Chapter Five

Names and other Phenomena

Oh, I found out for definite that I was spelling Michaelangelo wrong so I'm spelling it properly from now on. That's why it changes from here on in.

Doll Girl: When I started the whole thing about Mikey's surname I did actually have a plan in mind. Then I forgot it and was kinda stuck so thanks for reminding me to sort it out. I'm glad the boot camp scenario seems to be working out, and thanks for the review!

Kikyophoenix: ?

Becca T: Thank-you! I'm glad someone else likes Malone. I think you'll be seeing him again!

MikeyPhreak: Thank-you- it's great that people in the military are reading this and aren't actually dying of laughter or trying to sue me so cool!

Lunar-Ninja: Thank-you! And see, I've cut down on the swearing!

The Real Cheese Monkey: (That's a great name.) Thanks for the review!

Pacphys: Ah sometimes you need a bit of woman-power! Yeah- Martins certainly got his butt kicked but good!

Entropy Mage: Welcome! Always good to find new suckers- ah, readers… (looks innocent) Thank-you so much for the wonderful review- it really made my day! Good question about Mikey being in uniform. I actually hadn't really thought about it. On reflection, no. Apart from the dogtags and a nametag (don't ask how that's attached, 'cos I haven't a clue!) He'll have a modified dress-uniform but other then that, he goes plain turtle.

Dani: Thank-you! Yeah, that's what I thought about the whole thing with the rules and stuff. No, I never thought of Mikey as being anything but the youngest as he is in this fic. With Donnie second- youngest and Raph next and Leo oldest is how it catches me, although it's hard to tell with the two middle turtles, but anyway… Uh, where was I? Oh yeah- Mikey's growing up pretty fast but yup- I think your right- he's still got some issues yet!

On With The Show!

Chapter 5

Names and other Phenomena

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that putting an AK-47 together behind your back is extremely difficult with a shell. Mikey was easily the slowest of all the recruits. His arms simply didn't stretch that far. He had to more or less juggle the components together behind him and guess at how they would fall and try have whatever bit it was supposed to attach to underneath it. Sometimes it worked. More often it didn't. One of the drillmasters- the main one for weaponry- tended to wait till everyone else had finished and then stand right in front of Mikey and shout at him until the dratted object was together. After the first few times he just scowled for a few days and rasped at them. Mikey realised he had accidentally accomplished the impossible. He had given a Master-Sargent a sore throat! After a few more days, things were back to normal with the man either screaming at him or passing him with a look of utter contempt as Mikey struggled with the recalcitrant machinery. He was getting marginally better at not dropping pieces though- only one or two per go rather then six.

The third Tuesday after they'd arrived in the place Mikey skipped lunch to practise. The drillmaster had simply sighed and waved him in with what sounded like a mutter of needing a miracle.

Mikey sat cross-legged, staring at the pieces of the weapon in front of him and thought longingly of his nunchukus. Now that was a proper weapon. He still wasn't altogether sure he liked the notion of using a gun. It seemed…dishonourable, somehow. It wasn't facing your opponent properly but hoping to pick him off from afar. It wasn't really the way of a ninja. Doubt had begun to creep in as to whether he really belonged here. Why was he here? What was he trying to prove? That mutants could do what humans did? Or that he could survive on his own, without his brothers? It was growing on him that that was possibly why he had made this impulsive move. It was only now, far away from home, staring at a weapon he couldn't assemble and didn't want to use, that he had joined up because he'd felt abandoned by his elder brothers and unsure of what to do. And that he wanted to leave before he was the only one left. He shifted uncomfortably. Yeah, that was real grown-up, wasn't it. He shook his head to shake out the rather self-pitying thoughts and turned back to the task at hand. Namely, his inability to stretch his hands behind his back and still have any of the dexterity needed for the task. He picked up two pieces and tried to fit them together behind his back, stretching out behind the domed shell. He grunted with the effort as his arms protested the strange angle. The two pieces 'clinked' together but the angle was all wrong and they wouldn't slip together. He braced his arm against the wall and pushed. Something clicked all right, but it wasn't the gun pieces. He yelped as his arm went dead but managed not to drop the component. Oh hell, his shoulder was frozen. He tried to gradually move it and winced. Owowow. He sighed and swung it round quickly and the protesting arm 'clicked' again, eliciting another yelp. He scowled at the offending bluey- grey metal, which shined menacingly back at him.

"I think I see what your problem is." said someone behind him, causing him to jump and then berate himself moodily for inattention. He'd been lax. People weren't supposed to be able to sneak up on a ninja.

"I know what the damn problem is." he sighed. "Amphibian arms aren't built for this."

Electrode nodded. "Yeah- bummer there. But if you keep your arms down instead of stretching up and out like that, the angle should be better." Mikey chewed the inside of his cheek in concentration as he tried this. Wasn't like he hadn't tried it before of course but…

"Hang on- right a bit…" Electrode guided him as the two pieces made a very satisfying 'click'. Ow. That was doing his shoulders no good at all. Ah well- whatever worked. That reminded him.

"How's your arm?" Electrode shook it out a bit.

"Still a bit stiff. Whoever that was got in a good thump on the nerve before I could zap him. But not too bad, really."

"Cool- glad ya didn't get too badly hurt, dude. Any word on Malone?" asked Mikey, concentrating on attaching the next piece. Electrode nodded.

"Yeah actually- that's why I came down. He came round today and is coming back- on Friday, I think." He shook his head. "Guy's a lunatic. Ah well. Henry was glad- worried, he was."

"Well, we all were." said Mikey, grinning at the news.

"I guess." replied Electrode, neutrally. Mikey raised an eyebrow.

"What?" The gangly dark-haired man looked away a bit.

"Nothin'. Well, actually- no, there is somethin'; Why's he with us? Him an' Henry both. Thery're doin' themselves no favours really, hangin' around with us. I guess I jus' wondering are they settin' us up for a fall." He coughed a bit ashamedly. "Oh, I dunno. I mean, he did get himself beaten up pretty bad 'cos of being friends with us. But…"

Mikey picked up the last piece and started manoeuvring it into place while he thought.

"Glacier and Siren seem to be fitting in with the woman, don't they. Some of them anyway. "he amended himself. Electrode shrugged unhappily.

"I guess so, yeah. But- ah, I don't know. Maybe I'm just paranoid. But it's weird- a human putting themselves out for a bunch of mutants?"

"Dunno- not all the time… Back before all this broke- several years back now, when me and my bros hadn't been out fighting crime and generally makin' nuisances of ourselves for that long, my brother stopped a muggin' of a reporter. She was injured- Ah!" He interrupted himself to exclaim with satisfaction as the last piece slotted into place. Man- that was not fun on the old arms! He rolled his shoulders and tried to get rid of the cramps as he continued. "Anyway- injured, yeah- and he couldn't get her to a hospital so he brought her back to the Lair to Master Splinter to make sure she was okay. She was…ah, bit leery of us at first. "He smiled at the memory. "…But y'know, she got over it and I think we all count her and another woman- her work partner, Irma- as our closest friends. Along with another guy- human as well, who was also out on our crime-bustin' patch. He's more Raph's particular friend but he'd help any of us out and us him, so…" he shrugged. "Some people are okay with us. Anyway there's what- 6 billion people in the world and how much hate mail do you get a week?"

"Uh…gone down to only the odd one now and then. Mind you, the censor gets most of the weirder stuff. Like the one written in blood."

"You win, my best was tomato ketchup. Well, okay- I'm down to about four. But most of it's from the same one or two small groups. My point is they're forgetting about us. And not all humans were out to get us in the first place."

Electrode nodded. "Y'know, just occasionally, you come out with a bit of sense."

"Why, thank you." he kidded back.

"Hey, don't get cocky- most of the time you're still yourself." Mikey glared back at him and the other man retreated in mock fear, nearly bumping into Siren as she opened the door.

"Oops, walking in on the male-bonding session am I?" she joked, as Electrode tripped and landed on the floor painfully.

"Well, I'm trying to put this yoke together and he's insulting me and falling over, if that counts." He took it apart and started the slow process of rebuilding it behind his back again. It was his third go before he got it together in less than three minutes without dropping any of the pieces. Before the lunchhour was up, he'd cut even more time off. He wouldn't be the fastest there, but just maybe he wouldn't be the slowest anymore either.

Week three and this thing was still bugging him. He went to Master- Sergeant Fields, his immediate superior, for help. He stood outside, uncharacteristically nervous. He shifted from one foot to the other before knocking. Dammit, yes, it was that important.

"Come in!" came the shout. Mikey entered, unsure of what to do. He saluted on the grounds that that was rarely out of order. At least, he had yet to hear of anyone being hauled up for saluting. He stood to attention and waited for his CO to look up. Which he didn't.

"At ease. What?" Mikey stood 'at ease' although he was still standing to attention inside. There was no way he could be anywhere near at ease in here!

"Uh…Sir, it's about my name." he stuttered slightly before glowering at himself and telling himself not to be such as baby. Hadn't he survived three older brothers and most of his life training to be a ninja?

Fields looked up. "Your name?"

"Yessir. When I signed up, I wrote my name as Michaelangelo Hamato, but was told that as my sensei, who brought us up, was neither my real father, nor had he legally adopted us, I couldn't use that as my name. Um…Michaelangelo is my first name Sir- um, Angelo isn't my surname…" he trailed off. If he could blush, he would have had. He felt like an idiot. Or a child with this man glowering at him in disbelief. He had a sudden urge to run for the hills but figured the worst was nearly over.

"Sensei?" the Sergeant asked, catching Michaelangelo off balance. He recovered and nodded.

"Um…yessir. He is a Japanese teacher of martial arts. Ninjitsu."

"And… he is also a turtle?"

"Nossir- uh…he's a rat." The mans eyebrows quirked slightly, trying to see if this was some sort of game. Mikey would need all the help he could get if he decided it was! But Fields, being uncharacteristically nice, decided to drop the subject, before the recruit keeled over in confusion and panic. Not that he was going to take it easy on him! His eyebrows moved back into that forbidding scowl again.

"Why didn't you say anything before? And what do you want me to do about it?" Mikey got a bit tongue twisted as he tried to figure out which to answer first. Nether seemed particularly appealing.

"Um…took me a while to notice the nametag was wrong." he admitted, embarrassed. "And then, with uh…everything goin' on…. I did say it to someone but... uh, nothing came of it." He hoped he hadn't sound too much like he was either complaining or an idiot. Or both.

"Dogtags!" Fields demanded brusquely.

"Uh…I don't have any, Sir. When I raised the matter first, they didn't give me any- told me to wait until the name issue was sorted. And then…" he stuttered into silence. The mans eyes were piercing through him in a flinty scowl. He had a sudden insane idea to hold a match in front of it- see if it would light. Fortunately, he managed to control the suicidal impulses and even met the Master- Sergeants eyes. The CO was good but still only second place to Master Splinter when it came to a truly intimidating Look.

"You've been walking around for three weeks in here without 'tags!" he demanded. At Mikey's affirmative he sighed angrily.

"Out. Leave. It'll be sorted out."

"Uh…thank you Sir."

"But believe me, Hamato- if it wasn't for the fact that you're new and green, it'd be your balls on the line as well as those of the other idiot. As is- you survive this piece of stupidity." Mikey looked confused, but began to back away towards the door. What did being green have to do with it? Ah well, he was just grateful that someone in authority had called him by his proper name. He saluted and fled.

"So what does being green have to do with anything?" he wondered out loud that evening in the Mess, where most of these conversations seemed to take place.

"Green?" Electrode too looked confused, until Henry helped him out.

"Military parlance- means you're young and foolish, not the colour of your skin."

"Aahh- that makes sense now. So- what do you lot have on your tags then?" he asked, interested. The other mutants glanced at each other, each daring another to go first.

"Robertson, G." muttered Glacier with a blush. "They somehow found background stuff on me but not my first name. But they've yet to actually use the name so I guess I can live with it."

"Ferreted out everything on me" admitted Electrode. "Thomas, D. at your service."

"D?" asked Henry, curious. Electrode gave him an inscrutable smile. "I have to keep some secrets you know." he said mysteriously, before spoiling the effect by leaning his chair too far back and overbalancing. This prompted flailing hands and a wild grab by Siren who was closest, before he was upright again, to a certain amount of sniggering from both his own table and others. Siren noticed with a raised eyebrow that there was considerably more normal sniggering then the just nasty stuff. Glacier noted with scorn that they'd always laugh at a mutant. Mikey didn't notice the difference at all, still thinking about his narrow escape from earlier. Electrode recovered and looked pointedly at Siren.

"Rhodes, S. Even I dunno what my real name was. Found at the site of the Colossus at Rhodes as a baby by a- probably short-sighted American couple who thought I was cute. Got me in as an American citizen with that name but got bored with having a freak baby and dumped me off in an orphanage. Got rescued by Professor Xavier's School." She said it simply but with a certain amount of defiance.

"Just Steel." said Steel tactfully before anyone- especially Glacier! could say anything. "They couldn't dig up anything on me." Mikey would find that interesting on later reflection.

"Well, it looks like at least I might now get my tags sometime this year! But if I'd known just how scary that guy can be, I think I could've learned to live without 'em!"

"Yeah- until something messy happens to you and no-one can identify the pieces 'cos you're not wearing 'tags." said Siren, with one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, but it wouldn't matter, cos if I'm the only one without 'tags then it'd be fairly obvious."

"Plus he's green. I think he'd be fairly easy to ID."

"Can we move off this subject please. Mashed recruit doesn't go well with potato, thanks."

"Oh, I don't know. What do ya reckon Fields is eatin' right now?" asked a new voice with a distinctive accent.

"Malone! You're back!"

"Master of the obvious there, Mikey! Malone- you don't look too good." said Electrode.

"Right back at ya, Electrode!" replied both Mikey and Malone in unison and laughed.

"Pull up a chair and have some…uh, unidentifiable mush" said Siren, tugging out a chair, which Malone sank into.

"Mmm, unidentifiable mush- my favourite."

Dear Sensei, Leo, Raph and Don,

Dunno why I'm still doing this really. By this point I know I'm never going to send any of these letters. I'll just write a short note, glossing over the bad stuff and avoiding saying…well, pretty much anything about anything. Still in Japanese as this is turning more into a diary affair then anything else and not something I want anyone else to get their mitts on. Especially whathisface, the prat three beds up. He nicked Joey Nicholsons letters the other day and taped them to the roof the other day. Poor guy- they were to his girlfriend back home. He was as red as a tomato. Couple of us helped him get them down and had a private conversation with the guy. Everyone was more or less on our side, even if they'd found it hilarious, 'cos everyone knew it could be their turn next which wouldn't be as funny.

Malone's out of the civvie hospital. He's tough, I'll give him that. He's also crazy, I think, which might help. Electrode was a bit suspicious of him and Henry- the friendly ones, so I told him about April, Irma and Casey. He's gradually accepting that not all humans are self-helping, cruel, idiotic and selfish. Glacier on the other hand, isn't. What's strange is that I now know Sirens story. She was abandoned as a small baby at Rhodes- she's the one with the wings, so it was fairly obvious she wasn't normal. Found by an American couple, brought here, then abandoned into an orphanage when they got bored with having a mutant baby. And yet, she's not bitter. Or at least not nearly as much so as Glacier, who does at least look normal. Ah well.

Name's finally sorted. I now have dogtags with Hamato, M. on them! Master- Sergeant Fields nearly went ape on me when he realised I'd been hiking around this place for three weeks without any. But he decided to let me live on the condition that I'm not so stupid again. And it was worth it to be finally called Hamato rather then Angelo. Well apart from one of the trainers who's doing it just to be annoying I think.

So what else? Oh yeah, automatic weapons training. I've discovered that I really don't like guns. There's something…I don't know…about them. Also discovered that trying to put one together behind my back is…tricky to say the least! Was the slowest for ages. Wasn't helped by the weaponsmaster screeching at me until it was done- which just slowed me down! Kinda funny actually- accomplished the impossible. Gave a Sergeant a sore throat! Electrode gave me a hand though and I think I've got it. Hey, this afternoon, when we were at it again, I was a fairly respectable fifth finished. Not sure whether Sergeant Barry was disappointed or not! But he didn't shout at me so I figure that's all to the good! We haven't started firing them yet. Bit nervous of the whole thing to tell you the truth. Doesn't seem quite right somehow. Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'm being stupid again.

Anyway, what else has been happening? Oh yeah…

Dear Sensei, Leo, Don and Raph

Week three and everything good! Not much happening at all really. Moved onto weapons training and we're starting hand-to-hand on Tuesday. Weapons training at the moment is just putting AK-47s together behind our backs so far. The shell was a bit tricky but I've got the hang of it now.

So what's going on at home…?

………..

And Malone's back in the game! For the moment anyway. Please review- and Chapter six will be up soon!