Cool! My eye is twitching!

I think I know what my next fic's going to be…but you'd all kill me if I told you.

We're going to take an extremely short break from the (cough) storyline (cough) to take a look at the poor, poor little characters who were promised main parts…and got shoved over by a bunch of other characters who virtually popped out of nowhere. Heh.

So for the first time, all the 'lost' characters, ones that somehow got lost in the sick, twisted, 'oh-my-god-you-added-another-character-what-the-heck-is-wrong-with-you' storyline, are all shoved into their own little episode thing. Yay for them! Welcome to the second to the last part of the 'WE ALL HATE SCHOOL' story arch! But don't get too comfy! We still have a lot of chapters to go!

Chapter Twenty Four

WELCOME TO RANDOMLAND! PREPARE TO CRY FOR YOUR MOMMIES!

In which the three girly men are frequently outsmarted by a five-year-old

"Finally…at last…I have escaped from the clutches of that awful woman…" said Ka'aewu, his fur ruffled in spots where he was hugged too tightly from Seta. "BLAST! I hate being a bloody rabbit! I am so sick of being a rabbit! Why not something cool? Like something that flies? Or something that has venomous fangs that make your body swell up when you get bitten? WHY A BLOODY RABBIT?"

"Technically, you're a hare," said a professor looking person standing next to him, carrying a huge encyclopedia.

"SHUT UP!" yelled Ka'aewu. "The fact is, I will never truly be free again until I am able to give myself a cooler form than a smegging rabbit! But I don't have any access to my magical powers anymore! We must fix this…but how?"

"Random plot twists!" yelled some guy, looking like someone who'd sell hot dogs or penuts between circus acts. "Random plot twists! Get yer random plot twists here!"

"What a stroke of luck!" said Ka'aewu, bouncing over to the guy. "Excuse me my good man, I am interested in a random plot twist."

"Alright we got 'found long lost relative', we got 'sudden illness' we got 'main character death', we got 'hit by something big and heavy', we got-" rambled the guy on and on, shifting through various mallets that were all labeled with the things he said on the tray.

"I was actually thinking something more on the lines of somehow finding a way to regain your true form after changing into a cuddly animal," said Ka'aewu.

"Uh…okay, I think 'Sudden Zapping to Alternative Dimesion' is the one you're wanting," said the sales guy, pulling out a mallet with a huge question mark scribbled on it. "Do you want it gift wrapped?"

"Just hand it over!" yelled Ka'aewu, as the guy held the mallet right over him…and dropped it on his tiny body.

"Random plot twists…get yer random plot twists…" he said, wheeling the cart away, as a little corner of Ka'aewus' cotton tail poked out from the bottom of the head of the hammer.

---ooo---

Girly Man,

What did you get for the answer to question 7?

---Valon

Valon,

WHEN WILL IT EVER MANAGE TO MAKE IT INTO YOUR MINUTE LITTLE SKULL THAT I AM NOT A GIRL, I STILL AM NOT, A GIRL, UNLIKE YOU, AND I WILL NEVER BE ONE?

---Alister

Girly Man,

Probably when you stop wearing a midriff, low rise pants, and get a normal haircut!

---Valon

Stupid Auzie,

YOU'RE REALLY HACKING ME OFF, DO YOU KNOW THAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW TEMPTED I AM TO JUST RIP YOU HEAD OFF, BOTH YOUR LEGS, AND-

"Alister, stop passing Valon death threats," said the teacher, as the paper nearly caught on fire from the friction burn of Alister writing on the paper. "Now then, today we're going to talk about nothing but a fat load of crap. Please take out your notes and coy all of the senseless dribble down."

"Girly man, do you have a spare piece of paper?" asked Valon.

"No," said Alister.

"Not even in that huge notebook that has 'spare pieces of paper' written on it in highlighter?" asked Valon.

"NO! BUG OFF!" said Alister.

"Alister, stop acting like a lady," said Raffy.

"YOU STOP ACTING LIKE A CARD-OBSESSED FANATIC!" said Alister. "I thought it was bad enough that you weightlifted twice your body weight every day. We really should take you to a doctor to test you for mental disorders or something-"

"I CAN QUIT HALUCINATING AND OBESSIVLY EXERCISSING WHENEVER I WANT TO!" said Raphael.

"Hang on…I think I'm getting a text message," said Alister, pulling out his cell phone, and flipping it open to see the screen.

Guys, gotta regroup. Meet me outside school pronto. From Dartz.

"Looks like were actually going to do something," said Alister, as Valon chewed on his own arm. "Finally, I thought I was going to be stuck doing nothing of importance all day."

"WOOT!" yelled Valon. "See ya teach! We're cuttin' class!"

"Have fun," said the teacher dully. "Now we're going to talk about…my marriage life…in grave detail…if you have headphones, I suggest you put them on now."

---ooo---

"I HATE YOU!" yelled Dartz at the top of his lungs.

"I hate you more!" yelled Zigfried.

"I hate you even more than that!" yelled Dartz.

"I love everyone!" said Peggy.

"You can just die!" yelled Dartz. "For cripes sakes, where are my brainwashed drones? I need them to pull through my evil plan to capture the Millenium Puzzle. Which reminds me…WHY HAVEN'T YOU TWO LEFT YET?"

"Becaused Dartzy, we're getting massive amounts of film that we can mail into AFV!" said Ziggy, holding up a tape.

"Yeah, I bet the one where you got your hair caught in the garbage disposal trying to communicate to the underground to the great leviathan is going to score some points!" said Peggy.

"Well hooray, I was so close to actually forgetting about it too," said Dartz. "Thanks guys. THANKS A BLESSED LOAD!"

"What's your plan anyway?" asked Ziggy.

"I was actually just thinking of having Valon hold Yugi down, have Raffy beat him up, and have Alister snatch the puzzle," said Dartz. "I've given up trying to be clever. I'm going for simple and violent."

"Sounds good," said Ziggy.

"Yeah, but then there's the whole issue of getting them to coordinate that well…" said Dartz. "The last time time I tried to get them to play on the same team in Scrabble, the entire board was destroyed, Raffy was treated for having Scrabble tiles imbedded in his forehead, Alister was bound, gagged, and stuffed in a hall closet, and Valon was found ten days later wandering around in his underwear."

"Good help is so hard to find these days…" said Ziggy. "I keep telling that to my six thousand eight hundred forty nine servants."

"I only have an need one servant…and his name…is Croquet…" said Pegasus, his eyes getting big.

(Cut from the US version is a shot of Pegasus and Croquet both wearing dresses and skipping through a field of pretty flowers)

"Just how many issues does Uncle Peggy haf?" asked Ziggy.

---ooo---

"-so then when I was somewhere near Toledo, I found my underwear hanging from a sweets shop!" said Valon.

"Valon, for the last time, none of us want to hear the story about your first date!" yelled Alister. "We are looking for Dartz so-hey, what's that?"

In front of them, there was a great, big, spiraling portal thingy, that seemed to echo with a infernal yet incredibly amusing power, one with the capability to tear a storyline apart.

"What is it?" asked Raffy, just staring at it.

"It's a…it's a…OH YEAH! It's totally a thing!" yelled Valon.

"Well wonderful, I'm glad that's cleared up," said Alister.

Silence.

"So what do we do anyway?" said Raffy.

"We can't go over it, we can't go under it…WE GOTTA GO THROUGH IT!" said Valon.

"Or we could just take another route," said Alister.

"NO! THAT WAY!" said Valon angrily, pointing.

"Valon, we'll get killed if we go that way," said Raffy. "My Mom's name was Ayuma, until she went through a portal…and now her name's BETTY!"

All three gasped in horror.

"That's terrible!" yelled Alister. "What kind of sick and horrible name would they give me?"

Silence.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO OBVIOUS!" yelled Alister.

"Well…let's just ignore it and hope it goes away," said Raffy.

TOO LATE FOOLS! THE PORTAL CRAVES THE SOULS OF THE WORLD OF SANITY, TO TAKE THEM TO A PLACE WHERE THEIR ENTIRE BEINGS SHALL BE TORN APART LIKE STRIPS OF PAPER!

Before either of the three could say another word, the entire room was consumed in light, and with a shriek, the three were dissolved into the most horrible land of all…

---ooo---

"HOW LONG TO THE PLAN TO BE GONE?" yelled Dartz. "Knowing them, they probably mistook 'front of school' for 'obscure battle field in a developing African war-zone' and-"

"Uncle Peggy, how come you have silvery hair when you're only twenty-something?" asked Zigfried. "Come to think of it, how can you be my uncle if we're virtually the same age?"

"Well, let's just say you have a pretty twisted family!" said Pegasus. "My, I think it's just about time for a random plot twist!"

"Excuse me?" asked Dartz.

"That cloud looks like a bunny!" said Pegasus.

"HA! FOOLS!" yelled a voice at their side, as all three 'men' turned around to see a tiny bunny, cackling like a maniac. "You won't find your friends anytime soon…for you see…THEY HAVE FALLEN INTO MY TRAP!"

Gasp!

"A BUNNY!" yelled Pegasus.

"HAVE YOU FORGOTEN WHO I AM ALREADY?" yelled Ka'aewu. "I was so close to completely devouring your sanity…and now I shall have my revenge!"

"What a cute bunny!" Pegasus said.

"YOU IDIOT! I am Ka'aewu! Ka'aewu the Forest Whisperer!" screamed the bunny. "And now, you, ladies, have become my pawns in my plan to obtain all the sanity in the world!"

"Ew! Chess iz for nerdz!" yelled Ziggy.

"I have something very precious of yours…" said Ka'aewu. "And unless you fetch me something veeeeeeery important…bad things will happen to them. FOR THEY ARE YOUR EMPLOYEES!"

"Oh them? You can keep them," said Dartz absentmindedly.

"YES! YES! I-wha?" asked Ka'aewu.

"They aren't that special, whatever you want to do to them, go ahead," said Dartz.

"They have that little value to you?" asked Ka'aewu.

"Um…yeah," said Dartz.

"Then fine!" said Ka'aewu. "If you don't bend to my demands…uh…em…this is awkward…"

"CUTE BUNNY!" yelled Pegasus.

"OH! I've got it!" said Ka'aewu. "You must aide my evil deeds, or I shall do something so terrible that your feeble minds cannot comprehend its horror!"

"Like what?" asked Dartz.

Four Seconds Later

"AH! NO! STOP! TOO HORRIFYING!" yelled Dartz, as he, Pegasus, and Ziggy were cringing in terror at the mercy of Ka'aewu, who had done something so painfully awful and mind bending (i.e. something the author couldn't think up but somehow needed to imply to get the storyline moving) that it couldn't bear to be written down.

"Now fools…you shall help me find the only thing that can return me to human form," said Ka'aewu. "You must find me one of the lost, sacred tomes that are scattered across the land. Unless you want to suffer my wrath again, you must find me Le Tomenia D'einsaniarne."

"The Tome of Insanity…" said Ziggy. "I heard stories of such a tome when I vas but a boy…"

Wavy Flashback Effects

"ALRIGHT ZIGFRIED!" yelled Zigfried's Mom, who had a tiny, pink haired, bubble eyed girly boy on her huge, muscular lap. She seemed to be built like that of an Amazon Woman, with huge, bulging muscles, a square, masculine face, and hair that was pulled back in a wicked tight bun. "I'M GOING TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING I LEARNED FROM MY EDUCATIONAL YEARS IN THE SCHOOL OF ADVANCED GORMET COOKING AND SHOTPUTTING!"

"Ja Mutti," said Ziggy.

"SHUT UP!" screamed his Mom. "Now, NUMBER ONE! NEVER, and I mean NEVER EAT THE FRUIT THAT LOOKS LIKE IT'S MAMA DIDN'T GIVE IT ANY LOVE!"

"Ja Mutti," said Ziggy.

"I SAID SHUT UP PIPSQUEEK!" screamed the…woman? "Now…NUMBER TWO! ALWAYS MAKE SURE NO ONES LOOKING BEFORE YOU PEE IN THE BUSHES! AND I SAID SHUT UP!"

"But I didn't say any-" Ziggy started, before his mom socked him a good one, turning his face into a huge, red, swollen mass.

"AND LAST, BUT BY FAR THE LEAST, IF YOU ARE EVER GOING TO UNLEASH HOLY TERROR AND SCARE THE LIVING GOD OUT OF EVERYONE, USE LE TOMENIA D'EINSANIARNE! IT'S FLIPPIN' CREEPY!"

"Don't hit meeee…" said Ziggy, covering up his already beaten up face.

"SHUT UP WHIMP!" yelled the woman. "NOW WE'RE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT…THE STOCK MARKET!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

---ooo---

"Mutti…" said Ziggy, with tears in his eyes.

"Uh…yeah," said Dartz. "Fine, if you promise not to do that again, we'll help you find this stupid book. Where the heck is it anyway?"

"No one knows the exact location of the tome…" said Ka'aewu, pulling a small, hand-held, ancient looking object with mystical scroll written across it. "However, to aid you on your quest to seek this unholy, ancient relic, I henceforth commission you this!"

"It's an iPod," Dartz said.

"Not just an iPod," sad Ka'aewu. "This iPod was created at the exact same time as Le Tomenia D'einsaniarne. It has the ability to detect mystical impulses…and it can store up to eight thousand minutes. However, be warned. Since this two is a creation of insanity, only the insane can wield it successfully. Like you people have any problems."

"OH! ZEY HAFF HARVEY DANGER!" yelled Ziggy, flipping it on.

"The songs shall grow increasingly bad as you get closer to the tome," said Ka'aewu. "Find the tome and bring it to me, and I promise I shall not do the repulsive thing again…and return your employees, not like you care."

"Hey, where are they anyway?" asked Dartz, as Peggy bugged Ziggy for the iPod.

"They're in a place that has the potential and the capacity to warp their minds forever," said Ka'aewu. "It is a place where people go…but they come back neither with their sense of reason, nor clean undergarments…"

---ooo---

Alister…Alister…the world needs you…get up Alister…if you don't get up…if you don't…if…

"What…are you…Mikey…" asked Alister, his face towards the sky, as his eyes opened, to reveal the sun shining above him. "No…it's not…a lie…"

Alister…

"WHY THE HECK ARE YOU WEARING A BUNNY SUIT?" yelled Raffy, walking up to him, blocking his view of the sun.

"AM-" Alister started, before a flock of birds came out of nowhere, and began to viciously peck his face, as he got up from where he landed, and ran around screaming in all directions.

Where the group of morons had landed was what appeared to be at first sight a scene from a Disney Movie. It was very pretty, with sparkly music being played in the background, as a bunch of bubble eyed cartoon animals, like mice and birds, bobbled around, one particularly large mob of them trying to kill Alister.

"No…we're not in dub-land, are we?" asked Raphael in horror, no one having the heart to tell him that instead of his usual combat boots, he was wearing huge, purple pumps.

"DON'T BE STUPID, STUPID!" yelled a huge, muscular, army looking person behind him, belting him with a soft, pink throw pillow. "YOU'RE IN RANDOMLAND! THE PLACE WHERE NOTHING MAKES SENSE!"

"Except you," said Raffy.

"GOOD POINT!" yelled the commander, who turned into a penguin in a tutu right before Raffy's eyes with a pop, spinning prettily away.

"Uh…" said Raffy.

"HEY RAFFY! CHECK IT OUT!" screamed Valon, who, magically, was no longer a girl, but a greasy, stupid little Auzzie, dragging in what looked like his counterpart from twenty thousand years ago. He was drooling, wearing a loincloth made of leopard skins, and he had a huge club with a nail in him. "I found a puppy!"

"He's utterly repulsive," said Raffy, as Alister ran by again screaming as the little cartoon birds continued to claw at his face, and the primitive Valon began to pick through Valon's hair for bugs, causing Valon to giggle insanely.

"Yeah…it's too bad we're lost and alone in a strange dimension with no way home, no resources, and no clue on how the laws of physics operate on this plane of reality!" said Valon. "BUT THAT'S OKAY! I'VE GOT A SHINY ROCK!"

"What?" yelled Alister, as all the birds suddenly died simultaneously, falling on the ground like limp, little, feathery rocks. "There's no way out? WE'RE STUCK HERE!"

"Looks like," said Raffy, as Alister tried to pull off his bunny suit, revealing a black, one-piece, girl's swimsuit underneath. "I told you to leave the portal alone!"

"We did leave it alone! It sucked us in!" yelled Alister, pulling of the bathing suit to reveal a spacesuit.

"AH HA! I THINK I'LL NAME YOU KEVIN!" yelled Valon happily, as the Neanderthal Valon beat him repeatedly with his huge club.

"Hey big boy," said a tall, extremely attractive woman, carrying a silver platter over to Valon, who was still getting beaten up by the newly dubbed 'Kevin'with a single, pink frosted little cupcake on it. "Wanna cupcake?"

"DON'T VALON! IT'S A TRAP!" yelled Raffy.

"HE'S ONE THE GRAND PRIZE!" screamed a game show voice from somewhere. "Daphnia, show him what it is!"

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

PAM!

Raffy was then sent to the ground by our favorite insane red-head, catipaulting out of the sky, and landing right on top of Raffy.

"FINALLY! I FOUND A PINEAPPLE!" she screamed on top of poor Raffy's beaten up body, as the pineapple suddenly sprouted wings and flew away. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Ow…" said Raffy.

"Who the heck are you?" said Alister, as all the outfits that he took off lay in droopy piles on all sides of him, including a newly added poncho, flippers, a cowboy outfit, and a cocktail dress.

"I'm Bianca, and all my friends say my best quality is that I tend to shut up when I'm asleep!" said Bianca, as all the dead birds suddenly turned into pineapples. "AWESOME! THERE'S SOME MORE OF THEM!"

"Wait, hang on," said Raffy, as Bianca rushed over to the pinapples, stuffing several in her shirt for safekeeping. "What are you doing here?"

"Something went bloop-bloop," said Bianca, stuffing a pineapple in her mouth.

"That's specific," said Raffy, as an anvil landed on his head.

"Hello everyone," said Valon, suddenly walking up to the group wearing a blazer and a monocle, sipping a cup of tea. "Simply smashing day for a cuppa, wot?"

"Eh?" said Alister, now wearing nothing but boxers.

"DID YOU SAY PINEAPPLES?" asked Valon, suddenly back to normal in his usual outfit.

"Oh, well if you wanna go home or whatever, Random Town's that way!" said Bianca, pointing down the road.

"Good," said Raffy, who threw off the anvil, which was thankfully made of Styrofoam. "Now we can-"

BAM!

He got crushed by another one…made of iron.

---ooo---

"You know, this is the stupidest thing we've done yet," said Dartz, as he and the other two just walked right down the road from the school. "Stupid rabbit. Stupid iPod. Stupid morons."

"WAIT! It's switched to Tom Jones!" cried Pegasus. "We're on the right trail…"

---ooo---

Next time…MORE RANDOMNESS! And lets see if the idiot three can possibly handle the new owner of Le Tomenia D'einsaniarne! See ya!