Chapter 10: Ferver

Fuhrer King Bradley debated over whether or not to confront Archer with the photos. He watched Archer graciously accept a steaming cup of tea. 'So well mannered. I guess it's good that he enjoys something outside of the military. He eats and breathes and sleeps strategically. Sad really; no family, no real friends, always on the base working that young Captain Wellbrick to the bone. No girlfriend either. Wait…no girlfriend?' He looked again at the picture then Archer , then the picture. 'As disturbing as it is, I can't look away!'

It had been a quiet moment and Frank decided to take the time to try and promote his work. "Fuhrer, as you already know Captain Wellbrick and I have made great progress on our research concerning the fifth laboratory."

Fuhrer Bradley could not hear Frank's words, he was so distracted by the pictures Roy supplied. The Fuhrer was keeping them out of Frank's line of vision. As Frank engaged in self promotion Bradley thought ' Perhaps he's gay? Archer a faggot? No…' The Fuhrer's limited tolerance for alternative lifestyles was counting against Archer. His mind ran back through all his shared company with Archer. '…always so pretty for a man…never too interested in women…'

Archer thought 'This is a bit queer. Why hasn't he said anything? Does he want me to keep commence the conversation? I guess so. It gives me a chance to showcase my initiative.'

Bradley interrupted Archer's blather of self promotion and point blank asked him "Archer, do you prefer the company of men over women?"

Archer was thrown by the question and unsure of it's context. "In what sense Fuhrer?"

Bradley shifted uneasily on his sofa then put the folders down next to him on the cushion. He gestured with his hands in an open manner and said "I mean do you prefer men to women?"

Archer noted how Fuhrer Bradley put a emphasis on the word 'prefer' and was a little unclear. Then Sila came to mind and his first dealings with her in his office. 'That was cute how she hit on me—'

Fuhrer Bradley thought he was onto something when he saw Archer get a distant look.

Frank was thinking 'Is Fuhrer Bradley hitting ho me too? I was called a pretty boy during academy, but I thought I out grew it. How do I refuse?!' A sickening thought occurred to Archer. 'How far am I really willing to go in order to get ahead? I am sure being the Fuehrer's lover has it's perks.'

Archer continued to think on it and decided commanding the largest army in the world was not worth paying for by tasting another man's sperm. 'That's totally emasculating, and defeats the entire purpose of ruling the army.'

Archer's face involuntarily slid into a sour look and Bradley was confused. 'Is he or isn't he?'

"If you are asking about my sexual preference, Fuhrer…' Frank hesitated and nervously said "…I..." if he's hitting on me I'll be screwed if I say I prefer women. If I say I prefer men then I'll be thrown out of the military. Homosexual relationships are against regulations and punished by expulsion from the military!'

Luckily for Archer, the Fuhrer's secretary interrupted their conversation. She opened the door and bowed apologetically explaining there was something of the utmost importance which required his personal attention. The Fuhrer frowned and looked at Frank then said "We will continue this discussion later" Frank was quick to jump on his chance to place the conversation in his favor.

"Hahah! I don't see why,. I assume a man of your acumen would be able to see the truth." Frank smiled politely and walked out he door.

The sun had set and Archer walked towards his car. His driver saw him coming and started the car.

As Archer sat in the back seat and watched the trees wiz by he told the driver to pull over. The driver pulled over and Archer got out of the car.

He wrote a message on a pad and gave it to the driver. Then Archer walked back a few feet and down into the woods. Not too far off the road was a wide lake. The moon reflected on the surface and Archer waited. The driver went to the apartment of Captain Sila Wellbrick and handed her the note. It simply said "Go with the driver" and he signed his name.

Sila was dressed and ready in a few minutes. She didn't have a clue over what he would be calling her out over, but kept their passionate night in her mind. The driver went along the dark wooded road and Sila was afraid she had fallen into a trap. When he stopped the car in a seemingly random place and opened her door her heart thudded in her chest. "Miss, he's over there"

She saw Archer standing in the trees. His fair skin reflected the moonlight. When he knew she saw him he walked back down onto the waters sedge away from the road. Sila reminded herself that she was in fact NOT hallucinating. She thanked the driver and ran into the trees. She began to wonder what this was all about. She saw him by the water and crunched some leaves under her booted foot as she went. She stood next to him trying to trace where his eyes were falling. He slid his hand around her waist and pulled her in front of him. He caressed her face and kissed her. Again he said nothing: mute in the face of his passion for her. Things progressed quickly after that.

King Bradley and a cunning homunculi named Sloth discussed the Archer situation, as they called it. Bradley called in the busty and voluptuous homunculus, Lust, to stealthily spy on Archer. Lust quickly picked up Archers trail and was bounding through treetops in her high healed boots and black dress. When she found him, she could see Archer was not alone and she got an eyeful from her spot up in the tree.

Frank and Sila were in a full passionate embrace. Sila wearing nothing but the overcoat and Archer's pants were around his ankles. Sila's back was up against a tree for support and Frank preferences were very clear. Lust smirked to herself and made her way quickly back to the Fuhrer's mansion.

When Lust reported her findings Bradley and Sloth looked at each other with confusion. Lust crossed her arms and leaned back on a pillar near the door. "So what do we care who Frank Archer fucks? This has nothing to do with—" Sloth threw down the file with the secret picture and they slid out into view. "Oh my God." Lust stopped speaking and with her mouth agape picked up one of the photos.

"I need this explained" said Bradley gesturing angrily with his hand. "He can't be...What if…Can I rely on him" he pointed to the picture Lust was now holding "to lead the men into battle?"

Lust began to chuckle and said "What about that big muscley fellow?"

The Fuhrer's secretary said "Armstrong only appears to be a witness to the …to…to whatever Archer is doing."

Lust turned the picture on it's side and cocked an eyebrow. "Looks like he's participating to me."

Sloth couldn't help but giggle and the Fuhrer snatched the picture away. "Regardless, we have other things to focus on right now" he said. He tossed it on his desk and the three walked away. The Fuhrer mumbled "Dammit this is going to bug me…"

After Archer and Sila finished their fling in the woods, they walked back to the car. When they were both seated back in the car the driver asked "Where to Lt. Col, sir?"

"I believe there was some paperwork you wanted me to complete" said Archer coolly allowing his ice blue eyes to fall on Sila.

"Huh? Oh! That's right! Yep."

The driver said "Back to the captain's apartment, sir?"

"No, back to mine. I think I have copies of it, but I'll need to review it with you" he said looking down at her.

'His place?! I've never been to his place before! Wow! What does this mean?!'

Later the same evening, the Fuhrer sat back down at his desk and stared at Colonel Mustang's investigative report. He didn't quite know what to make of all of it. He opened the file and took another look. The pink lace from the photo assaulted his eyes, but not more than the red ballet slippers. 'Red and pink? What was he thinking wearing the two colors together? Can't he see that they clash?'

The photo depicted Lieutenant Colonel Frank Archer leaping through the air in a pink leotard, complete with girly toole tutu and bright red ballet slippers. His arms were extended and his head was thrown backwards. He was obviously immersed in the passion of this dance. His fingers were in a perfect pose and joy played across his lips.

The Fuhrer didn't know what to make of it indeed. Then he went to the next photo. This one included an accomplice. Major Armstrong appeared to be spotting Archer. 'At least he had the decency to wear a blue unitard.'

Armstrong's emotions were hidden behind the blonde mustache and the Fuehrer could not read his feelings. Armstrong stood behind Archer with his hands on the Lt. Colonel's waist. They both were looking off in the distance perhaps off to where Armstrong would throw the smaller Lt. Col.

The Fuhrer felt a bit queasy as his biases against and ignorance of an alternative lifestyle boiled in his stomach. Once the thought 'At least he is in shape and looks decent' crossed his mind he shut the file with a slam. "Uurgh!" Fuhrer Bradley grimaced and tried to think of ugly thoughts. 'What about that tub of lard Breda in a leotard?'

Fuhrer Bradley pictured Breda awkwardly plieting allowing his excess weight to bounce around jubbly wubbly. It was a comical sight and the Fuhrer chuckled.

Then suddenly his own mind turned against him and a leaping Archer ballerina leapt into view knocking Breda out of the Fuhrer's mind. The Archer-ballerina that invaded the Fuhrer's mind was overtly effeminate and twirled and leapt around like a pixie. The Fuhrer growled as his own mind continued to show him illicit images of Frank Archer.

A pixie ballerina Archer with a pink tutu and red slippers winked at the Fuhrer every time he closed his eye.

The Fuhrer put the file and photos in his desk drawer, but still the Archer fairy image remained burned on his brain. So much so that the Fuhrer woke up in the middle of the night after having a dream of skipping through a battlefield with a Frank Archer fairy with red ballerina shoes. He sat up after he woke and had a frightening thought. He whispered into the night "I think I love you, Archer fairy!"