Author Note: I'll say everything at the end coz I dunno what to say now!
oOo
"Ding dong, bing bong," Mayuko-Chan sang loudly to no-one in particular, and Rose glared at her.
"Shut up!" she growled, unaware of who was writting the story (muhahahahahaha).
"I didn't say it! Well I did - But the author made me!" Mayuko-Chan protested, pointing accusingly at Joshwales.
"Where is our great, fearless and oh-so-respected role model authoress anyway?" he asked, trying to shift the attention away from him.
His question was answered as the TARDIS door was thrown open and Padme's Sister, Light Queen of Lilies, Cloudhaven 94, Who Wolf and the Flying Beastie all staggered in, completely pissed out of their minds.
"Can I introduce you please, to a lump of cheddar cheese?" Padme's Sister sung loudly. "Knit one, pearl one, drop one, curl one! Kick it!"
"Nah nah nah! Nah nah nah! Nah nah nah, nah nah nah, nah nah!" she and the others all sung loudly, in perfectly stupid voices that only drunk people are capable of. Flying Beastie fell down a step by accident and changed the song.
"COUNTRY GIRL! TAKE MY HAND!" Joshwales joined in as, with a puff of blue smoke, everyone was given an instrument or microphone. Flying Beastie donned a pirates wig aand began recording the song onto LP. The newest fan to join - Stefan - provided the drums and soon-to-be-very-annoying drum rolls for the song, and a week later - well actually on Monday 19th December 2089, Country Girl by ReTardis hit number one in the charts.
oOo
Meanwhile, back in the present, Padme's Sister was lost in the depths of the TARDIS, laughing her head off at the word 'bob', whilst Who Wolf and Light Queen of Lilies were staring in fascination at the bubbles in Timeless Escapes lemonade and Flying Beastie, who'd also got lost, kept shouting "I-am-the-king-of-the-TARDIS!"
"Oh no you're not!" the Doctor cried, completely confused at what the hell was going on.
Suddenly a loud booming voice echoed round the TARDIS.
"Testing testing, one two three. Put your hands upon your knees! (insert hysterical giggles of a drunk person here). This is your Captain speaking and I'd just like to say that I may be a little tipsy, but you're all topsy turvy, anyway, so it don't matter!"
"Oh my god. Is this God speaking?" Miss Kiwi stuttered.
"Course its not, you moron! Would God really be doing this?" Joshwales replied as he pointed to the ceiling. They all listened as Padme's Sister (who's broken into the TARDIS announcement room) belted down the microphone "Why you gotta play that song so loud? Because we want to! Because we want to!"
"Now do I know that song from?" Rose pondered. There was a scream of joy as Cloudhaven 94 ran through the corridors stark naked.
"You-have-no-coverings!-you-will-be-exterminated!" Flying Beastie screamed and Cloudhaven 94 ran back into her room in fright.
"We're off to see the wizard! Actually no, we're off to Ancient Room - I mean Rome!" the Doctor exclaimed, dressed in a toga and sipping water that does not taste or smell like alcohol disguised as water in the glass Miss Kiwi secretly swapped when his back was turned.
There was a stampede towards the wardrobe room and everyone emerged moments later in togas too. After a mad dash towards the door, which resulted in Flying Beastie's toga falling to the floor, the Doctor finally made it out of the door first.
"One small step for me...one giant leap for - POO!"
"Poo?" everyone asked in confusion.
"The Doctor stepped in horse poo!" Joshwales sniggered, just as the Emperor of Rome rode past in his chariot.
"You-are-a-false-God! You-stole-that-title-from-the-God-of-all-Daleks!" Flying Beastie accused. "You-will-be-exterminated!" He rose into the air and blasted the Emperor.
"Now we're in trouble!" Rose realised. "Back to the TARDIS?"
"For a blondie, you're very smart," the Doctor giggled as there was a mad dash back towards the TARDIS.
Everyone collapsed on the floor because they were either too drunk or out of breath to stand up anymore.
All of a sudden the TARDIS exploded!
oOo
Author Note: (the proper one!) Whoa! One hell of an ending there! But I'm gonna pass the reins on to another author now, coz I have the feeling I've kinda taken over a little...ah well...if I can't take over this story, I'll have to make do with the Universe instead (muhahahahaha cough cough)
So yeah, I think Padme's Sister may be taking charge again for a while, but I will say this to everyone! Harm me or Flying Beastie and we're outta here! And no thats not an incentive for you to go and do it! However, I shall return one day - you mark my words!
So a few final words from me. Before I go, I just wanna say you were fantastic...absolutely fantastic!...And d'you know what? So was I!
But there's New Teeth to right now (well old for a while if Padme's Sister does retake the reins) but from me and Flying Beastie...GOODBYE!
(Course I'll still be in the story - I hope- but it won't be the same, will it! And don't say this is an improvement either!)