Chapter 6
Ashley's POV
The days when Spencer wasn't in school were the longest days of my life. I can't believe that I went to this school for the past two years not really talking to anyone. I was lonely and I didn't even realize it. Without Spencer there at lunch and in class to occupy my thoughts, my mind wandered uncontrollably all leading back to the same topic. Was I gay? I had struggled with this issue before, but…….then Aiden…….and Emma. I haven't really thought about it in years. I can't concentrate. It is all I think about. I need to tell Spencer how I feel. I just hope that she feels the same way about me.
As I sat in English class waiting for the bell the ring, I smiled when I remembered that Spencer would be returning to school today. I needed to talk to her. I called the babysitter and arranged for her to watch Emma after school. I needed Spencer to come back to my place after school. I was dreading this conversation, but at the same time I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next. My thoughts were interrupted when my favorite blonde snuck up behind me.
"Hey." She said this very sweetly, but there was a slight flirty tone to the way she said it.
"Hey yourself. So, are you still grounded or do you think you could sneak away to my house after school."
"What about Emma?"
"Babysitter. Please Spencer, we really need to talk."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Spencer's POV
Oh man. I wonder where she is going with this. I mean there are a million different scenarios that come to my mind. I know what I want to talk about with her. But she couldn't want that too. Could she? Ok Spence, think positive.
"Ya I can sneak away for a couple hours." I smiled at her and she smiled back. The teacher told us to take out our notes from the previous night's readings. Ashley motioned for me to share with her, since I didn't have mine because I wasn't in school. I moved my chair next to her, and I was inches away from her body. We both reached to turn the page and my arm grazed against hers. This sent shivers throughout my body and I shook my head, causing my bangs to fall in my face. Ashley leaned over and brushed them out of my face and tucked them behind my ear. My breathing was getting faster and faster and I was so close to her face that I could hear her breathing. I couldn't hear anything else in the whole room, just the smooth, steady breathing of the most beautiful girl in the whole world. I leaned in a little closer and our lips were almost touching when--
"Miss Carlin, why don't you pay a little more attention to the notes, and a little less attention to Miss Davies." Ashley and I jumped apart and my cheeks turned bright red. The class snickered quietly and I turned away from Ashley and pretended that I needed something from my bag. When I looked back up Ashley was facing the window and we spent the rest of the class period barely making eye contact. When the bell rang everyone dashed out of the classroom, and in all the commotion I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to Ashley and make sure that we were still ok. I ran out of the class and followed her down the hall.
"Ashley!" I screamed as I chased her. She turned around and stopped, giving me a chance to run and catch up to her. As I reached her I slowed down and I fully took in her beauty, so much so that when I reached her I had a huge smile plastered on my face.
"Ash, so I will still see you after school……right?"
"You bet. Sorry I really have to get to class. I'll talk to you later Spence." She waved goodbye and dashed back into the crowd. I sighed and decided that I should probably get to class as well.
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Ashley's POV
Oh my gosh!!!! I almost kissed Spencer!!!!!! Ashley what are you doing? You can't date her. She doesn't even like you like that……does she? I need to talk to her so bad. When I pushed her hair behind her face I knew she felt what I felt. Spencer Carlin is the best thing to come into my life in a long time and I wasn't going to let her get away. All will be revealed….this afternoon.
The day went by slowly. I didn't see Spencer at lunch. Was she avoiding me? No…she was the one who asked if we were still ok, and I said yes. This is all so confusing and complicated. I sat down next to the tree that had become our lunch spot and began to stare into space. I just sat there thinking about my life and what it would be like to have Spencer in it. She makes me laugh, and smile, and I feel safe when I am with her. And she gets along with Emma. Emma…….what was I going to do about Emma. I was raising her on my own, with no male figure in her life. And then I start dating GIRLS?! I was going to have to teach Emma that it was ok. She is so little and she loves me. I just don't want to screw anything up with her. What if it doesn't work out with Spencer? I don't want Emma to have to watch me go from relationship to relationship. I was going to marry Aiden. I was going to marry Aiden. Did I even love Aiden? Of course you did Ash……don't even think like that. As lunch came to a close I tried to clear my head…..but I couldn't. I needed Spencer and I needed her now!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Spencer's POV
I decided to give Ashley some space during lunch. I knew we would have to talk this afternoon, but I wanted her to have time to clear her head first. She was so vulnerable and if we started dating and people didn't accept her…..I think she would brake. I didn't want her to have to deal with the stares and the pointing and the disapproving glances. I put up with so much last year. But still every time it happens……..a part of me dies. When you say to yourself that it doesn't mean anything and that it doesn't bother you…..you are lying. I have tried so hard not to let it get to me but what if they do it to Ashley. Her life is so hard already. I don't want to make it harder for her and Emma. But I don't know if I can ignore the feelings that I have for Ashley. I have only known her for less than a month, but with her everything is different. She isn't like other girls that I have dated or had drunken one night stands with. She is different. I love how all of this is new to her, but at the same time I am scared that I am not good enough for her and Emma. They deserve so much, but do I really have what they need? What she needs?
After school I went to the parking lot and I saw her leaning against her car waiting for me. I already told Clay that I was going to her house after school. He told me again to be careful and not to get my heart broken. I love Clay. I knew that he would like Ashley, and I promised myself that I would introduce her to him sometime soon.
"So, are you ready to go?" She called over to me as I made my way to her car.
"Yup. Your house awaits." The ride to her car was silent and I knew she had a lot on her mind. Every now and then I would catch her staring at me, but I would pretend I didn't notice. She was so cute when she was embarrassed. As we pulled into her driveway I mentally prepared myself for whatever was to come, whether it is good or bad. I really hope that it will be good.
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Ashley's POV
Ok Ash this is it. The conversation that you have been waiting for all day. Oh man, now that it is here I want it to go away. No, no Ashley you need to do this. Suck it up and invite her into your house.
"So……..my room?" I said hesitantly, while looking at my shoes which all of a sudden seemed very interesting.
"Sure." She followed me into my house and up to my room. When we got there I sat down on my bed and she followed, sitting down beside me. I looked up and was met with the most understanding eyes I have ever seen.
"So…..you said you needed to talk to me?" Crap. Ok…breathe Ashley…..just breathe.
"Yes….um…..I……….."
"Ashley whatever it is it's ok, you can tell me." Her voice was so loving and caring. She leaned over so that she was closer to me on the bed and she looked at me waiting for me to speak. It's now or never.
"I……um…………IlikeyouSpencer."
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Spencer's POV
YES YES YES!!!! She likes me…she really likes me!!!!! I was so happy I couldn't think. I sat there staring at her, and then I realized that I hadn't said anything in a while. SPENCER SAY SOMETHING!!!
"Look, Spencer I didn't mean it like that. I um I mean I like you as a friend. I could never like you like that because you are my friend and I have a kid and I like bo-"
I placed a soft kiss on her lips silencing her rambling. At first she just sat there and then after a second she leaned into the kiss and deepened it. Her lips were so soft and they tasted like candy. The kiss only lasted a few seconds but it felt like a lifetime. When I broke away from the kiss she had the biggest smile on her face and I knew I had done the right thing. She looked so happy and I wanted to keep her like that, in that exact moment, forever.
"So, does this mean you like me too?" She said this very timidly, and I knew that everything was scary for her.
"Yes Ashley, I like you too." She smiled and leaned over and kissed me again on the lips. This kiss lasted longer than the first one and I let her decide how far she wanted to go. She moved her tongue inside my mouth and I caressed her face in my hands. When she ended the kiss she leaned over and hugged me as a small tear escaped her face. Oh no? Did I do something wrong?
"Ash what is it? Was that not ok?"
"No, it was fine, actually it was great. It's just…..I have waited for this for so long and now that it's here…I'm just really really happy."
I smiled and hugged her even harder. Ashley was the most amazing person I had ever met and I knew that I was not going to let this one ever get away.
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Please review for more updates. The next chapter is going to be their first date and Ashley is going to explain to Emma that it is ok for girls to like other girls. I am really enjoying this fic and I hope that you guys are too!