Tobi is like, the SHIZNIT. And I want Obito Kakashi plushies.

Disclaimer: Happily defying copyright lines since 2002.

Yet another Python/Grail-flavoured rant. It's pretty accurate (seeing as I was constantly referring to the script...), so no whining! (whack) Still working on the Obito POV bit for "that big stone", but this leapt into my lap and refused to get off. I did my best to resist, but I suspect coconut guards Genma and Raidou, as well as a Taunting French Sasuke are waiting patiently for the most opportune moment to strike. So beware!

Everyone who reviews will recieve...a shrubbery. Flamers on the other hand, will be sent an evil rabbit.

Word count: 586.

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Naruto Who Says 'Ni'!

Bold music sang in King Orochimaru's head as he pranced nobly across his vast kingdom on his Quest for the Holy Grail. Kabuto kept pace, steadily clopping behind. He was pleased to see that the sparse woodland grew to dense, shady forest as they traveled onward. His beautifully fair and delicate skin burned easily, and Kings could not allow themselves to get and unsightly sunburn. It simply wasn't done.

"Nii!!!" A high, chilling demonic voice shrieked as they entered a dark clearing.

"Arrgh!" The brave journeyers cringed in pain.

"Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!" The cry came again, seeming to echo from everywhere.

"Who are you?!" Kabuto shouted, and the clearing went quiet.

Nine demons stepped out of the gloom, surrounding our heroes, menacing and leering. The demons were identical, clad in orange garments the colour of hell's fire.

"We are the Naruto Who Says 'NI'!" The leader proclaimed, his dominant status apparent in the rapid head-bobbing and "Hell yeah!"s from the others.

"No!" Orochimaru gasped, "Not the Naruto Who Says 'Ni'!"

"The same." The leader Naruto nodded. "We are the keepers of the sacred words 'Ni', 'Nihihi', and 'Guuuuoghh!'."

"Nihihihi!" One of the bunshin Naruto cackled helpfully.

"Beware!" King Orochimaru hissed to his apprentice, "Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!"

"The Naruto Who Says 'Ni' demands a sacrifice." The evil demon announced loudly.

"O Naruto Who Says 'Ni', we are but simple travelers who seek the Sage who lives beyond these woods." Kabuto pleaded cunningly, only to be foiled by the Naruto's loathsome shrieks of "Ni!" The raucous call persisted until the courageous duo were suitably cowed.

"We shall say 'Ni' again to you weirdoes if you do not appease us!"

"What is it that you want?" Orochimaru trembled.

"We want--!" The Boss Naruto's boisterous voice trailed off thoughtfully, and the bunshin began a sort-of-quiet and most exhuberant debate amongst themselves, swiftly coming to an accord. "50 bowls of Miso Ramen!"

"What?!" Kabuto queried incredulously, and was faced with nine glowered Narutos.

"NI! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!" The orange demons screeched, and Kabuto's glasses shattered. "You must bring us our ramen, or else, you will never pass through this wood… alive."

"Please! O Naruto Who Says 'Ni', you are just and fair, and we will return with your ramen" Bold King Orochimaru promised, and the creatures scowled and crossed their arms as one.

"And none of the instant cup!" The Naruto Leader demanded.

"Yes, of course!" Orochimaru agreed.

"Now go!" Naruto grinned toothily at him, and the heroic king and his brilliant apprentice fled from the terrifying fanged smile.

When the demon felt the intruders were suitably distant, his eight followers vanished in a puff of smoke, no doubt off to carry out their leader's ill will throughout the land.

Naruto cackled, and rubbed his hands with glee.

"Man oh man, there's going to be enough even for Chouji." Indeed, he was holding a large party with his friends for his achieving Hokage status in the dark and hidden village of the forest-dwelling wodewose, and had, for a time been worried on how he might supply decent food.

And so, detoured on their honourable quest, Kabuto and Orochimaru travelled the length of Celtic England searching for the elusive Miso Ramen.

Never knowing that if they had departed slightly south from the Naruto Who Says 'Ni', they would have soon stumbled upon the Village Hidden in the Shrubberies, where there was a most reputable stand for the rare meal.

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I had SO much trouble figuring out who should be King Arthur. I totally wanted it to be Kakashi or Jiraiya... but there was the Patsy problem, servant thing and all. I also figured I may as well keep the cast the same for all the Grail-flavoured bits. And I must admit, I was heavily influenced by Canalicula's pic of Orochimaru prancing around, and Kabuto behind him with coconuts. Here's the link, if you want to see it: http: (slash slash) www (dot) deviantart (dot) com (slash) deviation (slash) 9760122 (slash). just remove the spaces and change the symbols.

Tralala.