Nothing Will Ever Change That
Disclaimer- I do not own anything to do with NGE.
Chapter 55: Surveillance
NERV – Elevator
I was taking Asuka to Akagi's so she could be put under a close eye. I just couldn't believe that she would pull something like this. What was she thinking?
"Shinji…" turn my head and glare at her, "I-I… don't know…how…" now who was the bad liar?
"Bull! You know damn well what you were doing! You know what's bothering me the most? The fact that you didn't come to me for help! You knew that I would have been there for you, but now you've turned it into something serious. What made you not tell me? Was it that you thought I would shun you? Was it just that you were ashamed? Or was it your pride again?" she just stood there, looking at the floor, "This is what I mean! If you can't even talk to me, how the hell are we going to raise a child! How long have you been planning this? WHY were you planning this?" she didn't avert her stare to the floor, and waited a few seconds, "I asked you a question!" the doors to the elevator opened to reveal a few men, who slowly crept away at the sight.
"I don't know! I just don't know! I felt overwhelmed… I just couldn't take it anymore…" she couldn't take it? She thought that she was the only one in this.
"Then why didn't you talk to me? You know I would have listened, and you know I would have helped," at least, I hope she did.
"I… didn't want… you to worry," that wasn't an answer!
"You didn't want me to worry! How do you think I feel now, huh? In case you can't tell, I'm scared out of my mind! I almost lost you AND our child! You did know that you'd be killing the baby, right? How did you justify that?" she still hasn't looked away from that one spot on the ground. "Look at me…" still, nothing. I put my hand on her chin; rising her to eye level, "Look at me when I'm talking…" her eyes were full of tears.
"Please… don't take me to her…" then what was I supposed to do?
"Well I have to do something. If you think I'm just going to brush this off, you're crazy. Fine, you don't have to go to Akagi's, but you have to follow MY rules now," she nodded slightly, "Okay, for one, I put the same camera in your room as you did with me and Sam. Second, I will be going everywhere with you outside of NERV. Third, I clean out your room and take out whatever I think is necessary," she jumped a little at the last one, "take it or leave it." I knew that having rules set was killing her – and it did me too – but I had to do something.
"F-fine… as long as you don't tell anyone, not even Hikari. Nobody," she didn't want her sign of weakness to make itself public.
"Okay, we'll go back now." The elevator was just reaching the floor we needed, but now we had to go back. As I press the button, she speaks up again.
"Thank you…" it was barely above a mumble, but I heard it crystal clear.
"Don't thank me. I let it go this far, this is my fault. I AM going to fix it though," I should have seen the signs; I should have followed Akagi's warnings. I didn't, and I almost paid for it.
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The Next Day – Asuka's Room
I didn't care what Gendo said, I had to be with her. Last night, I didn't go back to my room, I was just too scared to leave her. This morning when I woke up, she was still asleep. I got up slowly out of bed and began my renovations I didn't allow any ropes, sharp objects, or anything that even resembled the two. I was cleaning out under her bed, when I found yet another object that made me queasy.
"Where the hell do you keep getting these?" now I had found two weapons; a 9mm and a hunting knife. Both – I was sure – were going to be used by her eventually. I put the knife in my back pocket and go about my business. I already knew the rule 'Never go through a girl's room!' that the guys at school would joke about, but I thought that it was just that, a joke. Never thought I'd find enough weapons to stop a grizzly.
"What are you… ah shit…" she saw that I found the other weapon, "I swear! I was going to tell you!" I just can't trust her anymore, even if I wanted too.
"Uh huh… whatever," I didn't want excuses.
"Don't 'whatever' me! You know I hate that!" not a time to piss me off.
"You hate it? You know what I hate? I hate almost losing the only person that has ever loved me and my child! I also hate being lied to! Now tell me again what you hate!" she just sat in bed with a blank stare, "Yeah, that's what I thought – speechless." I go back to cleaning out her room when she spoke up after a few minutes.
"I hate not being trusted…" I didn't think it was meant to be heard, but I did.
"Then earn the trust! Asuka, give me one reason that I should trust you now! Just one!" she just sat there staring at the wall in front of her, "See? I used to trust you with my life, but now I can't even trust you with your own life! How do you think that makes me feel, huh?" her blank stare didn't retreat.
"It was a moment of weakness… I won't let it happen again. If anything, you can trust that," she said the last part with a little emotion.
"But what if it does?" she looked at me – finally – with those beautiful blue eyes, "Ugh… fine, I'll give you one month under my watch. If you don't try anything, I'll leave you alone. Deal?" she let out a soft sigh.
"Deal… it'll be nice to have a watch-dog for awhile," the first time I saw her smile in awhile was right then, "oh, and don't be mad, but look in my closet, near my shirts," another one!
"Asuka! How many weapons do you have!" She shook her head and pointed to the closet. I open it, and look to the right of where her shirts were nicely folded, "where… did you get this?" under a pile of shoes, I saw a silver frame with a picture of us sharing a kiss at the beach. 'Nothing Will Ever Change This' was engraved on the bottom.
"I got it when they thought you died. I thought that you might want it back," I walk over to her with the frame in hand.
"Nah, you keep it," I set it up on the near-by dresser; "it'll remind you of what we have." She blushed a little at this. I've never seen her blush in my life, so this must have meant a lot to her.
"Thanks…" I've never seen this side of her before; so loving, so calm, and actually acting really nice. I lean down and kiss her lightly on the lips, and walk off. I wasn't too worried about her now – not to say I didn't have the camera up. I close the door with confidence of the fact that she won't do anything. I walk back into my room to see Gahiji playing the game again.
"Where were you last night?" I don't answer, "Its cool. Hey, I've been meaning to ask you, who is the father of Asuka's baby? I didn't want to ask her, so I was wondering if you knew." You think he would have picked it up! Wonder if I was that clueless when I was twelve…
"Well… uh… I'll give you a hint; you know him, and he's a pilot." He jumped out of his skin. Was I really that dense?
"Are you serious! Man, poor Asuka… how is she taking it?" what is he talking about? Wait…
"No! Not Cass! Sam was the one that dated Cass!" damn!
"Well then who?" good God! Was this kid supposed to save the world! I walk in front of him and point to my face, "Enough with the hints man! Wait… are you…?" I nod furiously, "no way! You got her pregnant! Are you two dating? But you guys are complete opposites!" it's about damn time!
"Well, yeah, that's the reason we're attracted to each other. Man, how did you not know? There were signs ya know; holding hands, sitting together, KISSING!" he laughed a little.
"Heh, sorry, I'm not too good with that kind of stuff. So… when did it happen?" this is just getting wrong.
"Man! That's messed up! You're too young anyway," he was only twelve!
"Oh, come on!" I don't say anything, hoping that he will drop it, "Fine, but don't act like I'm four. You act like I don't know HOW it happens," well now I felt bad! He wasn't even a teenager though, so I just didn't feel comfortable with it.
"Sorry, but you need to learn how to present yourself. You just don't ask when people had sex, it's not appropriate." He really was young, wasn't he?
"Okay, my bad. You wanna play?" I grab a controller and try to relax. I didn't want to think about Asuka, but I couldn't help it. After I die on the game – it was intentional – I go to check on the monitor I had set up to the camera. It was completely black…
"Crap!" assuming the worst, I go running into her room… a big mistake. My heart sank at what I saw…
A/N- So, do you think Asuka will keep her promise? What did he see? Did Asuka commit the unthinkable? Find out in the next chapter; She's Gone…, until then, keep on keepin' on!