Author's Notes: PhDelicious rocks (as usual). And I am so grateful that you stopped by to read my story (as usual).
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The Last Embrace
by Kristen Elizabeth
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April 2007
"You were on the bride's side, right?"
Laura looked up from her empty champagne glass. The man asking her the question had led her to her seat at the church. Greg Sanders, groomsman. She remembered from the program.
"Greggo." Before Laura could answer, the groom himself approached them, throwing one arm up around Greg's shoulders. "I'd like you to meet Sara's mother, Laura Sidle."
"Wow! No wonder you look so familiar. It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."
Laura had never really liked being called "ma'am," but Greg Sanders was far too endearing to be irritating. "You, too."
Nick patted his friend's shoulder before releasing him. "Can you give us a second, man?"
"Sure." Greg started walking away. "Mrs. Sidle, save a dance for me later, okay?"
She smiled and nodded. It didn't matter how old you got, being asked to dance by a handsome man could be the highlight of your night. "He's sweet," she said.
"He's a goofball and we love him." Nick grinned. "Of course, I love just about everything today. But nothing quite as much as…" His eyes settled on a spot across the perfectly manicured lawn.
Laura followed his gaze and found her daughter.
The bride was surrounded by women, all of whom were taking turns laying their hands against the mound of her stomach. She was an island of quiet misery in a sea of over-eager well-wishers.
"My sisters," Nick sighed. "They're supposed to be keeping her off her feet as much as possible, not putting her on display."
She couldn't stop watching Sara. Throughout the ceremony, she'd stared at her. The pretty, but awkward teenager had blossomed into a beautiful, successful woman. And she'd missed it. She would be missing this, too, if not for the man standing next to her.
"How far along is she?"
Nick tore his eyes away from his new wife long enough to look at her. "Seven months." He paused. "She wants to talk to you. She just…doesn't know how."
"It's enough to be here," Laura said. "I don't want to upset her."
He laughed. "Laura, one thing about your daughter that I bet hasn't changed in all these years…she's no delicate flower. Even pregnant." Nick nodded in Sara's direction. "Go rescue her. Trust me, she'll be grateful."
As she wove her way through the other guests, Laura tried to come up with things she could say to Sara. Sure, she could congratulate her on her wedding and her baby and the wonderful life she'd managed to find, but it all seemed too corny. It would be their first exchange in eighteen years. It needed to have some kind of meaning.
By the time she reached Sara, her daughter had been allowed to take a seat. Laura took a final second to study her. She had decided against white, and gone with a beautiful shade of shadowed mauve. Her hair was up in curls with tendrils framing her face. And although she looked radiant, there was something else in her eyes. Something she didn't want anyone else to see.
She was looking down at her new wedding ring when Laura quietly pulled up a chair next to her. Sara glanced up. She was startled, but she did her best to hide that, too.
For a long minute, neither of them could find anything to say. Laura reached for something, anything to break the horrible silence. "I love your dress."
Sara looked down at her stomach. "It was the only one that fit."
"It's beautiful." Her hands were shaking, so she tucked them between her knees. "The ceremony…the reception…it's all beautiful."
"Nick's mother will be happy to hear that. She has a flair for planning." Sara started twisting her ring around her finger. "Nick told me he'd gotten in contact with you. But I didn't think you'd come."
Laura felt the tears coming. "You don't know how often I've dreamed about your wedding day. I stopped hoping I'd get to see it a long time ago. He gave me back that hope."
"Nick operates in a world of black and whites," Sara murmured. "To him…family is family and nothing can change that. He didn't grow up in our house." A breeze swept over them. "You know…"
She waited for Sara to go on, and when she didn't, Laura prompted, "What?"
"I've spent more than half of my life trying to figure out what happened that night. I mean…I know what happened. I was there. But now…" Sara's hand cupped her belly. "All I want to know is how you could have let things get that bad. Because I know now…whenever I feel her kick, I know that I would stop at nothing to protect her." Her eyes were red with accusation. "If someone, even someone I loved, ever laid a hand on me in front of her, I would be gone in a second. No excuses, no second chances."
Laura pressed her fingers to her lips for a second. "Then…you're a lot stronger than I was."
"Sara…Laura." Nick approached the table with a fair amount of trepidation. "I'm sorry to butt in, but I have to steal my wife for a minute."
Sara cleared her throat lightly. "What is it?"
Nick helped her to her feet, giving her a soft kiss in the process. His hand went to her lower back, protectively, as he murmured, "He's here, Sara."
She hadn't meant to overhear, but at the mention of this mystery guest, the things her daughter had been trying to hide behind a smile was instantly revealed. Pain. Sadness. Laura drew in a breath. Could Nick see it, too?
"I need to lie down for a minute." Glancing between her husband and her mother, but not really seeing either one of them, Sara whispered, "My feet are killing me."
She left, heading towards the hall and the bridal suite. Nick smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, Laura. If you'll excuse me."
Laura grabbed a fresh champagne glass from the next waiter who walked by and downed it. She would dance with Greg Sanders, she decided, and call it a day.
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After dinner, while Laura took Cassie upstairs for a bath before bedtime, Sara let the dishes wait and joined Grissom on the patio. He was sitting in the same lawn chair in which Nick used to fall asleep after mowing the lawn. Sara stood in the open sliding glass door, watching him for a few seconds.
His chin was titled up; he was gazing at the stars like all the answers lay there.
"I found Cygnus awhile back," she said, stepping out into the night air. "The Northern Cross. Nick liked it."
If Grissom heard her, he gave no indication of it. Sara walked over and sat down in the chair closest to his. "Can you see it tonight?"
"I see a lot of things clearly tonight." She could feel Grissom looking at her profile, but she refused to turn her head. "I suppose I should have wondered back then, but I was a little distracted by…"
"Reese?"
"Coming home to an empty house," he finished. "Finding that you'd…"
"Slept with Nick? I never lied to you."
"I thought we weren't going to rehash."
Sara leaned on the arm of the chair to see him better. "Do you think I ever wanted to be the kind of woman who doesn't know who the father of her child is?" She swallowed back a lump. "But honestly, Gris…you and I…we weren't doing very well before that weekend."
"I don't agree with that."
"Come on." Her eyes watered. "You really think we were all right? With you heading to New Orleans every other weekend, and working straight through the weekends that you were here? All we ever did was have sex. We stopped talking. I missed you." She lifted her shoulders. "And I wasn't happy."
He swore almost too softly for her to hear. "If you were so unhappy, why didn't you tell me?"
"I guess…I wanted you to see it. How could you not see it?" When he said nothing, she answered for him, "Because you weren't looking."
"I did the best I could, Sara."
She nodded as the tears slipped down her throat. "And that's why I went to Nick. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. But you couldn't promise me a weekend." Several minutes passed. "If you'd been totally happy yourself…there wouldn't have been a Reese."
"It wasn't like that," Grissom finally said. "She was my student."
"I was your student once upon a time."
"I didn't love her."
A shiver ran down her spin. "I don't know for sure that you loved me."
"Really?" Grissom's chuckle was laced with bitterness. "I guess you weren't looking either." Above them, a star streaked by, beautiful in death. "Is Cassie mine?"
Sara stood up on unsteady legs. "She's Nick's. He loved her without asking that question."
"Have you ever run her DNA?"
She whipped back around. "Why? Do you want to be a daddy? I'd imagine Reese has many child-bearing years left. Ask her to play house."
Grissom reached for her arm before she could stalk away. "I want to know, Sara."
"Then get a court order. Because that's what it's going to take for you to get a single cell from my daughter."
He stepped back. "When did you start hating me?"
Her anger passed as quickly as it had come, and suddenly, she wanted to cry again. "I don't." Sara crossed her arms over her belly. "But I don't know if I'm ready to have you back in my life again. Not right now. Not like this."
"All right." Grissom slipped his hands into his pockets. "Well. You know where to reach me." On his way out the sliding glass door, he stopped and looked back. "About Reese…"
"I don't want to know," Sara said, dully.
"It doesn't matter. You've already decided," he said, walking into the house. "Just remember, Sara, that's a question that you never asked."
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To Be Continued