Nothing Will Ever Change That

Disclaimer- I do not own anything to do with NGE.

Chapter 56: She's Gone…

Asuka's Room

"Get out! What the hell are you doing!" I slam the door shut. Turns out she was changing into different clothes. "Damn! You can come in now! How many times do I have to tell you to knock!" I walk back in and see her under the covers of her bed.

"S-sorry… I just thought that…" she cut me off.

"You just thought that I was killing myself, is that it? I told you I wouldn't do it! I put a shirt over the camera so you didn't watch me getting dressed!" I saw that she was right about the shirt over the camera, "Is that it? If so, you can leave now!" I walk away as fast as I can. I gotta be more careful at what I do from now on. I go back into my room to see Gahiji giggling.

"Just shut up…" he stopped giggling, but I knew he was smiling.

"Nice…" I heard him mutter. Looks like his hormones are starting up a little early. Soon enough, he'll be freaking out! Man, now that I think back to it, when I was thirteen, I had one hell of a time. I mean, I know that my chemical balance is still out-of-whack, but not anything like back then. When I think about what I thought back then… I made a decision about my new roommate. With that, I go in and set an internal lock on the monitor.

"Keep your eyes off Asuka…" I knew he didn't hear it – and he wasn't supposed to – but it made me feel better about it. I go back out into the living room – there were only two rooms, the living room and an extra room – to see him playing the game again. I wasn't really in the mood to play, so I just fall back on my bed and close my eyes.

---

One Hour Later

"Asuka? Hello?" I was in the NERV hallways looking for Asuka. I couldn't find her anywhere, she wasn't in her room, not in my room, or even Sam's room. I had no idea. In fact, Gahiji was gone too. I go into Sam's room to see her sitting on the floor. "Sam? Are you…" she whips around her head to reveal a bloody fore-head. "Whoa! Sam!" I run over to her and put a hand over the bloody spot, "What happened?" I looked into her grey eyes… but… they weren't…

"Asuka… she tried to kill me…" her eyes… they were green again… what she just said barely processed in my brain.

"Sam… your- wait… what! Asuka did what?" she points to a bat lying on the other side of the room. Did she really try to kill Sam? I knew she was planning it for herself, but Sam was her friend, "Where did she go?" Sam pointed to the hallway.

"To the right…" I jumped up and ran out. I basically am looking for her in the dark here. I had no idea where to look, so I just opened every door that passed me. If they were locked, I would just knock, and if no-one answered, I would just kick it down. Turns out I was strong enough to even do that! I eventually got to a room with a black door.

"Asuka! Are you in there!" no answer, "Asuka!" still, no answer. I once again kick down a door, "Oh my God!" there, on the floor, laid Asuka. A large, deep gash crossed her neck, and blood was pooling around her head. Her eyes were still open, staring at the ceiling. I stumble backwards, and fall down at what I see; "A-Asuka…" a knife is still in her hand. I can't breath, I can't even blink, all I can do is stare at the mother of my child laying on the floor dead. I feel tears starting to run down my face, then fall onto my lap. I try to get up and just run, but all I can manage was a backward-crawl towards the door. I get into the hallway to see Akagi standing there.

"Oh, hi Shinji. You okay? Shinji… what's wrong?" I just stare up at her with wide, teary eyes. I manage to lift a hand and point into the room, "What is… oh God!" she runs inside of the room and leans down beside Asuka. Ritsuko grabs a wrist… and begins to cry herself.

"I-Is s-she…" I can barely talk. Akagi looks up at me and walks over. She leans down and hugs me.

"I'm so sorry… come on…" she helps me to my feet and takes my hand. We begin to walk away; I get one last look at Asuka.

---

Akagi's Office

"Shinji… why would she do this?" I was obviously in no mood to talk. I just sat there and listened, "I thought you said that she was doing fine, if so, then what happened?" it was then I realized something… this was my fault. I let her talk me into a bad judgment, and I left her alone.

"It's… my fault…" she then had a confused look on her face, "I knew that she tried this before… but I let it go…" she jumped up out of her seat.

"What! I told you to bring her to me if that were to happen! Shinji, how could you do this? You knew the dangers of depression, and you just LET IT GO! You do realize what you've done, right?" I once again feel a steady stream of tears rolling down my face.

"Y-Yes…" was all I could mutter.

"Then why did you… forget it. The only thing we need to worry about right now is what to do at this point." What was there to do? I was done… I couldn't live without her. I just sat there, eventually; she gets up with a sigh and leaves. I soon get up too, and head to the room with Asuka. the door was still open, so I walk in to find her still there. All of the color is out of her skin, and her eyes were now grey. The blood has now soaked into the rug, leaving a huge red blob on the floor.

"Asuka…" I can barely even hear myself as I talk. I lay down next to her and close my eyes once again.

---

Twenty Minutes Later

"Shinji? Shinji, wake up," I heard a girl's voice. I slowly open my eyes to see Sam standing there with bandages on her head.

"Sam? Oh… hey…" she stood there with her eyes closed. Maybe I imagined her green eyes.

"Shinji, get up, your getting all messy." Messy? What was she talking about? "Your shirt," I look down to see that I was soaked in blood. I leap up and tear off the shirt. I can't believe that just happened… "Come on," she takes my wrist and drags me to her room. "Sit down," she points to the bed. Sam was acting weird… even for a girl that just got beat over the head with a bat. She walks over to me and just stands there in front of me.

"What… is it?" my voice was obviously hurting. I was on no mood to talk; I just wanted to be alone… no, I wanted to be with Asuka.

"Nothing…" she slowly puts each of her legs on either side of mine. Sam then sits down on my lap.

"What… are you doing!" what the hell! She wraps her arms around my neck, and leans in slightly.

"Come on… just relax…" she leans in so our lips are almost touching, "just… relax…" she leans in all the way, and embraces me in a tight kiss. I try to pull back, but she holds me tight. Eventually, she lets up.

"What the hell are you doing!" she just smiled, "Sam! Did you not just see Asuka DEAD!" even I shuddered at the last part. She started to lean in again, but I pushed her off, sending her falling to the floor.

"Ah! Shinji, why are you being so mean?" Was she being serious?

"Me! What were you just doing?" she smiled again, "Sam! Why did you do that?"

"Because I want it. Come on Shinji, just once…" she gets up and walks over to me. Just once what? She gets over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder, "I know you want to," she kind of sounded like Asuka when… wait…

"Whoa! Sam! Do you know what you're saying?" she nodded, "I'm sorry, but I can't…" she put a finger on my lips.

"Yes you can… you did it with Asuka… you can do it with me. It'll make you feel better," Sam runs a finger across my bare chest, "just relax…" she began to rub her hands on my chest, then slowly move down.

"Sam… stop…" I've never know her to be like this, so pushy, so needing. Was she like this with Cass? I just can't imagine them actually DOING anything, but apparently, I was wrong.

"But we both want it… I do, and I know you do…" her hands reach my hips, and then stop.

"No, I don't. I really don't want to. I'm sorry, but I can't do this for you," she leans forward and kisses my neck.

"Yes you can," for reasons I will never know, I don't stop her.

---

Sam's Room – Morning

"Shinji, wake up," I heard Sam talking while she nudged my body.

"Huh? Oh, hi Sa- oh my God…" I just realized what had happened last night. I was still in her bed.

"Oh, so you're telling me you didn't like it? You've fallen before me Shinji, you're mine now," she giggles a little before speaking again, "Heh… I guess you could say that you've fallen for Lust…"

A/N- Sorry, no comment for this chapter. I really can't say much without spoiling the next chapter. Well, until you read the next chapter; Last One, keep on keepin' on!