Sharpay Rules

I am not the Queen of East High

Although I boss everyone around

I must stop bossing everyone around

Especially my brother

Even if he tells me that he likes it

I must never wear the same outfit in a week

Or a year

I must have a new outfit for every day of the year

I must make sure that Ryan doesn't clash with me

I must dress Ryan

I must just give him the clothes

And let him dress himself

Because dressing him would be gross

And illegal

Especially now we are 16

I must always match my bag and shoes

I must not use my mobile in class

I may not make stupid faces behind Ms Darbus's back

Even if I am dared to

I may never take part in any such dares

Or any dares full stop

I must not dare people

And threaten them

Saying that I will make their lives hell

I must not ask Troy to be his Goddess

Because he is not God (To me he is)

I must not go around East High going "Do you know who I am?"

Or "MOVE"

Or "DRAMA QUEEN COMING THROUGH"

I must not shout anything down the corridors

I must not be nasty to Zeke

Or tell him to evaporate

I must not poke Chad's hair to see if it is alive

I must not say I lost my handbag in his hair

I must not put my handbag in there just to say that

I must not offer him a haircut

I must not take his clothes and hide them when they in the shower

I must not enter the shower rooms when they showering

I must not around screaming "Chad has a tiny willy"

Even if the above rule is true

I must not take a picture to prove it

Or show the girls

Or Taylor

I must not compare him to Zeke

I must not even think of Zeke naked

I must never see Zeke naked

Not until we are 35

I must not tell Gabriella to 'Break a leg'

Even if I mean it in the theatrical sense

I must not laugh at Ryan because he couldn't read G-O-D-R-A-M-A-C-L-U-B-EXCLAMATION POINT

I must not ask why they done that

I must just be grateful

I must not sabotage Gabriella and Troy's audition again

Even if I have good intentions

I must not go round Troy's screaming "How could you cheat on me with that slut"

I must not also say that he got me pregnant

I must never get pregnant

I must stay a virgin

Virgins are innocent

I must not say that Ms Darbus and Jack Bolton have something going on

Just to see them arguing

I must not make signs saying "Gabriella WHOREtez"

I am friends with Gabriella

She is actually nice

I must join the Scholastic Decathlon

I must not cry because of this rule

I must not hit the principal because he just told me that it was a joke

I must not eat the fries that fell down my top in the cafeteria

I must not eat anything that has fallen down my top

I must not use the excuse of 'you split your milk on your trousers' to clean Troy up

I must not touch Troy

Sexually or Non-Sexually

He is not interested in me

I am the Ice Princess

I must not protest to the above

I must not watch Cartoons

They are childish

I am not a child

I must not say that I love Daffy Duck

Or Mickey Mouse

I must not accuse Ryan for these rules getting lost

Or saying my maid moved them

I must keep these rules with me

At all times

Signed Sharpay Evans

2006