Title: Delectable Brunets
Author: Demongirl024
Disclaimer: Everything Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Harry Potter (and Professsor Mordicus) belongs to Joss Whedon and J. K. Rowling, respectively.
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Willow was speed-talking as if the world was going to end after dinner, and Buffy was beginning to think that was the case. What else would drive Willow into babble-land, after all. Buffy paused, and glanced over at Oliver, whose blue eyes were twinkling as he was caught looking at her. Buffy averted her eyes, giving Oliver a small smile, and went back to her thoughts, 'When did Willow get the idea to play matchmaker?'
At the back of her mind, Buffy recognized that Willow was talking about the Great Hall they were on their way to, and how Buffy would be sitting next to some type of 'Dumb-Door', her, and Oliver at the teachers' table along with the rest of the faculty.
They had now stopped, Willow was talking, and Buffy was musing about the probability of Willow casting an 'attraction' spell. No, Willow had learnt her lesson after the 'Buffy-and-Spike-almost-get-married' and 'Xander-de-lust' spells. Still, it didn't seem like Willow's matchmaking was so bad after all. On the contrary, Oliver Wood was definitely a cutie, and he had a pulse. Not to mention those eyes.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer sighed. A pair of pretty blue eyes had almost caused an impromptu makeout session with a total stranger.
Willow smiled at Buffy, apparently having finished her Great-Hall description, "so how's Dawnie? Having fun in Hawaii?" Hank Summers had actually made an effort to be with his youngest daughter, and invited Dawn to spend the whole summer with him and his latest squeeze in Hawaii. Buffy highly suspected that this was only because 'Cat' was a fan of children of all ages, and had probably suggested that they take Dawn along as well.
"She's having a great time, apparently. When we last talked, she said that Cat's not actually that bad, and seems to be making more of an effort than dear ole Dad. The other day she took Dawnie on a no-limit shopping-spree, and from Dawnie's list of her new closet-additions, they made a serious dent in Daddy's credit card. Actually, in two of his credit cards," Buffy was ecstatic that her sister was having so much fun, and for some reason wasn't jealous at all. When they had been younger, Buffy had always been jealous of the amount of attention Dawn received from their father, but the realization that Dawn was actually not there for that affection, soon doused her jealousy.
Willow looked very pleased, "So she's not a robot like your Mom's last boyfriend?"
"It is in fashion for muggles to date robots, nowadays?"
"No, it's not. It was a misunderstanding, more like. A misunderstanding in the way that Mr Robot Ted thought that me and my Mom were easy pre-" Buffy suddenly realized that it had not been Oliver that had voiced the question. It had been a man in a painting. He looked as though he had popped a lemon into his mouth and bit down on it without a spoonful of sugar to smoothen the taste.
Buffy gasped, stepped on the edge of Willow's robes, and promptly lost her balance. She would have fallen to the floor had two strong arms not wrapped themselves around her before she could fall too far. Buffy, safely enclosed in Oliver's arms, glared at Willow. If she didn't know better, she would say that Willow had not told her about the talking and moving paintings on purpose, just so that something like this would happen. Nevertheless, Buffy made no attempt to move away from Oliver, and he made no move to release her. Willow simply smiled innocently.
"Like Buffy said, it's not," There was a hint of amusement in Willow's tone and expression as she turned to Buffy, "I didn't mention that the portraits moved, did I? Oh, Buffy. It's marvelous! They know so much! Sometimes, if you can't find something in the library, one of the portraits-"
"Portrait! I'll have you know that I was once a perfectly normal, human, living and breathing wizard! I shall not have anyone, no matter how important a Professor they are, call me a portrait. You may address me as Professor Mordicus Egg, author of 'The Philosophy of the Mundane: Why Muggles Prefer Not to Know.' "
Willow grimaced, "I'm sorry, Professor. It's just that my friend here has never been to Hogwarts before, and I needed to use a word that would describe the portrai- witches and wizards in the paintings in general."
"Really, Professor Rosenberg. Bringing muggles into Hogwarts. You know, if you would just read my book, you'll find that muggles only prefer not to know when they have not been directly inside the castle. Once they are inside, nothing short of an obliviatus charm will remove them from the premises!"
Buffy had by now refocused her glare on Professor Egg, and looked like she was about to say something rude, but Oliver chose that moment to wrap his arms around her waist, and rest his chin on her shoulder, instead coaxing a sigh out of Buffy.
Willow cast a worried glance back at Buffy, evidently checking to see that Buffy had not pulled out any weapons, and her frown quickly turned into a wide grin at how Buffy and Oliver were standing. She quickly turned away, hoping her expression had not been caught, and her frown reappeared as she noticed that Professor Egg had disappeared.
Buffy looked at the painting over Willow's shoulder, and tilted her head to the side slightly, "That method of rumor-passing is even more effective than the Queen-C method."
Willow nodded in sympathy, and her brows furrowed even more, "For someone who wrote a well-known book about muggles, I thought he'd be more friendly when one came up to him. Not that you're a muggle of course, I mean, slayer-y magick, hello?"
Buffy made a vague noise of agreement, and concentrated on the feel of Oliver's arms around her. However, as soon as she was beginning to relax and enjoy herself, Willow jumped up, apparently she had just remembered something.
"Oh! Buffy, Oliver, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I've forgotten my.. my hat! Oliver, you know how important my hat is to me, don't you? And you'll take Buffy to the Great Hall, won't you? Oh, and I just want to remind you, like I told you earlier; Buffy, you'll be sitting next to Professor Dumbledore, he wants to ask you some questions about your slaying."
Buffy realized that this was one of the things Willow had been telling her while she was thinking about attraction spells.
"And you know what? Since my hat is so important to me, I have to run to my room and get it back. A hatless Willow is a naked Willow! At- at least a semi-naked Willow! You know, with clothes, but.. without a hat."
Buffy was staring at Willow in by the time Willow had reached that sentence, and her eyes narrowed in suspicion.
"Willow, you don't like ha-," Buffy sighed. Willow was already gone, "Well, at least one thing hasn't changed."
Oliver, who had been silent so far, looked at Buffy in curiosity, "An' what's that?"
"Willow is still a terrible liar."
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Thanks for reading, feedback would be wonderful. I'd also like to thank you lovely people for telling me Buffy and Willows' ages. I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't very good, my English teachers always told me that I put too much dialogue into my stories.