Author Note: SO here we are...the super market...and those of you who are fans of Flying Beastie may already have read his newest chapter, which means that you know what's gonna happen...so SHHHHHH! Don't tell!
But yeah...went to see the new pirates movie the other day, so this chapter is kinda pirate based in a very small, very mini way...hope you don't mind...but that does mean that i have to do another disclaimer, so please bare with me...
Disclaimer (yawn): I don't own Doctor Who, its characters, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Brand New Adventures of Flying Beastie, or any of you fans who've joined. I don't even own the word 'randomness' DAMMNIT!
So there we are...boring bit's over...now for some serious randomness!
oOo
So, a few hours after Beastie's departure, the others had all gone their seperate ways within the TARDIS and Rose and the Doctor happened to end up in the kitchen. Rose actually had a good reason to be there...the Doctor didn't, until -
"Doctor...we've run out of sweets!" Rose cried as she crawled into one cupboard and re-emerged out of another on the other side of the room.
"Why do you need sweets?" the Doctor asked, trying to keep track of her as she disappeared back inside the cupboard and re-appeared in the one above the kitchen sink.
"Because we're going to the cinema tonight, remember? We need sweets!"
"Oh...erm...have you tried that one over there?" he asked, pointing to one beside the fridge. Rose once again disappeared and re-appeared in said cupboard, shaking her head.
"Nothing here but a bag of mouldy potatoes." She threw the bag out and it exploded. "Make that a bag of mouldy, explosive potatoes!"
"Hmmm, I guess for the first time ever, we've actually run out of something then," the Doctor realised in surprise. "But don't you need popcorn for a movie and sweets for a party?"
"Eh? Same difference," Rose replied, disappearing back in the cupboard. Then she fell out of the one above the bin, followed by a whole heap of paper clips.
"Why do you have cupboards full of paper clips, for gods sakes!" she muttered, picking herself up and storming off. The Doctor shrugged and followed her.
oOo
And so it was that the TARDIS found itself parked in a mother and child space in ASDA's car park.
"Why are we in the mother and child parking?" Mayuko-Chan asked.
"Because its nearer to the store," the Doctor replied matter-of-factly. "Besides, whose gonna argue with a big blue box? Its not a car, therefor its not breaking any laws. And you lot act like children, so who's gonna argue with you?"
"True," Mayuko-Chan shrugged and they all trailed off to the store.
As soon as they were through the entrance, the crew swarmed off in different directions, spreading out to conquere the whole store.
"Its an invasion!" one of the till staff cried.
"No, its too late for that!" the Doctor shouted back. "Its a victory!"
The Doctor, Orlando and Joshwales headed for the magazine isle (Isle? You mean there's a whole island dedicated to magazines? Wow! Give me the co-ordinates!), Padme's Sister, Captain Jack, Rose, Mayuko-Chan and Cloudhaven94 headed for the alcohol, and everyone else headed for anything that took their fancy.
"Oooh! A new Pirates of the Caribbean magazine! Complete with comic book of the newest movie!" the Doctor cried in delight, picking said magazine up. "I really wanna see that!"
"We are! Tonight! Remember?" Orlando replied from behind the magazine he'd picked up - Doctor Who adventurers.
"Why are you two reading childrens magazines?" Joshwales asked as he dumped a copy of Smash Hits in the trolley.
He received no reply, as both men were too engrossed in their own magazines to even hear him.
Briar Elwood mooched down towards them with Silent Seabreeze and the both peered over the Doctor's shoulder.
"Whatcha readin?" they asked.
"WAGH! Who are you? How did you find us, and WAGH!" the Doctor screamed in fright, throwing the magazine over his shoulder by accident. It caught Timeless Escape in the eye, she staggered backwards and fell into a stack of baked beans. They came crashing down around her and the others, so to escape the cascade, the Doctor leapt into the trolley with Joshwales, Orlando gave them a shove, leapt in beside them and off they all went, whizzing through to store to escape the tidal wave of beans.
As they skidded round a corner, almost crashing into Miss Kiwi, Stefan began another of his drum rolls and Miss Kiwi's eyes lit up.
"That looks fun," she said to Who Wolf, who nodded in agreement. "Got the trolley?"
"Its full of potatoes," Who Wolf explained.
"Why?"
"Because Rose exploded the other ones."
"Oh...I'll go get a new trolley then," Miss Kiwi decided, running off to the trolley park.
Who Wolf ran after the three guys in the runaway trolley. "Oi! Wanna race? Oi! Hey wait! Wait!"
Briar Elwood and Silent Seabreeze stared in confusion at the mayhem, then turned to each other and shook hands.
"Hi," they said at the same time, then grinned.
oOo
Padme's Sister was wandering down the booze aisle, not looking where she was going. Infact she was reading a list of what she needed.
"Carling, Carlsberg, Stella, Bacardi, Archers...why do we need all these drinks? And why are my legs moving, but I'm not!"
She looked up to find that she'd walked into another shopping trolley, and although her legs were legs were still moving...she wasn't.
Hang on...her legs were legs? Eh? Of course her legs were legs! Damned typo. Anyways, as I was saying...
She looked up to the owner of the trolley and gasped.
"GASP! Bad Wolf's Sister! My Sister!"
"Padme's Sister! My Sister!" Bad Wolf's Sister cried and the two hugged.
"Hang on," The Tenth Doctor's Companion (from now on called TTDC) said as he joined them. "One, you're like from a whole other story, and two, you're Bad Wolf's Sister and Padme's Sister! Not Padme's Sister's Sister and Bad Wolf's Sister's Sister!"
"Ok, one, you're from a spin off of my story, so we're allowed crossovers now and then," Padme's Sister explained. "And two shut up about the names! We get confused enough as it is!"
Bad Wolf's Sister pulled out a copy of Flying Beastie's story's latest chapter and skimmed through it.
"Right, says here that we didn't actually say that then...instead I'm supposed to say this...ready?"
"Ready," TTDC and Padme's Sister replied together.
"Ok. Padme's Sister, what are you doing here?" Bad Wolf's Sister sniggered. Padme's Sister peered over her shoulder to read her line.
"We were just doing a bit of shopping..." she peered over her shoulder, but none of the others had arrived like they were supposed to. Clearing her throat and raising her voice, she repeated "WE WERE JUST DOING A BIT OF SHOPPING!"
"Alright, alright! We heard you the first time!" Rose exclaimed as she appeared carrying a crate of Carling. Captain Jack, Mayuko-Chan and Cloudhaven 94 followed carrying even more. "Jack wouldn't leave the rum section."
TTDC relieved them of the boxes and added them to his trolley that already contained 2 crates of Bicardi Breezers, 10 crates of WKD and 200 bottles of pure Russian Vodka.
"Bicardi? Is that like a substitute for Bacardi or something?" Rose asked as she studdied the crate.
"Is this a dream?" Jack asked, also eyeing all the booze.
"Nope," everyone replied.
"Thought not. If it was, there'd be rum."
"You and your bloody rum!"
"I'm a pirate. And besides , why is all the rum gone?"
oOo
"Right. Ready. Steady. GO!" Miss Kiwi shrieked and Who Wolf and Orlando began pushing their trolleys as fast as they could, then leapt in beside their partners (Joshwales and the Doctor). The two trolleys skidded round the outskirts of the store, and on his way past the DVD aisle, the Doctor snatched up a certain Volume 3 DVD, earning him an extra ten points and a DVD to watch later that night.
They both zoooooomed past Miss Kiwi at lightning speed on their second lap and Miss Kiwi completely missed them because she blinked.
"Damnit!" she muttered, then turned to Timeless Escape. "What happened to you?"
"I got beaned!" Timeless Escape replied, wiping bean juice from her face and liking her finger. "Mmmmm, I love cold beans. Want one?"
"I think I'll pass," Miss Kiwi replied as the trolleys came back into view again. Stefan began another drum roll as they passed for a third lap.
oOo
"Hmmm, it says here that I'm meant to buy another 1200 Plasma Screens with you," Padme's Sister said, skimming through Flying Beastie's latest chapter. "But I can't, coz one I can't afford it, and two, I got nowhere to put em all."
"Oh do be serious!" Bad Wolf's Sister exclaimed. "You've got the TARDIS! You can fit anything in it if you try hard enough!"
"Fine. But how are we meant to get a couple of pubs and a private jet in there too? They won't fit through the door!"
"Oh don't worry about them. They're Flying Beastie's. He can keep em at his Mansion. Oh and that reminds me, you're all invited to the biggest party in the Universe this evening."
"Coolio! A word I've never used before, and will probably use every day from now until forever! But we were gonna go see a film tonight...sorry."
"Hey, we've just bought god knows how many tv screens. You could watch the film at our place...that way everyone can watch it together. Plus there's free drinks."
"Free drinks? Now you're talkin'!" Padme's Sister grinned. "But we were gonna watch Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. That hasn't even been released as a pirate DVD yet(hey a pirate pirate DVD!) ! Let alone ordinary and perfectly legal DVD! So how are we gonna watch it?"
"Leave that to us," Captain Jack and Rose said together, and they ran off hand in hand out of the store.
"I sure hope the Doctor didn't just see that," Padme's Sister groaned.
oOo
As it happened, the Doctor did see it, but seeing as he was travelling 1000mph -or so his broken speedometer said -
"Its not broken...it just doesn't point North!"
Ok, whatever...anyways, as he was travelling so fast, they were only a blur, so he didn't notice.
"LAST LAP!" Miss Kiwi shrieked as they past.
"Right, what bonus item did we miss?" the Doctor asked Orlando, who was driving the trolley.
"Erm...I dunno. Was it the Top Trump cards?"
"Nope...got three of them. Lets see...Volume 3 DVD, Top Trumps, TARDIS manual with build your own TARDIS, The Feast of the Drowned book and CD, The Stone Rose book and CD, The Resurrection Casket book and CD, action figures...erm...oh I know! Get me closer to the toys! We missed the Cyberman!"
"WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNER!" Miss Kiwi cried, bouncing up and down on a trampoline as the Doctor and Orlando screeched to a halt seconds infront of Joshwales and Who Wolf. Just then Flying Beastie and Padme's Sister arrived.
"Everyone...we're going to Ibiza!" Padme's Sister sang and Flying Beastie pushed past her.
"We're going back to mine for a mahoosively gigantanormous PARTAY!"
"YAY!" Everyone cried, loading their trolleys up with as much party food as possible and storming the checkouts, paying for everything with Flying Beastie's unlimited credit card.
When they arrived back at the mansion, TTDC headed for the DJ decks and everyone else headed for either the massive pool on the private jet, or the booze bar.
oOo
Meanwhile, out the back of the local Cineworld, Jack and Rose were formulating a plan.
"Right, so you distract the guard and I'll sneak in and snatch the film," Rose said. "Got that?"
"Yep. You distract the guard and I sneak in and snatch the film."
"No! YOU distract the guard and I sneak in and snatch the film."
"Thats what I said! You distract the guard, I snatch the film!"
"NO, NO, NO!" Rose cried, stamping her foot. "YOU distract the guard, I snatch the film! I! Me! ROSE TYLER!"
"Yes that's your name. Don't wear it out."
"GRRRRRRRRRR," Rose clenched her fist, ready to punch Jack when a guard came out and they froze, then dived behind a huge wheelie bin.
"Who's there?" the guard asked.
"Erm, a cat?" Rose replied before she could stop herself.
"Oh alright then," the guard shrugged and went back inside. Rose and Jack stared at each other in amazement, shrugged and walked straight in the back door, past the guard, up to the room where the films were kept, swiped the film and walked back out past the guard again.
"Have a nice day!" the guard called after them.
"We will, ta!" Jack cried over his shoulder, then ran into a lamp post.
"OOOOOOOW!"
"Move it Jack, before he realises that I nicked 'Cars' aswell!"
"Why did you nick that?"
"Why not?"
"Pirate," Jack grinned as they legged it even faster down the street, with film reels stuffed up their shirts.