16
"The beginning was the hardest," he said. "The Jedi Temple is calm and beautiful. It is my home, and yet it is not a home like everyone else has."
It had been a week since Avlo found the boy. Each day in the morning he would journey to Galu and enquire if anyone had lost a young non-Galacian boy. He would come back every evening when the sun was beginning to set to see if anyone had heard anything. Avlo was exhausted. It was a long journey to the capital and he was only a farmer. It wasn't a waste of fuel, but each trip wasn't cheap. He was hoping that maybe the boy would remember something, but he did not. The boy couldn't even remember his own name much less where his parents were.
Avlo couldn't sleep so he sat up in his bed and looked blankly at the walls of the dark room. The boy was getting along great with Shiko. They were perfect together. The boy may have been much older and taller than his son, but they seemed the same age most times. The boy followed Shiko everywhere and each time they came back to the house they would both be laughing and the boy seemed less confused. Shiko was teaching him.
The boy spoke more now and even helped Shiko with his chores (Now they actually got done!). Sera doted on him constantly, Tiku tried to engage the boy in a political conversation but the boy was characteristically silent, and Keta rolled her eyes at him the same way she did with Shiko. Everyone liked him. Avlo sighed. They weren't going to find the boy's parents and part of him hoped that they didn't. He wasn't a genius but if anyone hadn't claimed any ties to the boy yet then they were either dead or they abandoned him. The boy fit perfectly into the family. He couldn't deny that his family had been less on edge since the boy arrived. Keta even treated Avlo with something close to respect.
"Avlo, get back to sleep. I can hear you thinking." Sera said softly.
"I can't," Avlo stated.
Sera sat up in the bed and yawned.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.
"No," Avlo lied and Sera snorted.
She turned on a light and it softly illuminated the room. She raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. She always knew when her husband was lying. Avlo shook his head.
"He doesn't even have a name Sera. We just call him 'boy'."
"We can't do anything about that. He doesn't remember." Sera rubbed Avlo's back soothingly.
"We could give him one…" Avlo suggested.
Sera's hand stopped and she looked seriously at her husband.
"Avlo, he's not ours. You may not have found his parents yet, but they may be out there. We can't keep him."
"We haven't found them yet."
"That doesn't mean anything."
"Sera, I know you like him. We all like him. We should—"
Sera's eyes lit up in anger and she pulled away from her husband.
"And what if we do name him and adopt him as our son? We all live happy and he's happy and doesn't remember anything of his past life. Then one day when we're all living our happy little lives his real parents do show up and they want him back? What do we do then Avlo? I'm not ready to give up one of my children and neither are you."
"Sera…" Avlo reached out for his wife.
Sera's expression softened and she rested her head on Avlo's shoulder.
"You're right. I'm not ready. Tiku is a legal adult now. He may leave at any minute and it scares me and makes me proud at the same time. He's a hard worker, but he doesn't know what he wants. Keta… She'll leave at the first chance she gets. She told me so." Avlo said softly. "She has such dreams..."
Sera took Avlo's hand in her own.
"All children eventually leave," Sera said.
"I didn't," Avlo said stubbornly.
"You didn't have to stay Avlo." Sera said, squeezing his hand.
"What will happen to the farm when I'm gone?" Avlo asked. "It was my father's farm, and my father's father, and so on for five generations."
Sera smiled lightly and her eyes shone in the soft light.
"It won't matter so much when you're dead." She chuckled.
Avlo's eyebrows shot up and his face scrunched up in disbelief.
"I guess not!" He conceded.
"Just worry about now," She soothed. "It will all work out somehow."
Sera kissed Avlo lightly and lay back down on the bed. Avlo lay on his side and closed his eyes. In the morning he wouldn't go into town. He had been there enough. If there was someone looking for the boy they would know where to find him.
The boy opened his eyes. He had asked Shiko the day before what it was that happened when he closed his eyes. Shiko said it was called sleeping. The boy then asked why he went to sleep and how come he didn't sleep more or whenever he closed his eyes. Shiko said it was because he didn't need to. The boy accepted. He didn't really like sleeping that much. It reminded him of the emptiness inside of his mind. When he was not sleeping there was Shiko, Avlo, and the others, but during sleep there was only the blackness. He remembered the blackness. It was the first thing he remembered. He didn't like it. It wasn't as bad as it was before. Now there was something to fill the void. It may have not been what it was before (if there was a before at all) but it was his. He could remember what happened yesterday and that was all that mattered.
He liked them all. He hadn't felt any bad feelings from them since the dinner. There was the occasional something from Keta that he couldn't figure out. He couldn't describe it. It was something not right. He hadn't seen the man named Kiban in awhile. Everyday Avlo and him went to the place where he came from (Avlo called it Galu) to find his parents.
"Hey!" Shiko said sharply.
The boy looked over at Shiko who was still in his bed.
"Why do you always do that when you wake up?" Shiko asked.
Shiko's voice always sounded different when he came from sleeping; more subdued.
"What?" The boy asked.
"You sit there and stare," Shiko yawned. "Looks boring."
"I try to remember," The boy said.
"Does it work?"
"No."
Shiko yawned and his eyelids closed slowly and reopened.
"Do you remember anything?" He asked.
"No," The boy answered.
"That's okay, you can stay with us." Shiko said.
"I can?" The boy asked.
The boy couldn't imagine being anywhere else. Avlo, Shiko, Tiku, Keta, and Sera were the only people he knew. The others that hurt him… He didn't want to see them again. If those were his parents then he didn't want to be with them. He didn't want to leave.
"Home," Avlo had said.
The boy had yet to ask Shiko about 'home' yet. He had a strange feeling about it like a part of him knew what it was, but he couldn't describe it. Home. Sera had talked about 'home' as well. She kept telling the boy that one day he would go 'home'. He had a feeling that it was something he should have, like a name, like parents.
"Yah!" Shiko exclaimed.
The corners of the boy's lips curled up in a smile. He wanted to stay and Shiko said he could. It was enough for him. Both the boys got up from their beds and put on new clothes. The lost boy didn't understand this either. Why were some clothes okay to wear for certain times only? Shiko knew what he was doing so the boy copied him. Sera had given him some of Tiku's old clothes. Shiko always wanted to 'race' to see who could get undressed and dressed the fastest. Shiko always won. The lost boy always got stuck on the shirt and Shiko had to help him. There were three holes in the shirt and he always chose the wrong one to put his head through. Shiko thought it was funny though.
Once dressed Shiko raced out of the room and the boy followed. It was easy to keep up with Shiko. The boy thought it might be because Shiko's legs were shorter, but he couldn't know for certain. It was one of the many questions he had to ask. He had a lot of them and tried to remember them all, but he couldn't. There were way too many.
"Slow down!" Sera yelled with a very large spoon in her hand.
Shiko skidded to a halt and the boy stopped right behind him. Sera waved the spoon at Shiko and told him not to run in the house. Shiko smiled and sat down at the table. The boy sat down right next to him. He looked eagerly at Sera and the steaming food she was making. He always enjoyed 'breakfast'—and 'lunch' and 'dinner'. He also liked 'snacks'.
Sera smiled broadly at the two young boys and walked over to the table. She started piling yellow stuff on the lost boy's plate. The lost boy looked at it in wonderment. He had never seen it before. He poked it tentatively with his fork. Shiko made a face at the yellow stuff and stuck out his tongue. Sera left and returned with a pot of little brown squares. The lost boy liked these. He smiled and Sera smiled back at him. The two boys immediately began to eat their breakfast. The lost boy ate the little brown and white squares first.
Shiko was poking the yellow stuff and making faces at it.
"What is it?" The lost boy asked Shiko.
"Scrambled Eggs," Shiko said with disdain.
The lost boy forked a large amount of scrambled eggs and shoveled it into his mouth. He let the taste assault him and he grimaced. He didn't really like it as much as the other foods. He was quickly learning that there were some foods that were better to eat than others. Shiko had told him 'dessert' was the best. As always, Shiko was right. The lost boy swallowed and his face scrunched up. He gripped his fork tighter and picked up more of the scrambled eggs. He forced them into his mouth and swallowed. He continued this many times.
"You don't have to do that," Shiko whispered next to him.
"What?" The boy asked quietly back.
"You don't have to eat it; hide it." Shiko whispered again.
Sera looked at the two boys with suspicion. Shiko smiled sweetly and the lost boy regained his confused expression.
"Drink your juice," She told both of them.
They both picked up their glasses at the same time and took a sip. Sera's eyebrows furrowed but she went back into the kitchen and hummed quietly. The lost boy looked at his remaining eggs with trepidation. How come the juice tasted so good and eggs did not? He got a strange idea. What if he mixed the juice with the eggs? Would that make the eggs taste good? He was about to ask Shiko, but Sera was watching them both out of the corner of her eye. He decided to try it and ask Shiko about it later.
The lost boy shoveled some eggs in his mouth and blanched at the taste. He then took a drink of juice and swallowed. The eggs tasted a whole lot better that way. The boy smiled and set about to the task of finishing his scrambled eggs. Shiko looked with shock at the lost boy's empty plate.
"How did you—" He began to ask.
Tiku stormed into the room with a huge grin on his face. His eyes looked really huge and his hair was messy. The lost boy's face was blank. It was a natural reaction for whenever Tiku was around. He could never understand anything of what Tiku was saying. If he tried hard enough he knew some words Tiku was saying. Shiko told him that he just talked fancy. Mostly the boy had to rely on the 'feelings'. He hadn't asked Shiko about them yet. He had to wait till he understood them better. He was around people and he just 'felt'. The 'feelings' were the most he understood, but also the least. Shiko and the others had to explain things like 'taste' to him, but he knew feeling. There was feeling and then there was feeling. He could feel the smooth table, but he could also feel Tiku sometimes.
"Phindar!" Tiku nearly shouted. "He's on Phindar!"
The boy paused and listened to the words. What was a Fin-dar?
"What dear?" Sera asked as she prepared a plate for her oldest son.
Tiku sat down and took a sip of his hot brown juice. The lost boy wasn't allowed to have this brown juice, nor was Shiko.
"Beju! He's on Phindar!" Tiku exclaimed.
"Oh thank the dynasty!" Sera breathed in relief. "Our neighbors were telling me he was kidnapped."
"No, that wasn't it at all. A Jedi team was supposedly sent to Gala to oversee the elections, but then they didn't show up. Beju was apparently concerned and contacted the Jedi temple…"
The lost boy stopped trying to understand. Tiku was always confusing. One day he hoped to understand him.
"What's a Jedi?" The lost boy asked Shiko while Tiku continued to talk about Beju.
"I don't know. I never met one." Shiko said. "Maybe we should go look for one and ask him."
"…Then he stays there to help the Phindians rebuild. That is going to get him some serious votes." Tiku finished.
"Your vote?" Sera asked coyly.
Tiku shrugged.
"I still haven't decided," He said. "But Beju will most likely continue the monarchy and then this election will have been almost pointless. Who are you voting for?"
Sera smiled and patted him on the head.
"The cute one," She answered.
Tiku sat there with his mouth hanging open.
"Please say you are joking," He gasped. "You are joking."
Sera smiled again.
"Don't you think this Beju going to Phindar is a little convenient?" Sera asked seriously.
"Well obviously he had some ulterior motive. His advisors are being characteristically silent. It's a nice story though." Tiku remarked.
"Boring…" Shiko drawled.
Tiku rolled his eyes and began to eat his breakfast. Avlo walked into the kitchen and Sera went to hand him his cup. The lost boy immediately stood up and headed towards the door. He knew that every morning they went to Gala. Avlo stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Not today, boy." Avlo said.
The lost boy's face clouded with confusion. They went to Galu everyday. Why not today? Would they go tomorrow? Was it not actually the time they went? He still didn't understand this 'time' thing.
"It's all right Daddy," Shiko smiled. "I already told him he could stay with us."
Sera froze and dropped the cup of brown juice she made for Avlo. The lost boy watched as the cup fell in air. It seemed to slow down and he had the impulse to reach out and grab it. The air got thicker and he was finding it harder to breath. The cup fell slower and slower and he extended his hand and grabbed it. When he touched the cup the air was normal again. The cup was creating a strange sensation in his fingers that soon became painful. He dropped the cup and it fell to the floor. The cup toppled over and the painful brown juice spilled all over the floor.
"Whoah!" Shiko exclaimed and laughed.
"Nice reflexes," Tiku commented.
Sera began to immediately clean up the spill on the floor. Avlo cleared his throat and looked at the laughing Shiko.
"Shiko…" Avlo began. "You can't just decide something like that on your on."
"He said he wanted to. So we decided together!" Shiko shrilled.
Avlo looked away and sighed. The lost boy was looking at his hand in confusion. Keta then walked in and her eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"What's going on?" She asked.
"Our lost one just caught that cup out of thin air." Tiku said.
Keta looked at the wet ground.
"He did…" She stated disbelievingly.
"Well, then he dropped it, but he did catch it." Tiku babbled.
"Right…" Keta said.
"Do it again!" Shiko shrieked and dropped his fork.
The fork clattered to the ground and Shiko crossed his arms. The lost boy was still staring at his hand. He couldn't understand what had just happened. The air was normal now. The blank look returned to his face and he decided to just accept. It was easier that way.
"Boy?" Avlo asked.
The lost boy looked up at Avlo with the blank expression. Avlo sighed on the inside. He hated the blankness on the boy's face. He saw it less and less, but each time it came back and it was more wrenching than the last.
"If we can't find your parents would you like to live with us?" Avlo asked.
Sera shook her head and brought Avlo another cup. Avlo gripped the cup by its handle and looked earnestly at the boy. The boy nodded slowly. Avlo clasped the boy warmly on the shoulder and the boy's blank mask melted into a smile. Shiko got out of his chair and embraced the lost boy's midsection. The lost boy let out a startled breath. Tiku and Keta smiled and looked at each other. Sera looked away. She had to keep reminding herself that it wasn't for certain. There was always that 'if'. She had to keep from getting too attached. No mother or father in their right minds would leave a child behind like the boy. Then again, there were many people not in their right minds.
She wanted to keep the boy, but something was telling her that she couldn't. What if the boy remembered? What would they do then? Avlo was already attached. Shiko had someone to play with. Keta and Tiku liked him and she worried about him constantly. It was already too late not to get attached. They had brought him into their home and now he was apart of it.
Shiko was jumping up and down now and grabbed the lost boy by the hand and started dragging him out the door.
"Shiko! Don't forget your chores!" Sera reflexively called out.
"Okay mommy!" Shiko said from far away.
Shiko led the lost boy across the golden fields to the large rock that Avlo had moved with his bare hands. The small river splashed in the distance. The lost boy liked this place. He didn't know why but he felt calmer when he was here.
"I had to get you away before they started assigning you chores." Shiko stated.
"Chores?" The lost boy asked.
"Now that you're part of our family they'll make you do chores."
The lost boy looked puzzled but said nothing. He listened to the distant river. It calmed him immensely. He was no longer afraid or anxious. He smiled lightly and his eyes half closed. He felt like sleeping again, but Shiko shook him.
"Come on!" Shiko said and he began running in a different away. "Catch me if you can!" He called.
It was a 'game' as Shiko called them. Shiko would run until he could catch him and then the lost boy would run from Shiko. Sometimes Shiko would try to hide and then the lost boy could never find him. Shiko knew all the good hiding spots.
When the boys got hungry they found their way back to house. Sera was waiting for them with lunch. The lost boy sniffed the air and smiled. He knew that Sera had made bread. He liked to smell things. It was almost like knowing something before he actually found out. The two boys sat down to eat and they both ravenously ate their lunch. Afterward Shiko made that strange sound with his mouth that Sera always scolded him for.
"Are your chores done yet Shiko?" Sera asked him.
Shiko smiled and Sera sighed.
"Go help your father." She ordered and sighed.
"Come on Atri," Shiko said.
Sera crossed her arms and looked at the two strangely.
"Atri?" She asked both of them.
The lost boy looked confused and Shiko looked excited.
"That's what I'm going to call him until he remembers his name." Shiko explained.
The lost boy pondered the word. Atri. Was that his name before? Was that really his name now? Would it be different to have a name? Atri. Could he really be Atri? He wanted a name. It was the one thing that everything had; from the 'rock' to 'tasting' to Shiko. Everything had a name-- everything except him.
"Shiko, you should ask him if he's all right with the name first." Sera scolded.
"Oh right, sorry," Shiko apologized.
Shiko looked at the boy who was pondering the name.
"Is it all right if I give you a nickname?" Shiko asked sincerely.
"Nick-name?" The boy asked confused.
"Yah, something I call you that doesn't have to be your real name." Shiko explained.
That was it. That was the solution. He wasn't losing his original name! He was just letting Shiko call him something different because he couldn't remember his own. His name was still out there, but lost. He could be Atri and the person he didn't remember at the same time.
"Is it okay?" Shiko asked again.
Atri nodded.
A/N: Two months! Sorry! Life just got REALLY REALLY complicated. Back to Phindar!