-1"No, really, who is she?" Roxas asked as he drew closer to the bench.

Axel finally lifted his head from the back of the bench. "Roxas, this is Serenity Moonchild. Serenity Moonchild, this is-"

"ROXAS-CHAN!" Serenity cut Axel off, jumping off the bench to envelop Roxas in a crushing bear hug. "Ohmaigawd! I LOVE you! You're my absolute SECOND favorite character!" Several birds in the park took flight at the sound of her screeching voice. "Second only to Axel-chan, of course." Serenity turned and winked at Axel, still holding Roxas in a death grip.

"Axel, I think she's crushing my rib cage!" Roxas gasped out, his face turning blue from the force of Serenity's Hug of Doom.

"Okay, that's enough. Hands off the best friend." Axel got off his bench to pry Serenity off Roxas, who took several much needed deep breaths. Serenity looked disappointed.

"Aww…you mean you guys don't have hawt sweaty guy-on-guy sex?" She asked, pouting.

Roxas and Axel stood staring at Serenity in horrified silence. "Nonononononono…" was all Roxas could mutter, traumatized by the images that question conjured in his mind.

"Where in the HELL did you get that idea? Did you play the same game we starred in? Is there some dirty porn version we should be aware of?" Axel asked, enraged.

Serenity shrugged. "The fandom." Axel glared at her. Roxas could only twitch in response

Of course. The fandom. Canon's worst nightmare. Usually in the form of terrible stories written by thirteen year-olds. Who all seemed to be under the impression that Axel was the whore of the Kingdom Hearts series. Little did they know Xemnas was actually the biggest whore in the series. His name doesn't come out to "Mansex" for nothing.

"What do you want, anyway?" Axel asked Serenity. He figured she'd just want a picture of the three of them or some autographs. At worse, she'd want a picture of one of them in their boxers for fanart purposes. Thankfully, fans who wanted THAT were few and far between.

"I wanna come back to The World That Never Was with you guys!" Serenity announced, pointed in the direction she thought it was in.

"What?! NO!" Roxas shouted. An elderly couple walking their dog turned and glared at him.

Serenity pouted, tears forming in her eyes, which were now sapphire blue. "B-bu-but…" She started to whine.

Drowning out the sounds of her pathetic whining, Axel began to think less of the negatives of taking her back, and more of the positives. 'I do need someone to wash my clothes. And replenish my hair gel supply. I know Roxas needs to practice his Menacing Glare on someone. And I've always wanted breakfast in bed. Plus, if she gets too annoying, I can just kill her! Man, this is going to be great!'

"Shut up." Axel cut off Serenity's complaints. "You can come with us on two conditions. One: you cannot under any circumstances add any honorifics to anybody's name EVER. And two: you have to do exactly what I tell you to do." Axel told her, cocking one eyebrow.

"YAY! It's a deal!" Serenity pranced off to gather her things.

"Are you sure about this?" Roxas asked quietly.

"Trust me, this is going to be the best time we've ever had." Axel assured him, grinning devilishly in Serenity's direction.

"Are you going to sleep with her?"

"Ew. No. Just wait. Just wait."

Roxas didn't respond. He was too bust silently wondering why Axel felt the need to say "just wait" twice.

"I'm ready!" Serenity told them, carrying a bag bulging with her stuff.

"Excellent." Axel opened a portal, ushering Serenity in first, then Roxas before going in himself. 'If I'm lucky,' he thought, 'maybe I'll get breakfast in bed BEFORE I kill her!'