Diamond Daydreams

A/n: Itai will be coming up soon I just have to do some crap. I had this idea stuck in my head. I got this idea from watching COPS. Hehehehe :laughs till I died:

Chapter 5 COPS Uncensored

Narrator: On this episode of COPS we see Officer Uzumaki and Officer Sai Patrol the streets in their cop cars.

Uzumaki: …Yeah it may not be the most respected job in the world but it's still a good one and at the end of the day I can call myself a man.

Sai: (laughs) Are you sure about that?

Uzumaki: (sneers) Shut the fuck up.

Radio: (staic)We got a disturbance call from the West Farms area. It seems that someone has reported a crazed woman creeping about a man's house.

Uzumaki: (smiles) We're on it.

Sai: (mumbles) I wish you were on me.

Uzumaki: (blushes) What the hell Sai! They got this shit on TV!

Sai: (smiles) I'm sure they'll cut that part out Naruto.

Narrator: They arrive at the scene where they see a girl with short pink hair roam around the victims' house.

Sai: Alright you go talk to the victim I'm going to talk to the suspect .

Uzumaki: (grins) Right.

Uzumaki: (knocks on the house door. Then he is greeted by a man with black hair and black eyes.) Are you Sasuke Uchiha?

Sasuke: Yes, I called because there's this woman that's been following me for over a month now. I didn't pay much attention to it. But now it's getting real annoying and I just want this crazy bitch off my property.

Uzumaki: (looks confused) How come you didn't call sooner if you say she's been following for a month already?

Sasuke: (huffs) What are you retarded? I just told you that I didn't really care but then she started taking my shit.

Uzumaki: I'm going have to ask you to calm down unless you want to get arrested to.

Sasuke: Whatever.

Narrator: Officer Uzumaki and Sasuke hear a commotion going on by the house of the house and Uzumaki goes to investigate. There he sees Officer Sai trying to calm the suspect down.

Sai: Please calm down and assume the position.

Sakura: (hysterical) But I didn't do anything! I just wanted to give Sasuke-Kun back his special toy.

Uzumaki: His what? (turns to Sasuke)

Sasuke: (goes from shocked to embarrassed) I-I-I don't know what the fuck this bitch is talking about.

Sakura: But Sasuke-Kun I-

Sasuke: Get this crazy bitch off my property!

Sakura: (crying) It wasn't even me! It was Ino! (gasps for breath due to tears)

Sai: Just put you're hands behind your back.

Sakura: (cries harder) thatstupidbitchsh (gasps for air) etoldmethiswasSasukekunsdildo (gasps for air) andIcouldgetpregantoff (gasps again) ofitandallIeavereverwantedwas (takes in a fairly large amount of air) HIM!

Sai: (whispers to Naruto) This bitch is a day late and a dollar short.

Uzumaki: (whispers to Sai) You got that right.

Sakura: …(flees the scene)

Sai: We got a runner (starts to follow her) Get back here you goddamn crazy bitch!

Uzumaki: (yells after Sai) I'll take the car! (turns to Sasuke) I'll be back with the papers.

Narrator: In the car Uzumaki radios in to his fellow officers.

Uzumaki: We got a White female running west bound. She has pink hair and green eyes about 5 foot six. (Sniggers). Suspect appears to be a devoted stalker.

Hyuga: (almost breathless) Yeah I am here with Sai. He has the suspect in cuffs. We're right here on Kohona Avenue and I don't have the car with me.

Uzumaki: I'll be right over. (talks to camera) It really feels great when we get these freaks off the street.

Narrator: When Uzumaki gets to the scene he isn't so surprised to find that the woman is still hysterical.

Sakura: (still crying.) My parents are gonna be soooo mad at meee!

Sai: Next time you should think about that before you decided to follow people.( slams car door in her face.

Uzumaki: Neji what happen to your face.

Hyuga: (touches bruise spot and blushes) I-It's nothing. I was just assaulted by the suspect.

Sai: (laughs) she assaulted him with this (holds up a red dildo)

Uzumaki: (shocked) no way.

Hyuga: (blushes) be quite Sai!

Uzumaki: (laughs) let's just take her back to the precinct.

Hyuga: Sai I think you should drive her back to the victim's house while I and Uzumaki take the suspect back to the precinct.

Sai: Fine, I'll catch you guys later at the bar.

Narrator: Driving back Officer Uzumaki and officer Hyuga are annoyed by Sakura's crying.

Hyuga: Now would be a good time to take that right of silence.

Uzumaki: A-K-A shut the fuck up back there!

Sakura: Please just let me out I swear I won't do anything.

Hyuga: We would have let you go if it were not for the fact that you assaulted me.

Sakura: But I said 'sorry'!

Uzumaki: Well you'll just have to suck it in and learn your lesson.

Hyuga: It just goes to show you that crime doesn't pay.

Uzumaki: Neji

Hyuga: Yes?

Uzumaki: I'm sure you could've said something a little more original than that to end the show.

Hyuga: (blushes) I'm not exactly an A- class writer.

Uzumaki: Whatever (looks at camera) listen bitches, if you're going to do something wrong make sure you don't get caught. Or else you're going to have to face the greatest cop that ever lived! Naruto Uzumaki!

A/N: There was about a billion different ways I could have gone with this idea and if I really wanted I could have wrote a hundred fucking pages. Maybe I'll write a part two. Well I got to take a shit so……Oh I almost forgot that if anyone likes this COPS idea they can use it and drop me the link for it so I can read it XD yeah!