Lucas Rules

I must not say that I am better than Zac

Although I am

I may not let anyone know in any form that I am better than Zac

I must never tell Zac that I am better than him

Or that he is a crap actor

I may not come in one day saying that I have got some girl pregnant

Even if it is true

I may not get a girl pregnant

I must never have sex

Even if I am paid

I must never tell Vanessa that her butt looks big in something

Even if it does

I must never get Zac to tell Vanessa that her butt looks big

I must never get Zac to do something evil to the girls

Even if it is his plan

I must never listen to Zac if he wants me to do something evil to the girls

Even if he pays me

I must never ask for a raise

I must never go to the press if they do not give me a raise

I must not throw a tantrum if I don't get a raise

I must never throw a tantrum

Even if it gets me ice cream

I must never steal one of Ashley's bras

I must never wear one of Ashley's bras

I must never stuff one of Ashley's bras and pretend to be her

Even at Halloween

I must never put on a big wig and pretend to be Tina Turner

Even if it is for a fancy dress party

I must never cover Kenny in fake blood when he sleeping and run around shouting "OMG someone killed Kenny"

Even at April Fool's

I must never blame Zac for 'Killing Kenny'

I must never laugh if Zac cannot get the dance moves right

I must never laugh if his voice goes during a song

I must not giggle if Ashley starts doing Jazz Hands

I must never giggle

Giggling is for girls

I am not a girl

I must not dress as a girl and call myself Lucia

I must not do Jazz Squares in my spare time

I must not eat Ice Cream on Sunday Nights (( Why? ))

I must not add stupid comments to rules (( It wasn't a comment it was a question))

I must remove these comments

I must now go and make coffee for everyone because I didn't remove them

I must not add anything but milk, sugar, water and coffee to Kenny's coffee

Or anyone else's

I must not add a beard and moustache to Ashley's posters

Or Vanessa's

I must not put on Ashley's voice and plan interviews

With random strangers

Or weird people

I must not phone in pretending to be Ashley and say that I am ill

Or Vanessa

Or Zac

I must not call in saying I cannot come in because my fish is sick

Or my dog

Or any pets that I may actually have

'Don't feel like it' is not an excuse to miss a day of practice

I must sit and watch others learning the dance

Even if I don't want to

I must not laugh when they get it wrong

I must not throw a tantrum when they do it better than me

I must not take them out drinking

I must not drink

Even though I am 22

I must not laugh at Vanessa because she is the baby of the gang

I must not give Vanessa a fake ID so she can come into a club with us

I must not pay the bouncer to let us in

Or offer him a part in High School Musical 2

Even if he begs me

I must not laugh when people do not ask Monique for an autograph

I must not sound to pleased when people only come to me

And tell me that I am cute

Even though I am that I am

I must not turn up late

Even if my mum was ill

I must find a way to be in on time

I must not try to fly on a broom

I am not Ethan Dalloway

Or Harry Potter

I must never shave my hair again

Even if I have to

I must refuse because it makes my fans sad

I must never die my hair

Pink

Red

Or purple

I must not shave Zac's hair because I am jealous

Although my hair is definitely better

I must not be so smug about my looks

Although it is obvious that chicks dig me more

I have proof

I must not jump the postman and steal all of Zac's fanmail

And then laugh because he hasn't got any

And that he is not loved

I must not do anything to any of the cast

Even if I had to sit on my hands to stop myself

I must only ever work for Disney

I must not become a traitor

Even if they offer me more money

I must not change any of these rules

Even if Kenny orders me to

Or Disney pays me

Signed Lucas Stephen Grabeel

2006