Changes Sequel – I. Darkness Part 3
Crying while her arms were tightly wrapped around her body, Ororo laid on the floor of her bedroom and sobbed heavily. She didn't notice that the door to the room was opened or that someone was kneeling down next to her. Not even that this person was taking her into its arms.
"'Ro," Kurt said gently, despite his own grief and stroked over her back soothingly, while he pulled her close.
Touching leather, she suddenly realized that her husband was wearing his uniform. Confused but also frightened, she looked up. "What…?" she asked him and shook her head in bewilderment.
Kurt wiped her tears gently away and met her gaze. "Scott wants to look for them. We're leaving now."
"But…," Ororo still shook her head, looking at him in fear. "No… I mean…sure we need to find them, but…" She sighed and buried her face in her hands. This was just a nightmare. She felt completely confused and didn't know what to do. It was just too much for her to handle. "You don't even know what happened," she finally said and cupped his face. "I don't want that something happens to you, too."
Seeing the tears which gathered in her eyes again, Kurt shook his head. "We'll be fine."
"Yeah, that's what Logan said, too," she cried and clung to him sobbing. Holding tight onto him, she gave her emotion free reign. She didn't even dare to imagine if something happened to him, too. She couldn't understand how Scott could even give the order to head to Mexico without knowing what exactly had happened. For her, it was obvious that something must was there which had caused the incident. That was the only explanation she had. She knew, was completely convinced that Charles would have never sent them off to the mission without checking first that it really wasn't dangerous. It had been a deal between Logan and him, because the X-Man had told him straight ahead that he would neither allow Jean to go on a dangerous mission nor go by himself after their third child was born. As their leader, Logan had always checked twice that no one was endangered before they head off. And Ororo also trusted the Professor to keep to it. He had never sent them onto missions which were life threatening for them and she was convinced that he didn't know about any threat in Mexico. Sobbing, she looked up at Kurt, who met her gaze in sympathy. She didn't know what to say or do. Of course she was aware of Jean's need to know what happened, to have her husband back... She, too, would have been restless if something had happened to Kurt, but still… "I don't want you to go," she whispered between several sobs and he kissed her tenderly.
"I'll be fine. I promise," Kurt replied and stroked her cheek gently. "Just have faith, okay?"
Finally, Ororo nodded and he helped her up. Hugging him tightly, she kissed him once more, before he walked over to the door. "We'll find them!" he told her convinced and saw how she wrapped her arms around her body.
"Please, be careful!" she managed to say, before he was gone. Looking at the spot, where he'd stood a few seconds ago, for a while, Ororo ran a hand through her face and took a deep breath. Within, she knew that they had to leave. She probably would have gone herself just to find them. Heaving a deep sigh, she straightened her clothes and left their room to look for the Professor. Walking down the corridors, she met a lot of students who were looking at her in confusion since no one could understand why their classes were cancelled all of a sudden. Not knowing what to tell them, she only smiled briefly, before she walked past.
"Hey, 'Ro!" Her heart immediately kicked into high gear as she recognized the voice. Slowly, she turned around and looked into hazel eyes, which eyed her curiously. "What's wrong? Why don't we have classes?" Jack watched her closely with the same speculative look his father always gave strangers or someone he thought was lying. "It's nothing wrong with dad, right?"
Heaving a deep sigh, Ororo couldn't look at him anymore. She just didn't know what to tell him. She couldn't tell him the truth, but she couldn't tell him a lie either. Nevertheless, she knew him well enough that he wouldn't stop asking before he got an answer. "It's was just an emergency. Some of us had to leave, so…we don't have enough teachers to give classes right now."
"You didn't answer my question!" Jack crossed his arms in front of his chest and cocked an eyebrow at her. Immediately Ororo's heart rate gained speed. He knew that she was lying; she could tell it by the way he was looking at her. The boy was just too much like his father. Sighing, she kneeled down and ran a hand through his unruly hair; smiling when she noticed that he had tried to handle it with hair gel. "We haven't heard anything, yet, Jack." Well, it was at least a semi-truth…
Nodding, the boy looked down. Thinking about something before he met her eyes again. "'Kay," he only said and turned around to walk down the corridor into the opposite direction.
Watching him sadly, Ororo bit her lip. She didn't want to think about what would happen if the boy had to face the truth. His father meant everything to him, was his closest friend… The only person he shared the same interests with even if he was still young. Looking down, briefly, she finally headed down the corridor again and knocked at Charles' office door after reaching it. Waiting for his reply, she entered it and sat down in front of his desk. Looking at her opposite she noticed the tensed look on his usually gentle face.
"How did she take it?" he asked her calmly and she knew who he was talking about.
Shrugging, Ororo bent forward and ran a hand through her face. "Not good. She threw me out."
Charles nodded and sighed before he shook his head. "I still don't understand it. There was no sign of danger…" He clearly was at a loss of words, knew that it was his fault alone. That he had destroyed a family…
"It's not your fault, Charles," she replied and met his eyes. "I know you would have never sent him and the others onto a mission without checking if it was safe…"
"I shouldn't have sent him at all," he said and folded his hands in anger. "He's a father of three little children… I should have…"
Suddenly, the door slammed open and made both mutants look up. Furiously, Jean entered the office and glared at the Professor, who could only look at her in fear.
"Jean…," he began after swallowing hard and shook his head while he looked for the right words. "I'm so sorry…"
"How could you!" the red head asked him aloud and made him wince. Glaring at him, while her fists were clenched, she stepped closer.
"Jean," Ororo said and tried to intervene. "It's not his fault…"
The addressed ignored her completely. She had only eyes for the man behind the desk who was looking at her frightened. "How could you send him onto that mission? You said it wasn't a dangerous one!" she asked him angrily and her voice broke.
"And it wasn't!" Charles replied, finally awaking from his shock. "Jean, you have to believe me! I would have never sent Logan away if it was a dangerous one. We don't know what happened!" He looked at her pleadingly, begging her to listen to him.
The red head snorted and still glared at him. "Doesn't help me much, does it?" she shot back cynically and started to cry again.
The Professor felt his heart contracting painfully when he heard her sobs. It hurt him a lot to see her like this. The guilt he felt suddenly became unbearable. Ororo exchanged glances with him briefly, before she laid a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Jean, please!" she begged her and hoped to soothe her somehow. Even if she knew nothing would help to ease the pain she currently felt. "We know how you feel…"
With fiery eyes, Jean pushed her roughly away, giving her a piercing look. "You know nothing!" she yelled at them and felt how the anger began to overwhelm her. It wasn't only her who felt the deep pain, also her counterpart mourned for her loss. As much as she loved Logan, as strong were Dark Phoenix's feelings for the feral Wolverine. And now her counterpart wanted to take revenge. Wanted to make those ones who were responsible feel the same pain she felt now. "I lost my husband, 'Ro! My children lost their father and I have to tell them that they will never see him again!" she kept on yelling at them, while she was close to collapse because of her heavy sobs. "So don't tell me you know how I feel! You can't know it," she added hysterically before she covered her face with her hands and cried heartrendingly. Ororo, who had only watched her during the outburst, was crying again, too. Walking over to her friend, she embraced her tightly, but Jean dropped to the ground, taking her with her.
Charles could only close his eyes in grief, feeling the guilt deep within her. Even if Ororo was right that he couldn't have sensed the danger, it was still him who had sent the X-Men onto that mission. "I'm so sorry, Jean. I really am…"
Ororo, still holding her tight, buried her face on her neck. "Scott, Hank and Kurt are trying to find them," she told her calmly and stroked over her back soothingly, while Jean shook under her heavy sobs. "So that we can give them at least a proper goodbye," she added but her voice broke instantly and she cried again.
Charles, who had looked down into emptiness most of the time, suddenly turned his gaze towards the still open door. Immediately his eyes widened. "Jack…"
Shocked, Jean looked up quickly and saw her son standing in the doorway with clenched fists. His eyes, much darker as usual, glared at her in hate. "Sweetheart…," she said barely audible and heard him panting in anger.
"Why did you let him go?" he asked her darkly and ignored the others completely. He only had eyes for his mother, who was kneeling on the ground like a picture of misery.
"Jack…," Ororo began, but stopped as Jean raised her voice.
"Honey I…," she said but shook her head at the loss of words. She didn't know what she could possibly tell him.
"Lil' told you, so why did you let him go!" the boy yelled at her while tears where running down his cheeks. "Why didn't you stop him!"
Jean only looked at him in despair, forgetting about her own pain for a moment. It was the first time she saw him like this. The first time ever, he got angry at all. "Jack, I didn't…"
"I hate you!" the boy only yelled and ran off, leaving his mother staring at the door in shock.
"Jack, wait!" Ororo called and ran after him, but when she reached the door, he already was out of sight. Sighing, she closed her eyes briefly and ran a hand through her face. Turning around, she looked into Jean's shocked face and saw the silent tears which were dropping to the ground. Shaking her head, she knew what the woman thought. "Jean, he's shocked. He doesn't mean it, do you hear me?"
Slowly, the red head got up and looked at her opposite with complete empty eyes "He does…"
"He's a child, Jean," Charles intervened, not believing that the grown up really took this outburst seriously. "He's a child who had just gotten the most terrible news possible… And that on a very coarse way…"
Jean only shook her head while she walked towards the door. "He's like his father. He always means what he says," she only said and left like a ghost, while Ororo and Charles looked at each other worriedly.
Upstairs, Jean entered the bedroom and leant against the door tiredly. She still couldn't believe how much a second could change everything. Only a few hours ago, she had still be the happiest woman alive and now it was the complete opposite. She could really feel how the grief ate her up from within. Empty eyes, which were just too tired to express any emotion, looked around without seeing anything for real. Nothing mattered anymore. She didn't care about the inviting and warm colors of the room which appeared to her cold and dead right now. She only felt empty, completely numb with grief and more than unhappy. Like a dead shell, she walked over to the bed in trance and sat down on the edge of it; unaware that her eyes stared into emptiness while tears ran down her face. Looking aside, she caught the sight of his pillow. Taking it slowly in her hands, Jean pulled it close and laid down, closing her eyes tightly. Catching his scent on it, she clung to it even closer and buried her face into it while she pulled her legs close. She just couldn't believe it. She refused to believe that she would never see him again. That she was alone now and would sleep in this bed without him holding her. It just couldn't be true… She blamed herself, too, since she hadn't stopped him after she had a gut feeling that something bad would happen before he left. She should have listened or become suspicious after Lily had start begging him not to leave… Tensing her muscles she soon began to shake and it didn't take long for her to begin to sob heartrendingly again.
Walking over to the door after the doorbell rang for the third time, Ororo opened it just to see Rogue and Remy standing in front of it. "Hey, this took quiet a while," the young woman said and hugged her briefly. Noticing the strange look on her opposite's face, she frowned and gave Remy a questioning look who was about to close the door behind them.
"Sorry," Ororo replied and ran a hand through her face, while the other was on her hip.
"What's wrong? Did you cry?" Rogue asked her worriedly and gave her a confused look. As soon as the blue eyes of her opposite met hers, she knew that something was wrong. She could barely remember that Ororo had cried, except something terrible had happened. "Ororo, what's wrong?" she asked her with a slight trace of fear in her voice.
Sighing, the white haired woman made an inviting gesture towards the TV room. "You should sit down first…" Turning around, she walked down the corridor, as Rogue held her back.
"It's nothing wrong with Isa, is it? Did something happen to her?" the young mother asked her nearly hysterically and stared at her with frightened eyes.
"No, Isa's fine. Juts follow me, okay?" Ororo said emotionless and lead them to the TV room. Waiting for both to sit down, she sat down on the table; resting her arms on her knees while she bent forward and looked for the right words. Rogue kept on looking at Remy from time to time, who could only shrug. Scared, she took his hand in his and waited for the woman in front of her to begin. "Charles had sent Neal, Shiro and Logan on a mission to Mexico," she began and kept on kneading her hands nervously while her eyes were fixed on the ground. Hearing the name of her best friend, Rogue suddenly felt a strange feeling rising within her. Instinctively she moved closer to her boyfriend. "We waited for the call, but we never received it."
"Yeah, Jean said she was waiting for him to call," Rogue said barely audible and swallowed hard. "That's why I hung up…"
"Mystique was monitoring the mission and… Well, I gave my history class and Scott suddenly came in. He said Charles wanted all X-Men to come down…" Having problems to breath all of a sudden, Rogue grabbed Remy's shirt hard while she kept on staring at her opposite with widened eyes. Ororo shook her head and bit her lip hard. She felt the thick lump in her throat which made it nearly impossible for her to breathe regularly. Taking a deep breath, she shook her head again and looked at the ceiling briefly; trying to hold back her tears. "We don't know what happened, but the chips aren't sending any vital signs anymore…"
Rogue began to shake her head violently. "No!" she said and began to breathe hard.
"Charles tried everything to find them, but…even the jet isn't responding…," Ororo added and began to cry again while she buried her face in her hand.
"He's not dead!" the other woman said angrily since she refused to believe it. "Logan's not dead! You have no proof to say that!"
"Marie, the only way that the jet isn't responding is if he was destroyed, you know that!" Ororo gave back with a tear strained face. "I wish it was different!"
Pulling a face, Rogue buried her face on Remy's neck, who pulled her close while she cried aloud. Suddenly, she looked up again, completely under shock. "What about Jean? I should…"
"No," Ororo shook her head. "Believe me, it's the best to leave her alone… Jean is completely in a state of shock… And Jack accidentally heard us talking about it. He got so furious that he told her he hated her."
Resting her head on Remy's shoulder, Rogue stared down on the ground. She just couldn't believe it. "But the Blackbird…it never crashed down all of a sudden…"
"I know," Ororo said and ran a hand through her face. "We don't understand it either. Scott, Hank and Kurt have taken the new jet to go and look for them. Now we're worried that they won't make it, too, but they want to bring them back…"
"But Logan could survive it, non?" Remy asked and looked at her with his red eyes. "He could survive dis…"
"As much as I want to believe it," the woman replied and shook her head while a single tear ran down her face. "But I doubt that Logan would survive a plane crash and maybe an explosion afterwards if there was one. The damage would have been too great for his healing factor to fix it…"
Sniffing, Rogue wiped away her tears. "Where're Bobby and Isa? Is she with him?"
"Yeah, he's watching the kids, while we're waiting for the others to call," her opposite replied. "You haven't seen Jack on the outside, have you?" she asked her worriedly since she hadn't found the boy anywhere in the building.
Rogue shook her head. "No…"
"I'll see. Remy, would you go and look for him?"
"Qui," he nodded and got up. Turning around after he squeezed Rogue's hand briefly, he walked towards the front door again.
Slowly, both women got up and exchanged sad glances. Embracing each other tightly, Rogue began to cry again and clung to her former teacher, who had to cry silently too while she stroked over her back soothingly. "It just can't be…," the young woman cried and shook her head in denial. "Not Logan…"
When Jean opened her eyes again, she immediately looked at Rachel, who was staring down on her with sad eyes. Slowly, she sat up, ignoring that her head hurt like hell and looked down on her daughter nervously. She could almost feel her heart breaking through her chest. She didn't know what to tell her. How could she make it clear to her daughter if she refused to believe it herself?
"Daddy won't come back, will he?" the girl asked calmly and Jean immediately knew that it was Jack's doing. Feeling her heart shattering to pieces once more by the look Rachel gave her, Jean swallowed hard before she shook her head sadly.
"No, sweetheart. He won't…"
Frowning, the girl tilted her head a bit. "Doesn't he love us anymore?"
"No! No, honey…," Jean gasped and bent forward to pull her daughter onto her lap. Holding her tight, she stroked over her hair absently. "He loves us more than anything else!"
"But why won't he come back, then? Is he angry with us?" the girl mumbled on her neck first just to look at her mother in the next second again.
"Look…," Jean began and stroked over her cheeks briefly, while she directly met her daughter's gaze. She only had to come up with something to make her understand the situation. She new her kids were very smart, but still they were only young children… "Do you remember the guinea pig Isabella once had?" Rachel nodded slowly. Jean took a deep breath, before she bit her lip. "Daddy's with it now, sweetheart," she said barely audible and swallowed hard, fighting back the tears which gathered in her eyes again.
Thinking about what her mother had said briefly and how Grandpa Charles had explained to her back then, why Isabella was crying and why they had to bury Amy in the garden, she looked up again. "So, he's an angel now? With wings like Uncle Warren?" she asked her innocently, trying to understand why her father had left them.
Sniffing, Jean smiled slightly, while she had to cry again. "Yeah, he is, honey…" Pulling her close, while she had to grimace in grief, since the pain was just to unbearable, she buried her head on her daughter's neck. "He is…"
Thanks for the reviews guys! I'm glad you like it so far. I know the beginning is a bit lame, compared to Changes, but the action will come. I promise! Hope ya liked it! See ya!