Chapter 112: Toji's Past

A/N- Once again, proof-read by Frost-Eva-04. Thanks again!

Outside Of NERV – 10:30 AM

"It took you long enough to get here! Hurry up!" before the car even stopped Asuka was out and running towards the entrance of NERV. I ran right after her as fast as I could, but she left me in the dust… how is it that a four month pregnant woman is out running me?

"Asuka! Wait up!" finally – at Akagi's office door – I catch up to her. she ran in without knocking and I followed in after her.

"Ritsuko, we can't fi-… how the hell?" we both freeze at the sight of Akagi holding Dietlinde… what the fuck?

"Okay, I know what you're thinking, and before you flood me with questions, I'll answer them. Apparently, Shinji told Toji to come to NERV if he ever needed help, and on his way here he ran across Dietlinde, who was crawling out of the forest leading to the lake… I take it you two were there?" we both nod weakly, "What the fuck were you two doing that was so important that you forgot about your own child!" her blank face was replaced with one of fury… I guess we deserved that…

"We… fell asleep… I guess she got up and left…" I didn't even know that Dietlinde COULD crawl that far! You'd think that she would get tired after awhile… apparently not… Asuka hurried over and took Dietlinde from Akagi's arms, hugging her tight. She seemed okay aside form being confused as hell… wait… Toji came?

"Ritsuko? Toji came here? Where is he?" both women looked at me with 'the look' every guy dreads.

"You just lost your daughter and all you can think about is where your drug addicted friend is? You're sick!" Asuka was the first to make a comment…

"You really should think before you talk Shinji…" and there was Akagi…

"Sorry… I just wanted to thank him for bringing her back, she could have been killed if she went into the street," they both lose the glare and Akagi sits back down in her chair.

"He's in the hospital; he wasn't exactly in perfect health when he came to us. If you want to go see him, he's in room 202… careful though… he's going through withdrawal… what happened to him Shinji?" how am I supposed to know?

"I don't know… I think after he found out Hikari died he kinda lost it… I'm going to see him…" with one last look at Asuka, I walk out of the room. a few seconds later, I hear the door open after me to show Asuka following me, "You don't have to come you know," she looked up at me with still teary eyes.

"He may be a moron, but he's a friend, he needs help through this," did Asuka just call Toji a friend? Damn… that's new!

"Yeah… listen, sorry about before, you know I didn't mean it like that," she shook her head.

"Forget about it; that just brought back a few memories… I just freaked out…" I wrap my arm around her and smile.

"Well, let's forget that I said that, okay? As you used to say, 'guys are idiots'," she chuckled and slightly nodded… hey! "Anyway, I hope Toji is willing to talk with us about what he's gone through," he's got me curious as hell!

"Yeah… he might not right now though… you think he's doing okay?" well, all I know about withdrawal is what I've seen on TV, and even then they don't show too much.

"I have no idea…" just then we stop outside of his door. Without a word, I sigh and slowly open the door to see him on the bed sleeping, hooked up to tubes and wires, "Damn…" his head shot up and turned towards us, making both of us jump out of our skin.

"Shit Shinji… don't do that…" he head plopped back down onto the pillow, "What happened to you guys? I just found Dietlinde leaving some forest on my way here," honestly, how irresponsible could we be? If Toji hadn't been there… I can't even think about it…

"We… kinda fell asleep at the lake and she crawled off…" even our excuse is stupid! We both walk over and take a seat next to his bed, "Thanks for finding her…" he smiles and waved his hand in the air.

"Don't worry about it, really. Always gotta help an Ikari, right?" he gave a weak smile and looked at Dietlinde, "She's really grown since I last saw her… the only reason I knew she was yours was because a red head in Japan isn't exactly the most common thing… that and she looks exactly like you, Asuka," damn, Toji's become a real emotional this past year.

"Thanks… really…" Asuka smiled down at Dietlinde in her arms and Dietlinde smiled right back.

"I thought Shinji was kidding, but you really are pregnant again! Shinji, have you ever heard of protection? Or was this one planned?" I chuckled, but not for that comment. He was right to some extent, out of all the times we've had sex I've only worn a condom once.

"No… it was after the wedding… and… yeah…" Asuka blushed and smiled nervously, "I mean, we DID do it like, four times…" now she was smirking!
"Okay! Too much information! I'd rather not talk about my friends having sex, thank you!" me and Asuka chuckle while Toji damn near gags, "Seriously though, congratulations on the new baby. How's the marriage been going?" weren't we supposed to be the ones asking him questions?

"Great, thanks. We had some… trouble early on," she calls our baby being killed, us invading SEELE, and her getting shot a SOME trouble?

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm glad you two worked through it, you always do…" an awkward silence fell over the room that even made Dietlinde uncomfortable.

"Toji… what happened to you?" finally, I get the words out. I leaned his head back and closed his eyes, "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to…" I may have just pressed the wrong button on him…

"No, you deserve to know… after I ran off; I went back home to and empty house, what's new? I needed someone… but no one was there… that was the first time in my life that I actually cried and couldn't stop… when my parents finally DID come home at twelve that night, I asked for help. I said that I needed to talk with someone – anyone – and do you know what both of them said to me? 'Not now, we're tired.' They saw that I was hurting, and yet they still went to bed, leaving me in my room crying to myself…" I see a tear roll down his face and he takes a short break, "H-Hikari… I was going to propose to her… I loved her…"

"She loved you too…" without looking up from Dietlinde, Asuka spoke, "She would constantly talk about you…" Toji shot his head up and looked at Asuka with wide eyes, "She really liked you Toji… neither of you ever made a move though…" a few seconds later, he lets his head fall back down onto the pillow.

"Anyway… that night, I ran away," looks like he doesn't want to talk about Hikari, "I WAS going to the lake… I was planning on killing myself… on my way there, I ran across this one guy… long story short, I ended up addicted to meth… when my parents found out, they kicked me out of the house and I ended up living on the streets… I was like that for a good four months before you came along… I only came here for food, but Rits recognized me and landed me in here…" man… his life really got fucked up…

"Are you going through withdrawal?" he once again sighed at my question.

"Truthfully… I had a hit before I came… so not yet… I'd say in about an hour though I will…" that has GOT to suck, "Listen guys… I just want to be alone… go spend time with Dietlinde, she needs it more then I do…" we both stand up and I put my hand on his shoulder.

"If you need anything, I don't care what time it is, just ask one of the nurses to call me, okay?" he smiles weakly and nods. With nothing more, Asuka and I left his room with heads hung low and hearts pounding.

"I'm worried about him… he's obviously depressed…" well I don't blame him!

"Yeah… I think that we should just leave him alone for awhile, he needs to look at himself for a little bit," I wrap my arm around Asuka after I finish talking.

"Yeah, I guess… we should also follow his advice and spend some time with Dietlinde… no lake though, okay?" I smirk a little. How she can turn something like THAT into something funny is way beyond me.

"Got ya… so… what? Do you just want to stay in the room or something?" just as we reach our door, we see Sam storming down the hallway. The look on her face was… odd… it was angry; there was no doubt about that, but something else. It looked like she was hurt… before either of us could stop her, she slams her door shut, leaving us in the hallway.

"Um… what just happened here?" I let out a long sigh and let go of Asuka.

"Probably something between her and Cass I'm sure… you get Sam and I'll get Cass… see you later…" I walk away as I speak to Asuka. What the hell is going on between those two now? Let me guess, she said yes then CASS said no? Probably something stupid like that… when I finally get to Cass's room, I see him blankly staring at the ceiling, "Hey Cass, are you okay?" might as well skip right to the subject, right? He didn't respond, he just closed his eyes and rolled onto his side, "Um… Cass? You okay?"

"Just leave…" well, at least it was a response!

"What's wrong?" that tone in his voice… I've never heard it before…

"I said leave…" showing my stubbornness, I take the seat next to him, "Shinji… are you deaf or just stupid? Leave…" ouch… that one hurt! Come to think of it, Asuka said those exact same words to me once when we were younger.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong. Did something happen with Sam?" I saw him cringe a little, "Did you two have a fight? What?" he clenched the sheets and stiffened up his body… maybe I should leave…

"She… broke up with me…" I saw a small tear run down his face…

A/N- Yeah, short as hell chapter, but I couldn't really go any further… that and I wanted to create some suspense! So… if you're wondering how Cass is doing… to bad! It'll be Asuka first person next chapter, so she'll obviously be speaking with Sam. Why did she break it off right when she's having a baby? Will they get back together? Find out in the next chapter; Explain Yourself, until then, keep on keepin' on!