Troy rules

I am not God

I am Troy Bolton

I am not God

I am GOD

I must erase number 4

I must not get people to refer to me as God

Because I am not him

Wearing a white sheet and a halo does not make me God

I must not force people to try out for Basketball

Just because I am God

I must not tell them that if they do not try out then I will make their life hell

Because I am God

I must not make people say that I am a Sex God

I must get them to just call me God

I must writing that I am God

I must stop referring to myself as God

I am not God

I may wish that I am God

I may dream that I am God

But I am not God

I must not scream and rip down that giant picture of me because it makes me look fat

I must not say that I look fat

I must not tell Chad that he has put weight on

Or Jason

Or any of them team

I must not tell Ms Darbus that she is an old hag

Even though she is

I must also not tell her that she is fat

Erm no comment NEXT

I must never get my hair cut

Without my father's permission

I must never ask my father for permission to get my hair cut

I must never think that Sharpay is 'Kinda Cute'

I must never ask Sharpay out

I must stop looking at Sharpay

And talking about her

I must only date Gabriella

Or Ryan ((Why would I date a guy?))

I must not use rules to add questions and comments

I must never ask why I should date Ryan

People seem to think that it would be cute

:s

I must not use the excuse my dog ate it for not doing my maths homework

Or saying that I had practice

There is more to life than Basketball

I may not use the basketball excuse

Even if it was true

I must not get my dad to go and shout at Ms Darbus

Just so that I can have some fun

I must not find it funny

I must not laugh at anything period

I must not laugh at the word period

I must not ask what a period is like

That is just gross

I must not be gross

Damn

I must not throw a tantrum when we have to do Algebra

I must not scream "But I don't want to see Alge's Bra"

I must not also mention that I only want to see Gabriella's bra

I must not think about Gabriella's bra

Or what is hiding in them

I must stop grinning whilst writing the last three rules

I must stop thinking about this

I must move onto the next rule

I must not knick Chad's clothes whilst he is in the shower

And put his underwear on the flag pole

And then raise it

And shout "SOMEONE'S UNDERWEAR IS UP THERE"

And then laugh when people realise that it is Chad's

I must not tell the lunch ladies that I am God

And that I want cooked chicken dinner

I must now stop referring to God

Because I am not him

I am also not Jesus

So I must never try and heal people

I am also not Leo Wyatt from Charmed

So I cannot Orb to High School

I must also not try to fly there on a broom

I am not Harry Potter

Harry Potter is not real

I must not cry because I was just told that he is not real

Neither is Santa

I must now stop crying

I must not be upset because my dreams have been crushed

I may not tell people that I still believed in Santa Clause

This must now become my biggest secret

I must never tell anyone any of my secrets

Not even Chad

I must never laugh at Chad's hair

And call him 'Afro Man'

Or anything that will hurt his feelings

I must always abide by these rules

I may never burn these rules

Just so that I can make them happen

I must now do 20 laps round the gym

Troy Bolton

Aged 16

2006