"That's impossible," Foreman said from the doorway.
"Impossible or not, that's an appendix," Jasper reiterated.
"Why do I doubt myself?" House mused aloud.
"Maybe because the patient has already had an appendectomy?" Chase asked.
"Does he have appendectomy scars?" Wilson asked.
"He has some scars on his abdomen, they're definitely from a laproscopic procedure," Chase answered. "But the patient has also had his gall bladder removed, so we can't be certain when they're from."
"All fascinating, but what say we get that diseased appendix out of this guy before it ruptures?" House asked.
Foreman and Chase left the room to take care of getting their patient prepped for surgery. House and Wilson looked at the ultrasound again, while Jasper stood quietly in the background.
"Your appendix doesn't just grow back," Wilson said. "Unless you're wrong and it's not his appendix. Tumor?"
"House isn't wrong," Cameron said, entering with the patient's file from the conference room.
"That's my girl," House said. Wilson rolled his eyes.
"We're all looking through the history at the procedures, we missed the most obvious thing. The records from his appendectomy say Mr. Bromley is 5'7" but our patient is about 6'1". Unless he's had an inexplicable growth spurt at age 32, it's two different people," Cameron said. "Whoever had his appendix out eight months ago was not Dennis Bromley."
"Medical identity theft is one of the fastest growing forms of crime against an individual in the US," Jasper said. House looked at her with interest. "My brother's a cop and my dad's an insurance agent. I hear about this kind of stuff all the time. Health care is expensive. Somebody who can't afford insurance probably can't afford an appendectomy either. But, if you steal somebody's wallet and get their insurance card, you can get treatment pretty much anywhere. Nobody ever asks for picture ID with a health insurance card," Jasper shrugged.
"Okay then. Since you're such an expert, why don't you take Mr. Brinkley's …"
"Bromley's," Cameron corrected.
"Whatever. Mr. Bromley's chart to one of the hospital attorneys and have them look into getting it corrected," House ordered Jasper. She took the file from Cameron and left the office.
"Now, who to have lunch with?" House looked at Wilson and then Cameron. This was going to be interesting. Cameron and Wilson glanced at each other, both thinking the same thing. The best friend, or the girlfriend?
"Why not both?" Cameron asked.
"That's right, I forgot you were into threesomes," House joked, and Cameron shot him a glare.
"Sorry to disappoint, but I'm having lunch with Lisa today," Wilson said, as he exited. When he reached the door, he turned back. "By the way Allison, thanks for helping her out. I don't know what you did, exactly, but she looked more relaxed than she has in weeks. Much better for the baby."
Cameron stared at Wilson's retreating back. House watched her carefully, trying to read the expression on her face.
"Baby?" Cameron asked House.
"Yeah. Did I forget to mention that?" House said. He was still studying her, looking for any sort of reaction.
"I don't think I'm really hungry right now," Cameron said quietly. She walked toward the door slowly.
"Cameron," House called. She stopped and turned to look back at him from the doorway. He could still read nothing in her facial expression, and it concerned him. He knew she must be feeling something, but what? He didn't know how to ask her about it without being a total jerk, so he said nothing. Cameron dropped her eyes and walked away.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"You lied," House said to Wilson, entering his office from the balcony.
"Yes," Wilson said, although he had no idea what House was talking about. Sometimes it was just easier to agree with him.
"You're not having lunch with Cuddy," House said.
"And you're not having lunch with Cameron. Why not?" Wilson asked, trying to deflect the question.
"I don't know," House answered.
"You don't know? I thought you knew everything," Wilson said sarcastically.
"I never claimed to know everything, just most things. I'm completely willing to admit I know next to nothing about figuring out Cameron," House said as he lay on Wilson's couch and closed his eyes. "What's the rule about telling your girlfriend's secrets to your best friend?"
"I think that depends on why you tell," Wilson replied. "If it's because you're an insensitive ogre, you're probably not supposed to tell. If it's because you're worried about her and need advice, then I think it's okay as long as you keep the details to a minimum."
"She's upset," House said. Wilson waited, but House seemed to have nothing more to say.
"Okay, you'll have to say a little bit more than that," Wilson urged.
"About the baby," House offered.
"The baby?" Wilson squeaked. "She's pregnant?! Why didn't you tell me? When did she find out? Is she keeping…"
"Cuddy's baby," House interrupted, tiredly. Sometimes Wilson was too slow.
"So, Cameron's not pregnant," Wilson said, and waited for confirmation.
"Cameron can't get pregnant," House answered.
"Ah," Wilson said, as the light dawned. "And she's upset because Lisa is pregnant."
"The evidence does point in that direction," House said.
"Wait, why can't Cameron get pregnant?" Wilson asked. "She's young, she's healthy. Just because she didn't get pregnant when she was married doesn't necessarily mean she can't."
"That probably qualifies as the details part I'm not supposed to tell you about. She just can't. She didn't know Cuddy was knocked up. When you mentioned the baby she sort of zoned out and took off," House said, now sitting up and tapping his cane on the floor while he studied his sneakers intently.
"Wow," Wilson let out a breath. "I'm not sure I'm the best person to help you out with this. None of my wives ever wanted to have children, so I don't really have any experience. But judging from what I know about Allison, she's probably feeling a little jealous and hating herself for it."
"Why hating herself?"
"Because she's a good person, and good people are supposed to be happy for their friends when they're having a baby. She's not happy for me and Lisa yet, and she feels like it makes her a terrible person," Wilson explained. "That's just a theory. You're going to have to talk to her about it."
"I knew you were going to say that," House said. He hated talking about his feelings. Why did everyone always want him to talk about his feelings? Well, except Cameron. She had only tried that once, and then she never asked him again. Why was that? House shook his head, just another thing about her he'd probably never understand.
"I actually do have a patient coming in. Is there something else you need?" Wilson asked House. House shook his head no. He stood up and limped back out to the balcony.