Ryan Rules

I am Ryan Evans

Well duh

I am the twin brother to Sharpay

I am younger than Sharpay

I am to be Sharpay's slave

I am to do whatever Sharpay wants me to do

I must go where she wants

I must audition for every musical

I must get the lead in every musical

I must not make out with my sister

Even if it is for a musical

I must not think about Troy whilst performing

I must not smile to him

Or talk to him

Or wave to him

I must not tell Troy that I am in love with him

I must tell Sharpay that I am in love with him

I must dress how I am told

I must not clash with Sharpay

I must match

I must have a hat for every day of the week

I must let Sharpay dress me

Because I do not have fashion sense (HEY)

I must not shout at my father

I must obey my family

I must drive a pink car

:s

I must practice dancing for 4 hours a night

I must not have any friends

I must let Sharpay rule the school

I must not stand in her way of claiming power

I must not ask for any power

I must not complain that she always gets the attention

I am also not God

Or Jesus

Or anyone who was powerful

I am weak

I am one with the wind

I must delete 39

I must not read any one else's rules

I must not make Troy my slave

Although I want to

I may not spread rumours about Troy

Saying that he isn't who he says

Or that he can't actually play basketball

And that he is cheating whilst singing

I must do anything that would harm his reputation

I must not jump around going "ahhhh"

Even for the hell of it

I must never say hell in these rules

I must not eat sugar

Or candy

I must only drink milk

With a straw

I must not call Sharpay 'Ice Queen'

Even though she is a cold hearted bitch

I must never say that again

I must not tell everyone that Ms Darbus is my mother

I must never buy her flowers

Not even to say thank you

Or Happy Birthday

I must ignore Ms Darbus

Even when she shouting at me

I must not say that I was abducted by aliens which is why my homework isn't done

I must not say that Sharpay was abducted by aliens

Even though I wish she was

I must never use the word period

Because it makes me laugh

I must not draw hearts around the giant picture of Troy

And write Ryan 4 Troy

I must not put horns on Chad's pictures

Or a pitchfork

I my not vandalise school property

I must not say that Chad's hair is fake

Or that Gabriella's boobs are fake

And that she is really a man

I must not cover myself in green goo and say Jason sneezed over me

I may not pay the nurse to give me a doctors note to go home

I must not come in with a metal suit and a loo brush on my head claiming I am a Darlek

And that I want to 'Exterminate'

Wearing a skirt does not make me a girl

So I cannot go in the girls toilet

Just to see their faces

I must not do anything illegal

Even if it is funny

I must obey these

Even under protest

I must never lose these rules

Or burn them

Or say my dog ate them

Signed Ryan Evans

2006