wry look. "Oh, really?"
She let out a huff. "If it wasn't got you, I wouldn't… " she gestured to her stomach. Nick let out a laugh.
"I take full responsibility."
She let out a small smile.
Nick continued to stroke Sara's hand. "Have we come to a decision with names?"
Over the last couple of months, they had flipped through the big book of baby names they had purchased. Not knowing the sex of the baby, they had bounced around names for both genders, but still hadn't decided on one name.
"Jacob and Holly," Sara said. Nick smiled, before throwing in his own suggestions.
"Shannon and Claire."
Sara let out a huff. "If we have a boy, we are NOT calling him Shannon!"
"And why not?" Nick asked. She looked at him as though he had sprouted another head.
"It's a girls name," she complained. "They'll call him a girl!"
Nick didn't bother to point out the name was unisex. She was irrational. She'd been irrational all the way through her pregnancy. Although he loved the healthy glow she had obtained and the way a certain part of her anatomy had gotten larger, he couldn't wait to get the old Sara back.
"Well I hope we can agree by the time it comes out," Sara hissed, as another contraction rocked her body. He squeezed her hand, and when it finished, she let out a long sigh.
"I don't want it to be named John or Jane Doe!"
She shouldn't have worried. 3 hours later Sara gave birth to a little girl, and as Nick watched them clean the tiny infant up, the name came to him. They had considered it early on, but had dismissed it. He didn't even know why now. The name was beautiful, just like his tiny daughter.
"Emily," he breathed out. An exhausted Sara blinked at him, before she broke into a tired smile.
"Emily," she agreed, and after a moment, she added, "Emily Shannon."
Nick leant forward, pressing his lips to Sara's. "I'm so proud of you," he whispered, as a few tears fell from his eyes. "You have no idea how proud of you I am."
She smiled into his kiss, and as they broke away, the nurse handed Sara Emily.
She was perfect.
Just like Sara.
Sara began to stroke her daughter's face softly, and Nick pressed his lips to Sara's hair, finally asking the question he had wanted to ask for months.
"Marry me."
She began to smile, and her voice quivered as she answered. "Yes."
He'd fallen asleep in Emily's room, Sara spooned against him. But as he awoke, he found himself alone, the space Sara had occupied now cold. He felt an odd sense of loss.
He needed to be with her.
Standing up, he quickly left Emily's room. The house was dark, but he could make out Sara, curled up on the couch. He made his way over to her. She was awake, and he sat besides her, running his hand over her side.
"Baby?" he whispered softly. Her eyes were open and glassy, and were still swollen from crying. He leant down, brushing his lips over her forehead. She let out a sob, tearing Nick's already crushed heart even more apart. God, he needed to be strong for her. She didn't need him falling apart.
He turned to look at her face, and saw a lone tear slipping down her face. He pulled her up, and wrapped his arms around her.
"It's gonna be okay," he assured her. Although he didn't know who he was trying to assure more, Sara or himself.
She shook against him, and Nick tried desperately to keep himself together.
"Shhh," he soothed, rubbing his hands over her back. "It's going to be okay," he repeated.
Suddenly, she placed her hands on his chest, and pushed him away.
"What are you basing that on?"
Nick just starred at her. "Sweetie…"
She shook her head, wiping her tears away.
"Are you basing it on the same knowledge you based Emily's recovery on? Because she wasn't okay, Nick!"
Her words cut through him like a knife. Her words, so full of hurt, sliced his heart. All he wanted was to make her feel better. To reassure her that, although things seemed bad now, everything would work out in the end.
He reached for her again, desperate for her touch. He was just as hurt as she was. Why was she being so harsh?
She didn't want any of it. She stood up and walked away from him, over to the kitchen counter.
He stood up and followed her.
"Just go away," she mumbled to him. He stopped in his tracks.
"Sara…" his voice choked. She turned to face him, tears streaming down her face.
"This is all your fault," she cried. Nick just starred at her, and opened his mouth.
"Why didn't you pick her up in time?" Sara asked angrily. "I asked you to pick her up, and you were late! And now she's dead!"
Nick started to shake. He already knew this, he already blamed himself. Why did she have to do this to him?
"It wasn't my fault I was late!" Nick said, his anger getting the better of him. "You know it wasn't my fault!"
"It was your fault!" Sara screamed, her hands balled into fists at her sides. Suddenly, Nick was yelling too.
"I know it was, okay," he yelled. "I already know it was my fault. And I've been blaming myself every single second of every single fucking day since she went missing! I KNOW it's my fault! I know!"
He was violently shaking now. Every single emotion he had been holding back since Emily had gone missing was unleashed.
Suddenly, Sara crumbled to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.
"It's not your fault," she whimpered. But Nick just ignored her, picking his keys up from the kitchen bench.
"Where are you going?" she sobbed. Nick just shook his head, making his way to the door. As he pulled it open, he heard her cry after him.
"Don't leave me!"
He slammed the door closed, and made his way to his car. He leant against the door, furiously wiping his tears away from his face. Half of him was glad that Sara was releasing her emotions. The other half of him was angry with her for blaming him.
But he couldn't blame her for blaming him.
Sara was right once again.
It was his fault.
TBC... Please review!