"Today was a perfectly good waste of makeup."
-a keychain
Okay people, lets get right to the insanity! After I give a humongous thank you to all of my lovely reviewers! Be forewarned for this chapter, Shri-san doesn't like Gym Class that much…
Mokuba's Official Glomper
Aw…THAT'S SO SWEET! It makes me really happy, both with the forum, and the nice words. Have you started any fics yet? Never mind, I'll look on your bio…
Anyway, hip hip hooray! Chapter Seven! AND YES, YOU GUESSED CORRECTLY! BWA HA HA HA! Oh, the horrors that are to ensure! Yes, Asuka is the Seto-look-alike, and so is Shou the cute little kid with blue hair who is only three inches tall.
CONGRATS FOR BEING THE FIRST REVIEWER! You're prize is…I don't know, nice air? THANK YOU! Hope you enjoy our most favorite, friendship-obsessed Seto-look-alike yet!
Bilbo-sama
Hey, I love them already! Yes, Chronos/Crowler is quite cool, and he never ceases to amuse me. My little brother really likes him too, calling him 'Girly Man', a title that usually belongs to Alister.
And the future ones sound great! Something tells me that I'm really going to like Zane. He's like Seto 2.0. I can still see him wearing a trench coat (he's practically wearing one already…). RUN! FAN GIRL IN THE MAKING!
Uh, anyway, nope, not first this time, but close, really close, I think. Oh, by the way, Chumly's Dad makes beer or something instead of hot sauce, right? Who ever heard of duel monster's getting all drunk and dizzy from hot sauce?
ANYWAY! Thanks as always for touching in again! Hope TRIFOD updates soon! Enjoy the chapter!
Princess Mika of the Shadows, Saz, and Yami
You still haven't gotten around to stealing Jesse McCartny's soul? I have…
Okay, anyway, I actually went through .hack one at Borders, and it really did look okay. I like drawing creepy fantasy stuff, so I guess that's why. THANK YOU AGAIN FOR LETTING ME PRINT LEO'S UBBER COOL LETTERS!
Aw…I missed Shonen-Ai day too. Poor Bob, he must be so disappointed…and good news! I think the Goth Girl will pop up again sometime in the story. She's just way too cool of a character to throw away.
I constantly try to sing along to the Japanese theme song of Yu-Gi-Oh (the only one I have is the 'Noah's Arch' saga. It fun) and I always fail miserably. I can do 'OH, OH, OH' 'I ride white' and 'So-oul' (which are all in English), but that's pretty much all that I know by heart.
BAKA MANGA MARKET! They just want to be mean to Australians! No wonder Valon turned into what he is today…
ALRIGHT! Thanks for the review guys! ENJOY THE INSANITY!
An Angel In Tears (Formally known as Mizz-Serenity-Wheeler)
Yeah, YB's Mother has been working overtime lately, what with her son trying to take over the world and all. Sorry, no more Howl jokes, I promise…
Everyone claims that Yugi just uses a lot of hair gel in his hair, so I was like 'hm…what would be something funnier?', and concrete popped up. Stainless steal was a close second.
WATCH OUT FOR PURSUADERS! Thank you for the fun-o-matic review! I hope you like this chapter too!
Peter Kim
Maybe there might be a way to squeeze Noah into the story, but Anubis and Gozi might be a bit of a push. I'm having my hands full with all the others already. But I'll see what I can do.
Hope you like this chapter! And thanks for reviewing for the first time! Hope you keep reading!
Anmarie Miriel
Shou and proper English, they really don't go well together.
Double S himself can be a scary person, but I'm sure that would only add to the horror.
If you thought that a homicidal librarian was funny, just wait until you meed Dr. Crumpy MD (a couple chapters down the road).
I'm glad you noticed that. The 'Red Dog' concept, just like 'Bunny Bashers', is something that somehow finds its way into many of my fics. I'm glad you liked the YB/Marik fight too.
THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEW! HOPE YOU LIKE THE UPCOMING CHAPPIE!
Kiwigirl89
It actually makes me kind of happy to see people watching Yu-Gi-Oh GX. It makes it a lot easier to connect with the characters that way. SHOU IS ADDORIBLE! And so is Zane. STILL! And actually, you're idea inspired me to bring in Dr. Crowler! So now…HE'S COMING! Thank you for the neat idea!
Thank you for the review again! I'm glad you keep coming back for more!
ShadowFire2
YES SHADOWFIRE! YOU'RE FAVORITE CHARACTER IS BACK! BWA HA HA HA HA HA-
I actually did cackle evilly to myself when I read your review O.o it even creeped me out…
You know, I think that would be a fun idea if the two got together. It has potential, it really does…
Wow, boy do I wish I was in class that day. Cosplaying historical figures may be much more random and fun than meets the eye. But then again, with all the creepy stuff in history, I can see things getting out of control.
BEHOLD! AN UPDATE! Thank you for the review and…try to put up with you know who.
Lefthandedfreak, Josh the Figment Man, and Danny the Dolphin, and the Pegasus Plushie
HI AGAIN GAN!
Ah, running over pedestrians. I'm saving that for driving class! Remember The Driver's Education Fic of SCAR33 D00M? Well…on the road, I would probably resemble Joey the most.
NOT THE POPSICLE STICKS!
I think the curse exists too. And as for the nuns…I wouldn't do much better. I would probably make Mom retell the horror story of how one of the nuns threw a kid down the stairs when she was in Catholic School…
OH WELL! There's a special spot on cloud nine for fan fiction writers, I'm sure of it! Especially the random kind…ANYWAY! Thank you as ever for the kind, thoughtful, yet tastefully insane review! APRICOTS! Enjoy!
LeDiva
Oh my poor little Ryo, why must he suffer? (hugs Ryo Plushie)
ANYWAY! I'm glad you liked all the stuff in the story! As long as there are homicidal librarians, as long as there are kids with odd hairdos, and as long as there are people who wonder just what happens when you cross two shiny gold things, Shri-san will be there!
"Write like the wind". I JUST LOVE THAT LINE! Thank you as always LeDiva!
Gothangelmyu
YOU'RE RIGHT! Congrats Gothangelmyu!
I always wonder what Yu-Gi-Oh character's moms are like. It's just a cool thing to wonder.
I'm sure we've all had a point in our lives when we have to stand in front of a room with all of our classmates and…have absolutely no clue what to say. And true, even fictional characters make us feel better when we can relate to them.
Thankies for reviewing! ENJOY THE CHAPPIE GOTHANGELMYU!
LoneFlyinTigers
They tend to take all the cool parts out of the Anime for reasons I have yet to understand.
I'm glad people are feeling sorry for Odion. I feel sorry for the poor guy too. I mean, I don't think many people could put up with Marik for incredibly long periods of time…
I'm sure if snapped off and hurled really fast, Yugi's hair could be used as a lethal weapon. And that goes double for Tristans.
Okay, thanks for reviewing again LFT! It's great to hear from you! ENJOY!
Pointe Master
The virus that blows up computers and it's purpose shall be revealed! And poor YB indeed, though I do not envy his mom one little bit.
Thanks again Point Master! HENJOY!
Chapter Seven
WELCOME TO GYM CLASS, MAY WE VIOLENTLY SLAUTHGETER YOU?
In which we discover a kinky vacuum cleaner thing.
"WHAT KIND OF RA FORSAKEN HOLE IS THIS?" asked Marik in disgust, standing outside of a huge, stony, freezing cold gymnasium.
"This is physical education Marik," said Odion. "This is where the state combats childhood obesity by making kids destroy each other's emotional health."
"SWEET!" yelled Marik. "Can I destroy someone's emotional health Odion?"
"How else do you expect to pass?" asked Odion. "Now we'll just head off to the changing room-"
"CHANGING ROOM?" asked Marik in horror. "You mean we have to strip! IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE?"
"Well, they have bathroom stalls if you're paranoid…" said Odion.
"That's sick! I LOVE IT!" yelled Marik. "Odion, I think this is going to be the best class I've ever been in!"
"Be careful what you say Marik," said Odion. "Remember two weeks ago when you got that really bad cut on your elbow?"
Wavy Flashback Effects
"WOW! YOU SAY THAT MY ARM ACTUALLY FOAMS WHEN YOU PUT IT ON, AND IT'S ACTUALLY ALL THE GERMS THAT I GET TO SEE DIE?" Marik asked excitedly while he and Odion sat in the bathroom.
"Yes…" said Odion, pulling out a bottle of rubbing alcohol from the medicine cabinet.
"SWEET!" Marik cried excitedly, rolling up his sleeve over the bathtub, revealing a cut he got from falling off his motorcycle while trying to ride it up a garbage truck, causing it to explode (both the garbage truck and the motorcycle). "POUR IT ON! POUR IT ON!"
Back to Reality Effects
"Looking back, I think I would have preferred the infection…" said Marik.
"Whatever, just get changed, and try not to get laughed at," said Odion.
---ooo---
"No…" the teacher gasped in horror, trying to get himself as far away from this creature as he could. "You can't…YOU CAN'T BE REAL!"
"HOORAY! A new best friend!" cried the evil one. Yes…something this insane, this random, and this silly can only be…SETA! MUA HA HA!
For those lucky souls who have never laid eyes on this horror, pray that it stays that way. How does one describe Seta? Well, Seta is, in the most broad, basic terms, a physical manifestation of Seto's feminine side…we think. That means that while she's tall, thin, and has blue eyes (that are really big) and brown hair with a super awesome hair point, not to mention it's even at the same length as Seto's, Seta wears a midriff baring strapped shirt with a turquoise stripe at the bottom, a short, pleated, creamy pink skirt, and pink boots that go up to her thighs, as well as toting some sort of small but dangerous weapon, usually a revolver, in her 'Hello Kitty' holster.
As for her personality…Seta has been described as 'clincally insane, has a bigger 'friendship' problem than the English dubbed Tea, and is prone to stabbing people and having no recollection of it'. Evil, no?
"Will you be my friend?" asked Seta sweetly.
"NO! STAY BACK DEAMON! STAY BAAAAAAAAAACK!" screamed the teacher.
"I'm Seta!" said Seta happily. "I like bunnies, walks in the park, drawing unicorns, and various Animes!"
"I SAID DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!" yelled the teacher, pulling out a cross from his desk, holding it out in front of him to try to ward her off. "ADVANCE AT YOUR OWN RISK!"
"Can I hug you?" Seta asked.
That did it. The teacher screamed at the top of his lungs, and dove through a window that somehow remained unbroken from chapter six, and fell down three stories to the hard concrete ground.
"Aw man! He jumped out the window like all the others!" said Seta sadly. "Now who's going to be my new best friend?"
A couple tears welled up in her eyes.
"OH WELL!" she said, skipping off. "I'll just go find new best friends somewhere else!"
With that, she happily skipped out of the room. Ladies and gentlemen…the ultimate evil…
---ooo---
This was not a good day for Seto. So far, he'd fallen in love with a crazy red haired girl who's name he didn't know, he got beaten up by his own experiment in artificial intelligence, he was in so much pain he couldn't properly laugh at Joey's pathetic oral report, in the mad rush to get out of Global History, he had lost the robot who had just beaten him up, and this was only the end of first period. What the heck was he going to do?
Seto just slowly walked down the halls, feeling very dejected, not to mention wishing beyond all human power that it wasn't Gym Class today. As if this whole scene wasn't as terribly melodramatic enough, Bianca was now bouncing down the hallway in search or a laptop computer. And as fate would have it, not only was Seto the only nerd in the hallay, but he was also the only person who was carrying a laptop in that hallway as well.
"EXCUSE ME!" she said in her usual way-to-enthusiastic voice, grabbing a poor, innocent bystander of a student and slamming him face first into a wall of locker rooms at eighty seven miles per hour, and bounced over to Seto. "Can I borrow your laptop pleasy weasy?"
Seto really could have said many things right now. Like 'hello' or 'sure' or 'certainly, maybe I'll see you again at lunch' or even 'my god you've turned me into a raving fool please go out with me or I will probably find the closest really tall building, climb to the top, and jump'. But anything, and I mean anything, could have been better than-
"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh…um, eh, well…uh…heh, um…
There was a really awkward silence for a second.
"I AAAAAM SOOOOOOOOOOREEEE, I DO NOOOT SPEAK KOREAAAAAAN!" said Bianca in a very loud, and slow voice. "I'M JUST GO-ING TO TAAAAAKE YOUR LAP-TOOOP AND GIIIIVE IT BACK LAAAATEEEER!"
With that, Bianca just snatched the laptop case that Seto always carried around, and bounced down the hallway back to the library. Seto then just stood there silently, watching until she disappeared as she turned a corner, took a deep breath, and-
"I HATE MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!" he screamed to the heavens.
---ooo---
"You know…this really isn't what I'd expect a place of information of resurrections of evil to look like," said Double S, as our two cuddly heroes found themselves in front of a pink door with hand drawn pictures of kitties tapped all over it that look like they were made by a band of first graders.
"It's probably for cloaking reasons," said ASV.
"It still kind of stands out in itself though, doesn't it?" asked Double S, because not many other rooms were covered in hand drawn pictures of kitties on a pink door.
"That being said, if it gives us the information we need, we need to take the-" ASV started.
"WHAT IF IT'S A CLEVER DISGUISE FOR SOME OTHER HIDEOUS BEAST WHO'LL LEAP OUT AND KILL US IN A VIOLENT, BLOODY SLAUGHTER?" cried Double S in fright.
"You really do have issues, don't you?" asked ASV.
"MAYBE!" said Double S.
"Nothings going to jump out at us!" said ASV, pulling open the door. "Don't be redi-"
Unfortunately, he was very, very wrong. For the second he opened the door 2.78 centimeters, three men dressed up in khaki white pants, red and yellow stripped t-shirts, and white top hats jumped out right in front of them, and with a huge 'BUM BUM BUM BUM' in the background, a happy tune played in the background, and the three men began to sing.
HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY
WE'RE HAPPY ALL THE TIME!
WE WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!
WAHEDODEEDEDHATEHAHAHA!
"MEDIC!" cried Double S, who had fallen backwards on the ground with shock, and was now going through an odd combination of unpleasant surprise and cardiac arrest.
"Uh…" said ASV, who was not exactly completely recovered from the shock of having three random men jump out at a closet and sing at you. "Uh…I'm…"
"ARE YOU HAPPY?" the three weird men asked simultaneously.
"Uh, well now that you mention it, after having being shocked so bad that a whole year of my life expectancy just fluttered out the window and nearly having my eardrums explode by having some trio of random people singing in my face…no…" said ASV.
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY,
WE'RE HAPPY ALL THE TIME!
WE WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!
WAHEDODEEDEDHATEHAHAHA!
"Yes, yes, yes, all of that," said ASV, becoming quite annoyed by these clearly afflicted persons of the crippling social disease which can only be called…motivational tenor singing.
"Please don't make them sing again…" said Double S, struggling to his feet.
"Look, we not here to be motivated," said ASV, as Double S quickly scampered behind him, fearing what these random and incoherent singers could do, which could be a lot of nasty things now that you look at it. "We want some information on the whereabouts of a supreme and ultimate evil said to resurrect…"
INFO, INFORMATION,
WE BLABBER ALL THE TIME!
WE LIKE TO SNITCH ON PEOPLE!
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!
WAHEDODEEDEDHATEHAHAHA!
"Look, you really need to stop that!" said ASV.
STOPING STOPING STOPING,
WE STOP STUFF ALL THE TIME!
NOW WHAT IS A GOOD SENTENCE?
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!
WAHEDODEEDEDHATEHAHAHA!
"This really is pointless, isn't it?" asked Double S.
POINTLESS, POINTLESS, POINTLESS
THERE'S NO PURPOSE AT ALL!
WE'RE ALL JUST DUST IN THE WIND!
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!
WAHEDODEEDEDHATEHAHAHA!
"That wasn't motivational!" said Double S.
"You try making your own BEEPing stanzas you little brat!" said the singers in a simultaneous and cheerful voice.
"THAT WASN'T EITHER!" Double S said, with tears in his eyes, while ASV just sighed ad wondered what it would be like if he just said no to conscience training school.
"Never mind, let's just go," said ASV, dragging a sobbing Double S along with him. Unfortunately, the happy chorus followed them at an even pace, walking in unison, all with extremely sickening smiles on their faces.
"Why are you following us?" ASV asked in a hallow tone.
"WE WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE HAPPY!" said the chorus simultaneously again.
"I'd be really happy if you left us alone," said ASV.
"WE CAN'T BE TOO SURE!" they said again.
"Do you people have the ability to read each other's minds or something?" asked Double S.
"WHAT MINDS?" asked the chorus.
"Ah, that explains it," said ASV.
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY,
WE'RE HAPPY ALL THE TIME!
Etcetera, etcetera…
"Maybe we can get Shou or Mobster to blow them up or something…" said ASV.
---ooo---
"ALRIGHT YOU WHIMPY GIRLY MEN!" yelled the Gym Teacher, who really brings out the meaning of the proverb 'If you can't, teach'. He was a bit overweight, claiming that it was well developed abdominal muscles (no one believed him), a huge chin, dark, mean little eyes, and a little silver whistle that was hanging from his neck. "TODAY, WE'RE GOING TO BE PLAYING…HOMICIDAL DODGE BALL EXTREME! And none of this pansy boy 'protective equipment' crap! YOU BOYS ARE GOING TO BE BUILDING SOME CHARACTER! GOT THAT! If you bruise…you FAIL! If you get hit, you SHALL BE BEATEN UP BY SOMEONE OF MY CHOOSING, THEN FAIL! If you cry, then you shall be BEATEN UP BY SOMEONE OF MY CHOOSING, PUBLICLY EXECUTED , THEN FAIL! Do you hear me?"
"Yes sir…" everyone in the gym room said in a monotone.
"GOOD!" said the Gym Teacher. "And I have taken the liberty of replacing these sissy 'European Hand Balls' with some good, solid SHOTPUT BALLS!
Everyone groaned.
"SHUT UP!" said the teacher. "Before we start the massacre, I would like welcome back personally an old student of mine, and a bloody good one at that…LITTLE BOBBY BILL!"
Suddenly, there was a horrific, stomping sound from the hallway, getting even more louder as it approached the gym, and then, a huge, muscular man in a black muscle shirt, camo pants, huge, Extra-Painful-when-stepped-on-your-feet Doc Martins, a shaved head covered in a black bandana, exactly twenty one body piercings (three on the left ear, two on the nose, four on the right ear, six on the lip, two on the left eybrow, and four more in spots that are far more unpleasant to describe), and a really mean, snarl looking frown.
Everyone gasped and chattered in horror.
"What's the matter? He's just a street punk," said Marik.
"You don't understand Egyptian Person!" said Yugi. "He's the most violent and dangerous person to ever be in a physical education class! Everyone's afraid of Little Bobby Bill! Even Kaiba!"
"No I'm not," Seto said, but that's when he was grabbed by the throat by Little Bobby Bill and thrown at the concrete beam in the doorway at seventy miles per hour, creating a huge indent in the beam.
"Yes…I am…" he managed to mutter.
"Oh dear," said Marik in horror.
"AND ALSO, I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE THREE NEW STUDENTS IN THIS CLASS!" said the gym teacher. "PLEASE BEAT ESPECIALLY HARD TODAY…VALON, RAPHAEL, AND ALICE!"
"ALISTER!" yelled Alister angrily, as all the Doom Bikers walked into the room wearing gym uniforms. It only took a few minutes for all the horrors of Gym Class to successfully unfold…
---ooo---
"NII-SAAAAAN!" yelled Azusa, tearing out a huge water fountain from the floor, causing the water pipe to break and spurt water all over the place. "WHERE ARE YOU NII-SAN? I…I can't find you anywhere…"
You see, even though Azusa is an experiment in artificial intelligence, she has to have a very loose, bottom line programming to gain information from the outside world and then use it to her core modules individual preferences. However, since that usually takes a long time, the loose programming also serves double purpose to try to give her a basic idea of how to act while she learns. And one of them is to stick closely by a trusted 'friend's' side (i.e. Seto) for both safety and practical purposes (except when she's ignored, in that case, she would proceed to beat said friend up). Cool huh?
"Nii-saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan…" sobbed the poor little robot, sinking to the ground. "Where are you? You could be sad or hurt or lonely (A/N Clearly, she doesn't know Seto that well). What am I going to do? I don't know who to turn to…"
"Yay! A potential best friend!" said Seta, nimbly bounding down the hallway to our robotic friend's side, and we can slowly see the story line begin to write itself. "Hi! My name's Seta! Will you be my friend please?"
And now, the irony of the fact that Azusa has discovered a friend that looks just like her previous friend begins to kick in, not to mention has only one letter off from her previous friend's name.
"Okay…" she said, as she was helped to her feet by the deranged Seto look-alike.
"YAY! THIS IS GOING TO BE SO AWESOME!" said Seta. "So why were you crying?"
"Well, I'm an experiment in artificial intelligence, and I have to stay by the side of a trusted friend at all times, and one of them was my Nii-san, but then he ignored me, and now I have this huge gape in my memory…but anyway, he's gone!" explained Azusa.
"What does he look like?" asked Seta cheerfully.
"You…actually…" said Azusa.
"YAY! A BRAND NEW FRIEND!" said Seta happily. "LET'SGOFINDHIMLET'SGOFINDHIMLET'SGOFINDHIMLET'S-"
"OKAY!" said Azusa, as the two happily skipped down the halls to find Seto.
---ooo---
"HEY TISH! I GOT THE LAPTOP!" yelled Bianca at the top of her lungs as she ran excitedly into the library, carrying Seto's stolen laptop, right past the librarian, who was trying to knock herself out with sleeping pills in a last, desperate attempt not to hack of the head of a girl who was cracking her gum.
"Good job Bee," said Tish, who was promptly examining the remains of the computer that exploded only minutes ago. "Where'd you get it from?"
"Some weird Korean Kid with pretty eyes, no body fat, and a weird hairdo," said Bianca.
"Ah, I see," said Tish, taking the laptop out of Bianca's hands, as she continued to bounce around, ranting about fruit. Tish sniffed in disgust at the sight of Seto's 'Cardcaptor's Sakura' desktop, and hooked a few cables into the now available power outlets and phone jacks the previous computer was hooked into, as well as a couple in a neighboring computer. She began typing earnestly into it.
"Hey Tish, did anyone come earlier to try to get on the computer?" asked Bianca.
"A couple of girly men, actually," said Tish. "But I shoed them away. They're probably steeling a laptop as we speak. Said something about 'the time has come' and 'I shall claim my rightful place in the family at last' and 'can I borrow your hair curlers' and whatnot."
"I LIKE PIE!" said Bianca.
---ooo---
"Okay Zigfried, this is it!" said Dartz, as they were both plopped down in the hallway, eagerly typing stuff into a laptop they stole from some nerd that was wandering around.
"Ah yez," said Zigfried. "I truzt we are going to play my favorite game?"
"Internet Candyland?" asked Dartz, as they both sat in front of the screen of the online site with 'CANDYLAND' in huge, pink letters. "Of course. But I must warn you, I have been training forever high upon a cloud laden mountain, where the winds do rip across the good earth, and the ants do pick up yummy crumbs that sometimes drop as I skip through the fields wearing nothing but a tutu and-"
"Jah, jah, whatever," said Ziggy, waving his empty threats away. "I hope you know that I train day and night at this game, honing my skills while curling my hair and dying it this ridiculously artificial shade of pink-"
"JUST START ALREADY!" said Dartz, pointing angrily at the screen.
"Vatevah," said Zigfried, clicking go, and automatically, a Dartz and Zigfried Chibi appeared on the screen on the go space, and a cute little voice from the computer said 'IT'S ZIGFRIED'S TURN!"
"Right," said Zigfried, drawing a card that had two purple on it. With that, the Zigfried Chibi hopped all the way to that particular square. "You're turn Dartzy…"
---ooo---
"The evil one's just resurrected, I can feel it," said Asuka, gripping her head in terror as Shou and Mobster both looked at her. "This is very much not a good thing…"
"How do you know for sure?" asked Mobster.
"I can sense it…" said Asuka chillingly. "Shou, fetch me…my Executioner's Axe."
"You're what?" asked Shou, a bemused tone in his voice.
"My Executioner's Axe!" said Asuka. "You know, the most dangerous weapon that our team has ever created, with the destructive capability of a thousand nuclear bombs in a single, hand-held unit?"
"Oh, the kinky vacuum cleaner thing?" asked Shou. "OH YEAH! I…uh…"
Wavy Flashback Effects
"Man, am I starving!" said Shou, sitting at the corner of a street, carrying a weapon of destruction that looked oddly like a portable 'Dirt Devil' vacuum cleaner with the nozzle attached to the suction end of it. "I would do anything for a candy bar right now!"
"Dude, I'll trade you this Sniker's Bar for your vacuum cleaner," said some overweight fifteen-year-old boy with a baseball cap, who was holding a Snicker's candy bar.
"SWEET!" said Shou, handing it over, and snatching the chocolate bar out of his hands.
Back to Reality Effects
"…lost it?" said Shou, last weeks headline 'House Explodes, Reason Still Unclear' making perfect sense.
"Well you better find it Shou," said Asuka in a critical tone. "You know what happens to any operatives who let one of HQ's Class-A Restricted Weapons slip into the wrong hands of the untrained…"
"Given a slap on the rear, told not to be naughty, but otherwise let off?" said Shou hopefully.
"Immediate expulsion…and death," said Asuka.
Awkward silence.
"SCUSE ME!" said Shou, grabbing Mobster by the back of the collar and dragging her rather quickly around a corner out of Asuka's hearing range, slamming her against the wall, and started to scream gabbly gook incoherently like a moron.
"MAVLADKADIERWRARAUDOODADWRA-" he babbled senselessly, making wild hand gestures, hopping around, and then eventually looking rather drained, panting in horror at everything he just said…if you could call it that.
Mobster stood pensively for a bit, trying to absorb all the random babble.
"You say you lied to Asuka about losing a highly dangerous, relatively untested weapon that was an ultimate privilege to receive and sold it away to some random teenager for a candy bar, causing you to stare down the face of sure expulsion slash death?" Mobster reflected.
"Uh…huh…" Shou managed to gasp.
"SWEET! Is there any left?" asked Mobster.
"MOBSTER!" Shou half screamed, half begged.
"Okay, okay, I'll help," said Mobster. "So what did this executioner whatsit look like?"
"A kinky vacuum cleaner thing," said Shou.
"What a stroke of luck!" said Mobster, pulling out a mini Dirt Devil Vacuum. "Ever since I nearly got slaughtered by a man eating heard of dust bunnies, I always carry a portable vacuum cleaner around to make sure their filthy hides ever brush against my skin again!"
"And I thought I was nuts!" Shou said sweetly, pulling out a black sharpie and crossing out 'Dirt Devil', quickly squeaking in 'Ezcatushunor's Ex'.
---ooo---
Fun with awful spelling!
Okay, I don't own Dirt Devils or Candyland. Honestly. Really. Not kidding.
IMPORTANT ANOUNCEMENT: And another thing. After this I plan to do another fic staring the four loonies from 'The Wizard of Cuz'. I've narrowed it down to either a Harry Potter Parody or a Kindergarten fic. Yes, I know both are hideously overplayed, BUT STILL! PICK YOUR POISON PEOPLE! Tell me whatcha want in your next review or something ASAP!
Next time, see what happens when two Seto look-alikes collide, an all out dodgeball war is fueled, and a visit from Uncle Maxie! OH THE HORRORS!
See you next time!