Gabriella Rules

I am a math geek

And a singer

I am not to play Basketball

Even though I am better than Troy

People saw that

I must participate in all Scholastic Decathlons

I must listen to Taylor

She is Queen of the Math

And I am God

No I am not

I must not listen to Troy when he says that I am God

Or that he is God

I must not call him God

Even though I want to

I must call him Troy

I must do all my homework

I may not use the excuse that I am a math freak and should not have to do homework

Or that I am going to quit the Scholastic Decathlon if they give me homework

I may not do Troy's homework

Just so that he can stay on the Basketball Team

I may not go to watch Basketball just to see a sweaty Troy running around

I must stop smiling

I must not think about a sweaty Troy

I may not try and get Chad and Taylor together

Even though they are the cutest couple

I must not laugh when I get the lead in a play and Sharpay doesn't

I must offer her support

I must tell her there are no small actors just small parts

Even though this isn't true

I must not jump around in her face going "I GOT IT AND YOU DIDN'T"

NANANANANANA

I must not wear the same outfit in the same week

I must not draw a moustache on the giant picture of Chad

Or Troy

I may also not scribble Chad's picture out

Pretending that it was a 5 year old

I may not act as a 5 year old

I may not bring a 5 year old to High School

Just to do that

I may not start sliding down the stairs going "I wanna be a firewoman"

I may slide down any poles doing this

I must not laugh when he wears pink

Even if he does look goofy

And gay

I must never get Troy and Ryan together

Although I want them together

I then must not start screaming "YOU LEFT ME FOR RYAN" at the top of my lungs

I may not shout "mummy" during class

I many not shout anything during class

Except the answer

I must add makeup to Troy

Even to see what he looks like as a girl

I may not show Troy what is in my bra

Even if I have an urge to

I must hide all sexual urges towards Troy

I may not add a "Gabby – Queen of song and dance" sign to my locker

I may not add a "Sharpay – I beat you" sign to Sharpay's locker

I may not ask Troy to do this

Or Chad

I am not God

Or a queen

Or a princess

Wearing a tiara does not make me a princess

Wearing a Toga and a crown does not make a Greek Goddess

I do not have a trident

Or dominion over anyone

Except myself

I must not charge people for tutoring

I may not take money off them

I may not laugh that the previous rule was 69

I may not laugh at the number 69

I am not a giggling girl

I am Gabriella Montez

I may not shave Jack Bolton's hair

Even though he hates me

I may not start rumours about Jack Bolton

I may not do anything to Jack Bolton

Or say anything

I must cover the gym in pretty pink balloons

And ribbons

Just to see the guy's faces

I may not do anything to the gym

I may not sabotage Sharpay and Ryan's auditions

Just so that Troy and I get the leads

I must not cry if we don't get the lead

I am a big girl

I must not say that I was abducted by aliens which is why I am late

I must ride the school bus

I must eat Zeke's cooking

I must not rip one of Ryan's shirts just to see if he cries

Or steal one of his hats

I must do as these rules say

I cannot use some magical powers I don't have to change them

I must also not get the Decathlon club to do math on it and change it

Signed Gabriella Montez

2006