Sweet dreams are made of this. Who had a mind to disagree?
Well, I've officially lost all confidence in my drawing skills. You see, Monday in art class, I was drawing my own little cool OC Manga character, and I was all like 'la la la la la, this is so much fun…' and then, the sub snuck up behind me and asked 'Is that Yu-Gi-Oh?'. My hair stood up on end. No, it was NOT. It was my OWN character, and she said 'well, they all look the same to me', and so I had to go into the back room and sob for awhile. Now I'm too scared to pick it up and finish it off (though in confession, my art style is a little like stylized Yu-Gi-Oh, but STILL -.O;;;)
ONWARD!
Chapter Thirteen
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
In which an unseen,terrifying army of Seto fan-basedterror begins to surface
"Marik, there is no way that you can possibly get through this alive," said Odion. "When you agreed to pose as a girl, I thought things were bad enough, but challenging one to a tournament to the death? That is…just plain wrong…"
"COME ON ODION!" said Marik. "What could possibly happen? I am a kick butt dude, and I can beat any wussy schoolgirl, big, small, or medium sized!"
"I think your brain cell just died," said Odion. "Whatever, I looked up everything online, and there are five things the competition is judged on; strength, dexterity, intelligence, stamina, and overall appeal."
"Well, I've got the last one down Odion!" said Marik. "Because as you know, I am DROP DEAD GORGEOUS!"
"Uh huh…well, you're as weak as a daisy, you have the reflexes of a rock, you've had just short of one original thought, and you start crying whenever you bump your elbow. The fact is, even if you were 'drop dead gorgeous', you'd still be far from the black," said Odion.
"Look Odion, the fact still remains that I am up against a wussy school girl, and I shall dominate this competition no matter what! So WOOT!" said Marik.
"Famous last words," said Odion.
---ooo---
"Where are you taking us?" said Dartz angrily, being carried with Ziggy and Pegasus in a huge, floating, magical blue ball that had little bolts of electricity coursing through the edges of it, which followed the lead of our favorite humanoid, Ka'aewu.
"Do you know why we forest whisperers live an incredibly long time?" asked Ka'aewu.
"Diet and exercise?" asked Dartz.
"Emotional empowerment?" asked Peggy.
"Lying about your age a lot?" asked Ziggy.
"Haha-no," said Ka'aewu. "You see my good men, forest whisperer's years and vast powers are fed from the most divine pool of power…sanity."
"What?" said Ziggy.
"You see, we forest whispers are a two way traffic system for sanity," said Ka'aewu. "It gives us life and strength, and it causes us to grow in power and youthful beauty. But like any kind of food, we must constantly feed to replenish ourselves, or else we shall wither and die, for our bodies burn up sanity incredibly fast."
"Wait…you FEED off SANITY?" asked Dartz.
"Exactly," said Ka'aewu, coming up to a curtain of sweeping leaves in the center of the forest. With one graceful swirl, he pulled back the curtain, revealing the inner workings of the chambers of insanity.
There, in hundreds of cages, in two huge rows, with a pathway of silvery-green stones between them, hundreds of people of all shapes and sizes muttered and groaned, begging and screaming for mercy to be set free from the horror of what awaited them, as they slowly watched their futures unfolded, one filled with the impending doom of becoming completely and utterly insane.
"Ah yes, let's first see how much sanity you all have," said Ka'aewu, pulling out what looked like a tuning fork, and pointed it right at the bubble. The fork, at being pointed at them, began to hum softly.
"Huh," said Ka'aewu. "According to my dial, in total, you all have less than seven square grams of sanity. I'm afraid this just won't fill my quota for the day."
"With that, he walked up slowly to another prisoner in the cage, a middle agedm slowly graying man, and with that, gripped one of the bars. With that, silvery threads seemed to erupt from his chest,a nd the slowly floated right to Ka'aewu's throat.
"Ah, said Ka'aewu softly to himself, as the man in the cage fell backward, starting to sing 'I'm Just a Girl who Can't Say No'. "Sanity. Such a lovely thing. Now then, I need more people to compensate for your loss of sanity. But who exactly do I need?"
He shook his head.
"That doesn't matter now," he said. "Okay, get into your cages!"
"What?" asked Ziggy, and with that, the bubble floated around to three empty cages that were scattered across the two rows, and for some reason, Dartz suddenly fazed through it, and landed with a sharp 'thunk' on the bottom of one. After picking himself up, he read the sign that labeled the cage.
"'Fubuki'?" Dartz asked.
"He escaped," said Ka'aewu. "Shame, I was fond of him. The only thing was, he was pretty far in the desanifying process."
"You won't get away with this!" said Dartz, as Ziggy and Peggy were dropped off in similar cages.
"Oh, but I already have," said Ka'aewu. "Now then, you have minions, yes?"
"If I say yes, will you let me out of here?" said Dartz.
"…I might," said Ka'aewu.
"Yes," said Dartz.
"Uh…nope, I lied," said Ka'aewu. "Now then, I shall go off and find these minions, and drain their sanity as well!"
"Ha, good luck, you might as try to suck some out of a tree," said Dartz.
"Then in that case, I will just have drain your sanity until your so insane, they may become a contestant on 'Survivor'," said Ka'aewu coolly.
"BUT IT'S WORTH A SHOT!" said Dartz frantically.
"I'm sure it is," said Ka'aewu. "Wait here little meat puppets. I'll be back soon…"
With that he glided away behind the curtain, off to find Alister, Raffy, and Valon.
---ooo---
"So your saying that You and Shou switched older brothers?" said Ryou quietly, as a bunch of elementary schoolers who had recess were throwing dodge balls at his back.
"Yeah, long story," said Asuka, watching the grade schoolers continue to wail on Ryou. "Um, doesn't that kind of hurt?"
"I figure if I ignore them, they'll go away eventually," said Ryou. "Besides, it's against my principles to beat up young children."
"You realize that their loading up hand made slings with rocks now, right?" said Asuka.
"Don't care," said Ryou.
"Uh…" said Asuka. "Anyway, I suppose that while this is a dramatic, almost mind-altering change in Shou's life, it's not a big deal for us, because we're in the same dorm, and we always hang out together anyway, right?"
"Actually, no," said Ryou. "You see, the Marufuji family is infamously traditional, and whenever anyone new enters the family, sibling, marriage, or otherwise, you have to pass through the initiation ceremony."
"Initiation ceremony?" said Asuka, as one kid got created and chucked an entire piece of sidewalk concrete at the back of Ryou's head.
"Really, I'm against it, but the older generations though, what can you do?" said Ryou, somehow managing to fight of devastating head trauma and not collapsing from a moderate concussion.
"Can't we just do this on a casual level, since it's only temporary anyway?" asked Asuka.
"Sorry," said Ryou. "Rules are rules."
"You know, you're so sane, you're insane," said Asuka.
---ooo---
"I don't want to get it out, you get it out."
"Nuh uh, you first!"
"Ew! No way am I touching that!"
"They look like spaghetti…"
These were just a few of the many repulsive reactions of students as they had to partake in the most sick, deviant, and vile source of project to satisfy the curriculum of the state…dissecting worms. Nothing could turn one's stomach more to see the sight of dead, disgusting, floating worms in a vat of formaldehyde, because due to massive budget cuts, the school was forced to use the less 'trade mark' of dead animal supporters.
"And welcome to the first match of the Marika vs Tea fight to the death," said one of two male commentators speaking calmly into microphones like the ones on the golf channel do, except the speaker was wearing normal business casual clothes, and the other one was wearing a pink dress with a lovely matching handbag, well polished pink high healed, square toed shoes, and white gloves. "I am Bob, and this is Bob, and it is an absolutely splendid day for a glorified cat fight. Don't you agree Bob?"
"Certainly Bob," said Bob II. "As you know, the challenge, as all future challenges, shall be based on strength, dexterity, intelligence, stamina, and overall appeal. Our three judges shall be Joey Wheeler, a friend of Tea's, the Knowledge Inspector, who is a friend of Marika, and a person who hates both of them, Jimu."
"I HATE EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD!" screamed Jimu, kicking a kid in a very uncomfortable place as he walked by.
"Can I borrow some of your mascara Bob?" asked Bob I.
"No problem Bob," said Bob II, snapping open his handbag. "Now the object of this round shall be to correctly and skillfully, while appealing to the audience, dissect the worm."
"Alright, no problem!" said Marik, pulling out the tongs used to scoop out the worm from the preserving liquid. "This will be easy! All I need to do is to take this dead worm, and hack it…into…little…bits…"
Suddenly, Marik's eyes began to tear up, a sudden recollection of a distant childhood memory.
Wavy Flashback Effects
"AH! NO! IT'S COMING TO GET MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"For Ra's sake Marik," said a very young Odion to a two-year-old Marik chibi, who was creaming and trying to hide behind Odion. "Everyone has to get toilet trained eventually. Get on the potty."
"I DON'T WANNA GET POTTY TWAINED!" yelled Marik with tears in his eyes, cowering at the sight of the hideous horror that is 'My First Potty' that Odion bought in the underground bazaar. "I HATE DA POOOOOOOOTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!"
"Why couldn't you have just been another girl…" said Odion.
"HATE DA POTTY!" yelled Marik, kicking the wall over and over again. "HATE! HATE! HATE!"
He hit the last 'hate' so hard into the wall, that what fell out of the crack in it was a little, wiggly little pink worm, looking thoroughly disturbed at being knocked out of his dirt home by an idiot.
"YAY!" said Marik, picking up the worm and giving it a hug. "I WILL CALL YOU BEEWZEBUB!"
---ooo---
"Marik, for the last time, eat your spinach," said his dad as he, Marik's older sister Ishizu, Odion, and Marik sat at the dinner table.
"No," said Marik.
"Don't you want to grow big and strong?" asked Marik's dad.
"No," said Marik firmly.
"Do you want to be a brittle little whimp all your life?" asked Marik's dad.
"Yes," said Marik.
"Are you stupid?" asked Marik's dad.
"Yes," said Marik.
"MARIK, EAT YOUR SPINICH, OR I'LL BEAT YOU WITHIN AN INCH OF ODION'S LIFE!" said Marik's dad.
"Uh…suw Daddy…" said Marik, feeding the spinach to Beelzebub, a nice change, considering he usually fed them to Odion.
---ooo---
"Sweet dweams Beewzebub!" said Marik, who lay shivering on the hard, stone floor, while Beelzebub slept happily in his nice, warm bed.
---ooo---
"I WIN AGAIN!" said Marik, winning yet another game of Twister before even having to move his right hand off of yellow, since Beelzebub refused to move.
---ooo---
"For the last time Marik, sit on the potty!" said Odion.
"SICK HIM BOY!" yelled Marik, as the worm leapt on Odion's face, and Odion screamed and ran around in horror, trying to rip the little worm off of it, while Marik loudly 'dumped the load' loudly and stinkily right into his diaper.
---ooo---
"'…Hewe den, as I way down da pen and pwoceed to seaw up my confession, I bwing the life of dat unhappy Henwy Jekyll tawo an end,'" finished Marik, closing up Robert Louis Stevensen's Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and giving Beelzebub a pat on the head. "Tomowwow we getta wead Tweasure Iwand…"
---ooo---
"HEY ISHIZUW!" yelled Marik, now four, at the top of his lungs to his poor sister, who was making dinner in the ancinent underground temple. "HAVE YOU SEEN BEEWZEBUB AROUND?"
"He died eighteen months ago, and we replaced him with a sour gummy worm knowing that you'd never be able to tell the difference," said Ishizu.
Marik looked at the red and yellow gummy worm in his hand, which for years now had been nothing but a façade of his truest, and most faithful invertebrate friend.
"POR QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" he sobbed at the top of his lungs.
"Finally…I'll get the potty…" said Odion a couple of rooms away.
---ooo---
As Tea was fearlessly and boldly beginning to dissect her worms, while the details shall be left out for sentimentality, the lifeless worm lay there on Marik's tray, Marik holding a few dissecting pins in one hand, and a scalpel that hasn't been sterilized since the day it was bought fifty years ago, and would never be again by the day it would be thrown in the trash, in the other. Marik felt tears run down his cheeks, ruining his makeup, the thought that his dear best friend could have ended up just like the massive bunches of worms who are gassed in the names of school-based projects.
"B…Bee…BEELZEBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUB!" Marik sobbed at the top of his lungs, being able to bear it no more, running right out of the room with tears streaming out of his eyes like waterfalls.
"Oh dear, that's going to cost her some style points Bob," said Bob II, as Bob I carefully applied the mascara. "Go easy, too much makes you look uncouth dear…"
"Oh God, not again…" said Odion, slapping his forehead.
"Hey, have you ever wondered why Kaiba never shows up to any classes beyond first period?" asked Ryo to Tristan.
---ooo---
"Kaibalog, November eighth, 10:47," said Seto into a hand-held tape recorder while sitting on the floor in a stall in the men's room. "Drastic changes to schedule due to recent events. Still have no leads as to why I am so smart that teachers give me straight A's despite the fact that I rarely show up in class…"
---ooo---
"Keester Maiba's out again," said Mr. O in front of his grade book, which he also used to take attendance "Oh well, better give him another A+ in the book!"
---ooo---
"But this investigation has been switched to standby due to an important event that has taken place approximately 310 hours ago. I have met probably the the wonderful woman that exists in this hick-town. She's beautiful, and powerful, and strong…she can beat Joey like a cheep rug…she thinks I'm funny…"
Seto laid back in dizzy bliss, but suddenly realizing that he was ranting, quickly shook his head and continued.
"Because of this, I need to find out how the female mind works," he continued into the recorder. "Have previously had two failed attempts. One was buying a Teen Magazine at a newspaper stand. Found no sufficient data, except that I am a winter. Snuck into the library and read every Shouju manga on file. Still nothing about the female mind, though I know have the urge to buy Guru-Guru Pon-Chan two when I have free time. Putting this aside, I am already working on limited data on the girl about her personally. The only thing I know for sure is that her name is-"
Suddenly he stopped, suddenly feeling his body switch to high alert. He was sure he heard something, and he had that awful feeling that someone was listening into this conversation. It could have been nothing more than a groaning pipe, but then again…it wasn't worth the risk…
"The walls have ears," he said into the recorder. "Will continue once I have more analisis. Signing off at 10:49 AM, same date."
He turned off the recorder. He quickly flicked it back on.
"Added note, 10:49 AM," he said. "Must also find Azusa. End side note."
He quickly turned off the recorder, and snuck out of the bathroom to go re-read 'Guru-Guru Pon-Chan'. The bathroom went back to what it originally was. Silent, empty, with a loud boiler banging below it.
BAM!
Suddenly, a foot kicked open the air vent close to the ceiling of the room, and slipping out was a figure dressed totally in black, including a black ski mask. The figure quickly leapt out of the vent, landing catlike on the ground. The figure then slunk over to a particularly ratty piece of tile on the north wall, counting two tiles down and five to the right. With that, the figure dug the nails under her black gloves into the grooves of the tile, pulling it easily out of the wall. With that, the person ripped out yet another recorder, this one very small, thin, and metallic. She quickly slipped it into her pocket, and ripped out a handheld computer/transmitter.
"Red dwarf…yes this is Ebony Crow," said the figure. "I have news of great urgency. Call a meeting as quick as you can with every able-bodied member in the vicinity. This is an issue that threatens the very foundation of our operation…"
---ooo---
Meanwhile, out on the main steps to the school, Azusa was sobbing her poor little eyes out at the top of her lungs, her heart snapped completely in two. Her end user had abandoned her, she had no friends to play with, and worst of all, she couldn't help but feeling ignored. Evidence of this were shown in the destruction of three cars in the teacher's parking lot, and seven cars in the student parking lot, all with huge dent marks in them from various large, heavy objects that have been viciously beaten into them.
"I'm all alone!" sobbed Azusa. "I miss Nii-san and all of his friends, and I miss Seta-san, and now I have no place to go! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Friends?" said Seta, who for some odd reason, was on the roof, the front half of her body hanging down from the top of the roof, giving the impression that she was upside down.
"SETA-NEESAN!" said Azusa happily. "Seta-Neesan, where were you? I missed you so much!"
"I was off making friends!" said Seta happily, leaping off the roof and landing and landing next to Azusa perfectly on the bottoms of her pink, calf-high boots. "See? I made friends with that tree over there-"
She pointed to a tree that looked as if it had all of it's life sucked out of it in one go. It was wilted and an ugly, white-brown sort of color, and its bark seemed to turn into rubber as it leaned sadly on it's side, it's crown touching the ground.
"-that nice rock-"
She pointed to a rock that seemed to have melted, as if it was thrown to the earth's firry core, then pulled back up, and resembled a huge, cooled-over puddle.
"-and that nice man over there!"
"SHE'S BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" yelled the middle aged man in panic, who was wearing a neck brace, as well as a back supporter, and was frantically trying to get away as much as his automatic wheelchair with an IV attached to it would go when pressed on full speed.
"OKAY! BY MR. JOHNSON!" said Seta cheerfully, waving at the poor, struggling man.
"Seta-Neesan, will you play with me?" asked Azusa.
"YAY!" said Seta happily. "Hey, who's that potential best friend?"
Seta pointed to Ka'aewu, who was now cunningly disguised with a school uniform, and was walking into the smaller, side door into the school.
"I don't know," said Asuza. "Maybe he's a new kid! Let's introduce ourselves!"
"NEW BEST FRIEND!" said Seta at the top of her lungs, bounding along the black top and into the side door to the school.
---ooo---
"ORDER! ORDER!" said a girl with red hair and glasses who was wearing a 'S3T0 F0R3V4' T-shirt, banging a gavel behind a huge podium with the label "DUMBARSE" (Domestic Underground Military Base of Attack Ready Seto Enthusiasts) in an underground auditorium, the only remains of a long-lost civilization of super advanced high school, long forgotten by the books of time, back to an era when the advanced civilization of the Mayans, who had flying cars, meat factories, airplanes, cell phones, MP3 players, teleportation beams, and diet soda, got destroyed by mean conquistadors and their various unpleasant medical conditions. The fangirls in the room , all wearing similar T-shirts to that of the girl behind the podium, swayed and trembled in confusion at the sudden call for a meeting.
"This meeting is on a very grave level," said the girl. "I, Red Dwarf, leader of this prestigious group have the terrible news we've been dreading…SETO KAIBA HAS FALLEN IN LOVE!"
"YAY!" yelled all the girl hopefully.
"WITH A PERSON WHO'S NOT A MEMBER OF THIS SOCIETY!" yelled Red Dwarf.
The entire room was dissolved in a vicious uproar from all the girls in the audience. They were in a fury, and in what seemed like no more than a millisecond, the girls of the club's outcry quickly grew to that of sheer anger, and also, a call for revenge.
"DUB HER!" screamed one.
"MAKE HER SIT IN AN UNCOMFORTABLE CHAIR AND VICIOUSLY TICKLE HER!" cried another.
"WRITE UNKIND THINGS ABOUT HER IN THE FORUMS!" yelled another.
"Way ahead of you!" said a girl, whipping out her laptop.
"No calm down, calm down!" said Red Dwarf into the microphone, but it was no use against the moderate riot that was brewing in the crowd.
"SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!"
Everyone went quiet. The screech came from the figure wearing nothing black. She was both feared and revered among the populace, for she was a dancer in the shadows, the one who could hunt down anyone who the fangirls felt was a thread to the natural order of fangirl and the characters they fangirl over. Her victims were many. All of the girl in the crowd fell silent.
"Thank you," said Red Dwarf. "Ebony Crow has stolen valuable information stating a key clue in the identity of this girl. She is…a new girl!"
Another outcry from the group.
"SILENCE!" said Red Dwarf. "I have a plan, but in order to do this, we will need cooperation from all of you. Saphire! As secretary, send an e-mail to every Seto fan base in a nine-mile perimeter explaining the situation, and have all back-up forces on standby!"
"Yes Ma'am!" said the girl who whipped out her laptop, quickly typing the information into an e-mail.
"I want all of you to stay on high alert, and if you have any new information on who this woman is who defies our order to send an e-mail straight to our center ASAP," said Red Dwarf. "Black Crow, I am trusting you to lead a band of our strongest operatives to hunt down the new girl and exterminate her!"
"As you wish…" said Black Crow, bowing respectively to the head.
"Your only orders are to hunt down every new girl in this school you can find," said Red Dwarf. "We cannot risk failure. If you see any girl that can be identified, you know what to do. And you yourself must tail Seto wherever he goes. If you see one girl even halfway look at him…don't hesitate to destroy her…"
---ooo---
Well…they're creepy aren't they?
Next time, Valon vs Math, the fangirls find a target, and worst of all…MARIK ONCE AGAIN CONSULTS THE TV FOR ADVICE! What horrors shall come next? Stay tuned to the next chapter!