Here we go again…
YAY! Wow, the whole 'Lost Character' thing took a long time! But the chapter's were really easy to write.
Sorry folks, yet again we have another late update. Acutally, this time, it was just schedule crunch time as to why I showed up late...so yeah. However, I hope you find that this chapter was worth the wait, and now that everything has died down, it should be smooth sailing update wise from now on.
Now we're back to the story! Here we go!
Chapter Twenty Seven
DUBBER SMACKDOWN
In which Yuki calls upon the power of an unspeakable horror
"Now is the time to strike…" said the dark lord of the Pencil Fanatical Dubbers, as light from the setting suns streamed through the glass domed window above his head, as he hissed orders to two minions who kneeled before his mantled chair. "The Red Dog Computer Virus has their systems weakened…the robots run rampart across their schools ground…the fangirls have done us a service by putting many a good agent out of commission…"
"We eagerly await your command my lord…" said one of the dubbers. "We wish…to make stupid…to make stereotypical…to make lame…"
"Then my children, your wish will soon come true," said the lord. "However, there is one target I wish for you to take down first…the one who set loose the demon of insanity upon our school…the one who hindered the progress of the fangirls…I wish for you to take down the one who's blind stupidity could destroy everything we've worked for…"
"Who is this threat to normalcy, my lord?" asked the second dubber.
"Send your troops to dub everyone in sight," said the commander. "But take him down first so that we may harness his power…take down Marik Ishtar…"
---ooo---
"Okay Odion…this is our last shot…" said Marik, tears welling up in his eyes. "Either we steel the puzzle this period…or we go home in tears…"
"Actually, I'm kind of glad that it's going to be all over soon," said Odion.
"SHUT UP!" yelled Marik. "Now then…"
Silence.
"I STILL DON'T HAVE ANY IDEAS!" yelled Marik, tears spilling out of his eyes. "WE'VE TRIED EVERYTHING! BLOODY EVERYTHING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? I'M SPAZZING OUT DUDE, I'M TOTALLY SPAZZING OUT!"
Pretty much everyone in the hallway was watching as Marik was having a modified temper tantrum, pounding his fists on the floor, and spinning around angrily on it, screaming at the top of his lungs in pure frustration.
"Alright…just let it out…just let it all out…" said Odion, pulling out a tape recorder and recording Marik's moments that will surly result in future humiliation on distribution.
"Oh gods!" yelled Marik pathetically. "Ishizu was right! Why oh why oh why didn't I just listen to what she said to me ten long years ago?"
---ooo---
"FOR GODS SAKE MARIK, WHEN IT COMES TO COLD MEDICINE, LESS IS MORE!" shrieked Ishizu, as a six-year-old Marik ran around on the roof without his pants on with finger paint splattered all over his body.
---ooo---
"Oh wait…hang on…" said Marik, stopping his temper tantrum temporarily to go into deep thought. "Maybe it was…"
---ooo---
"OH MY GOD! IS THAT MY SKIRT?" yelled Ishizu in horror, as Marik was trying on her pleated skirt, until she accidentally walked in.
---ooo---
"Wait, no, that's not it either," said Marik. "Wow, and I had almost completely forgot about that too…"
"Your talking about the whole 'skirt thing' aren't you?" asked Odion.
"NO! Wait, it was…"
---ooo---
"Look Marik, if your going to do something stupid, just bang your head against the wall," said Ishizu flatly to a little Marik. "It'll save me the trouble of dragging your sorry behind back home."
---ooo---
"OF COURSE!" yelled Marik. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!"
With that, Marik got up off the floor, and with a deranged look on his face, he ran headlong into a wall, laughing like a little maniac, until his skull completely flattened in contact with a side wall, sending a part of the ceiling crashing down to the floor.
"Okay…once again Marik, your ability to sustain self afflicted wounds in a bizarre manner astounds me," said Odion flatly.
However, the second he said it, a huge, celestrial sounding chorus began to sing in Latin in the background, accompanied by Muse singing 'The End of the World'. The masses of the crowd suddenly stood still, as if everyone in all entirety was holding their breath in horror. All the students turned to see where the commotion was coming from. Somewhere in the fray, there was the scream that had the power to move nations of students in horror and fear…
"DUBBERS!"
And that's when all chaos broke loose.
At the nameless cry, the students who were normally supposed to be heading to all of their last-period before the weekend classes suddenly worked themselves in what was the equivalent of a human wall that slammed it's way down the hallway, with ultimate disregard to anyone who was trampled underfoot in the madness around them. Everyone's goal was to run faster and get farther ahead of the person behind them.
From behind this massive wall of the blue and pink of the Domino High uniforms that charged down the hallway, there was another cloud, this one bright red, attacking any students who were just a little too slow.
"FOOLISH MORTALS!" screamed one of the dubbers, as one of the recently zapped girls giggled in an extremely high pitched voice and began ranting on how badly she could duel and how cool her friends were. "YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE HORROR OF DUBBING! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE! YOU WILL ALL BE NAMED IN VERY STUPID AND DIFFICULT TO SPELL YET EASY TO SAY ENGLISH NAMES, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! THE HODOKOSHIS SHALL BECOME JOSEPHINAS! THE KATSUYAS WILL BE JOEYS! THE SHIKOTOS WILL BE SAMANTHAS!"
"What?" asked Marik, managing to dig his head out of the wall.
"Oh Christmas…" Odion said, grabbing Marik and running full speed down the hallway along with the crowd.
---ooo---
"Oh God…" said Asoka, after she and Shou had managed to make it safely out of the room, hiding behind a corner of wall as students sprayed by in a massive furry. "This is what we've been hoping wouldn't happen Shou…dubbers…"
"What are we going to do?" asked Shou. "We're only two agents fighting against them! And our only help got arrested! We're severely outnumbered and outmatched!"
"Maybe so, maybe not," said Asuka. "If there's one thing I know about dubbers is that their shallow minded and have no originality. So we've just got to be on top of them!"
"Yeah, it's not like they're going to swarm the entire city or anything!" said Shou.
"AND YOUR CITY SHALL FALL TOO!" screamed someone in the background. "We apologize for being predictable. HA! PSYCH!"
"They're merciless…" said Shou darkly.
"Yep," said Asuka. "Oh Jeez. Jeez and a half. We've got to stop this as soon as possible. Dubbers spread fast, and their worse the farther they go from their starting point."
"But why are they doing this?" asked Shou. "Why here? Why now? Is this just a random attack? Or is there some serious method or plan behind all of this? I mean let's face it, this is a pretty unlikely place where they'd want to dub."
"On the contrary, with scrawny males, patheticness, and a very low amount of collected intelligence, this place is ideal," said Asuka. "Still...dubbers never strike without a plan. It'll be stupid, it'll be one-sided, it'll have no connection to normal thought process, but they'll always have a plan."
"So what do we do?" asked Shou.
"Find the source," said Alexis.
"Will that be hard?" asked Shou.
"Depends how easy you define fighting through massive walls of men who want to turn us all into daisy skippers with silly, high-pitched voices," said Asuka.
Silence.
---ooo---
"I cannot return to my mistress in failure…" said Ebony Crow in her ninja outfit, kneeling in front of the life sized poster of Seto in her locker, so deep in thought that she was completely ignoring the screams of paniced students as they ran by in fear. "I have failed my organization…my life's calling…this…is the end…"
For a moment, she just stared at the photo with tears streaming down from her eyes, soaking into her ninja mask, completely ignoring the fact that one kid was being stopped by one of the dubbers by his underwear before getting dubbed by a Dubstick 309, causing him to giggle like a girl and skip off.
"Forgive me…" she said, reaching into her locker, and pulling out a hand-held object wrapped in deep, red cloth, tied together by a thick cord. With slow but firm duty, she gave the chord a gentle tug, causing it to slip away from it's central knot. The cloth then collapsed on her lap, revealing it's contents.
It was a hand-held dubber, and while not as powerful as the full-fledged dub sticks, they were made for quick, easy dubs with little fuss. She closed her eyes in an attempt to stop the tears of self-loathing to continue to drip down her face.
"You showed me I was okay…" she said, picking up the hand-dubber in her hand. "You took me from that life…my life of nothing but boredom and isolation…they all called me an outcast simply because I didn't believe what they did…I thought I was a mistake…I thought I was God's mistake…"
Her eyes were deep and clear now, staring once again at that picture on her locker, as a bunch of girls skipped down the hall wearing sundresses and giggling about boys.
"I wanted to serve your cause…but not even your kindness can hide the truth…" said Ebony Crow, placing the hand dubber up to her head. "Not even you could erase my worthless self. I must face the punishment for failure…I could never hand this dubber to you…you'd be too kind to dub me…to watch me suffer…but I must…this is my punishment…"
There was an arming click.
"Red Dwarf…" she said.
She closed her eyes in peace, getting ready to dub herself before they could, but in the corner of the room behind her.
"Yeah, they want to dub some guy named 'Marik' first."
"Why the heck?"
"Search me. Since when has the great lord of dubbers ever made sense."
"True. He's a loony. A cool loony…with excellent dress sense…and a lovely speaking voice…but a loony."
"Ow…my pants…"
"Anyway, he said that after we bring this 'Marik' whatever to him, we can have all the fun and dub the main characters!"
"YEAH! I WANNA TURN TEA INTO A FRIENDSHIP WITCH!"
"And I want to get my hands on Joey Wheeler and whatshisname…oh yeah, Kaiba…"
Her eyes snapped open at that name. She stared forward for a moment, that name echoing in her head.
"Perhaps…my life still has…just enough purpose…" she said, letting the dubber drop from her head. "Yes. I can't let this go. My punishment can wait. I must perform…my last duty…"
---ooo---
"Alright…so it's all or nothing I see," said Tish, panting with exhaustion on the roof, as were a bunch of fangirls who had the bitter-sweet task of having to take her down. "Can't you just…give up…what's the point of…doing this?"
"Look sleezegirl," said one of the fangirls. "We know the great Seto Kaiba is in love with you, and he belongs to all of us! The one's who have been admiring him from afar for years! There's no way we'll just lay down and let you take him from us!"
"So you need group therapy! Hooray for you!" said Tish.
"ENOUGH OF YOUR TALK!" screamed one of the fangirls. "IT'S TIME TO DIE YOU-"
"ANE-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"
With that, a fangirl was completely whacked in the back by a huge door that was ripped off it's hinges, sending her flying off the roof and down three solid stories. As she did, the perpetrator was revealed…a homicidal female robot.
"Ane-san, you were so mean to me!" said Azusa-chan, with tears in her eyes. "Why didn't you want to help me find Nii-san and Seta-nee? You d-didn't even listen to what I had to-"
"Hey, outta the way robot!" yelled one girl to her.
"RUDE SEMPAIS!" yelled Azusa, swinging around the door and knocking another one off the roof, causing it to loop around and then knock the last one off, as they both screamed and fell down below.
"Wow...thank you very much," said Tish. "I was in a tricky situation but…thank you!"
"Your welcome!" chirped Azusa. "NOW HELP ME FIND NII-SAN OR I'LL HIT YOU ANE-SAN!"
"Wait, hang on," said Tish. "Who is this…Nii-san?"
"FREEZE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS!" screamed one of the dubbers, slamming open the door to the roof, holding a dub-o-matic in the faces of the two.
---ooo---
"THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND, ROUND AND ROUND, ROUND AND ROUND, THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO-"
"Sing one more verse of that song and I'll blow you up!" yelled Tohru, as she, Fubuki, and the rest of the gang sat at the back of a bus, heading off to Domino High School.
"ANY REQUESTS?" asked Fubuki to pretty much everyone else on the bus, which mostly consisted of people who were giving them all increasingly dirty looks, some toying with their cell phones with the intention of calling the police.
"How about 'The Silence Song'?" asked Kyo sarchastically.
"SILENCE SONG! SILENCE SONG! LA LA LA LA LA!" screamed Fubuki, at a much louder and much more annoying octave, reaching into his back. "LETS SEE WITH SILENCE IN THE THE-SAU-RUS! QUIET, STILLNESS, PEACE, HUSH, NOISELESS, CALM, SOFT, TRANQUIL, SERENE-"
"SHUT UP!" screamed everyone.
"I don't know that one!" said Fubuki. "Oh well! Improvise, improvise! MARY HAD A LIT-TLE LA-"
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!
With a horrible sound of a huge bus's tires screeching on hard pavement, all of the gang were thrown forward by the inertia into the seats in front of them, a frantic scream sounding from within the bus as all the lights went out.
"ATTENTION ALL ANIME CHARACTERS!" screamed a voice from outside the bus that came from a megaphone. "PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND FILE QUIETLY OUT OF THE BUS! THIS IS A DUBBER RAID!"
"Dubber raid!" cried ASV. "OH NO! The dubbers! They must have escaped!"
"HOLD ME!" screamed Double S.
"Dubbers…blast…" said Tohru. "This will be difficult…they are the ones that make or break an anime…our futures are in their hands…"
"What are we going to do?" asked Double S.
"We must remember one thing beyond all else," said ASV.
"Don't test the unholy power of the garbage disposal?" asked Fubuki.
"…no," said ASV. "Dubbers are only human, like the rest of us. Which means they have both our strengths and our weaknesses. We know them well…they know us well…it's a fair fight."
"So all we have to do is find something that could easily take us down, and use it to take them down!" said Kisa.
"I'VE GOT IT!" screamed Yuki. With a heave, he got up and climbed up the back of one of the bus seats, balancing himself on the top, as he began to unlatch the emergency exit on the roof.
"Yuki, what are you doing?" asked Kisa.
"I'm going to summon a power that has been coursing through this land," said Yuki, managing to pop open the emergency exit. "It's dangerous, temporary, and incredibly unstable…I only have the power to collect pulses of it's power in the area and group it in one, single attack…it'll probably kill me if I let it…"
"What!" asked Double S.
"I summon forth the power…OF 'KINGDOM HEARTS II' FANS!" screamed Yuki, raising a hand toward the sky.
"Oh no!" screamed Kisa. "NOT THE FANGIRLS AND FANBOYS!"
But it was too late. The instant Yuki did, from the distance, they heard the sound of a massive, stampeding army charging from the west. The dubbers, who were pointing the dub-o-matics in the direction of the bus, turned in horror to face the screams of the rabid gamers who were running full speed toward them.
"FINALLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YEARS!"
"MULAN'S IN THIS ONE!"
"SORA'S GOT THE BEST VOICE ACTOR EVER!"
"NAM-I-NE! NAM-I-NE!"
"WE LOVE YOU RIKU!"
"HOLY GOD, RABID KINGDOM HEARTS FANS!" screamed one of the dubbers. "Our dubbing power is useless in the face of them!"
"RETREAT!" screamed another.
They dropped down their arms, screaming like little girls, and turning around full heal to get away from the rabid fans, who washed over the bus like a tidal wave, causing it to rock back and forth, threatening to tip over.
"YUKI! STOP! THEY'LL DESTROY THE BUS!" yelled Tohru, as a Kairi plushie got smashed through the window.
"I can't!" yelled Yuki. "Once the gaming fans have been summoned, their power must run full course before they stop!"
"WE'RE GONNA DIE!" screamed Double S.
"WOOT!" screamed Fubuki. "I love a parade!"
---ooo---
"Of all the places to hide…we decide to hide here…" said Tea angrily.
"SHUT UP! They'll hear us Tea!" said Joey, as the four found themselves once again squeezed into the same closet that they had gotten locked in previously. However, as you remember, it was also the same closet Seto got locked into, therefore the door got torn off it's hinges by Azusa when she went on a wild rampage. So basically…it became a worthless hiding spot.
"Jee, and the next thing your going to ask is for me to suck it in so much that I turn invisible, right?" asked Tea.
"Whoa, you can do that?" asked Tristan.
"No Tristan, if I could, believe me, I would have escaped this friendship long before now," said Tea.
"I wanna go home…" said Yugi, with tears bubbling up in his eyes.
"AW, SUCK IT UP YUGI!" said Joey, slapping Yugi on the back. "COME ON! BE A MAN!"
"I DON'T WANNA BE A MAN!" yelled Yugi. "I WANNA BE A SCARED LITTLE GIRLY GIRL!"
"Uh…" said Tea.
"QUIET! SOMEONES COMING!" screamed Joey at the top of his lungs at the sight of a dubber standing right in front of the doorless doorway, quickly covering his eyes and holding his breath, despite the fact that he had completely blown his cover, due to the fact that a) he had just screamed at a volume that would instantly cause someone to go deaf if they listened to it on headphones and b) with no door, they had no cover to begin with.
"Don't…make…any…noise…guys…" said Tristan in a very loud whisper, as the dubber began to load up the dub-o-matic.
"THAT'S IT! I CAN STAND THIS GROUP STUPIDITY NO LONGER!" yelled Tea at the top of her lungs. "From here on out…I QUIT!"
"What?" cried Yugi. "Tea! You can't do that! Shri will have a cow!"
"I DON'T BEEPING CARE!" yelled Tea at the top of her lungs. "MAKE SHRI GO FIND SOME OTHER GIRL WHO CAN PUT UP WITH THIS KIND OF IDIOCY! I QUIT, DO YOU HEAR ME? ONE HUNDRED PERCENT QUIT!"
With a frustrated growl, Tea angrily stomped out of the scene. There was utter silence from the rest of the crew.
"Uh…now what?" asked Yugi.
"Uh…" said Tristan.
"Sorry, sorry, I just heard the news," said Shri, running into the scene. "Sorry everyone…sorry, honestly. This was beyond my control, it really was. But don't panic, this scene will just be put on temporary hold, and then we'll get straight back to it once we get the old Tea back or a replacement Tea…honestly. Don't worry, I'll be back in a bit. Just…let's switch over to Marik's scene then."
"Um," Joey said. "Shouldn't we give him some wa-"
---ooo---
The following is Fan Service to all Marik Fanatics
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND MY SHIRT ODION?" yelled Marik angrily.
"I don't know, it got lost somewhere in the fray!" yelled Odion angrily.
"Thank god I've got a smexy chest Odion," said Marik. "So why are we running away before these mortal bakas anyway?"
"Because these 'mortal bakas' will dub the spit out of us if we don't!" said Odion. "Marik, do you know what dubbers do to people? They give them stupid names, bad voice actors, and they turn them into the drooling playthings of little kids when they were originally designed for teenagers! DO YOU HAVE ANY COMPREHENSION OF HOW SICK THAT IS?"
"Do you think I have a smexy chest Odion?" asked Marik.
Odion just glared at him.
"Marik Ishtar…" said Ebony Crow, leaping from the ceiling, landing right in front of Marik, causing both him and Odion to scream like little girls. "We need to talk…"
---ooo---
Next time, Marik and Odion decide to take the dubbers head on, Bianca tries to find her way back to Tish, and a mad scramble to find Tea's replacement! See you next time!