Summary: When is love considered a sin? Is it when you love behind a person's back or is it when you love more than you think? Roy Mustang only wanted to love and be loved but sometimes love takes away the only thing we have…our innocence. RoyxEd

Author's note: You probably noticed the italicized paragraph in the ending of the story. I just had the idea because to me it is very important to keep morale in a story. I am Christian after all and cursing defies the law of God. :P

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them and if only I had a transmutation circle I would buy this series but equivalent exchange just pulls me from doing so since an anime this great would require a greater price. (Think they'd need my eye in exchange?)

Love takes our innocence

Chapter 2

Love puns

Dear Colonel Roy Mustang,

We are very pleased to inform you that, due to the loss of the late Brigadier General Gran, you are now being chosen to move a rank higher and replace the said official. As it is, the inauguration of your title as the "Brigadier general" of the army is to happen on the 10th day of October, situated in the central Headquarters. Fuehrer Bradley king will do the honor of announcing you. We in the army hope that you will attend at this imperative day.

Till then,

Koori Eisenhower

Deputy Commander

Roy rested his elbow on the sleek, mahogany table. Placing his hand on top of the letter, he let out a sigh of relief. Of course, everyone has been sent the letter, informing them that they had a new master to follow. He can't exactly say that everyone wanted him to be the Brigadier General, quite honestly, pretty much everyone in the army though of him as a glory hog, doing the dirty work just so that he could move up and take a step forward in fulfilling his selfish dreams.

"Hmm…Brigadier General Roy Mustang" he said out loud, placing a thoughtful finger on his chin and then a smirk followed "Not bad." Probably one of his specialties is his egoistic manner most of the time. He had too much of his own pride that he was surprised he still was alive after all these years. In his lifetime, there were only 2 things that squashed that ego out of him.

First was the Ishbal rebellion. He was one of the state alchemists sent there to wipe all resistance movements. With his power back then, he can't torch a single person but because of the philosopher's stone he was able to amplify his own alchemy and reproduce the oxygen around him to make one big mess. He swore that every time he saw himself and the others using their own alchemy with the stone it was like seeing the big bang theory in the present time.

Because all the powerful alchemists such as him had the stone, they destroyed every rebel group in a snap. Not only that, they also managed to wipe out the whole of Ishbal. What was left after they step in to interfere is nothing but debris, dead bodies and people suffering. The Ishbalans had nothing left except misery, suffering and anger. They were stepped on by the military and kept them under their control.

Since he was part of the military, he knew he stepped on them too. The whole army desecrated everything the Ishbalans believed in. The temples in which everyone in Ishbal praised their God, he burned it to the ground while thousands of people where inside, still praying that they be saved from the hands of the state alchemists. The buildings where the Ishbalans kept their weaponry, their clothing, their food, he torched that one too. The hospitals, he destroyed while people were seeking refuge, their houses he ruined, while they all pleaded to him, begging him not to because they have nowhere else to live, because they have no place to go, because it was home.

Most importantly, he obliterated their country, maybe not alone, but he was part of it. He massacred those poor people just because he was asked to do so. The Ishbalan's place in the world was removed. They had neither home nor a country to return to and yet he had the audacity to return to his hometown. There were some times that he had wished he was dead, times when he attempted to kill himself for what he had done but he couldn't.

He, Roy Mustang, the one who destroyed a country, killing thousands of people in the process, was actually afraid of the pain of dying. He didn't want to die, at least not yet. He felt as if there's something he has to do, someone he has to meet before he dies. Paradoxically he never even knew what it is, what he was feeling. As if someone was screaming out for his name, telling him to wait.

For the first time, he actually thought he might've gone out of his mind, insane even but he believed that it was true. A part of him wanted to believe and a part of him just scoffed and said something life "Not a chance in the world."

For a while, he thought of actually quitting the army and living life normally however, once again, he acted opposite of what he thought of and instead followed his, shall we say, intuitions. Besides, whoever this is, the only way to find that person is if he remained in the army where he is funded to travel and observe other parts of the world. That is why wherever he went, he always takes a good look around, listening and trying to recognize the voice.

In his mind, he always imaged that feeling connected to a beautiful woman with long ebony black hair, flawless white skin, caring eyes, a heart-warming smile and a kind personality, you know, his dream girl. But then 3 years passed by and he came up with nothing. Maes had actually set him up with a few lovely girls around central but that was not the right person. It didn't feel quite right to him, they were beautiful but his conscience would tell him not to waste his time with them.

He was feeling pretty hopeless after that, could it have been possible that they won't meet in this world after all? Maybe they were to meet in another dimension as crazy as that sounds. If they had to meet in heaven then he'd have to go there because he was an impatient man. He didn't want to wait to be killed or wait for old-age to strike him dead, no, he wanted to meet that person now.

Flashback-

Roy had actually opened the desk drawer and slowly reached out for the gun. He carefully slid his right index finger to pull the trigger, raising his gun to his head. He tightened his grip on the trigger, closing his eyes tightly to brace for the pain. His obsession to meet this person was so high that he's actually ready to take away his life after all this time trying to protect it. A bit more force and he would've been a goner, but the phone rang. Those distracted him, choosing over pulling the trigger now or answer the phone.

In the end, conscience won again. Constantly it told him that it could be a call that would lead him to that person, so after 4 rings, he picked it up and managed to say hello. His voice sounded broken although he was actually trying to make it sound like the normal Roy Mustang. Nevertheless, he managed to stand upright even though he was shaking so badly it made it look as if he was having a spasm.

"Hey Roy." came a familiar, happy voice "It's me Maes. How are you doing there?"

"Better than you're doing there I hope." He replied, leaning against the wall to stop himself from falling. He heard a scoff from the other line accompanied by an unheard insult.

"I'm sorry, what? I didn't quite catch that." Roy inquired, pretending to be cocky.

"Nothing. And what do you mean? I'm having a real blast here in NeoTena. It's full of nice people, comfortable cabins and voluptuous ladies."

"Why did you call me, Maes?" Roy, in an exasperated voice. He was already sitting down on the carpeted floor. He slowly sank down while Maes was talking to him.

"The Fuehrer asked me to tell you that you need to go to Risembool. Hohenheim's wife died and he wanted to extend a condolence to the Elric brother's."

"You mean Hohenheim's children?"

"Yup. Poor boys, their father disappeared one day and now their mother is gone. Since no one knows where Hohenheim is, they're basically orphans now. So are you going?"

"Of course I'm going; it's direct orders from Bradley King himself. Who knows…I may even find…that person."

"Still looking, I see. If it were up to me, I would've married already. You're just wasting your time, Roy. This person might not even exist in this world."

"Trust me; I'd gladly take my own life to talk to whoever that person is. I'll find her…or him…in case it turns out to be a man."

"Well, ok then, if you say so…but Roy, I'd like you to be very careful. I heard a lot of your enemies had been staying at Risembool for quite awhile." Maes warned.

"I'll remember that. Thanks for the information, Hughes. And those Elric brothers…I'll meet them."

End of flashback-

And so he went to Risembool. His thought was actually far away from the Elric brothers and he couldn't care less about their mother. He knew what he had to do. He needed to find that person and that's all he was there for. He arrived at Risembool a little late and the funeral was over. Still, orders were orders, and he had to send condolences to the young children of Hohenheim.

It was raining hard the day he decided to visit the Elric Household. He expected to see a normal house, just like anybody else around the neighborhood, but what he saw next gave him every bit of feeling that that house was filled with nothing but forbidden alchemy and a broken family. So he was late in getting to the funeral, he was also too late to save young innocent kids to attempt something that not even he tried to do.

But he was thankful for that day. Roy was really thankful that he didn't kill himself before, that he didn't give up looking for that person, and that he chose to answer the phone call rather than attempt suicide one more time. It was at that time that he met Edward Elric.

Edward Elric was the 2nd thing that squashed his pride. Ed was actually the only person who can stop him from anything he chose to do. Ed was the glue that held him all-together. He never admitted it openly nor did he show signs but he knew it was there. That person just so happens to be Ed…who knew?

At first, he had thought of Edward and addressed him as the "Full metal alchemist", nothing more than that. Time grew by so fast he didn't even recognize what the hell he was messing around for. Here and there he'd do nothing but try and protect the Elric brothers, specially the eldest of them. Roy wanted it to go unnoticed however some other times he just wants to forget the fact that he was a man…and so was Edward.

Love has different faces. It is sometimes a happy feeling and a soft burn, a gentle touch and a painful sensation, the beginning of life and the end of death, wisdom and stupidity, fabricated and unconditional, happiness and madness, truth and lies, withdrawn or freedom… however, love had one more face. A face everyone neglected that is crucial even when it comes to love…Hate.

TBC-

Author's note:

Hi there people!! I was so touched by the reviews that here is the second chapter of my story. Now if it falls a little bit apart, you're always welcome to give me comments. I need it badly to improve my writing more.

Till then!!!