Nothing Will Ever Change That
Chapter 104: His Warmth
A/N- This chapter was proof-read by Frost-Eva-04. Thanks for the help.
A/A/N- Okay, let me clear something up here; there is a plot, just a very broad plot. It's their life, that's it. And yes, there's an ending that's coming up very soon. You can ask Frost-Eva-04, he has proof-read the epilogue. Like I said in the summary, think of this as more of a sitcom with different subplots, okay? For those of you that are still reading and not bitching, thank you.
Same Time
"No I'm not, I'm right here, I'll always be here… and nothing will ever change that…" my head pops up and I sit up to meet him at eye level, "There's my beautiful wife…" he gently pecks me on the lips, "It's nice to see you again."
"Sh-Shin… ji…?" he simply smiles at me. Am I seeing things again? Is this one really him?
"I'm back Asuka… all of me…" if this is a dream… please never let me wake up. I lunge forward and latch onto his neck… this was real, "I'm so sorry I did that to you… I just wasn't ready for the truth at the time… I mean, I had a fourteen year old mind, I wasn't exactly accustomed to that sort of thing…" he held me tight, "But I promise… for the rest of your life, I will never leave your side… ever," was MY Shinji back? I lean back and look at him with teary eyes.
"A-Are… do you remember everything?" he once again smiled warmly at me.
"Yes… and not from dreams, I actually feel like I lived them… I don't know why I'm back, but I am," his voice… something has changed sense I last spoke to him… it's matured in a way.
"Everything? You remember everything?" he nods with a smile.
"Yeah… a few gaps here and there, but nothing big, just of a few fights with the angels… but I'd rather not remember those!" I couldn't help but chuckle through my tears, "I… do remember something that I wish I hadn't though…" his face went to that of a sad child as he stared downwards, "I… I'm so sorry Asuka… I shouldn't have done that to you… you were just trying to help…"
"Forget about it, you're back now, aren't you?" he continued to stare down.
"Not that… I hit you… please forgive me…" I smile and put a hand on his cheek.
"You barely even touched me…" that was a bold faced lie. In truth, he left a deep purple bruise. I saw tears start to form in his eyes.
"Asuka… I remember it… I hit you hard…" he put a hand on my arm gently, "I let my temper take me over… please forgive me…" he was really hurt about this!
"Forget about it, really, it's not like I've never hit you before!" I finally got a smile out of him! Suddenly, I realize something; I want human contact now. Now that he was back, I'm out of depression completely… I knew I couldn't live without him… "So, where have you been?" his face once again went blank.
"Right after I left, I went back to my aunt and uncle's… it took me a few days, but when I finally got there, I see nothing has changed… I stayed there for about a week, and then me and my uncle got into a fight… a real fight… after that, I just started to wander around the streets. Actually getting back my memories was… terrifying. I had no idea what was happening to me. Up until this last week I thought that I was seeing another man's memories…" I can see why he went back there. Even though he hated it, it was really the only home he has.
"So… um… can I kiss my husband?" it's been more than a month now!
"Thought you'd never ask…" I lean into the first kiss with him in awhile. We stayed like that for quite awhile, and it would have been longer if we didn't need to breathe! "There's my wife…" he stared at each other smiling for the longest time, not a word was said, it was like heaven until he finally broke it, "So, how about we go surprise everyone?" just like him.
"Sure… I can't just have you to myself?" I was kidding of course, but hey, if he wouldn't mind!
"You always will…" he kisses my forehead and gets up, "Oh, by the way, you speak pretty highly of me, don't you?" ah crap… he remembers me telling all of those stories!
"Well… yeah, I mean there's a lot to talk about!" I get up next to him and grab a hold of his left hand. He went wide eyed and looked down.
"Holy crap!" what? He hasn't noticed that his hand is back yet?
"Come on! Don't tell me you haven't noticed!" he slowly shakes his head.
"I mean, I knew that it was back… but I just remembered the whole Karsten thing yesterday… it just didn't click…" he raised his hand in front of his face and moved each finger, "Yes!" damn! I never got to pull out 'Stubby'!
"If you're done goggling over your hand, we can go now," he put his hand back down and grabbed mine.
"Sorry, I'm just a little excited about having my hand!" we both walk out of the room laughing… I'm happy… I'm happy with him…
"Oh, hey!" I see Sam walking down the hall to meet us. Almost instantly she puts out her hand in front of Shinji, "Sorry, but I haven't gotten the chance to introduce myself yet. The name's Sam," Shinji smiles at her and softly nudges me… that asshole, he's about to trick her! He takes her hand and shakes it.
"Nice to meet you, my name's Shinji," I saw Sam's face pale a little, but she kept her smile.
"Yeah… I-I know…"
"So Sam, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Sure…" Shinji leaned over and whispered something in her ear, but I couldn't hear what. She went wide eyed and latched onto him, "You're back!" I've never seen Sam smile so wide!
"Yeah," he softly hugged her back, obviously worried about me. No, I didn't like the sight of him hugging another girl, but its fine. Sam pulled back and blushed deeply.
"Sorry… I'm just excited that you're back…" Shinji put a hand on her shoulder. Okay! Pushing it!
"Thanks for looking after Asuka when I was away," geez, I'm not some four year old!
"Actually, that was Cass," yeah, he was the most helpful person this last month. While I never actually came out of my room, he tried while no one else even bothered to check on me. And after Shinji died… he was there…
"Yeah, I gotta thank him for that," I cut in between him and Sam and grab his hand, "But for now, I want to go see Akagi and shove it in her face that her science was wrong!" saying that he'll never come back, bullshit! He laughed, "No, you didn't hear what she was saying before! She said that you were dead!" technically, he wasn't, but mentally he might as well have been.
"Go easy on her Asuka… you thought the same thing for awhile too!" Lord help this man…
"Only because she told me so! How am I supposed to react to a fourteen year old being my husband?" I take his hand once again and we begin to walk down the hall. Out of nowhere, he reaches over and gently puts his hand on my stomach.
"Have you thought of any names yet?" actually, I was planning on naming it Shinji, thinking that he wasn't going to come back, but there goes my idea…
"No, not really, you?" I wonder if we're going to be doing that German and Japanese thing again.
"Well… you'll think this is stupid… but for a girl… I wanted to name it after you," now how was that stupid?
"Me? What makes me so special?" I just set him up… crap!
"Well, for one, you have gone through more then I ever have trying to come to terms with this child. If anything in this baby, I want your heritage to pass on," Shinji's being deep again.
"That really doesn't matter to me…"
"But it does to me," he responded almost instantly, "Asuka, you're the only person in my life that has ever really made me feel useful, I want to repay you for that," was that true? There had to be SOMEONE else aside from me.
"Well… if you want to, sure, I'm okay with it…" it would actually be pretty cool to have a child named after me! "Okay, so we got the girls name – Asuka Ikari – now we need a boy's…" I look up at him with a smile. Hey, if the girl's name is going to be mine, the boy should be his.
"Huh? Oh… no! We are NOT naming it after me!" those warm, funny eyes… I love those.
"Why not? I like your name!" he gave a nervous smile.
"How about Taiju? Okita? Ren? Anything but Shinji!" damn, wonder what was up with him?
"Why don't you want your name?" he blushes and looks to the floor.
"Because… I'd just rather not have it on our child… how about we go with a German name?" he was serious about this! I wonder why he doesn't want his name.
"Okay… how about Roth? If he takes after me, then the name will make sense," seeing as how strong my genes were the last time, I'm guessing that he would look German!
"Why? Does it mean something?" actually, it was more of a word than a name, but I have heard it as a name before.
"Yeah, it means 'red-haired'," he instantly busts out laughing, "And what the hell is so funny about that?"
"N-Nothing… it's just that I know that name will fit him perfectly! Asuka, in the last two children we've had, you're genes are the dominate ones, not mine. I can't even see myself in our children!" two? He does know how to count, right?
"Shinji, think back, we've only had one child. Unless I missed something…" just a guess, but I think I'd remember giving birth twice!
"No, we've had two… kinda. Dietlinde was one, then the other one was when Akagi made one from us, remember? Though we didn't exactly conceive that child, it still had our genetics," oh yeah! I almost forgot about that one…
"Okay, I see your point," before I realized it, we were standing in front of Akagi's office, "Hey, I was thinking… can we play a little trick on her?" he raised an eyebrow, "Okay, this is what I want you to do, act as if you lost even more memory instead of regaining it. Act like… I dunno, a ten year old," he smirked a little.
"You know Asuka, you're vengeful… I like that, but I want to make just a little change… how about I simply don't talk? That'd be easier on my part," lazy ass…
"Okay, I guess that'd be like an infant, so yeah," his smirk grew just a bit bigger… he's about to make a cocky remark, I just know it.
"An infant, huh?" he took a short pause, "Got milk?" I slap him on the chest.
"Pervert… come on," I open the door to see Akagi once again neck deep in paper work.
"Hey As- Shinji!" she popped up from her desk, "He came back?" I stared at the floor, trying to look concerned.
"Um… no… I think he got worse… he can't even talk now, he just stares at me when I talk to him…" oh yeah, nice one Asuka! I should be an actress!
"Huh? Are you sure he's just not keeping quiet because of what happened?" good thing I'm a good liar…
"Yeah, I'm sure…" I look up at him and hold back laughter. He was staring at the ceiling like it was his first time seeing it; no, the act in itself wasn't that funny, but the look on his face was hilarious! "I-I… uh…" I clear my throat holding it back, "H-He…" I kick his foot to get him to stop, "He just came back last night and…" I look back up at him to see him holding back laughter as well.
"Uhhh… how's it goin Rits?" he busted out laughing, and I soon followed. Even when she learned that he COULD speak, she was still confused.
"Um… how do you know my name? Asuka? Did you tell him?" he wipes away a tear and speaks up.
"No, she didn't. You delivered my child, you saved both me and Asuka countless times, and a little more recently you cloned me… yeah, I think I know you!" Akagi drops her jaw.
"Shinji… you remember? You remember everything?" we both calm down and smile at her.
"Yeah, I even remember seeing the bomb break through the entry plug. The tip touched my forehead before exploding… it was pretty cool aside from the whole dying thing…" he actually remembered that?
"But… that's impossible! Do you remember or did Asuka tell you?" yeah, I told him his entire life story!
"No… I… I haven't even been here all month…" he obviously felt horrible for that.
"Then how do you know?" is she stupid or something?
"I already told you, the memories slowly came back to me. Why don't you believe me?" she just stared at him clueless.
"Because that's impossible! The brain can't repair itself, how did it do it in your case?" how was he supposed to know? She's the doctor!
"Maybe it had something to do with the cloning thing, is that possible?" Ritsuko held her head and shook it, "I'll take that as a no… but who cares? As long as I'm here now, right?" she finally broke a smile.
"Yeah, sorry… it's just baffling… ah forget about it," she walks to his and puts out her hand, "Give me your hand…" he gives her his hand and she starts to examine it closely, "Okay I was just checking to see if everything came through during the cloning… oh, and one more thing…" she grabbed his wrist and turned him around in and instant… sense when did Akagi know how to restrain? "You ever lay a hand on Asuka again and I'll personally make sure you'll pay for it, you understand me?" holy shit! Shinji just looked to the floor.
"Yes…" I couldn't move! I wanted to get her off of him, but my legs just weren't moving! "I understand…"
"I don't care how close you are to her; you may not touch her unless told to do otherwise. If I ever find out that you hit her again, I WILL put you in prison, got it?" damn… Akagi was seriously mad about this…
"Yes…" she shoved him as she let go, making him stumble to the floor.
"Not so nice when someone else is doing it, is it?" Shinji silently got up and walked out of the office without passing so much as a passing glance at me.
"What the fuck was that!" I turn and yell at Akagi, "He already apologized for it! He explained himself!" she glares right back at me.
"I don't care what he said; I'm getting the point across that it's NOT okay to hit women!" Jesus, like he didn't know that? The look in his eyes when we were talking about it was saddening even to me!
"He knows that! You think that it's okay to do that to him?" I still can't believe that she actually pushed him to the ground!
"Yes I do! What comes around goes around, and he got what he had coming!"
"Whatever! I actually care about him, so I'M going to help him!" with a certain bird flying by, I walk out of the room and walk down the hallway to see him sitting against the wall with his arms on his knees, "Shinji…"
"I still don't know why I did that…" he stared at the ground with a blank face as he spoke, "When I hit you… I really saw you as an enemy…" I saw a tear form in his eye, "The most horrifying thing… is that I wanted to do it again after I hit you… at that moment, I really wanted to make you hurt…" I walk over and sit next to him.
"Eh, I woulda kicked you ass if you did…" I wrap my arm around his shoulders, "You couldn't do it again even if you wanted to!" he looks at me with a small frown, "Now what's the matter? I thought that we already went through this; it… doesn't… matter! I'm fine, aren't I?" I think I saw him smile a bit, "It's not like you were in a good mental state either, so don't worry about it. Now, how about we go back to our room and relax a little, huh?" I take his hand and bring him to his feet.
"How do you do that?"
"Do what?" we begin to walk back to my room.
"You're always able to make me smile, no matter the circumstance… how?" come to think of it, he was right. No matter what, I was able to make him smile even if I didn't say anything funny or joyful… huh…
"Maybe because I'm you wife," once again, he smiled. When we finally got to my room, I look at the clock, "Holy crap! It's one already? Damn, we gotta get to sleep!" why I felt like we did is beyond me. Neither of us had jobs, no school, and really no obligations…
"Okay, just let me change into some more comfortable clothes," he walks over to the closet and changes into a loose fitting shirt and a pair of long shorts. After that, he went into the bathroom, hopefully to get a shave! I hear him turn it on, and then sigh. He turns it off and walks back out with it in his hands, "Okay… I screwed up. I didn't know how to shave when you told me to, and I didn't clean it…" all of the circular blades were covered in rust, "I'd rather not get a shot in my stomach for using this, so do you mind if I use your razor?"
"You do know that mine isn't electric, right?" he nods, "Hey, feel free, just don't cut yourself!" he walks back into the bathroom and tosses his razor in the garbage. A few minutes later he comes back out with a clear face, "Wow… you really didn't cut yourself!"
"Yeah, lucky me!" I loved the look on his face when he'd joke around. It was so warm, it actually made me happy simply to see him smile, "Okay, we can go to bed now," we both crawl into bed and I turn off the lights, "Night Asuka…" I had my back to him and he was facing me.
"Night…" I was so close to him for some reason. Our bodies were pressing against each other tightly… and I loved it. It wasn't just his emotional warmth that made me comfortable; it was his body warmth as well. Just knowing that he was alive and next to me made me smile. I try to cherish every moment that I can with him because I know that someday – hopefully not anytime soon – he will be gone, and he won't come back. I knew that I'd eventually be alone, I'd be alone with nobody by my side, and I'm mature enough to accept that, but I wasn't ready to handle it.
"Shinji…" I turn and look at him a few inches from his face.
"Yeah Asuka?" that smile…
"You remember what Akagi said about having to get permission to touch me?" his smiled faded slightly, but was still present.
"Um… yeah…"
"You have permission…" I slowly bring him into a kiss and he doesn't deny it. What's new? He never does. To my surprise, he put a hand on my back and pulled me just a little closer… that was fairly new. He's never been the one to pull that – not that I'm complaining of course. I eventually find myself down to nothing, simply sharing his body warmth under his weight. I love him so much… I'd do anything to see him smile… I'd do anything FOR him. When I think back to when we were younger, I can't help but kick myself for how I treated him. Why was I such a bitch to him? Why would I treat him like that? All he ever tried to be was kind towards me… and I just pushed him away.
"Asu… ka…" he was always such a kind hearted person, no matter how I treated him; he was always nice to me. Well… 'nice' didn't really describe him well enough. Yes, he was nice, I'm not saying that he isn't, it just doesn't go into detail enough. He's more like a… well… in a way, he acts like a saint. In general, he had the attitude of a saint. He'd never hurt anyone on purpose, and he'd protect the ones he loves to the end… of course, there is one quality that deprives him of sainthood… he's on top of me right now. He leans down and kisses me softly on the lips, and once again, I absorb his warmth.
What did I ever do to deserve a husband as great as him? Nothing really comes to mind, but apparently I did it. What could I ever do to repay him for all he's done for me? Absolutely nothing. He's helped me live on, he's taken care of me when I needed it, and he's protected me with his very life, all more then once. What have I done for him? I've bailed him out of a few troubled instances, and that's it. That woman was right… all I do for him is cause stress. Even so, I do believe that he loves me, and I KNOW that I love him.
"I love you Shinji… so much…" all I could do for him is stay with him unless he asks otherwise. If he wanted a divorce, I'd give it to him in a second. If that's what he needed to be happy, he'd get it. I really don't see that happening though, not even in a bad dream. It's just so unrealistic that I can't – or rather, won't – imagine it. He'd never leave me in a stable state of mind, I know that… do I? "Shinji… stop…" I wrap my arms around him and pull him tight against my body. I start to whisper into his ear, "Promise me… promise me that you'll never leave… stay with me forever…" he softly kisses my cheek.
"Never again… I promise…" he leans back up and smiles down on me… I love that smile… "I love you Asuka…"
"I… love you too…"
A/N- A good part of this chapter was filler, but the beginning sure wasn't! So, Shinji's back, and Asuka is back to normal. Akagi sure was pissed at Shinji, huh? Well, she may have over reacted, but she did get her point across! So, some good news for all of you, the rest of the fic will be ONLY peace. No fighting, no deaths, no one leaving, just peace. So, find out what happens in the next chapter; Guidance, until then, keep on keepin' on!