2-25-17: Minor edits made. MakoAnima is another reader who has been with me since the dark ages when I first started posting fic online.
Challenge: James bond impression, interruption of superior's work and a swift exit from MakoAnima, Zack, Cloud and Sephiroth
It started out as an ordinary day as they so often do... Sephiroth went to work, set fire to that damn moogle receptionist and actually started on his paperwork. He really should've known better than to because five seconds later a car came crashing the wall of his office and stopped an inch from his desk, proving for once and for all that whatever higher power existed hated paperwork and would do anything too prevent its completion.
He stares at it for a second, a lot less surprised by this turn of events than you would think. In fact the only thoughts that ran through his head were: How in the hell did they get that up all those steps? And Why in the name of Bahamut is it in my office?
"Zack..." Sephiroth says coolly, rummaging through a drawer clearly marked 'in case of random stupidity' for the button he used to inform the random employees to repair his office along with whatever (and whoever) Zack ran over getting there. "Get out of the car before I revoke your breathing privileges again." He finds Vincent's gun instead and shrugs, wondering how it got there.
The car door opens slowly and Zack, dressed in a sharp looking tuxedo, practically oozes out of it. Sephiroth raises an eyebrow, staring at him calmly. In the far corners of his mind he wondered who Zack had stolen the Tuxedo from and prayed he wasn't going have to explain to some non-shinra employee that Zack was an idiot. A highly destructive idiot with friends in high places, but an idiot none the less. He was harmless... as long as you could kick his ass.
"It's Fair, Zackary Fair." Zack states dramatically, flipping his hair back from his face. Sephiroth's eye twitches, wondering if anyone would notice if he discreetly stabbed his second in command seven times and left him in the middle of the hallway.
"Well then Zackary Fair I believe I will authorize Vincent's request to use you as target practice." Sephiroth says, pulling a handgun, specifically Vincent's handgun, out of his pocket. He had confiscated earlier when said request was pinned to his door with a knife (Reno had delivered it and was feeling especially lazy). Zack opens his mouth to retort but before he can even speak a word the passenger door swooshes open and someone clamors out, bloodlust in his eyes.
Had Sephiroth been a lesser man, his mouth would've fallen open as it was he settled for his eyes widening slightly. Of all the things he had expected when that car came crashing through his wall this was the last thing he would've expected (though he would later find out that Tseng, Rufus and Reno had a betting pool on when it would happen and why, Reno won).
An extremely enraged Cloud stood before them, dressed up in one of Scarlet's exceptionally slutty sparkling dresses complete with makeup, high-heels and quite possibly (knowing Zack) underwear (though where he got it remains a mystery, because it certainly wasn't Scarlet's).
"Zaaaacccckkkkk..." Cloud hisses in that low tone that indicates that someone is going to die in the most painful way possible. Zack pales slightly and Sephiroth discreetly pulls out a camera. "I am going to ram these high-heels up your ass and then I am going to strangle you with this bra." Cloud says almost gleefully, advancing slowly on the man.
Zack lets out a squeal equivalent to that of a girl's and runs out of that room as fast as humanly possible, Cloud following with an incredibly psychopathic look on his face. Sephiroth was now left alone in his office, a decidedly evil smile on his face and a camera in his hand.
There was a lesson to be learned from this: never imitate people you see in movies, it always ends with blackmail.
I caved and edited in Zack's canon name, with a bit of stretching to make it flow the same.
Thanks to all for reading and reviewing, you are much appreciated.