5

"Very well," Yoda said. "But by chance alone we do not live our lives. If take an apprentice you will not, then, in time, perhaps fate will choose."

Qui-Gon was tired, but his mind was restless. The two brothers had fallen asleep at least an hour ago. Their deep breaths were calm save for the occasional snort that their noses issued. Their long arms were sprawled out in angles that couldn't possibly be comfortable, but still they slept. Paxxi had his arms wrapped around the device as if protecting it; protecting the object Obi-Wan risked his freedom for. He must have figured that was the least he could do. Guerra had immediately handed it over to Paxxi as if the anti-register device burned him. The Jedi had read guilt in every posture, every time he looked over at Qui-Gon and then quickly looked away.

Paxxi had assured his brother that everything would be all right in the morning after a little rest and a little food.

"You'll see. Obawan is so clever that he'll escape all on his own."

Guerra had nodded slowly and repeated what Paxxi had said. Everything would be clear in the morning. It was no use worrying about when they could no nothing.

Qui-Gon sighed softly into the darkness. He opened his eyes and stared up into the darkness. Obi-Wan's face haunted his eyes. His apprentice. It wasn't even their first official mission and he had already let the boy get captured. It was his plan to split up. Qui-Gon inwardly sighed. He was back on this train of thought again. He couldn't undo the past. He had to deal with the present and trust in the Force that everything would come out right. Unless this was the will of the Force.

Qui-Gon sat up silently. He heard scratching noises and he strained his ears for any sign of danger. All of his senses were on high alert. He was ready to defend himself and the brothers at the first sign of danger. He reached out with the Force, but could feel no sign of danger. He heard a soft squeaking noise and a small rodent scurried across the floor. Qui-Gon slowly exhaled and lay back on the ground. He had hoped it was Obi-Wan, but such a hope was foolish. The boy was resourceful, but he couldn't escape by himself. He still needed guidance. His guidance.

Obi-Wan's face lingered in Qui-Gon's mind. He could not sleep. Another face haunted his mind, but this was not the boyish trusting face of his new padawan. This was the past come back to haunt him. His icy blue eyes held an impish menace and his cruel mouth stretched into a humorous smile. The face was mocking him. The image raised its hands and clapped three times slowly. Qui-Gon could almost hear his voice, mocking him. 'That was quick. I thought you'd at least have him for a year before you failed him or he couldn't stand you anymore. Nice work Master Qui-Gon.'

The image disturbed Qui-Gon. It was enough to see him on Bandomeer. He did not have to think about him even more than necessary. He was out there in the ether somewhere and Qui-Gon knew in his heart that he would come back. He wasn't the type to forget things.

Qui-Gon mentally shook the dark thoughts of his former apprentice away and focused on emptying his mind. He took several calming breaths and tried to reach the calm he needed to meditate. When this had failed he shifted his position and slept on his side with his back facing the brothers. When this proved to be uncomfortable he shifted again and he was looking at their peaceful faces.

He wondered if Obi-Wan was sleeping now. Qui-Gon's heart thumped unpleasantly and he took another deep breath. No matter how hard he tried he could not get to sleep. He was too worried about his padawan. The Syndicat was cruel. Would they harm Obi-Wan or only imprison him? Was his padawan dead? Qui-Gon didn't believe that the boy was dead. He hoped he wasn't dead. He had to look at this logically. Obi-wan was an off-worlder impersonating a Syndicat guard who was sent to steal something. But he was also young. Did that merit death? Was Obi-Wan waiting to be executed? A stranger who disappeared was not noticed usually especially in a world run by fear. There were no repercussions if they killed him. Qui-Gon's veins filled with ice.

Qui-Gon's thoughts drifted to a Jedi Knight he knew. They were only acquaintances and rarely spoke to each other. When they crossed paths they would briefly nod and then go on their way. Qui-Gon remembered when the other Jedi Knight took a young twelve-year old boy to be his padawan. He recalled the look of anticipation in the new Master's eyes as they went out on their first mission together. The first missions were carefully chosen to be not too difficult or dangerous though as Yoda always said it was wiser to expect the unexpected.

The mission seemed so simple on first glance. It was a peaceful planet they were sent to. It wasn't off on the other end of the galaxy. It was close to Courscant and they were only there to act as witnesses to the coronation of the leader recently elected. It looked so simple and the Jedi Masters deemed that it should be their first mission.

The new master-padawan team arrived on the planet and everything was fine. The people were celebrating and the Jedi Knight couldn't even sense any tension. He remembered the look in their eyes as they left, but the look in the Master's eyes as he came back was even more vivid. A myriad of emotions were absorbed and reflected into them like some sort of crystalline prism. Grief, shock, guilt, anger, disbelief, and misery. The Jedi Knight was broken. He was a shell of what he once was. He was a failure.

It wasn't until much later that Qui-Gon had learned what happened to the apprentice. When the new leader Kemen was being appointed, the former leader, Setun, would have to cede his position to him in a public display. Seten was a decent and fair man and he knew when he had been beaten. He stepped down without hesitation and with little reluctance. The people were happy and everything was going according to plan. There was one person, however, who was not happy. Seten's only living family member was his sister who since his appointment lived in luxury. He may have been willing to give it up, but she was not.

As the day of the coronation approached the sister became more anxious than usual. She was a lethally cunning woman, but she was also proud. She underestimated the padawan and wrote him off as a simple boy. It was he who overheard her plot to assassinate the new leader. She had covered all of her tracks. She even went as far as to create a radical group who would purposely get caught in the act. The padawan and the Master informed Kemen of his current predicament, but they did not want to stop the coronation from happening. It would place fear on the whole government that it wasn't safe.

Extra security measures were taken and the Jedi were especially alert. They were able to stop the assassination attempt, but a great panic was caused and the radical movement that the sister created starting attacking in the streets. Many were killed in seconds and many others were trampled in the stampede of people trying to escape. The Master and his padawan tried to restore order, but knew the futility in the action. The Master and the apprentice got separated in the melee and it was hours later before the Master found the dead and trampled body of his padawan. He had been shot once in the chest.

The Master came back a very changed man. He was withdrawn and depressed. Guilt was stored in his heart. The worst of it all was the fear. He became so afraid of getting someone hurt that he was paralyzed. He could not make decisions anymore, and the fear ruled his life. After several months the Jedi Council knew that it would be too dangerous to send him out on a mission. His indescion and instability might cause others to get hurt.

He could not find peace with himself and so he eventually left the temple of his own choice. He was confirmed dead a few months after that. Qui-Gon knew that peace was not easily obtained. He still lived with some of the guilt of his first padawan. Would he become useless and frail if he found his current padawan dead? He lost his first one to greed and the dark side of the Force. He accepted this and lived with it. Even Jedi make mistakes, but if he failed his second padawan what right would he have to be a Master anymore?

Qui-Gon inwardly shuddered. The grief stricken almost manic eyes came back to his mind again, but they were his own. Was the Force trying to tell him something? Was he not meant to be Obi-Wan's Master? Qui-Gon shook his head. No, Yoda had practically thrown them together. If there was anyone who remotely understand the inner workings of the Force it was Yoda. A new and evil thought snaked his way into his mind.

Wasn't this what you wanted? You did not ask for another Padawan. You have helped the galaxy far more alone than you have with a padawan. You were guilted into taking him. This is your second chance.

Qui-Gon ignored the voice. His own doubts and fears were working against him. He knew the more he pondered them the more they would hurt him. He had to believe in the Force. He would need a clear mind in the morning and so he desperately needed to sleep. Qui-Gon forced all thoughts from his mind and eventually he slept deeply.

He did not dream. He did not remember dreaming, but something roused him from his sleep. Perhaps it was another mouse setting his Jedi reflexes on alert or maybe it was another sound that could be threatening. Qui-Gon didn't know. His body was still and his breathing was deep. He was absolutely awake and his senses were on high alert. Something had awoken him. Something… Qui-Gon then felt a wave of pure despair hit him. The desolation nearly knocked the breath out of him and his hands started to mildly shake. He looked at them and did not understand. He felt totally incapacitated by a feeling of nothingness until he thought that he would die. Then as suddenly as it came it was gone and his heart beat normally as if nothing had happened. Qui-Gon sat quickly and looked out into the darkness.

Where did that feeling come from? His mind wandered and then the answer hit him like the tide against a cliff. Obi-Wan. His padawan was experiencing that despair. Obi-Wan had lost hope. What could possibly make his padawan loose hope? Even when he had rejected Obi-Wan as his padawan Obi-Wan still had hope that he would be his padawan. Qui-Gon saw it in the determination of the boy's eyes. Qui-Gon felt the guilt he had banished awhile creep back on him. His padawan was suffering because he could not save him. Not even their first official mission and he was as good as dead… No, that was not true. There was still… What hope? A dark voice in his mind asked snidely. You felt that there is no hope. Nothing will save him. He will die. Qui-Gon ignored that voice. There was always hope with the presence of the Force.

"Jedi-Gon?" Guerra's sleepy voice came out of the darkness.

"Yes?" Qui-Gon asked quietly. He was afraid his voice might betray his true feelings to the already guilty Phindian.

"I thought I was the only one awake. I can't sleep."

"Not so?" Qui-Gon tried to joke.

"Well, not so so."

The two both took a long sigh and Guerra stumbled over to Qui-Gon to sit in front of him.

"I'm afraid for Obawan."

"I am as well." Qui-Gon again said softly.

"Every time I close my eyes I see his face, but he is angry with me. He thinks I betrayed him. I did. No lie."

Qui-Gon looked with pity on the Phindian. The Jedi Master was not the only one who blamed themselves. The guilt must have been especially heavy on Guerra.

"It was not your fault Guerra." Qui-Gon reassured.

"It is though." Guerra protested. "I could've..."

Qui-Gon shook his head and squeezed Guerra's shoulder reassuringly.

"We all could've done something. We could have not even gone, but then where would that get us? Obi-wan knew that we had to get the device. I would have done the same thing."

"You wouldn't have left him." Guerra said dejectedly.

Qui-Gon paused to think before he spoke. No, he wouldn't have left Obi-Wan. He would have made the boy leave with the device just like Obi-wan did with Guerra.

"There was nothing you could've done Guerra. Do you think Obi-Wan would let you?"

"But…"

"You said so yourself Guerra. He tricked you."

"I know all this." Guerra said hopelessly. "But it doesn't make it go away."

"No. It doesn't." Qui-Gon remarked.

"Do you think he is all right?" Guerra asked.

Qui-Gon took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He remembered the debilitating fear that had come over him; that came from Obi-wan. No, Obi-Wan was not all right.

"Yes, Guerra." Qui-Gon lied. "Obi-Wan is a very brave young man. He will no doubt be wondering if we are all right."

Guerra smiled lightly.

"That is so." He said.

"You should get back to sleep." Qui-Gon suggested and Guerra nodded.

The Phindian sauntered over to where he had been previously sleeping and plopped down beside his brother. Qui-Gon lay back down and closed his eyes. He took deep and even breaths and calmed his mind once again.

"It's not your fault either Qui-Gon." Guerra sleepily said.

The corners of Qui-Gon's mouth slightly upturned and then he fell asleep.

A/N: Okay, so it's not six months, but I decided to be nice… Well actually, I've had more time to write. When's the next update you ask? Not till JULY 2009. That's when! MWHAHAH. Well, at least I didn't get your hopes up right?