Finding Help

A/N: Slight twist, kind of funny, kind of short. Don't own Artemis Fowl

They had to meet somewhere. Haven was out, it wasn't much of a haven any more. The only other place to go was Fowl Manor. Thank goodness, Mrs. and Mr. Fowl are out, Butler thought as they went into the first floor conference room.

"Okay, so none of us have any idea of what's going on, right?" Mulch said.

"None and the only people that could help us are completely indisposed," Butler said.

Holly clenched her teeth. A horrible thought came into her mind. She didn't believe she was about to say it. "Not everyone is incapable of helping."

Mulch and Butler turned to face the elf. "WHAT?!" both cried simultaneously.

Said fairy gulped. "If I tell you, you won't like it."

Butler huffed. "I have to do everything in my power to protect Artemis, even if it means asking Donald Trump for help." His eyes were vicious. Donald Trump was indeed a scary man, but what she had in mind was worse.

"Umm, I'm not game for asking that man for help, especially since the last time we met, he sent dogs after me," Mulch shot out. Butler and Holly rolled their eyes.

"Start talking elf or I'll force it out of you," Butler growled to Holly.

The ex-LEP officer sweat dropped. Even after what Butler said on Donald Trump, there was no clue on how he would take this. "Well, the only person who can beat Opal Koboi, is her."

She let this sink in. After the two minutes passed that it took the two males to register it, Holly plugged her ears. "ARE YOU RECOMMENDING WE BUST THE REAL OPAL KOBOI OUT OF PRISON! No way, no how!"

Butler's face was turning red. His outburst was completely understandable, since that was a farfetched suggestion. Mulch, however, seemed to think about it.

Slowly as if he was chewing the words (it wasn't like he had anything else to chew on), he said, "Think about it, Giant Man. It's the only way to ensure the runt's safety. As you said, you have to protect Arty."

The Manservant's eyes narrowed on the dwarf, who was currently searching through the refrigerator for the fifteenth time since they entered the room.

"I told you, you wouldn't like it," Holly said meekly. Then as an afterthought, she added, "And I'm not suggesting we break her out. All I'm saying is, we ask her if she knows what's going on."

Butler, whose patience was completely gone said, vehemently, "Oh, and she's just going to tell us?"

Holly shrugged. "The hard part would be getting to see her. From there, I think she'll spill."

"And, what are you planning to offer her in return?" Butler said.

"Ten years off her original sentence," Holly said.

"WHAT?!" Mulch and Butler cried. The elf laughed.

"Eternity minus ten is still eternity."

---

At the "Correctional Facility for Mentally Screwed Up Fairies," Holly, Mulch, and Butler went through about eighty-five different security systems before being cleared to see Opal.

She was sitting on her bed, obviously in a bad mood. Holly flicked the bars and Opal only grunted in response.

"We've got a proposition for you."

This got a bigger reaction.

"What kind?"

"Tell us how to beat your clone. You've obviously heard of the incident by now."

"And if I do tell...?" Opal was trying and failing to keep excitement from creeping into her voice.

"Ten years off your sentence, and three boxes of truffles," Holly bargained.

"Twenty years and five boxes, or no deal."

Butler, Mulch, Holly glanced at each other before Holly gave in. "Fine, now spill."

Opal hesitated. "Well, if I was out of this hellhole, I would attack Police Plaza head on. All you've got to do is blow it up once she thinks she's won."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"No strings attached?"

"I want my truffles."

---

The three beings walked out of the prison, feeling slightly better, and slightly worse.

"Are we really planning to blow up Police Plaza?" Butler asked, but Holly was determined. She was going to give this Opal clone a piece of her mind...by turning her into pieces.

A/N: Short, I know, but hey, I updated! The next chapter will indeed be the last. It might be a while before I update. I have come to hate this story, but I WILL finish it!