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Day 7
Life was good. Adama couldn't remember ever being in a better mood. He woke up to the vanilla mint smell of Roslin's hair. She had left hours ago but her sent still lingered in his quarters. He thought it was only in his quarters but he seemed to smell her everywhere he went. In the CIC, on the hanger deck, during his meeting with the fighter pilots and all the other places he visited had that same indescribably pleasing aroma.
Why hadn't he ever noticed it on Colonial One? If he went there now he was sure he would smell it. In fact, throughout the day he found himself trying to come up with excuses to see her.
Madame President, I needed your input on the FTL drive, he thought, as he walked down the hall to his quarters. No, no, no, she wouldn't know about something that technical. Madame President, I'm concerned about the fleet. They seem to be excited about reaching Earth and their celebrating is getting out of hand? No way that would fly, she was more than capable of dealing with such a minor issue on her own. That might insult her intelligence. Madame President, I had to see you today because…well…there is no reason really, except, of course, that I love you. Now that she would buy.
His shoulders sagged in defeat. He was pathetic. How a woman could reduce the Admiral of a Battlestar to a hopeless basket case was beyond his comprehension.
When he opened the door of his office he saw Lee and Doctor Cottle sitting on the sofa. He eyed them curiously but nothing could destroy his good mood today.
"Hi, son, you're looking good today," he began cheerfully, "Doc, how's business?"
Apollo smiled wearily, most likely in awe of Adama's blatant happiness. Cottle looked morbid, but that was really the only expression the old doctor ever had. He was relieved Kara wasn't there to read his mood or she probably would have said something like, who laid you last night? Adama grinned. No chance she would ever get an answer to that question.
"You might want to pour yourselves a drink," Dr. Cottle told him looking somber.
Adama didn't look at his son. He kept his eyes on Cottle. The Doctor had bad news. Adama could see it now. Very. Bad. News.
"Whatever it is, stay it." Adama's tone was gruff and short tempered.
He hated he could only have one day of complete bliss before something else came along to ruin it. Cottle let his eyes fall to the papers in his hands. He looked back up and Adama thought for a brief second he saw the hint of tears.
"The cancer."
The two words Adama dreaded more than any others. An unquenchable silence descended into the private sanitary of William Adama's office like a nuclear winter. No one spoke. No one moved. He couldn't smell vanilla and mint anymore.
"How long?" Adama's gruff voice was low now, hardly more than a desperate whisper.
Cottle lifted his eyes but Adama kept his gaze averted.
"Days, a week…at most."
Cottle dropped his eyes again.
Adama started to shake his head, then rose from the couch and walked over to the drink stand. The loud ringing in his ears was nearly unbearable. He poured a shaky glass hoping to drown out the sound with the Ambrosia. Before the glass hit his lips an overwhelming anger pounded through his veins. Frak the living world. He dropped the glass, bent over, picked up a chair and hurled it into the bookcase across the room. The chair crashed to the floor and a few books fluttered from the shelf and landed at odd angles.
"Dad…"
Adama heard Lee's choked up voice barely audible in the silence that returned after the outburst. Adama head nothing then but ringing. Felt nothing but anger.
"I thought…" Lee tried to say again.
He stopped, cleared his throat, and had his father been facing him would have seen the boy wipe a tear away from his face.
"I thought the cylon DNA…"
"Whatever she was exposed to on the planet counteracted it. I tried to apply the cylon DNA to the infected cells but it had no effect this time," Cottle explained, his voice finding strength in the scientific explanation.
"Isn't there anything we can do?" Apollo asked not hiding the raw emotion in his voice.
Despair was bleeding from every corner of the room and seeping deep into Adama's heart. He could feel sharp burning in his chest. He felt like his own heart was bleeding from the pain. Cottle shook his head slowly from side to side.
"It's like a virus. It will just keep killing the cylon DNA if we try to inject her again. She was living on borrowed time as it was," Cottle replied.
Lee stood and walked over to the bar next to his father. Without a word the son put his arms around his father's shoulders.
Adama refused to let himself cry openly over this. He refused to let his son or Cottle or anyone else see just how terribly deeply this news had destroyed his spirit. His hope. His reason to survive. Laura.
"I thought you should tell her," Cottle announced.
Not until a few seconds after the Doctor had spoken did Adama register the words. Tell her. How could he keep himself together enough to be in the same room with her, let alone break such news to her?
Adama had to see her now. He had to prove to his own mind that for now, right now, she was alive. He had to smell that smell again. He pulled away from his son and walked out of his quarters. Now he had an excuse to see her.
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When Kara Thrace finally managed to work up the courage to talk to Lee Adama she nearly retreated when she found him in a deserted officer's bunk sitting on a bed with his head in his hands. He was probably still grieving over his late wife and Kara didn't want to interfere with that. How would that make both of them look? If she just hopped into his arms only a week after Dualla died that would make them both sluts.
Despite her hesitation another part of Kara was telling her, ordering her to stop wasting time. With the prospect of Earth and a new life on the horizon Kara wanted just that, a new life. She hoped Lee Adama would want to be part of her new life. Mistakes had been made, terrible mistakes she was afraid Lee could never forgive her for.
Her clothes rustled as she stepped into the room causing Lee to look up at her with a stricken face. He was grieving and she had no right to bother him.
"Sorry," Kara said and turned to leave.
"No," Apollo called after her.
When she turned around his head was back in his hands. His eyes where fixed on the floor between his knees. Kara slowly approached and sat herself down next to him.
"Is it Dee?" she asked, cursing herself for bringing up the subject she wanted to avoid.
Lee laughed bitterly and lowered his hands. Kara could see the water in his eyes. Lee Adama was not the crying type. Maybe he loved Dee after all.
"Dualla was a…a gentle person," Lee began and Kara turned away.
She didn't know how she could deal with the rejection she knew was coming.
"I will miss her..." Lee trailed off.
There was silence for a moment and Kara readied herself to leave.
"…but you know I've always loved you. I meant what I shouted to the world on New Caprica. This isn't about Dee."
Kara felt the same excitement and happiness she had only tasted that night. He still loved her. She knew it! Well, actually she had doubted it, but now he said it again and this time she would make things right. A smile broke out on her face.
"I love Lee Adama!" she yelled, and her voice echoed in the empty room.
Lee actually let a smile creep through the sorrow on his face. Misery took over again and Kara knew something really, really bad had happened. Her stomach knotted just by the expression Lee wore. This is how she had felt just before the reality of the attack on the Colonies and been confirmed.
"What is it?" she asked, dreading what his answer would be.
He turned away from her, his jaw struggling to say the words. When he faced her again she saw the water in his eyes caught the reflection of the above lights.
"Dr. Cottle just told me and my dad," he said and swallowed hard, "that Laura only has a week. The cancer…"
"Laura?" Kara repeated.
She had never heard Apollo use the president's first name. Somehow right here and right now it seemed right. The reality hit her hard, just like news of the nuking of Caprica. She ran a hand through her hair.
"No…no, no, no," she said shaking her head in disbelief.
"My dad just went to tell her," Lee barely managed to choke out.
Kara looked at him, sure her face matched the expression he wore. She felt her own tears starting but she fought them back. Lee looked so lost and helpless. She would be strong for him.
As the tears made a path down his cheek, she heard the sobs start. She let his head rest below her chin and put her arms around his shoulders. They cried together. Kara didn't know how long they stayed there, leaning on each other for comfort, mourning the impending death of the woman who was like a mother; she only knew Lee was in her arms and together they could survive anything.
"Lee," Kara said softly, "I want her to see us together before she dies."
She heard him sniff and his grip tightened around her waist. His head pressed closer to her and she felt him nod against her collarbone. Yes, they could survive anything together. Kara knew it now.
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Adama should have known. The past few weeks she was weak and pale and tired but he just attributed it to the recent journey planet side. There was one part of the prophesy he could not deny now…the leader was dying.
A week at most. The words pounded through Adama's mind as he rode the shuttle to Colonial One. Earth was a little more than a week away. She had to live to see it. Life demanded nothing less. Earth had been her dream, her vision and he would do everything in his power to make sure she saw it fulfilled.
Adama shifted his gaze to the hovering ships outside the small Raptor window. Seven days was still far away. Right now they had time. The future was still far off.
When Adama walked into the outer room of Roslin's office Tory greeted him with a giddy smile. He could tell already she knew more than she should.
"Admiral, what brings you here?" Tory asked innocently.
Her implied what she meant which was something like, she's been wondering when you'd finally show up.
"I…" he began but found the words unable to push past the lump in his throat.
He swallowed his emotions down and pulled on the bottom of his uniform straightening the material into place. He had to be strong for Roslin. There was no time to be emotional.
"I have an urgent matter to discuss with the President," he explained.
Tory rose from her chair and Adama was sure she was about to say, it is an urgent matter but it doesn't involve discussion. Adama pretended not to see the implication written on Tory's face. Time could change everything in an instant. Only a few hours ago Adama might have playfully insinuated certain things to Tory with a humorous hint of teasing. Now he could barely manage a smile.
Tory led Adama through the draped doorway and into the inner sanctuary of Roslin's office. He was surprised by his reaction to seeing her again. The reason for his trip left his mind as her visage once again filled his senses. Yes, he thought, Colonial One does smell like mint and vanilla.
"Admiral," Roslin said a little breathless.
The eagerness in her voice was embarrassing for both of them.
"Should I see to it you're not interrupted?" Tory inquired professionally, but with a painfully obvious smirk.
Adama and Roslin spoke in unison. He said yes and she said no. They exchanged a glance and spoke again. This time she said yes and he said no. Tory started to back out of the room.
"No interruptions then…" she said with a lifted eyebrow and closed the drapes behind her.
"Lords of Kobol," Roslin muttered under her breath.
She lifted her eyes up to meet Adama's. Her eyes were still so bright, so full of life.
"This is going to get completely out of control, I can tell already," she remarked with her hands dropping to her desk in defeat.
She seemed to draw some excitement from the situation as he had earlier. He decided to watch her happiness for a while before he tore down the wall of ignorance.
"Tory suspects?" Adama asked, forcing himself to be happy no matter how fleeting the moment.
"Tory is observant," Roslin began, "I got back to Colonial One late enough to raise her suspicions."
"Late?" Adama said surprised, "You left too early."
Too early and too late seemed to be the way of his relationship with her. His words drew a smile and a blush from Roslin. She turned her head away and he sat in the chair in front of her desk.
"So…" Roslin began hesitantly.
"So…" Adama repeated contented to live in the moment.
She was subtly twitching in the chair and he could tell the whole situation made her uneasy. He didn't mind. One of his favorite entertainments was watching Roslin work out problems that make her uncomfortable.
"I mean, after all," she started in abruptly standing, "the cylons are no longer chasing us and we have found Earth."
Adama watch with amusement as she paced back and forth with her hands on her hips.
"That's true," Adama said quietly.
"And further more," Roslin continued, pacing again, "Our time as the leaders of the fleet may be drawing to a close with Earth on the horizon. Soon we won't be breaking any rules."
She stopped and with her hands still on her hips turned to face him. He nodded.
"You agree with me now, of all times," she said sarcastically.
Adama shrugged his shoulders. She was putting on a very entertaining show and he didn't want to ruin it.
"And," she said taking another deep breath and pacing again.
This time she walked to her desk and picked up a newspaper that featured their entwined lips on the front page.
"The fleet seems to be happy for us. Not one vicious rumor floating around, although Tom Zarek had a few choice words for me this morning."
Roslin put a hand to her forehead and sat down on the couch. He could see the performance had swallowed up all of her energy. She tired to hide her exhaustion with a weak smile. The reality of the situation began to overtake Adama. Why do bad things have to happen to people you love? Why couldn't he have a little more time with her? He thought he had plenty of time.
"What are you thinking, Bill?" Roslin asked.
Bill lifted his head slowly. He stood up and walked over to the couch, standing in front of Laura. Her eyes settled on him, questioning his body language.
"Dr. Cottle came to see me today," he started but before he could say anything more he heard Laura sigh and turn her head away.
Her hand reached out for the arm of the sofa. He knew that she knew that he knew. Simple. Now, their relationship was simple. Once the choice had been made Adama was surprised how simple love could be.
"How long?" she whispered.
Adama moved around the coffee table and sat next to Roslin. He put a hand around her shoulders and pulled her head to rest on his chest. She resisted at first but he quickly felt her relax under his touch. Vanilla and mint filled his nose as her hair tickled his chin.
"Long enough," he whispered back.
Her grip tightened around him.
"I want to say goodbye to the fleet," Laura said her voice barely audible.
Bill stroked her arm but didn't speak. He didn't have to. Laura knew he agreed.
He was glad Tory would see to it they would have no interruptions. This was their moment. Adama was not going to let anything get in the way of the few moments they had left. Time was a strange thing. Adama refused to waste anymore of the precious fleeting commodity.