Disclaimer: okay we should all know it how works by now if I don't own any of the HP characters or themes this is just my take on how things should have been.

VERY IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE: due to unforeseen circumstances this is the last chapter the fabulous and wonderful taint of taia will be betaing for me. I would like to thank her and wish her all the luck in the world. Unfortunately this me I I'm currently without A beta if any of you out there would like to give me hand please let me know. If I cannot find a new beta I will be vun able to post for a while. thank you and please enjoy the post.

Chapter Seven

A Lopsided Existence

by Empathicallychosen

BETAED BY taint of taia

"The man that makes a character, makes foes." -- Edward Young

(o)(o)(o)

James stood on a hill overlooking the lake with a letter crumpled tightly in his hand as he listened to the night wind gently rustle the grass around him. Life was a funny thing. Last summer James's only worry was how to get Lily to like him. Then from out of nowhere three kids show up on his doorstep and suddenly everything changed. It was like they woke up something inside of him that he had put to rest a long time ago.

Frightening as all of this was he mercifully received a distraction when Dumbledore announced a Halloween masquerade. Once again James was able to redirect himself from the ugly truths of growing up. He focused all of his energies into becoming attractive to Lily and the adventures he had craved not so long ago. Unfortunately James had so much work to do for his N.E.W.T.s that adventures were few and far between and it had been exactly two weeks from the start of term and James had not yet become the man of Lily's dreams. The problem was James had no idea what Lily was looking for in a man. (Though he refused to admit it.) Nevertheless James was able to stay so preoccupied that Harry and the feelings he had about the little boy were pushed to the back of his mind. This worked very well for James until about an hour ago.

James smoothed out the letter which was pointless because he had already memorized the blasted thing:

Dear James, Remus and Sirius,

I hope that school is going well and that the three of you aren't causing too much trouble. I'm afraid I have some bad news. Harry got very ill after you left for school. from what I understand it is quite serious. But don't worry, I'm sure everything will be fine, your father and I are taking care of it. I thought it was best to inform you. Study hard and try not to break too many hearts. I will write you again as soon as I can and hopefully the topic will be more pleasant.

Love always,

Mum

This letter worried James and that made James angry because James didn't want to be constantly troubled by Harry. When James had first read this letter, he felt like a part of him was dying and it terrified him. What was going on anyway the kid didn't even exist yet! You can't have feelings for something that doesn't exist! The problem was that Harry did exist and ignoring it wouldn't change that. But James didn't want to face his new life. He didn't want to grow up. James crumbled the letter again; Marauders were supposed to be immortal. 'Carefree and reckless forever,' that's what they had always said. In a rage James through his rucksack as far as he could and it bounced off the tree and came to rest with its roots.

"IT'S NOT FAIR" James shouted into the wind. "I NEVER ASKED FOR HIM TO COME HERE!"

The angrier James got the more the truth of the matter came to him. James didn't believe in destiny life was what you made of it. But maybe a person had a few select things that were simply a certainty. If that was true then Harry was a factor in James's life whether he wanted him to be or not. The thing James couldn't understand was that he did want Harry. He had known the boy possibly for four months and he was already ingrained into James's soul.

"You're going to get me kicked out you know," James told the ball in his fist softly.

"I don't know about that," said a voice from behind him. "I'm kind of glad you're finished being an immature idiot . . . In fact I think someone ought to give Harry a medal."

"Go away Moony. I just want to be alone for a while," said James warily.

"Tough," said Padfoot as he and Moony sat down on the grass next to James.

"Now if only Harry could do something with Padfoot," said Mooney almost jokingly.

"Watch it flee-face," snapped Sirius in jest.

"He's four, not a miracle worker," James teased lamely.

Sirius shoved James lightly and from that point on the three friends sat in silence for a long time.

In fact they had sat for so long that they found there back sides were sore but rather then leave they stood only long enough to stretch themselves and then they layon their backs staring up at the stars.

"You don't think Dumbledore left because of Harry do you," James asked after a while.

Dumbledore had stood up at breakfast and announced that a friend of his was gravely ill and he had to go away for a few days and make some arrangements.

"Nah," said Padfoot composedly

"Awfully certain aren't you," said James trying to inject some amusement into his voice.

"Yeah," said Padfoot I mean think about it. "The old man's what like a thousand? He's got to have dozens of friends with both feet in the grave."

"Yeah, he's right James I wouldn't worry about it," said Moony but even as he said it they all knew he was wrong.

James allowed himself to be swept up in the vast miracle of the stars. What was it about them that made a person feel small? What was said about them that made a person face their own mortality? Mortality . . . James couldn't help but wonder in that moment if Harry were to die in this era what would happen? As if reading James's mind Remus broke James's train of thought in the Nick of Time.

"Hey Prongs?"

"Yeah."

"Padfoot and I were talking, and we decided that if you want to hold Harry's hand outside of a dark tunnel, it's okay with us."

James blushed and rolled over onto his stomach, elbows pressed hard into the dirt. He wasn't sure whether to be ashamed that they had seen James trying to comfort Harry or relieved that they understood what he was going through and were willing to stand by him. James didn't know if it was too much to hope for or not. He tried to think of something to say but every time he opened his mouth nothing came out. He took a deep breath and waited for his heart to stop pounding.

"Mean it," he said childishly.

"Sure, besides I hear kids really attract girls. You know the sensitive type and all that," said Padfoot nonchalantly placing his hands behind his head.

"What about Peter," said James dismally.

"He's hopeless with the ladies you know that," said Padfoot playfully.

"I mean how does he feel about Harry dog breath," said James impatiently.

"Peter will take awhile but he'll come around he always does," said Moony getting up to head back to the castle.

They were silent.

"Hey guys," said James softly.

"Yeah," said Moony

"Thanks."

"No problem, Prongs ol' pal," said Padfoot as they threw James's invisibility cloak over themselves and started to walk up to their dormitory for a nice long sleep.

-- -- -- -- --

None of the students at Hogwarts could understand why the sun was already heating the air so rapidly on a Tuesday morning in the middle of September. The Herbology students were baking out on the grounds as they toiled away trying to work with soil so hot it felt like fire. James, Remus and Sirius skidded along the dungeon floor as they raced towards their potions class. They had already been late for every class this year and their potionmaster had told them that if they were late again they would receive a month's worth of detentions pickling toadstools. When they finally raced through the door Professor Slughorn frowned so deeply that his walrus mustache looked like it was going to droop all the way to the floor.

"I'm sorry boys but I'm going to have to give you that detention now. Meet me in my office at 7:30," he said gloomily.

As James headed over and sat down next to Peter, Lily couldn't help but notice that James was so pale he resembled a vampire. His hair was even wilder than usual not to mention the fact that his glasses were practically sliding off his nose and he didn't seem to be making an effort to fix it. But what alarmed Lily the most was that the normally loud and rambunctious Quidditch champion was behaving in a very subdued manner.

"Is he in his slippers," said Lana McEwen a wide-eyed Hufflepuff girl.

Lily looked down at James's feet to see a pair of royal blue fuzzy toed house shoes. She shook her head in disbelief this was getting more and more bizarre by the minute.

"What do you suppose is wrong with him," she said trying to sound nonchalant.

"I don't know," said Lily's best friend Olivia Cole brushing her blue streaked hair out of her eyes. "But whatever it is it just got worse. Look."

Lily followed Olivia's gaze and groaned. Striding down the rows of students was Isabella Fontaine. Isabella was a tall, lengthy brunette who came from a very wealthy wizarding family. Whatever Isabella wanted Isabella got, except of course for the thing she wanted most of all James. James, who had been interested in Lily ever since their second year had never exhibited the slightest bit of enthusiasm for Isabella. This of course only made her more desperate to win James and the more James rejected her the more she resented Lily. Even though Lily had told Isabella time and time again that she could have Potter. Lily had always thought that James and Isabella deserved each other. But today with James looking so completely pitiful it seemed like cruel and unusual punishment.

As always Isabella was accompanied by her best friend Samantha Tisdale, a clever and cunning blond girl whose cold and calculated eyes were as blue as the ocean. When they reached the table where Remus James and Sirius were setting up their cauldrons James muttered a little in a way very much reminiscent of moaning Myrtle.

"Not now woman! Can't you see we're busy," snapped Sirius harshly.

Samantha glared at Sirius who looked nothing more than amused by her intimidation tactic.

Isabella Ignored Sirius and smiled flirtatiously at James. She began to talk to him in an annoying bubbly voice that was quite unnatural for Isabella. Lily bent over looking for potion ingredients in her bookbag pretending not to listen. Isabella mentioned something about a cousin and asked James to go to the Halloween dance with her. It was strange Lily had never cared who Potter went out with before but for a fleeting moment Lily caught herself praying that he would tell her no. There was a clatter as James stood up so quickly that he just about smashed Isabella's nose. Remus pulled gently on James his sleeve and he sat back down. James looked around the room blushing a little when he realized everyone was staring at him.

"No, Isabella, for the last time I do not want to go to the dance with you," said James loudly.

Isabella flushed dark red and rushed back to her seat with Samantha trailing along behind her. Gradually the whole room stopped staring and pretended to go back to their own conversations, whispering hurriedly about what had happened.

"That was a little harsh wasn't it," said Lana McEwen turning from her cauldron to watch as James slowly turned back to his work.

"Not really, once you factor in that Isabella's already asked him 15 times," said Olivia.

The other girls at the table stared at Olivia in fascination.

"What," said Olivia defensively "it's like watching a train wreck."

"Speaking of train wrecks, look out Lil, here she comes," warned Victoria Willoughby her chocolate skin tone sparkling because of the bright sunlight that streamed through the window.

Lily sighed and watched warily as Isabella waited for Professor Slughorn to leave the room so that he could discuss something with Professor Flitwick. The moment he had Isabella charged crisply toward her knocking down a number of students and everything else that stood in her path. This reminded Lily vividly of an elephant stampede.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't little miss high and mighty," snapped Samantha.

"Pardon me," said Lily calmly.

Isabella sneered testily at Lily.

"Don't play dumb with me, you nasty little Mudblood," Isabella hissed.

"Watch your mouth," snarled Lana.

"Stay out of this, badger brain," Isabella retorted.

Lana opened her mouth with a comeback but stopped when Victoria put a hand on her shoulder. If Isabella wasn't being so cruel Lily might have laughed. Firstly because this behavior was simply so childish and secondly because Isabella had lipstick smeared all along her front four teeth that had most likely been there the entire time she had been flirting with James.

"... We all know that you fed my Jamie a love potion," said Isabella leaning so far into the desk it looked as though she might split in half.

"How pray tell, did you come up with that ridiculous and desperate conclusion," asked Victoria in amusement.

"Oh please," said Samantha tartly. "How else could somebody so ordinary and

so hideous bag a catch like Potter?"

"Do you want me to hit her for you Lils," snarled Olivia.

"Go ahead and try freak show," sneered Samantha.

"Just dropped it Liv," advised Lily.

Lily wasn't much for what other people thought about her but this was getting far too ludicrous and had gone on for far too long. The nerve of that girl! Lily saw the way boys looked at her. She wasn't so dense that she didn't notice the jealous glances she got from her older sister Petunia. Lily had already turned down 12 different boys who had asked her to the ball because she didn't know how to dance very well and wasn't very keen on making a fool of herself Lily lowered her voice because students all around the classroom were staring, including James.

"If I wanted to go out with Potter, I would've gone any of the times he asked me. Better yet I would have asked him to go out with me myself why would I need to enchant him. From where I'm sitting it looks to me you are just being snippy because Potter isn't interested in you," Lily snapped coldly.

Isabella reddened with indignation.

"It just so happens he only turned me down because his cousin has taken ill and he's rather sick about it," said Isabella.

Lily glanced at James who turned away.

"All right, all right everyone eyes forward. Miss Fontaine, Miss Tisdale find your seats please," said Professor Slughorn as he came back into the classroom. "Today we will be working on the draught of the living dead . . . "

-- -- -- -- -

By the end of potions class the day had gone from bright and sunny too cold and rainy leaving the students once again at a loss to figure out what had happened. Everyone, Lily noticed except for the "Marauders."

"Merlin, if Ron doesn't start calming down the kid's going to cause a natural disaster," Sirius said as he and his friends left the room.

Lily watched as James lingered gathering his things to leave.

"Hello, Earth to Lily are you coming or what," asked Victoria breaking through to Lily after several minutes of trying.

"Yeah, you guys go ahead I'll the right behind you," said Lily without taking her eyes off James.

"Ok-ay suit yourself,"said Olivia as she and Victoria left with Lana.

Lily took a deep breath not even sure what she was doing or why she cared.

"OI! Potter."

James turned and looked around the entire dungeon to find the one who had called him as though positive that the Lily Evans would never dream of talking to him. In spite of herself Lily smirked. Love potion indeed! When James was certain, it was Lily who had spoken to him he waved away his friends giving Peter and angry look when he thumped James on the back. As James made his way over to Lily, she had half expected him to be striding up her and pompously and roughing up his hair. But he wasn't, on the contrary Lily noted in even greater astonishment that there seemed to be something very sober about James today.

"Yeah" he said dully.

" I was just wondering if it was true about what Isabella said about your cousin," said Lily quickly.

"No, that's not why I turned her down, I turned her down because, well quite honestly she gives me the creeps," said James turning around to leave, looking if possible even worse than before.

"No I know that. She scares me too sometimes, I was just wondering if you really did have an ill cousin," said Lily speaking even faster now.

"Oh that yeah, his name is Harry. He's only four," said James blankly.

"What's wrong with him oh gosh. I'm sorry I didn't mean," said Lily blushing.

"No, it's all right, I don't know myself, all my mom said was that it was serious," said James staring at the floor.

"You really care about him don't you," Lily observed

"Yeah," said James.

Lily stared.

"What's a matter didn't you think I had feelings," said James darkly.

"Of course I did, it's just nice to see this side of you is all, " Lily retorted as they walked down the hall together.

"Good to know," said James feeling considerably happier.

"Oh and Potter, by the way, nice slippers."

A\n thanks for reading everyone please click the reveiw button at the bottom of the page

just another reminder i'm IN NEED OF THE NEW BETA

next chapter the trio comes to hogwarts for the first time(and I promise Harry's speech will have improved)