Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill, but I DO own One Tree Heights. Ha ha ha! Put that in yer pipe and smoke it! I also don't own any of the characters ::Sigh::

Tree Hill Heights

Reputation

Chapter Four

Haley James

"So, how was it with you and Lucas?" I ask as Brooke comes into the café and sits down beside Jake and I. I notice that she doesn't look too happy and regret asking the question at all. I know that Luke can sometimes be hard to take, and I just hope that she didn't think she could get through to him or whatever. I've known that boy since I was eleven, and even I can't get through to him. He's an enigma.

"We bought a book," Brooke answers in a flat voice despite the huge smile she's flashing us. I don't know Brooke very well, but I'm guessing that she's the kind of person who always has to be alright. She can never complain about anything in case she burdens people. "It was about mice," she adds as an afterthought and Jake chuckles.

"Of Mice and Men?" I ask, knowing how much Lucas loves that book. He always has the one from the library out. I guess he finally decided to get his own.

"I don't know," Brooke shrugs. "I just know it had mice in the title."

"So, where is he now?" Jake asks, taking a sip of black coffee. I've never been able to understand how people can drink black coffee. It has to be milky and full of sweet stuff for me to enjoy it. Coffee on it's own is far too bitter tasting.

Brooke shrugs again and has a faraway look in her eye. "He went back to the school, I guess," she answers. "I mean, you said it yourself. He's a loner, right?"

Uh-oh. I have a feeling Brooke has somehow gotten herself smitten with him. I know exactly what it is. See, it's a need for the unattainable. Lucas comes off as unattainable so most girls think that they should try and attain him, make them feel special about themselves. It never works though because Lucas doesn't go for it. He's too guarded to let anyone close to him.

Yeah, I have a psychology class.

"Yeah, he is," I answer, wondering if I should warn her about Lucas and his self-preservation. I decide not to. She's probably already figured it out by now. After all, Lucas isn't here with her, and Brooke is so stunning she can probably normally get any guy to do whatever she wants.

"Oh, that reminds me," Jake says, setting his mug down. "How do you feel about your very first after-hours party at THH?"

Brooke's eyes widen. "Really?" she asks "You guys do that?"

I almost laugh at how incredulous she sounds. "Well, Jake does. I tend to avoid them like the plague."

"Why?" Brooke asks.

I shrug. Those parties have never been my thing, and the one time I did go - begged by Jake - it didn't end so well. Oh, but I try really hard not to think about that. "Drinking and debauchery. Not one of my strong points."

"So, are you up for it?" Jake asks Brooke.

"How much trouble would it get me into?" She asks, biting her lip. That sounds like a very odd question and I frown.

"None, if you don't get caught," Jake says. "And it's virtually impossible to get caught because the night guard is paid off to keep quiet. A lot of Daddy's money tends to pass hands in this place.

"I can imagine," Brooke laughs. "Well fine then, count me in."

--- --- --- --- ---

Saturday is a day for resting, and that is exactly what I plan to do. Unlike most of the idiots at this school, I do my homework when I get it so my Saturday is completely free. Most people cram all their homework in on Sunday anyway though, so the school is always bustling today.

When we get back from town, the three of us split up. Brooke goes up to her room to pick out an outfit for tonight, Jake goes down to the swimming pool, and I head for the library. Sitting in front of the large open fireplace with a really good book sounds about bliss right now.

So, you can imagine how pissed off I am when I find Nathan in there as if this is what he does every Saturday. It's not. Up until now, I didn't even think Nathan knew where the library was.

"I think you're lost," I say as I walk past him. "The gym is that way," I point back towards the door. Nathan looks up from whatever it is he's reading and smirks. Uh, I hate that smirk. It's so… so… presumptuous, like he thinks every girl's knees will turn to jelly over it.

The really sad thing is that most girl's knees would turn to jelly. Yeah, how unfair is that. Sometimes I'm ashamed of my own sex.

"Hmm, and the prissy bitch section is that way," Nathan shoots back, turning back to his… whatever it is. God, I swear, sometimes that boy infuriates me.

"Wow, I didn't know the library were doing porn now," I say, looking over his shoulder and trying to get a glance at what he's reading.

Nathan slams his hand down over the title at the top of the book and all I can see is that it is actually a book, and it has words in it. And not those sight-impaired type words either.

"You can read?" I ask, feigning shock. Nathan rolls his eyes at me but that stupid little smirk won't budge.

"Yeah, I can."

Hmm, so no witty little come back. Maybe Nathan's losing his touch. I try to look at the book again, but Nathan won't move his hand.

"Do you want something?" Nathan asks, looking up at me with a raised eyebrow.

Yeah, I want to know what you're reading. Seriously, I hate that I'm so curious sometimes. The guy is going to think I have a major crush on him or something. Or that I want to go back for seconds.

Ugh. Bad thought.

"No," I answer quickly. "I'm just trying to get over the shock of seeing you in the library."

"Well, are you over it yet?"

God, what's his problem? I am so determined to find out what he's reading now. I go to the nearest shelf and pick up the first book that comes to my hand. I hurry back to Nathan's table and sit down beside him.

"What are you doing?" Nathan asks, his eyebrows knitting together.

"I'm reading Nathan. That's generally what you do in a library. Of course, I understand that this concept is probably alien to you, so I'll just leave you to do whatever you're doing." I pause and try to catch a glimpse of the title again. Nathan's hand is still in the way. "Which is… what? Exactly?"

Nathan smirks and leans across the table so that his eyes are only a couple of inches away from mine. "Why do you want to know?"

As much as I hate to admit it, he has me there. I mean, why do I want to know? It's not like it's a life or death situation or anything.

Okay, so this is the part where I admit something that no one else in the world knows. Except me, of course, because I've never been very good at lying to myself.

I have a crush on Nathan. Just a teensy one. Really, it's practically non-existent. In fact, ever since… that night, I've barely even looked at him that way. Well, it was more like the week after actually, when he still hadn't mentioned anything.

But yeah, it's still there a little bit.

Not that I would admit this to Nathan of course. Why would I possibly want to make his ego any bigger?

"Just 'cause," I say, trying my best to be incredibly vague.

"Just 'cause what?" Nathan asks, not moving from his position three or so inches from my face.

"Why do you want to know?" I say, mirroring him with the cocky smirk and everything. Nathan's face relaxes and he pulls back, his smirk lifting into a grin.

"So, what are you reading?" I ask, just coming out with it now that we've had our little exchange.

"None of your business," Nathan says, not looking up. "Can't you like, scram or something? I might get a bad reputation with you sat here."

You might think that the guy I - very, very minorly - fancy saying that would hurt my feelings. And you would be right, but I'm not about to let him know that.

"Nathan, two things: One, this is a library, I can sit wherever I want. If it bothers you so bad, then you can move. Two, you already have a bad reputation."

"What, 'high school hero' is a bad reputation now?" Nathan asks.

God, do you see what I have to put up with? How the hell I can crush on this guy, I have no idea.

"No, but 'ego bigger than brain' is."

"So what about 'thinks she's better than everyone else'? Is that a bad reputation?"

"Not if it's true, and assuming that you're talking about me, then it's true."

"Wow, now look who has a big ego."

"It's still not as big as yours."

Nathan leans back on his chair and seems to be surveying me. "You know…" He breaks off and shakes his head, looking back down at his book.

"What?" I ask, intrigued. For a second there Nathan's eyes didn't look so emotionless. He actually looked almost human. Weird huh?

"Nothing, forget it," He answers.

He is so frustrating! He probably only did it to annoy me, and I can't believe that it's working!

I want to push it further, but I really shouldn't do that. Talking to Nathan for too long affects my judgement, and I might do something stupid, like I did that night.

"I never had you down for a James Bond reader," Nathan says suddenly, looking at my book. I look down and realise I've picked up a fiction book from under 'F' for Ian Fleming.

"Oh yeah," I say. "I love him. Well, I love Sean Connery, anyway."

Nathan raises his eyebrows. "I actually agree with you."

The silly little girlish part of me squirms with delight at that statement. I really must find a way to quash that part.

"I never had you down for gay," I return and Nathan doesn't even answer me. Instead he shakes his head and laughs.

"I guess I asked for that."

"So, now you've seen what I'm reading, are you going to tell me what you're reading?" I ask, hoping that this strange little alternate reality bonding session we've shared will somehow get him to open up.

"No."

"Oh, come on! I dare you. In fact, I triple dare you…" my voice catches in my throat when I realise what I've just said and how it affects the other night.

Stupid, stupid Haley.

"Maybe we shouldn't play that game. We know how it ended up last time."

Now, if you expected Nathan to say that with a cocky little grin and a smirk, I wouldn't blame you, but he doesn't. He looks down at the ground and looks… God, he looks embarrassed.

Wow, I feel so special! I managed to make the biggest male slut at THH embarrassed about sleeping with me.

Yeah, this isn't really my day. I feel my cheeks flame up and follow Nathan's example by looking at the ground too. Neither of us say anything and I don't think I've ever felt so awkward in my life.

"Haley, look…" Nathan says, and I just know that he's going to say something to make me feel pitiful and pathetic.

"Don't worry," I say quickly, gathering my purse off the floor. "I won't bother you any more."

And with that I sweep out of the room with my pride broken.

--- --- --- --- ---

"Oh, come on Haley!" Brooke whines, stamping a Manolo Blahnik-ed foot on the floor of my room. I've never really got the appeal of designer shoes when you can get rip-off's for a fraction of the price. I mean, it's not like anyone is going to be able to tell, unless they're some kind of shoe Nazi.

"No," I whine, matching her tone. I lift the magazine I'd been reading closer up to my face and pretend to be enthralled in it, hoping Brooke will get out of my dorm and be on her merry little way, enjoying her first THH party.

Not that I don't like Brooke or anything. In fact, it's surprising how much I do like her, considering I'm naturally programmed to judge people and the fact that I know barely anything about her apart from the fact that she comes from Orange County, has a major fetish for expensive shoes, and is holding back on something, should really bug me. However, Brooke is the kind of person who is just so infectiously fun to be around that I don't really care.

Well, normally anyway.

"But Haley!" She pouts sitting down on the edge of my bed and turning her dark eyes to me. You know, I still haven't figured out if they're green or brown yet? I'd say hazel, but they always just look one or the other. It's very strange. "I won't know anybody"

"You'll know Jake," I tell her, not looking up from my magazine.

She sighs. "But I won't know any girls!"

"What are you, in elementary school?" I laugh. "Go make friends with Peyton… no, actually, I want you to come back from that party with your self-esteem still in tact, so that's probably not a good idea."

"Is she really that much of a bitch?" Brooke asks.

"Well… no, I guess not, but I just really don't like her so… I'm biased."

"Why don't you like her?" Brooke looks positively delighted at the idea of gossip, but the truth is, it's not my gossip to tell, so she's not going to hear it from me.

Yeah, OOC moment or what? But, it has to do with someone I really do like getting hurt by her, so I'm going to withdraw my spiky tongue and smile apologetically.

"Everyone has secrets, Brooke," I say. "Just hers hurt somebody."

Brooke looks like she's about to ask something again, but I interrupt her.

"Come on. You have like, ten minutes to get ready, so you should…"

"Oh my God!" Brooke screams. "Ten minutes? But it takes me at least… No… I will remain clam. Okay. Have a good night alone on your own… being all lonely… and alone… and lonely…"

"I get the point, Brooke," I laugh, throwing a cushion at her. Brooke ducks it and blows me a kiss before going out the door.

I put the magazine down and take a deep sigh. See, I think that maybe I should share something with you. Something… pretty monumental.

Are you ready for it? No really, it's a shocker so don't take this lightly. Are you sitting down comfortably?

Fine, then I shall begin…

I was a virgin before I slept with Nathan.

Yes, I lost my virginity to the biggest male slut at THH. I feel so special. Or, maybe I actually would if probably half of the other female population lost it to him too.

Oh, but don't think I have some kind of cavalier attitude to losing my virginity because I'm not flipping out or anything. Trust me, I've already had the major nervous break down. I had it in the week that followed actual event. I mean, why else do you think Jake and Lucas know about the whole thing? It's not like I was bragging about it or anything, I was just majorly spazzing. Yes, I just said 'spazzing'.

It was actually Jake who calmed me down, made me see some kind of perspective. He said this:

"Haley, I know that everyone is always going on about your first time having to be really special, and you know, if it is then good for them. I'm happy for them. But… it's not the end of the world if it isn't. I mean, everyone makes mistakes Hales, and it's not fair to let our mistakes rule us. So, you lost your virginity to Nathan. So what? It just means that when you have sex with someone you really care about, you'll be ready for it, and you won't have to worry about the… well, the… you know. It won't… um… hurt as much. Maybe?"

So, even though he got a little shaky towards the end there, his whole speech pretty much put it into perspective for me. We used protection so I didn't have to worry too much about that, but I still made an appointment with the clinic in Tree Hill during our next visit just to be on the safe side. The walked in with the makeshift equivalent of a burka. You know, scarf around my head, big 60s sunglasses, clothes that I would never normally wear (A sweater my Gran knitted for me the Christmas before and a pair of Jake's baggy shorts fastened with two belts.)

And now I am the normal, fully functioning person you see today. Still maybe a little bitter about the fact that Nathan felt embarrassed about sleeping with me, but apart from that… Everything is just hunky dory! Yay me.

--- --- --- --- ---

AN: Yeah. So, that was it. Next is Brooke. I finally have a structure to this story now with who'll be doing what chapters. It's mainly the core four of my story - Brooke, Lucas, Nathan and Haley - but so far Peyton has a cameo and I might put Jake in for one too.

So, please review?