Chapter 110: A Little Talk
A/N- This chapter was proof-read by Frost-Eva-04, thanks for the help!
Sam and Cass's Room – 11:30 PM That Night
"Sam, why are you doing this? You do love him, right?" I've been talking with her for a good three hours now, and so far, I haven't made any improvements. Shinji is still back in Cass's room, trying to comfort him.
"Of course I do… but I'm just not ready to marry him… why is this such a big deal? Why do I have to have a piece of paper telling us that we love each other? That's all marriage is!" this coming from a girl that was damn near sobbing at my wedding…
"Well… I guess you're right about that, but mentally it's WAY more then that. I can't really describe it… just knowing that you'll be with that person for the rest of your life is… I don't know…" I really couldn't describe it!
"I'm just not ready! I'm not even ready to have this baby!" okay, now she was starting to get on my nerves.
"Well it's not like you have much of a choice at this point. Look, I know what you're going through right now, and it's not easy. Listen, if it helps, we'll be giving birth at nearly the same time, you won't be alone in this," even though it won't be AS bad for me. Yeah, it's still going to hurt like a bitch, but I've already given birth once, things are… 'stretched' for me…
"It's not that I'm worried about… I'm scared of how we're going to raise it… how the hell are we going to afford it?" she really didn't read her contract with NERV did she?
"Don't worry about that, NERV will cover it, all you have to do is be good parents, which I know you will," she smiles a little through all of this.
"Thanks… but I just can't marry him, not yet… I mean, I know I will be later on, but not this early…" there really was no talking her out of this.
"There's nothing any of us can do to convince you?" she simply nods.
"I'm just not ready… let me go talk with him…" she gets up and starts to walk out of the room, "Mind helping me out here?" without a word, I get up and start walking down the hall. I feel so bad for Cass, he wanted this so badly, and now he might not get it at all. When the awkward walk was over and she was walking into his room, she closed the door, cutting me off… like I wasn't going listen in!
"Oh… hi Sam…" was Shinji still in there? "Listen, I'm sorry I asked you, I should have waited until later to do that… please forgive me…" that little sap! Take control!
"Cut the crap Cass," holy shit! "Enough of the self sulking, you asked when you felt you were ready, but you see, I'm not… and the problem is… that I might never be. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you, but I have to tell you what's going on and why I'm doing this. Don't you tell a soul I said this, got it? I'm afraid that our relationship might end up like Asuka and Shinji's. Yes, they're happy with soon to be two kids, but after they got married, they both had one hell of a time. She held a gun to his head, she took Dietlinde from him, and it even got to the point of them almost getting a divorce. Truthfully, I doubt that marriage will last past their twenties, they just weren't ready for it, I'm not ready for it, and I highly doubt you are," she takes a short pause, "Cass, talk."
"Thanks a lot Sam," the door swings open and I stand up normal to see a pissed Shinji… shit… "Come on Asuka," with Dietlinde in his arms, he took my hand and walked away from that room. What the hell just happened?
"Shinji, wait!" I see Sam walk back out of the room with a worried look on her face, "I'm sorry! Come back!" he didn't stop though. His face was… enraged… he didn't even look down at me…
"Shinji…" I tried not to talk at all on the way back to our room, but I couldn't help but mutter his name. When we finally get back to our room – which seemed to take forever – he quickly put an obviously worried Dietlinde back in her crib and stormed back out of the room.
"Watch Dietlinde, I'll be back," his voice seemed normal… but it… I don't know, just something was different. That normal attitude he would have is gone, that normal warmth that I craved. Yes, what Sam said was WAY out of line, but for him to get that mad at another person is rare; hell, it was damn near an impossibility… I couldn't leave him alone; he might do something he'll regret later. After grabbing Dietlinde, I quietly walk out of the room. Now the problem is actually finding him! Maybe he went back to Cass's room… I couldn't think of anything else, so I slowly walk there. I didn't even mean to walk slow, it was more of a subconscious thing; I knew that he'd be so pissed off, and I'd rather not be around to see that! When I finally get outside of Cass's room I immediately her yelling… yep, that's Shinji.
"Who the hell are you to tell us how our relationship is! Behind our backs none the less!" well, technically, he was right there, she just didn't know it! "I'll be the first to admit that our marriage isn't perfect, and I doubt it will ever be, but I'll be damned if you think you can tell us what's wrong with it! Working through the problems is what marriage is about, and if you can't realize that, then you're not ready for it! Me and Asuka have been through hell like you can't even imagine, yet we're still together. I'd die… I HAVE died for her, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Can you honestly say that you would do that for Cass? I know for a fact that he would for you!" holy shit! He was more pissed then I thought!
"Of course I would!" she immediately shot back. I couldn't help it anymore; I slowly opened the door and peeked inside. Shinji was standing up looking down at Sam in the chair. Cass was basically helpless in his bed with a face that was begging for this fight to stop.
"Then prove it…" he reached in his back pocket and pulled out a small gun, "You have two seconds," he pointed it at a now pale Cass. Sam knew exactly what was happening, but she didn't make a move. Her eyes were basically dinner plates, and frankly, so were mine! What the hell was he doing! "One second," she still didn't make a move, "Time's up…" he pulled the trigger and I buried Dietlinde's face in my chest, not wanting her to see this. Sam screamed, forcing me to look up at a frozen Cass and a smoking gun barrel, "Blanks, you couldn't even protect him from blanks," he threw the gun down and stormed out of the room, once again running into me.
"Shinji, don't you think that was a little harsh?" Dietlinde wasn't crying, but I could tell that she was close, "I mean, you just scared this shit out of her!"
"I don't give a fuck! She needs to learn to watch what she says!" he looked back and gave her the look from hell before walking off, this time without me, "And I told you to stay behind," Jesus, what was up with him! I put out my arm and make him stop walking.
"What the fuck is wrong with you! Yeah, what she said was hurtful, but you could have ruined their relationship with that little stunt you just pulled! You had no right to do that!" this wasn't my normal Shinji, he wouldn't act like this… and yet he was…
"And she had no right to judge us like that! I was trying to make a point, and I did. If they can't work through this, then they aren't ready for any kind of relationship! You know that's-" Dietlinde started to cry loudly from all the yelling… either that or she was upset that her parents were fighting, "Ugh… here, let me see her," I hold her a little closer to me.
"No… you're too angry, you'll just make it worse," I know that hurt him like crazy, but it was true. Dietlinde is scared of him when he's angry; true, that is my fault because she saw him shoot a man, but still. He took a small sigh and closed his eyes.
"Asuka… go and put Dietlinde to bed… we need to talk…" oh shit… he's pissed! Wait… why am I worried? I'm his wife, what can he do to me? Plus, I've been in control of this relationship ever since it started!
"Um… okay…" come on Asuka! Straighten up! And yet I still did what he told me to do… damn it! When I get back to our room, I slowly set Dietlinde – who is still crying – back in her crib. After about ten minutes of trying to comfort her, she finally fell asleep. Where is he? It's only a one minute walk from the hospital to here! Simply out of curiosity, I walk out of the room to see him sitting against the wall with his arms resting on his knees; his head hung low, "Shinji?"
"I'm sorry…" okay, I'm lost now. Wasn't this the man that was just firing blanks at one of his best friends not half an hour ago? I cross my arms and glare down at him.
"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, you really hurt Sam back there," he looks up at me with empty eyes.
"And you don't think what she said hurt? It might not be affecting you, but that hurt like hell to me… saying that our marriage won't last past our thirties… I swore to be with you forever, and she knows that…" he once again dropped his head, "Do you think what she said was true?" with a soft sigh and feeling defeated, I take a seat next to him.
"No, but what I do think is that we need to start communicating better. I know that I'm digging myself into a hole right now, but you need to tell me when I'm doing something you don't like…like putting a gun to your head…" he chuckled a little, "Or did you like that…?" I lay my head on his shoulder and try to relax.
"Eh, a little punishment here and there is fine with me…" I lightly slap his chest and smirk.
"Pervert…" he once again chuckles, "But seriously, you need to swallow what little pride you have and apologize, even if you don't think what you did was wrong," jeez, it feels like I'm talking to an infant!
"I'm sorry, but I won't do that, I-" I cut him off before he could finish.
"No sex if you don't," he immediately gets up and stretches his arms above his head.
"Okay, I think I need to go apologize to Sam and Cass…" he really needs to think outside the box! He's not the only one with raging hormones here! I wouldn't last two months after this baby is born before I'm all over him!
"Good boy," but still, its fun to tease! After he walks off, I go back into our room to see Dietlinde once again awake and silently playing with her toy bear. I love this girl so much; she has so much personality even for a seven month old. I eventually find myself next to her crib holding her bear and playing with her. I can't believe that it's only been seven months, so much has happened… hell, what's happened to her alone is enough to drive a grown man insane! I guess it runs in the family…
Soon, I have her in my arms on the chair, gently cradling her to sleep. To think that we made this… me and Shinji made life… two simple cells joined, and the result is this tiny person. As she gets older, I'm able to see some of Shinji's qualities in her. She defiantly has his smile… well… I guess that all she got from him! Seriously, seeing old baby pictures of myself and looking at Dietlinde, we look like twins. I wonder if she'll grow up looking like me… a lot can happen in a few years! She could end up looking like Shinji with breasts for all we know!
"I love you…" I softly stroke her silk soft hair, only sending her deeper into her slumber. She'll have a sister pretty soon too… well, not TOO soon, almost double her life! I wonder how she'll take it. I mean, will she be jealous? How will she treat the baby itself? I guess if we raise her right, she'll treat her younger sibling normally. I can guarantee that she knows something is wrong with me; she's been growingly curious about my stomach enlarging. Four months now, and I damn near look six months pregnant! It's going to get to the point of me being unable to hold her comfortably… of course I'll spend time with her, just not actually holding her as much. Well, the good news is that when the baby finally DOES come, Dietlinde will either be walking or getting pretty close to it… that just hit me like a ton of bricks… she's already becoming independent… jeez Asuka, she's still a baby! She won't be independent until she hits her teen years – that's if she doesn't take after me growing up wise! Hell, I was independent at seven!
She's started to discover language in the last few months, she knows that we communicate through sounds, and she's been using that plenty of times! No, she's still awhile from actually being able to have a conversation, but makes certain sounds when she's hungry, needs to be changed, things like that.
Only a few weeks left until we're in our new home! Hopefully Sam will forgive Shinji so we don't have a constant battle in the house… I'm sure she will… I hope. She is pregnant after all – which she isn't taking too well! Her hormones are basically screwing her up so badly it's like she isn't even Sam anymore… wait… what if that's why she said no? Maybe she wasn't thinking straight… and why the fuck do I care! Damn, I guess mine are taking a toll too… well, even if, I'm not nearly as bad as her!
A few minutes later, I find myself slowly dozing off with Dietlinde still in my arms. It is getting pretty late… Shinji will wake me up when he gets back, I'll just fall asleep until then… that sounds good…
A/N- Man… I had no idea any of that was going to happen! This chapter was SUPPOSED to have Sam and Cass having a heart filled conversation, ending with her saying yes… I guess I kinda got off track, huh? Well, anyway, yet another deep thought scene with Asuka. I seem to do better with her then with Shinji when it comes to emotional scenes, course Shinji is better for action! Well, not much to say about the next chapter, but the title kinda gives it away. So, read the next chapter; Family Time, until then, keep on keepin' on!