Nothing Will Ever Change That
Chapter 62: Please Sing
A/N- You know what I noticed? Not a single one of you acknowledged the fact that Asuka and Shinji are getting married! There has been 170 pages working up to that, and you don't even comment on it! Come on! Whatever, here's the next chapter, enjoy!
NERV Hospital – Delivery Room
"Shinji! What the hell is going on? Where's Dietlinde?" I'm just now walking into the room, and she's already asking me.
"Asuka… she's…" her face went pale, "Dietlinde's fine, but there are… some complications. The premature birth has affected her." Just then, Akagi walks in.
"Dietlinde hasn't developed full lungs, heart, or skeletal structure. For the time being, we have her on a life support system, and she is stable," I saw her on the life support, it was a small plastic box with wires and tubes going in and out of her body. A pair of gloves stuck out of the box, apparently for contact with the child.
"But… she'll be okay, right?" Asuka has a begging look on her face. Nobody answers, and she blows up, "Talk to me! Is my baby going to be okay! Tell me the truth!"
"You want the truth? The truth is that there is no guarantee that she will live. The truth is that you might lose her!" Damn! What the hell was wrong with Ritsuko? She wasn't exactly being friendly about this. Asuka instantly broke down in tears. I go over and hug her.
"Shinji… I can't lose her…" she wraps her arms around me.
"I know… she'll be fine, don't worry," the truth was that I couldn't stand to lose her either. Even though I've only seen her once, she's a permanent scar in my heart.
"This is all my fault… you told me not to fight…" I lean back and look into her eyes.
"No… this isn't your fault. You shouldn't have been out there in the first place," I knew who was to blame. Once again, she buries her head in my shirt and sobs.
"Do you want to see her?" Akagi spoke up in a harsh tone. What was her problem? Why was she being so heartless about this? Asuka pulled away from me and yelled.
"Yes! Take me to her now!" Ritsuko ordered for a stretcher to come and pick Asuka up, and we were off. The walk there was silent, and painfully awkward. When we finally got to the room, Asuka damn near jumped out of the bed. There in the box was our baby hooked up to a life support system.
"There she is," Akagi was starting to get on my nerves. Asuka's eyes were wide and her face was pale, "You want to hold her?" we were able to do that? Asuka slowly nodded, "Okay, just put your hands in the gloves and then you can make contact with her. Remember, she isn't fully developed, so be careful." Asuka slowly reached into the box and picked up the weak child. She opened her eyes to reveal those same blue eyes as Asuka's. a small patch of red hair was atop her head. Dietlinde definitely took after Asuka, I couldn't even see a trace of myself in her. I was okay with it though, I knew that she would grow up to be just as beautiful as Asuka. Asuka was looking into our baby's eyes, and the same went for Dietlinde. The mother and child were simply staring at each other, as if they were talking. That was one of the sights that would never leave my mind. Asuka closed her eyes and began to hum the same tune as when I was unconscious, and she was smiling not too long after. The child soon closed its eyes too, and was fast asleep. I couldn't help but smile at this sight.
"Shinji?" Asuka turned and looked at me, "Why don't you hold her for awhile?" she was going to give her up? That was fairly surprising. Asuka put Dietlinde down and moved out of the way. Trying to be as careful as I can, I slowly pick her up. Her eyes shot open as she examined the new person towering over her. I just smile down on her, and that seemed to calm the child. She relaxed in my hands, but didn't avert her stare from me. She was so small and looked so weak. I was able to see so much of Asuka in her that it made me grow attached to her instantly. This was our child, and nothing could ever take that away. We were going to raise her together, and enjoy every second of it. Eventually, she looked at Asuka from across the room and put up one arm in the direction of Asuka. She almost shed a tear at this, but instead she just reached over to the box. A mother and child; the closest bond you can have. I pass her back over to Asuka and just stand back. I'd rather see them together anyway. Asuka began to hum that wonderful melody again as Dietlinde let out a content sigh and closed her eyes. This heaven for us lasted for ten minutes, which is when Akagi once again cut in.
"Okay, you both need to get some sleep. Come on Asuka, I'll take you to your room." I could tell that she didn't want to leave, but she put down our baby and was rolled away without resistance. I follow the two women into a new hospital room where Ritsuko leaves the rolling bed. She then leaves without a word.
"How are you feeling?" might as well start a conversation, even if it was a stupid one. Asuka just got done giving birth, and I'm asking how she feels… no, that doesn't sound stupid.
"Mentally? Great, but physically, I feel like hell. You know that feeling you get after being hit by a train?" she chuckled a little, and so did I, "But seriously, that was amazing. I loved to have her in my arms; it felt like the moment lasted forever. Somehow, I just know that she'll be fine; that we'll be fine." She sounded confident.
"Asuka? I've been meaning to ask you something; what is that song you keep humming? It's beautiful," she chuckles a little.
"It's just an old German children's song my mother used to sing to me," she was talking about her mother again, "I think that by me singing it, I'm holding on to what's left of my history. I don't have much to remember from my time living there, so I hold on to what I can." She was holding on to her history? What was that supposed to mean?
"Are… there any words to it?" I was curious now. What little I hear of her past, I like to know as much as I can.
"Yeah, kind of… but you don't want to hear me sing, not the best thing in the world," she sounded like she was joking, but I did want to hear them.
"Yes it is," she blushed a little, "Please? Just once, for me?" with a sigh, she closed her eyes and began to sing. I didn't understand one word of the German song, but it was beautiful. I really had no idea that she could sing like that, it was so calming. The song ended a few minutes later with a graceful high note. "Wow… amazing…" she opened her eyes again and met mine.
"Don't lie, I can't sing worth crap," was she kidding?
"No, really, that was beautiful. I loved it. How can you not think that you can't sing?" she developed a blank stare.
"Seriously, stop." What was the sudden change in mood for? "I… don't like to hear about my singing…" not wanting to set off a fuse, I dropped it… for now.
"Sorry… um… so, how does it feel to be a parent?" she gets her former look of happiness.
"God… I can't even describe it," I never thought anything could make Asuka speechless, "Even seeing her in that thing didn't affect how I felt. All there was in this world was me and her, nothing else." She really was becoming a mother.
"Yeah, same here. You're starting to sound like a mother! It's kinda cute!" she chuckled a little. I could tell that she was exhausted; her eyes were barely half open.
"You know, I never thought I would ever have a child. In fact, I used to cringe at the thought. Whenever I would start my cycle, I would curse the fact that I was even able to bare children. Now look at me, I just got done giving birth and holding our child. Who would have thought this would be me at sixteen…" she closed her eyes, and was fast asleep.
"Sleep well Asuka, you deserve it," with a quick kiss on her forehead I walk off. Out side of the room was Akagi standing there. I close the door behind me and speak to her, "You need something?"
"No, I just came to check on Asuka. How's she doing?" She seemed to be back to normal.
"Asuka's fine just tired. She's asleep right now," Akagi starts to open the door to her room, "Whoa! Hold on, she's finally asleep, don't wake her up. Right now, all she needs is rest." Ritsuko turns and looks at me.
"No, what she needs is my help! During labor, she passed out four times! Four times Shinji! Do you know what that could have done to her brain? I need to check up on her to make sure that she's okay!" she passed out?
"How… did she pass out? What happened to her?" she rolled her eyes and began to rant again.
"I tried to tell her to breathe, and she didn't! That stubborn bitch didn't listen to a word I said, and paid for it!" bitch? Where was this coming from?
"What the hell is your problem? Ever since you took Dietlinde, you've been acting like a heartless demon! What happened? This isn't the caring, helpful, loving Ritsuko I know!" at this point I was staring her down. I wasn't a five and a half foot kid anymore; I was actually able to look down on her… and apparently intimidate her.
"I don't… look, I'm sorry, its just that… never mind…" she was finally about to break.
"Ritsuko, what happened?" she started to walk away, "Hey, don't leave!" I grab her wrist, "Tell me what happened!" I saw a few tears form in her eyes.
"Shinji… you have to know something about Asuka…" this… caught my attention to say the least, "Before you came in, a few complications arose. After she passed out for the last time, her heart began to slow down. Her heart-rate went down to 34 beats per minute. The truth is that she should be dead! She never asked for you, I just wanted you to see her one last time," dead? She was going to die?
"But… she seemed fine when I saw her…" she glared at me.
"You know Asuka; she never shows any signs of weakness, so she didn't say anything." I almost fell to my knees, what if she had died? God… I don't know what I would have done… "Look, I need to check up on her! Let go of me!" I release her and she storms into the room. Not wanting to think about what was just said, I go into the room with Dietlinde in it. The box was dimly lit by a green monitor beside it. I slowly walk over to it and pick her up.
"Hey there…" her eyes slowly open and stare at me. Those blue eyes always memorized me. She began to stir in my arms, and I start to cradle her. "Shhh… I'm here…" I knew that I was talking to a baby, but she seemed to understand me. While she did stop moving, those eyes still looked at me with deep curiosity. I hear a soft whine coming from her, and I literally felt weak at the knees. Just like before, she lifted an arm in the direction that Asuka was in from earlier today. "Mommy's not here right now…" she started to stir again, so I try to calm her. I know that it wasn't nearly as good as Asuka, but I tried to hum the song she had sung to both of us. I'm not sure, but I think I saw a small smile cross her face. by the time the song was over, she was fast asleep. The dead weight of my child was in my arms, and it felt wonderful. I didn't want to leave her, so I drag a chair over with my foot and get comfortable. Seeing her chest slowly rise and fall in my arms was amazing. To think that we made this, that we created life.
"There's the proud father," I heard a faint voice in the backround. I turn my head to see Sam standing there with a blanket.
"Oh… hey Sam…" chalk this up with one of the most awkward moments in my life. She walks over and puts the blue blanket around my shoulders.
"Listen… I'm sorry for what I did. I had no right to hit you like that. I know that you were stressed out of your mind, and I didn't help," well… she was right. Hitting me didn't exactly make me calmer.
"No, I said things that I shouldn't have. I know that you care for Asuka, and yet I made it sound like you hated her. I deserved it… at least you don't hit as hard as her!" she laughed a little. It was true though, I've gotten more bruises, scrapes, and knees to the groin by her than Toji has had punches to the head!
"Still, I'm sorry… so, is this Dietlinde?" how did she even know I was holding a baby?
"Um… yeah… it is. As you know, she was born prematurely, so she's on life support. I'm sure she'll be fine though," Sam took a chair and put it next to mine. While she sat down, she put a hand on the plastic box.
"It's warm…" here comes another one of her deep moments, I just know it, "By the way, was that you singing?" or not.
"Yeah… Asuka sang it to Dietlinde to calm her, so I tried it. Apparently no matter who sings it she falls asleep," even so, it took her twice as long to fall asleep compared to when Asuka sings. The relationship with a mother and child is always stronger then that of the father. I didn't really care though; I was just fine with me to sit back and watching the two together.
"It was beautiful, you know the words?" hell no!
"Well, it's a German song, so no. Asuka does though, maybe you should ask her later," I slowly put down Dietlinde and simply look at her, "Amazing, isn't it? She's definitely Asuka's child. Born two months early, has undeveloped heart and lungs, and yet she still lives on." She is too stubborn to die.
"She's your child too," just then, Dietlinde opened her eyes and lifted up her arms towards me. With a soft whine from Dietlinde, I pick her back up, "see what I mean? She needs both you and Asuka. Only a few hours old, and she's already seeing you both as someone to ask for, someone to lean back on, and someone to call her parents." I feel a small tear form in my eye. Seeing her actually ask for me made me feel needed, it made me feel like I was important. Sam wipes the tear from my cheek and gets up, "Try not to stay in here to long, you need some sleep to. Have a good night," with that, she left the dark room. I begin to hum the song again, but by the time I was done, she was still staring at me.
"Well, I take it you're not tired, huh?" as if to answer my question, she licks her lips, "Okay, you want to hear a story? How about when I first met your mother?" once again, she answers me by lifting up an arm and dropping it on my hand, "You know what you want huh? Well, it was right after the fifth angel, and I was only thirteen at the time. I was on a War ship specifically to meet her. Asuka was the second child, and Unit 02 was on the ship with us. I was there with my friends Toji and Kensuke. We were out on the runway when your mother came out to meet us. When I first saw her, all I saw was a beautiful German redheaded girl, keep in mind that I was a thirteen-year-old, so at the time, I basically saw a well-developed body. Her first words to me were 'So this is the third child? No way!', and then I saw her as a demon. The wind picked up soon after and ended with her sundress flying into the air. Three teenage boys on the ship got a clear view of her panties, and we were all greeted with a slap to the face. Not long after that, the sixth angel attacked, forcing Asuka to fight it in her Eva. I was in there with her, and had a first hand view of just how strong she was. That night, I learned that she was going to move in with me and Misato. Neither of us took this well. That night, Asuka demanded to sleep in a separate room, but this didn't happen. We ended up sleeping only inches from each other, and that was when I was first attracted to her. She falls asleep way before me, and ended up rolling over to face me. She mumbled in her sleep 'Mama' with tears in her eyes, and our lips almost met right then, but I pulled away. It wasn't that I didn't want to kiss her – I did – it was just that because of my age, I didn't know how to react. It wasn't until much later that I learned about her mother. I do admit that back then, I didn't like her at all, in fact, I hated her. Even so, she eventually showed her true colors and blossomed into the person you see now." Dietlinde's eyes were closed and she was breathing slowly. I didn't want her to wake up again, so I hold her in my arms until morning. By the time I felt it was okay for me to leave, I was drop-dead tired. I slowly put the sleeping child down and headed back to Asuka's room. She was asleep to, so I just pull a chair up and lay my head next to her now flat stomach. Within twenty seconds, I was asleep.
A/N- There's Dietlinde! Twenty-one chapters and sixty pages have been working towards this moment, so I hope it was worth it. How will the new parents take care of their baby? Find out in the next chapter; Teddy, until then, keep on keepin' on!