Chapter 43: Live With Choices

Gendo's Office

"What the hell is your problem! We just got back and you drag us away? You bruised my wrist!" Asuka was – to say the least – pissed.

"My problem? I trusted you two to go on an unsupervised vacation, risking a sin attack without your presents, and you pull this! From this point on, Shinji will live with Misato, while Asuka stays where she is." Why?

"What are you talking about?" He looked up, and I was able to see the fire in his eyes even through his tinted glasses.

"I'm talking about the fact that you two had sex!" How did he know!

"What… are you…" I try to talk, but I couldn't get the words out.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" he reaches in his pocket and throws a few pictures of me and Asuka in… various positions.

"You pervert! What did you do, stalk us?" No, HE didn't but section two did.

"That is none of your concern! Shinji, go pack your things, you're leaving right now!" I just stand there for a couple of seconds, "Fine, if you won't go willingly, you will be forced." Just then three huge guys come in and grab me. I try to struggle, but I was easily overpowered. They haul me into the car and drive off. I calm down pretty quick; I was just going to get hurt. When we finally get to the apartment, they open the door and throw me inside.

"M-Misato?" I was actually out of breath. The door made a locking noise. I'm in here to stay. I couldn't see her anywhere, "Misato? You home?" I started to get closer to her room, "Damn! What's that smell!" it was horrible! I knew she was messy, but this was really bad! "Misato!" still no answer. No-one was in her room. I just wander the house until I get to a closed bathroom door with a note taped on it.

Shinji and Asuka,

I want to say sorry for how I have been acting. I DO see you as my children, and I greatly regret how I treated the two of you. After all I put you through; I don't expect you to forgive me. Just in the short amount of time we lived together, I had so many good times, so many laughs, and so many memories. Please, I'm asking you with all of my heart to not forget, but to forgive. I know you have heard this speech before; empty promises, and – in your opinion – empty feelings. Please, I want you both to know that I love you two very much, and I will never forget how I made you feel. Stay together, whether you admit it or not, you need each other. Don't ever think otherwise. I love you two more than you'll ever know. Thank you.

Misato

I was… scared to say the least. I slowly open the door to find her clothes neatly folded on the counter. I slowly walk around the small wall to find her in the bathtub, up to her chest in dark red water. A knife lay on the ground beside an arm dangling over the side of the tub.

"Mis… ato? Misato!"

---

NERV – Gendo's Office

I was in no mood to talk. Unfortunately, Gendo was.

"Okay, due to the Major's… death… Shinji will be living in a separate room, but still in NERV. You'll be taken to your room now," Asuka wasn't here. She was probably in her room. I was 'escorted' to my new room and I put my clothes in my dresser.

"God… why do I feel this way?" I knew Misato was dead, and I accepted that. What disturbed me was the fact that I didn't really care. I mean, sure, I LIKED her, but I didn't – and never did – love her. I tried to deny it, but in reality… I'm actually… glad she's gone, "What the hell is your problem!" I punch the wall in frustration, leaving a large dent in it. I just couldn't feel the pain. I WAS turning into Gendo. I didn't care – hell, I was glad – that Misato was gone. I just lay down on the bed, my hand now throbbing, and try to fall asleep. Unfortunately, this was impossible. I slept fifteen hours on the plane, and that was more than enough to keep me up all night. My phone rings, and I reach for it, "What?" I sounded like my father. Crap.

"Whoa! Calm down, it's me;" it was Asuka, "are you okay? You sound weird."

"No… no, I'm not okay. Misato… she's… gone." I heard a slight laugh on the other side of the line.

"Where did she run off to? God, can't she ever face her problems? Pathetic!" not what I meant.

"No… she's dead," this time it was a gasp, "I found her in the bathtub with slit wrists. She left a note, I'll give it to you later." She was silent for awhile.

"Shinji… are you sure you're okay?" actually…

"That's what's so bad about it! Asuka, I'm actually glad she's gone! I can't believe it, but I'm happy she's gone! God! I'm such a sick bastard!" she whimpers a little.

"Calm down, just… stay calm. I'm not too sure what you're feeling right now, but you have to move on quickly. We can't have you running away like last time, can we?" she is trying to cheer me up. In truth, I was just happy to hear her voice, "Look, just meet me in the cafeteria tomorrow. We'll talk about this. I'm going to bed, night, have a good sleep." I could tell she didn't want to talk about it anymore. I heard a click and I put down the phone. Being a little more relaxed, I was able to get to sleep.

A/N- Sorry to all the Misato lovers out there! I'll have a funeral for her and Rei later. Do you think Shinji will just brush this off? Find out in the next chapter; Late, until then, keep on keepin' on!