Nothing Will Ever Change That
Chapter 93: First Time
A/N- This chapter was proof-read by Frost-Eva-04. Thanks for the help!
Asuka's Room – That Night – 12:00 AM
"So you're telling me that she slept with him after that? How cute!" they were still here, and after a couple hours, we had drifted over many topics of conversation; the current topic being Dietlinde. For some reason Asuka was actually okay with talking about it. I saw her rub her eyes a few times, obviously wiping away oncoming tears, but aside from that she's fine. She's even smiling right now. I know that I was extremely uncomfortable with this; it just brought back too many memories.
Asuka and I were sitting on the sofa while Sam and Cass laid on the floor looking up at us. It was nice to talk with friends again; none of us have had that in a long time.
"Yeah, you should have seen those two. She was all curled up on his chest under the blankets. Actually…" she got up and went over to her newly packed closet. She pulled out a small box and pulled out a picture, "Here, I got a picture of the two right here!" she handed Cass the picture.
"You took a picture of us?" I take the picture from Cass and look at it. She did… God she looked so cute with me… I feel tears form in my eyes as I stare at the captured moment. I feel Asuka sit next to me and put an arm around my shoulders. She wipes away one tear with her thumb and smiles at me.
"Um… should we leave?" Sam asked with an uneasy voice. In the corner of my eye I see Asuka nod slightly.
"Yeah, we should get going. It's getting late," Cass grabbed Sam's hand guided her out of our room.
"You okay Shinji?" Asuka sounded concerned for once.
"No… I miss her so much…" I feel the tears start to flow more freely. Asuka took the picture from me and set it on the table next to the sofa. I haven't had a chance to let all of this out yet, I've been trying to hard to be the strong one. Asuka hug me and I pull her tight, crying into her shoulder.
"Just let it out… I'm here…" and I did. I literally sobbed into her shirt as I held her. Everything came out. My sadness, my anger, my morning, I even cried her name a few times. Nothing was left emotionally.
"She was my daughter! I just want her back!" I balled into her shoulder, "I loved her so much…" Asuka didn't say a word, she just listened to me sobbing, all the while trying to comfort me, "She was our child… she was formed from you and me… how can she just be gone? We were supposed to raise her! She was supposed to grow up seeing us as her parents!" I feel Asuka shiver under my words, "AHH!" I let out a long yell into her shirt. Asuka was there for me the entire time. That night I cried like a child, and she helped me the whole way through it.
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Asuka's Room – Morning – 8:00 AM
I wake up with dried tears on my face. I notice almost right away that my head was resting on Asuka's lap with her hand on my chest. I must have cried myself to sleep. Truthfully, I don't remember much after the yell; it was just one big blur. Her head was leaned back onto the back of the sofa and she was softly snoring. I look down to see my body covered by a large white blanket. She really did take care of me last night, even with me acting like a child. With a smile I get up and slowly lower her to the sofa so that she was lying down. I covered her up with the same blanket I had and walked into the bathroom. I really need a shower; it's been what, four days now? Even I could tell that I reeked. With a sigh I turn on the water and walk into the hot water.
I really needed last night; I needed to let out all of those unfelt emotions. Asuka had that chance, up until last night; I didn't, so when it finally came out, it came out full force. I liked it though. Sure, it felt horrible to not only feel all of that but to also make Asuka go through that, but it felt great to finally get it off my chest. Knowing that Asuka would help me through something like that also was a big up. She would always be the one to cry in my arms, but for only the second time it was me doing to crying.
After feeling what she has been feeling for two days now, I couldn't help but relate to how she felt about the new baby. I can see how she thought we'd be replacing Dietlinde. Even though I still didn't want her to get an abortion, I had to admit, the thought did cross my mind. I shook it off though. I refuse to kill a human simply because I didn't wear a condom. I will raise this child, and I will protect it with my life. Eventually, I force myself to turn off the water – I was in there for a good twenty minutes – and get out. I notice that – as always – I forgot to grab clothes. I just wrap a towel around my waist and walk out to meet Asuka holding a pair of jeans and a shirt smiling.
"How was your shower?" she handed me the clothing with a smile.
"Good, thanks…" I walk back into the bathroom and get dressed as quickly as I could, not wanting to leave her alone. I walk back out to see her sitting on the sofa waiting for me. I go over and sit next to her and put an arm around her shoulders, "Listen… I'm sorry about last night… but thanks for being there for me," she smiles and softly kisses me on the cheek.
"You're always there for me, so think of it as me paying you back. How do you feel now though?" there was my caring Asuka.
"Pretty good… I just had to get that out…" we sit there basking in each other's warmth for awhile before we hear a light creaking sound. I start to get up but I was quickly thrown down by the sofa folding up and pinning both of us in between the cousins. "Where… have I seen this before…?"
"Huh… wonder why that happened…" we both push down the seat and get away from the sofa, "Shinji… why does that seem familiar?" I felt the same way!
"I don't know…" we both stood there staring at the sofa until it finally slams shut again, "So… you hungry?" that feeling was probably just a coincidence.
"Um… sure…" with a raised eyebrow she walks over to the table and sits down, "Want me to make it?" I put a hand in the air as I grad a pan.
"No, its okay, thanks. What do you want? Pancakes sound good?" that was pretty stupid to say…
"Anything eatable will do, thanks," she had a sarcastic voice on. The one thing I did like about NERV is the fact that they always stocked their fridges full of food and supplies. I grab the pancake mix and begin to throw the quick breakfast together, "While you do that I'm going to take a shower, you better not have used up all the hot water!" just like Asuka.
"Don't worry about it, I didn't," she entered the bathroom with a sarcastic smile. I couldn't help but think of the fact that I was just in there for twenty minutes with damn near boiling water… ah crap! Before I could stop her from getting in I hear the shower start. I'm in deep crap now! Trying to act casual, I go back to the stove. The shower kept on going. No yelling, nothing. She didn't even make a sound. I thank my lucky stars that NERV had enough hot water! By the time I was setting the table with the breakfast, she was walking out of the bathroom with a towel around her torso.
"You liar, you did use up all the hot water. You're lucky I'm not in the mood to kick your ass," she was smirking as she walked over to the closet.
"Why thank you so much for deciding against it, I've grown quite fond of my ass," I actually heard her laugh.
"Yeah well… so have I…" she muttered under her breath, "Now turn around for a sec, I need to get dressed," like I haven't seen her naked before. I did as I was told and I heard her putting on clothes, "Okay, you can look now," I turn back around to see her in short-shorts and a tight shirt.
"Always with the teasers, huh?"
"How is this…" she waves her hands by herself "a teaser? What is there left to tease to you?" she had emphasis in her voice on that last part.
"True… but still," she chuckles as she sat down and began to eat.
"So… happy birthday…" oh yeah! Today's my birthday! Seventeen!
"Oh, thanks. Looks like the gift will be the date tonight, huh?" this is my first birthday as a married man, and I kinda like it! With a smile, she walks over to me and whispers in my ear.
"Keep guessing…" as she walked to the table she lightly ran her fingers across my face.
"Okay, I think I got it…" I was trying so hard not to make a smartass remark… "You got me a puppy, huh?" and apparently I didn't try hard enough.
"Smartass…" she began to eat her out of the box breakfast. With a smile, I do the same, "Oh, by the way, have you talked to Akagi about your hand yet?" she took another bite of food.
"Yeah, before the wedding, but she never said what she'd do for long term. As you know we just slapped a glove on it for the wedding," I really did want this thing gone. It was starting to get on my nerves.
"Okay, just curious…" there was always an awkward silence at breakfast from my experience. When she was done she stood up and stretched her arms above her head, "Well, come on, we need to go to the mall," mall?
"Why?" she looked at me like I was stupid. Was I missing something here?
"Why? Because I need a new dress! You've seen all of my dresses, and I need to get something new!" then why did she need me? Like I didn't know the answer to that!
"Oh… okay… you know, you look beautiful in the dresses you have," she chuckles.
"I know that, but it's your birthday, I need to look nice for it!" she didn't need a dress to look nice… hell, she didn't need anything!
"If you want to. Let me just grab my keys and-" she put a finger on my lips.
"Ah! No, you're not driving; you're just going to relax." She grabbed my keys off of the table, "You don't mind if I drive your car, right?"
"Yes! I mean, no… I mean, if you want…" Asuka with that much power is just scary.
"Why thank you so much!" she gave me a sweet smile and grabbed my wrist, dragging me all the way to the car. This is going to be a long, LONG day…
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Mall – Just Arriving
I pry my hand from the arm rest and try to loosen up my tensed muscles.
"Man this thing has power!" after a few seconds she leaned over to me and put her elbows on my lap, resting her head on her hands as she did, "Oh Shinji…" she had a seductive voice on, "Can you use your commander position to get me one of these? Please?" now who didn't see that coming?
"If I do, will you stop driving mine?" that's all I really wanted!
"Of course my handsome man!" she sure knew how to play me. With a peck on the cheek she gets out of the car. I'm about to buy a friggen sports car for her, and all I get is a peck? Damn it… of course it's better then nothing. I'll take it! Still calming down from her driving I get out of the car and follow her to the mall entrance. I can feel my wallet shrinking already! She immediately drags me into a store with a few dresses in the window, "Okay, you just wait right here and I'll put on a little show for you, okay?" she sat me down in a chair in front of the dressing rooms. She went off into the store and after a few minutes came back with an arm full of dresses.
"All of those?" she must have had at least fifteen!
"Well duh! I have to find the perfect one! You just wait out here for me…" she grabbed one of the keys and walked into the dressing room. I wasn't complaining about the amount of dresses, I just knew that the 'show' was going to last quite awhile. After a few minutes of waiting she comes back out with a black dress on, "So, how's this one?" it was a strapless plain black dress. Not too exciting.
"Eh… it's just not you. I don't really like black on you," except from our last vacation night… that black was okay…
"Yeah, that's what I thought. I'll be right back," she walked back into the dressing room and came out a few minutes later wearing the same dress… only a light shade of pink… no…
"How about no?" we both say in unison.
"I'll be right back… no more pink… ever…" I hear her mumble as she walked off. She came back out a few minutes later, this time with a red dress, "How about this one?" Not bad, I had to admit. It had spaghetti straps and a V-cut collar, as always. It went down to her ankles, and past the hips it fit fairly loose… but before the hips… wow. It was like a second skin. How'd she even get into that thing? It also had a long slit down the right side that went from the bottom to her upper thigh.
"Wow…" I mumble like an idiot.
"I take that as a yes?" still surprised at just how amazing she looked, I simply nod, "Hello? Earth to Shinji! Are you even paying attention?" she waved her hand in front of my face.
"Oh… yeah… sorry… you look great… get that one…" she gives me a seductive smile and whispers in my ear.
"I was going for sexy. Did it work?" once again, I nod, "Good," she leaned back up and went back to the dressing room. After a few minutes she comes back out wearing her old clothes and holding the dress in her arms.
"Where are the other ones?" She quickly grabbed my arm and guided me over to the check-out.
"Shut up… I don't remember where I got them, so I left them in there, just keep quiet," just like Asuka. With a sigh I take out my wallet, "Whoa! What are you doing? I'm paying for this!" Asuka… paying? This had to be a dream!
"Are you sure? I'd be happy to get it for you," she shakes her head as she reaches into her back pocket.
"Don't worry about it. It's your birthday, you shouldn't have to spend money," and yet we're going on a date tonight. Not that I cared, she was just contradicting herself. She bought the dress – 20000 Yen by the way – and we walked back out to the car, "Thanks for coming with me," I mentally kick myself for not taking the keys from her as she climbs into the drivers side.
"Don't worry about it," she puts the dress in my lap and begins to speed off. As always, we were back at NERV within a few minutes on a drive that would normally take an hour. I may not like the way she drives, but it sure was faster!
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Asuka's Room – That Night – 8:00 PM
A/N- Sorry for the time jump, but I couldn't think of anything else!
"Okay, go get Sam and tell her to come here. We'll get dressed in here and you get dressed in their room, okay?" why couldn't I get dressed with them? I wanted to say that so bad, just to see how she'd react, but I restrained myself.
"Okay, I'll send her down. Just let me grab my tux," I take it out of the closet and instantly notice something… it's tiny! "Um… Asuka? We got a problem…" what's new?
"What is it this time?"
"My tux… it's too small…" she grabs it from me and holds it up to my torso.
"Damn Shinji! How much did you grow!" well, it has been nearly a year sense I last wore it.
"It's okay; I'll just wear my commander uniform. Is that okay?" I'd rather wear that anyway. It makes me feel powerful, which was fairly rare these days. At the wedding I actually felt important, like I meant something.
"Sure, why not? I think you look handsome in it!" wasn't she flirtatious today? Trying to look sexy for me, speaking in that seductive voice, and now calling me handsome! I like this!
"Okay, I'll send Sam over and I'll grab it from Akagi," with a wave I head for Sam's room… and notice that it was right next to ours. No wonder they knew where to go to find us! I knock on the door and was greeted with a smiling Sam.
"Oh, hey Shinji," what the hell? How did she…? "You need something?"
"Um… yeah… Asuka told me to send you down to her room. I'm going to be getting changed in here and you'll get changed in there," she raised an eyebrow.
"But… why? You two are married and me and Cass… well… I can't exactly look at his body, and if he looks at me, hey, if he wants to!" I hear Cass fall down in the background.
"I really have no idea. Ask her. In the meantime I need to go grab my uniform from Akagi," before she could respond I walk to Ritsuko's office. As always, she was neck deep in paperwork.
"Oh, hey Shinji. You need something?" even under all that paper work she still has a cheery voice on.
"Sorry, but do you have the commander uniform? I need it for tonight," she cocked her head in confusion, "We have a date tonight. Sam and Cass are going too," she instantly smiled.
"Really; so Asuka is finally feeling better about Dietlinde?" yeah, she was past it more or less, I was the one left in morning.
"Yeah, I think." With a smile she gets up and walks over to a door on the other side of the office.
"You know, it got pretty wrinkled last time I let you use it, but you have an excuse for that, right?" she had a smirk on.
"Um… y-yeah… I guess…" we both knew the meaning behind her comment. She handed me the dark green uniform with a smile.
"Just go ahead and keep it this time, and try not to hurt Asuka's back, okay?" I wasn't even planning on us having sex.
"Um… o-okay…" as I walk out of the room I hear Ritsuko say one last thing.
"Happy birthday!"
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Asuka's Room – A Few Minutes Later
"She said what!" I just got done telling Asuka about what Sam said about changing, "I was only doing that for her! I thought that she wouldn't want him to see her!" hell, so did I.
"Yeah, apparently not. So… what? Do I get dressed in here or what?" she just shrugs.
"I don't care. We're married now, it doesn't matter to me. Not much either of us can look at, is there?" she was right. We've already seen everything! Keeping her words in mind, I set the uniform down on the bed and take off my shirt, "Whoa…" I heard her mumble in the background. I turn around to see her staring at my torso with an open jaw.
"You okay?" what was she staring at?
"Damn Shinji… you got some serious scars on you," what's new?
"Oh… yeah, I guess. Well, you were there for all of them. This one was from when Cass beat me up," I point to the long scar lining my shoulder blade, "These are from when Envy attacked," I point to the scars on my right palm and upper arm, "These are from bullets when I followed you that one time," I point to the bullet wound on my stomach and shoulder, "And all of these are from Karsten… am I missing any here?" I actually had a list!
"I just never really noticed it before… I gotta admit it makes you look tough!" yeah, like I was tough! Me of all people! "And a little hot…" hello! I love you scars!
"Um… yeah…" I was never good when it came to taking compliments. With a blush I throw on my jacket and then the pants. I was completely dressed within a couple of minutes, "So, you ready yet?" I hadn't turned around sense I started, so I really had no idea if Asuka was done or not.
"Yeah, just getting my shoes on," I mentally yelled at myself for missing the show. I turn around and see her putting on a pair of high heeled shoes. When she stood up… wow… she was actually able to look me strait in the eye! It seemed really weird to have her this tall.
"Asuka? How many inches are those things?" they were a pair of ruby-red shoes that were basically all open aside from a few straps that crossed over her foot. They had a spike heel.
"Three. Why?" how is she even standing!
"Um… just curious…" I hold out my hand in front of her, "Is my lady ready to go?" she smiles as she took my hand.
"She is," we walk out of the room hand in hand and knock on Sam and Cass's door in unison.
"Come in!" we walk in to see a beat red Cass laying on the bed and Sam with a smile on, "Oh, hey guys. You ready to go?" Asuka nudged my shoulder and whispered in my ear.
"How'd she know it was us?"
"Because I could smell your perfume," how… damn it I hate when she does that.
"So, looks like Cass got more then he could handle, huh?" he let out a soft moan at Asuka's comment. I walk over to Cass and whisper in his ear.
"Just wait until your first time," I casually walk back to Asuka's side, leaving him to have a heart attack. I see Sam blushing quite a bit. She must have heard me, "Well! Let's get going!" Sam grabs Cass's hand and basically drags him out of the room.
"Cass! Use your feet!" she was using her entire body to pull him down the hall.
"Sam? Need some help?" Asuka offered a hand… or so I thought.
"Please!" with a smile Asuka walks over to Cass and whispers in his ear. He instantly pops up and begins to walk on his own, still blushing, "What did you just tell him?" Sam didn't know?
"Oh, you didn't hear?" she shook her head, "Well never mind then. We'll have to take my van," she reaches into my back pocket and pulls out a pair of keys, "Here Shinji, you drive," when did she do that?
"Asuka, when did you…" she put a finger to my lips.
"Shhhh… some secrets are better left unknown…" no, that wasn't creepy at all. When we finally get the van, Sam and Cass sit in the back while Asuka and I sit in the front.
"S-So… where a-are we g-going…?" Cass finally spoke, but it was all in stutter.
"Calm down Cass, so you saw more then enough of Sam, so what? Get over it!" oh yeah, Asuka was helping!
"Um… we're going to a restaurant called-" Asuka put her finger on my lips, then one to hers. I guess she wanted to keep it surprise, "Never mind…" I saw Sam smile in the rear view mirror. Why was she smiling?
"So Shinji, I heard that it was your birthday," Sam leans up in the middle of me and Asuka and turns her head towards me, "Tell me, what did Asuka get you?" she had a smirk on, "Bet it was something special…" Asuka instantly blushed.
"Shut up Sam!" The whole van – including Cass – got a good laugh from that.
"I'm just messin' with ya!" Sam put a hand on Asuka's shoulder, "More or less…"
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Just Arriving
"This… is where we're eating?" Cass looked up at the neon sign that read Le Peroquet.
"Yep, it's a French restaurant that I saw awhile back. Hope you all like it!" Asuka told me about this place a few weeks ago, and we just haven't had a chance to come here yet.
"I hope it's not too expensive…" Sam had a concerned look on her face and frankly, so did I.
"Don't worry about it! Shinji, you got your ID card on you?" I saw where this was going… and I like it…
"Um… yeah…" I pull out my wallet and take out my recently updated ID card. Akagi gave me the commander one before my wedding. It was just like my old one, just laced in gold. She pulls it from my hands and scans over it for a few seconds.
"THERE! Look, right there in fine print at the bottom, 'Exempt from all charges in Tokyo-3', you're welcome Shinji!" with a smug face she hands me back the card. I look for myself… she was right… score!
"Aw! Are you serious? Wait… why do you get that?" Sam didn't know about me being commander?
"Yeah, why don't I have that?" I look back to see Cass looking over his ID.
"You don't know? Shinji took Gendo's place as commander. He's head of NERV now," both Sam and Cass went wide eyed, "That's right! I'm married to the commander!" looks like Asuka has a new bragging right.
"So… if you think about it… he's in charge of us…" Cass had an interesting thought for once.
"Yeah, I guess so…" Asuka looked back at Cass, then at me with a smirk, "So Shinji… why don't you give me an order, huh?" she had her normal seductive voice on. I instantly went red.
"WOOO!" Cass howled from the back. With a smirk, Asuka climbs out of the van, the rest of us follow soon after. As we enter the large building, we were rushed with the smell of delicious food.
"Wow…" I heard Sam mutter from the back. She of all people should be enjoying this!
"How may I help the… young adults…" the waiter had a bit of sarcasm in his voice, "Or are you here to simply gawk at the food?"
"Well first off, you can HELP us by being a little more respectful. And two, we are paying customers!" there goes Asuka again… she reached into my pocket and pulled out my ID, "See this? He is the commander of NERV, and he can have you fired with a simple snap of his fingers!" even though that was true, I'd never do that.
"Oh! I'm so sorry; let me show you to your table. Come with me," frantically, he grabbed four menus and led us to a window seat, "I'll be right back to take your orders, okay?" he rushed back off in a hurry.
"Wow… now that's control…" Cass stared at the jogging man.
"Tell me about it…"
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Same Place – 10:00 PM
We were just walking out of the restaurant as it was closing. The meal was… okay. Nothing special, I mean it was good, but nothing I'd go out of my way for. Asuka, Sam and Cass felt the same way. As we got into the van, Cass let out his smartass remark for the night.
"Man, I can't believe how that guy reacted when he saw the fine print on your ID! He was damn near turning red!" and there it is.
"Yeah, I kinda feel bad about that. We must have cost that restaurant 50000 Yen…" Asuka slaps me on the shoulder.
"So what? We've saved the world enough times to earn a free meal," while that was true, I still couldn't help but feel bad. I begin to drive away from the parking lot and head for NERV.
"Um… I know that this might be a bad time to ask… but why did you cry last night when you looked at Dietlinde's picture?" God damn it… they didn't know?
"Not now Cass," Asuka had a warning voice on.
"No seriously. And where is the little cutie by the way?" please make him stop…
"I said NOT NOW," Asuka was really trying to make him stop. Cass leans up in between us and looks at me.
"Oh come on; just tell me where she is! I wanna hear about the little cutie!" I quickly swerve into the emergency lane and cover my face, trying to hide the tears, "Whoa! What was that about?" Asuka reaches back and slaps him.
"Drop it!" her voice was firm and harsh. She came back to the front seat and put an arm around me. Damn it… here I go again… this time in front of them! I really couldn't a hold of myself, the tears just flowed harder, "Its okay…" she whispered in my ear, "I'm here…" she tried to calm me down, but it was far from working.
"Oh God…" I mutter over my tears. With a kiss on the check she gets out of the van and walks over to the driver's side, guiding me out of the van afterwards. She guided me over to the side road and made me look her in the eyes.
"Shinji, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to calm down," I see a single tear form in her eye, "We'll work through this when we get home, but for now just get back in the van and I'll drive us home. So I need you to hold back the tears for just a little bit, okay?" like I was going to be able to do that. I simply nod and she guides me back to the van, this time on the passenger side. In silence, she begins to drive off.
A/N- So yeah, the whole 'Dietlinde's dead' thing isn't over yet between the two pilots. Hopefully Shinji will be able to work through this without too much trouble. How do you think he will do that exactly? Will Asuka begin the same thing over again? Will they find out who Dietlinde's killer is? Find out in the next chapter; Findings, until then, keep on keepin' on!
A/A/N- 300 pages! YES! I have been counting down the pages until I finally reached the 300 page marker. Sadly, I don't think that there will be a 400 page marker…