Queen of the Elven City- Yes, the old man was indeed an amusing person. Good thing he's gone, though. Being so mean to Dillon like that, bad old man. I would have threatened to take away his meds, yes I would have.

Story-

He thought about telling her. But what was the line that he could cross between student and teacher? Monica wasn't his teacher in the technical sense of the word, she wasn't an educator, but she still taught him a lot about what he wanted to do with his life. Like any good teacher, Monica Quartermaine tried to inspire him to reach for his dreams, attain his goals. She was always there with positive words to help him through the times when he may have doubted himself completely, but she couldn't do that anymore, could she? Because what he was doing was doubting himself not based on his performance as a doctor, but just on himself.

Still, there was that flickering hope in his mind, where he thought that things could go all right if he did tell Monica what was going on. He trusted her. Unlike his father, trust for Damian did come relatively easily, although he had seen the way that trusting people could lead to some extreme pain, which made him think that maybe, just maybe, Sonny's decision to keep people at arm's length wasn't as stupid as he thought. Even before he had been admitted to PCU and the medical program he had done some research. Monica and Alan were like legends, working at the same place for such a long time, inspiring so many generations. He didn't even fathom that he would have a connection to the family, but he did.

Yes, he trusted Monica completely, and would not hesitate to come to her with a problem that was not the nature of the one that he was dealing with, but the fact was that he wasn't sure about telling her anything. He had only told Ric, and Maxie knew, as well as Georgie, but that was it. It was his pain and he didn't want people spreading it around, he didn't want to be responsible for people's own misery. After a long moment of contemplation, Damian could only lower his eyes, "It's… complicated, Monica."

"Then make it less complex," Monica tried to be supportive, and it wasn't just because of the fact that the young man in front of her was the only link to her sole grandchild. She liked him because of who he was, not because of who he was to her. "Damian, believe me, I understand what it's like to be a new doctor. There are times when you don't feel like you can give people the help that they deserve, so you send them to someone who can, someone who has done everything that you're trying to do and more. I must have done it a dozen times during my first month, and I would always hate myself for doubting my own abilities when I found out that it was something simple."

"It's still more complicated than that…"

"Is it because of your mother?" Monica asked. She knew how that was, too. She had fought breast cancer in her life, and even now when she saw someone who had the same symptoms as she did there would be a moment where she would have to confront her own demons. Some thought that it would have made her a better doctor for people dealing with that particular issue, and maybe in some way they were telling the truth, but Monica didn't feel like being the patsy for every woman with breast cancer. And she knew that she was one of the lucky ones, one of the people who managed to survive what had killed so many other people. Like Emily's birthmother, and Damian's mother. "Because Miss Torres didn't have anything that could have looked like breast cancer… but, you know, if you're afraid of confronting something like that we would completely understand. Everyone has some things that they just don't feel comfortable doing, even when they've been doctors for years."

"It's personal," he couldn't listen to her completely miss the topic that was causing him so much pain time and time again. It was a waste of both their time, and while he may have had time to wait there was probably no chance that she did. Monica Quartermaine was always in demand. "That's why I couldn't see her, because I was too busy being wrapped around my own problems. Not because of anything else… because of my own issues. There, I said it… how does that make you feel?"

"Do you want to talk about them?"

"I can't."

"Is it because…"

"No, Monica," he shook his head, effectively attempting to dispel the idea from her mind, but it was unlikely to work. The Quartermaines, at least most of them, wished to believe that his father was something that was brought up during the horror stories that they would tell, and Damian knew that they had their reasons, but to vilify Sonny at every turn and make him appear to be something akin to the anti-Christ was just wrong. "It has nothing to do with my father, it's my problem… completely mine. Nothing's wrong with Michael, either. I would tell you if there was, honestly."

"Thank you for that." But she was still wondering if he was holding back some of the actual pain that he was going through. Sonny had that way about him, where he was able to command the masses to do his bidding. It was something that Monica would always hate about him. He was such a manipulator. "So, this personal problem that you're going through… it's effectively crippling you as an intern?"

"When you put it like that… it just sounds so mean."

"I don't mean to be harsh, but I have to think about the quality of care that the people who come here looking for it are getting, and I thought I could assign people to you in good faith that you would be able to give them what they wanted…"

"You can," he said, suddenly feeling like he was under attack, that he was being devalued as a member of the team, and he didn't like that. But then he thought about it, "At least… you could…" he wasn't going to lie to her or to himself, his skills had diminished ever since the breakup. "I guess it's over then, isn't it? I can't turn this thing off like some kind of button, believe me, if I could, I would find a way to do it as quickly as possible."

"It isn't over," Monica shook her head. "People are entitled to having an off day or two every now and then. Damian, go home. Take your stuff and go home, nobody is going to hold it against you. Yes, it's early in your internship, but there are things that just can't be helped."

"Nobody's going to hold it against me?" He gave a slight scoff, "Have you seen the people in the locker room, Monica? They'll take any chance they can get to rip me apart, they want to destroy my chances at having any sort of future here or anywhere else."

"I'll take care of that." There was always the person who seemed to be pushed away from the rest of the students, the odd ball out. People thought that once children grew up to become adults they stopped acting like children, but Monica knew better. Depending on what was going on they would always find a way to make themselves out to be some sort of special person, to push away others and shine. That was just the way it worked. "I can only do this so often, Damian. If you're not ready to actually start working when you come back for your next shift then you really might want to think about putting off your internship here until you sort everything out. I don't want that to sound like a threat or an ultimatum, but I don't think I can make it sound like anything else. I want you to stay, I truly do… but…"

"But you need to think about what the hospital and the people in here deserve instead of what you want… I get it, Monica, but I thank you for having faith in me. Sometimes it's nice to know that people do still have some in me when I don't think I have any in myself." He could have fought the idea of taking some time off, but he knew that he needed it.

"You know, when you want someone to talk to I hope you can find that person, but, if you ever feel like you can't talk to anyone, just think that you can always come talk to me, all right?"

"And all of this isn't because of the fact that Michael's a part of my life… maybe people are wrong about saying that everyone always wants something in return for their services. Thank you again, Monica. You've actually helped more than you could ever know."

Morgan Household-

Although it had been hours since Jason had been 'instructed' to take Courtney out for a nice evening just in case it was the last chance that they ever had at having one, he hadn't returned home. Instead, he was looking for a way to give Sonny what he wanted, he was looking for something that would help bring Durant down. Sadly, for all of Jason's vaunted skills there were limits to what he could accomplish, and he could not find a way to bring down John Durant. He was so squeaky clean that it made it seem like anyone who had gotten arrested for something so simple as jaywalking was a sinner in comparison. But Jason wasn't a fool, he knew that nobody could be that perfect. People used to think that he was that perfect, when he was Jason Quartermaine, always looking to be the model citizen. Everything about him had changed since that accident, all for the better.

It may have seemed rather egocentric of Jason to put his best friend and partner's request over the idea of spending time with his wife, but Jason didn't see it like that, and he knew that Courtney, should she have found out what was going on, wouldn't see it like that either. If Durant took Sonny down then Jason was going down with him, by trying to stop Durant Jason was ensuring the future of his best friend and of himself, as well as their family. That was why Jason could freely concentrate on something else instead of Courtney, because, in some roundabout way, he was doing it for her, too.

But, there was only so much searching that Jason could do. There was only so much that he knew how to do. Technology angered Jason Morgan, the way that it was always changing, and that one little press of a button could end up destroying everything that had been worked for. Such things did not sit well with someone who enjoyed having everything make sense. Stan was going to work around the clock on looking for something, but even he was having trouble with it. Sonny may have been to upset by Stan's supposed failure to understand it, but Jason was not. If Stan couldn't find something that was hidden it either wasn't there, which they weren't willing to accept, or the person who hid it was damned good.

The penthouse was bare and dead, as it almost always was. Even though he had taken it out at his instance, Jason had to admit that he missed the life that was brought to the penthouse by the Christmas tree. He'd never admit it, but internally he did feel that there was something missing when he walked in the house and did not instantly smell the strong hint of pine.

Jason noticed how much it had changed since Courtney had come into his life, and later, Dillon. Before, it was drab. But now, even when there was little that was there, there was still more than there would have been without her. Pictures of the two of them together, of their family, the things that Jason knew were important, even if he didn't always show it.

"Courtney?" Jason called out to his wife, hoping that she was home. There was never a way of telling with her, because there was always something that could have happened, like an impromptu shopping spree with Carly. One thing that had happened with Courtney ever since Carly came into her life was that she had found her materialistic traits to increase. Jason didn't mind. He had more money than he could have ever hoped to spend, and seeing his wife in gowns and nice clothing just seemed like a nice way of spending it.

"I'm upstairs, Jason!" Courtney yelled from above. "Give me a second and I'll come down."

Jason put his gun away. He could leave it out, but Courtney didn't like having it out in the open. Neither did he. There was no telling who could walk through the door. It could be Michael or Morgan. Michael knew what a gun was, but Jason never wanted the boy to use one, ever.

Courtney came down, her hair in a ponytail, the activity that had delayed her for those few precious moments. She was dressed in her kickboxing outfit, ready to attack the punching bag with a flurry of attacks that would make her feel like she was getting out some of that pent up rage. Despite her happy appearance, Courtney did have things to be angry about. She just hid it well, sometimes even better than Jason. "I didn't expect you to be home anytime soon. You're usually working all the time."

"Is it bad?"

"No, of course not. I'm going to take this as a present, and it isn't even a holiday." Courtney smiled and walked into his waiting arms. "Any time I can spend with you, Jason, is time that I'm happy to be alive. I just wish I got more of it."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about…"

"Really?"

"Yeah. You know, how long has it been since the two of us went out? Just you and me, eating something, talking, being together as husband and wife? I know we go out with the boys, or with Carly and Sonny, but I want just the two of us… alone."

"Jason… this is so unexpected."

"If you can't do it just say so, I'll understand."

"Of course I can do it! I want to! When do you want to do something together?"

"Tonight. I just realized that I've always spent so much time focusing on everything else in life that I need to give you some time. You're my wife, you should come first. I know that, and I hate that I can't actually make you come first."

"I don't think you should feel bad about it," Courtney didn't like it either, but she understood. Jason may not have put her first, but she was in his life more than she was ever in AJ's life. "This is so exciting! Dinner with my husband, tonight, just the two of us…"

"Why don't you decide where we're going to go. I'll even wear something nice, but no ties… I draw the line at ties."

"You can't stop me from wearing a dress…"

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Courtney kissed her husband, a present for his spontaneity. She was going to spend some time with Jason, going to get some quality alone time with him. For that reason alone she had plenty to be happy about.