(Dil: Yeah Sorry It's late but I lost my Flash Drive with my story on it but I found so yeah… Sorry Again!)
Dil: TIME FOR A HALLOWEEN UPDATE!
Yoshi: It's past Halloween!
Dil: TIME FOR A-
Peach: It's past Thanksgiving too…
Daisy: Dipstick
Dil: Man, Am I slow today?
Yoshi: Just Noticing? Join the club.
Peach: Where's Luigi?
Daisy: Hiding in the Closet because I broke up with him
Daisy and Luigi shippers: GASP!
Dil: Luigi! Come Out of the closet!
Luigi: Sob… No… I'm… Sob…Reading… My… Diary… Sob!
Daisy: Oh Great
Peach: Let's just start the chapter.
Yoshi: Wait! If it's not Halloween and not Thanksgiving then it must be Christmas!
Everyone: DUH!
Daisy: Shut Up Everyone!
Dil: Roll it!
(Forgot Disclaimer: I don't own What I don't own and I own what I own)
Survivor: Mario Style:
Episode 5: The Lucy Liu Christmas Episode! (With Moogles!)
Mushroom TribeNight 12
The tribe sat around the fire.
Mario stared at Luigi.
Luigi stared at Dixie.
Dixie stared at Toad.
Toad stared at King Boo.
King Boo stared at Junior.
Junior stared at King Boo.
King Boo stared at Toad.
Toad stared at Dixie.
Dixie stared at Luigi.
Luigi stared at Mario.
Mario stared at Becky.
King Boo broke the silence.
"I can't believe he died!"
"Is that all you got?" Mario asked.
"Yeah…" King Boo sighed.
And so, everyone stared until their eyes killed themselves.
Mushroom Tribe
Day 13
King Boo shuttered as he awoke. Something seemed different. More wet… the fact that he was sleeping in a puddle didn't mean anything.
Then the Boo of a bigger stature looked up and noticed their shelter was two miles down the beach and the camp had flooded overnight.
"…" King Boo sighed and slapped Luigi for no reason.
"HEY!" Luigi yelled.
"Shut Up!" The other four tribe mates yelled and hit Luigi.
Then Mario looked around.
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" Mario asked.
"Shut Up!" Dixie yelled and threw a retarded llama at the plumber.
"OW!" Mario yelled.
"SHUT UP!" Toad yelled and threw a jackhammer at Mario.
"HOLY CARP! THAT HURT!" Mario screamed.
"SHUT UP!" Junior yelled and threw a fifteen-story building at Mario.
The building crushed the red-capped fellow. Really sad, truly!
"Um… you guys, if I could just tell you all, shelter is two miles down the beach and the camp has flooded overnight!" King Boo yelled.
"You just copy and pasted my sentence!" The author yelled and squashed King Boo because I can!
…
…
…
…
So Ha!
Shell Tribe
Day 13
Toadette poked their fire with a stick for some odd reason. She was the only one awake.
"…" Toadette sighed and jumped in the fire.
"Boring…" Toadette sighed as she burned.
Suddenly, Peach arrived out of nowhere.
"Holy Cheese and Crackers!" Peach yelled. "Why didn't you let me go first?"
"Because I wanted to!" Toadette yelled and impaled Peach in the eye with a pencil sharpener.
And so the two died a slow and painful death.
"Well that wasted five seconds of my life." Toadette said.
"Me too…" Peach sighed.
Oh forget this! the day's pretty much going to go on like this anyway!
Shell Tribe
Day 14
The Tribe sat around the fire. Man, what's with all these people sitting around.
"Hey, you Lardtards!" Daisy said to her teammates. "Why are all of you sitting around?"-THANK YOU-"I mean look at you."
The other seven looked at themselves in a conveniently placed mirror.
"Peach, your have six layers of fat on your forehead!" Daisy pointed at them.
"What about them?" Peach asked and ran her finger through them.
"Bowser, you look like you had a heart attack and died but hell said they didn't have enough room for you!" Daisy said to the fat koopa king.
Bowser just snored.
"Yoshi, we had to get you another pair of shoes for the fat on your ankles." Daisy said and pointed at the four shoes.
"I call them Adam and Monique!" Yoshi yelled and adored the shoes.
"Petey, you look like you were sprayed in pesticide, dipped in rat poison, at by a penguin, ate by a whale, passed by a whale, broke down by nature, and then became really fat!" Daisy explained.
"Why thank you for noticing!" Petey smiled.
"Toadette, did you get screwed by a dog or did you eat one?" Daisy asked the girl.
"That screwed comment was uncalled for!" Toadette yelled.
"Diddy, Did you have sex with Birdo?" Daisy asked.
"No, why?" Diddy asked.
"You're pregnant… you're naked… and you have herpes!" Daisy listed.
"OH MY GOD!" Diddy yelled and bashed his head into a wall.
"Birdo, you have bumps all over you." Daisy told the pink bitch.
"They're not bumps… they're tumors…" Birdo said.
Everyone looked at her with an unconvinced face.
"… Ok, and herpes…" Birdo said.
"Well, you're fat too!" Daisy said. "Now forget that and let's exercise!"
So the redheaded princess started jogging down the beach with the dream team of fatties behind her.
"Okay keep moving those feet!" Daisy said as she ran.
Suddenly, a sea monster grabbed Daisy.
"Yay!" everyone cheered.
The monster threw her on the ground, slammed her into the ground left and right, Tossed her into the air, then bashed her into the ground again, threw her at a tree then threw her backwards in the air, then retreated back into the water. Daisy splashed into the water and floated.
"Oh…" Daisy groaned as she rubbed her head. "What was-"
The monster's teeth formed a circle around her and started lifting.
"Oh Shit…" Daisy said as the Monster's mouth closed and he swallowed her down.
"Hey! Give us back our tribe mate, she was our only source of food." Peach yelled.
"Oh… you'll get her back…" The monster smiled.
Fifteen seconds later…"I'm back!" Daisy chimed.
"I thought he ate you!" Yoshi said.
"Yeah he did… but then he was fired and the producers gagged him until I came out!" Daisy beamed.
"Oh…" Everyone sighed.
"Look, Tree Mail!" said Abigail the wandering biscuit.
Yoshi ate the biscuit and everyone else got on with their lives.
Reward Challenge:
Pachinko Time!
The two tribes walked in to a clearing with Toadette and her brother standing in front of a huge Pachinko board with reds and blue flashing all over.
"Hey Guys! It's time for you reward challenge!" Toadlin said. "Now, I want each of you to step up to the booths."
The fourteen survivors, Mario, Yoshi, Peach, Luigi, Daisy, Junior, Toadette, Bowser, Petey, Dixie, Diddy, Birdo, King Boo, and Toad, stepped up to the booths.
"I'm going to ask trivia questions. If you get one right you'll get a number, the first person to answer gets 1, the second gets 2 and so on. Once everyone gets a number you'll get a chip to put in the pachinko board and I'll explain that once we get to it." Toadlin explained.
"First question, buzz in to answer, On Isle Delfino, the locations are named after what?" Toadzon asked.
Mario and Luigi buzzed in but Mario was faster. "Italian Words!"
"Yes. Mario is one." Toadzon said.
"What is the lowest amount of worlds that can be traveled in The New Super Mario Bros and still finish the game?" Toadlin asked.
Everyone started counting on his or her fingers and minds. Toad rang in after a minute.
"Eighty?" Toad asked.
"No, anyone else?" Toadlin asked.
"Twenty?" Peach asked.
"No…"
"But I know I'm close, I must be one off!" Peach said, and at this Daisy's eyes sparkled.
"Twenty-one!" Daisy yelled.
"Yes!" Toadlin yelled and put Daisy down as number two.
"WHAT!" Peach yelled and hit Daisy.
"Ouchie!" Daisy cried.
"Moving along, what is one Mario enemy in Japanese?" Toadzon asked.
Only a few people buzzed in, but Petey was first.
"I'm Boss Pakkun!" Petey said and pushed his thumbs into his chest.
"Yep, anyone want to add?" Toadzon asked.
Toad buzzed in.
"Wiggler is Hana!" He yelled.
"Anyone else?" Toadlin asked.
"Boo is Teresa!" Yoshi answered.
Dixie looked at King Boo. "That is wrong in so many levels!"
"Okay, Petey is three, Toad is four, and Yoshi is five." Toadzon wrote it down.
"Next!" Toadlin yelled. "In Mario Hoops 3-on-3 how many Final Fantasy characters are playable?"
"Um…" Everyone except Dixie said out loud. "Final Fantasy characters are playable in that game?"
"Yes and 5!" Dixie pushed her buzzer.
"Yessums…" Toadzon said. "Now, in Paper Mario and the Thousand-Year Door what is Vivian?"
"Awesome!" Toad buzzed. (Dil: I totally agree!)
"Toad you've already gone." Toadlin said, agitated at Toad's stupidity.
"Oh…" Toad stared at his feet.
"A Shadow Siren!" King Boo yelled.
"Yep!" Toadzon said happily.
"Okay, now the seven of you, Peach, Luigi, Junior, Toadette, Bowser, Diddy, and Birdo, there are only six more questions. Next Question!" Toadlin said.
"Who were the original six playable characters in the first Mario Party?" Toadzon asked.
"Peach, Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Wario, and DK!" Toadette buzzed in.
"You got it!" Toadzon smiled.
"Now, how many characters were added to the roster of characters in Mario Party 1-7?" Toadlin asked.
"Sixty-two!" Bowser yelled.
"NO!" Toadlin yelled.
"Jeez, what's your problem?" Bowser asked.
"She's PMSing!" Toadzon whispered like it was a secret.
Toadlin punched Toadzon and broke his nose. Toadzon collapsed.
Peach buzzed in. "Seven?"
"No." Toadlin glowered.
"But I know I was like one off!" Peach said. At this, Luigi's eyes sparkled.
"Eight!" Luigi said.
"Yes…" Toadlin sighed.
"NOT AGAIN!" Peach yelled.
"Okay, in Super Mario 64 DS, What was the order in which you unlocked characters?" Toadlin asked.
"Yoshi, Mario, Luigi, Wario!" Peach yelled.
"Come again, I don't think the people in Australia heard you!" Toadlin yelled.
"Sheesh!" Peach sighed.
"In Mario Superstar Baseball, how many captains were there?" Toadlin moved along.
"100!" Birdo yelled.
"101!" Bowser yelled.
"102!" Diddy yelled.
"12!" Junior yelled.
"Actual retail price… 12! Bowser Junior, you are today's lucky winner on 'The Host Is Right!'" Toadlin yelled.
"Yay!" Junior yayed. Then he got pistol-whipped by Toadlin!
"In Super Mario Strikers, Name one of the helpers." Toadlin said the next clue.
"Birdo!" Birdo yelled.
"Koopa!" Bowser yelled.
"Hammer Bros.!" Diddy yelled.
"I think we can all agree that Birdo was the slowest." Toadlin said.
"Yep!"
"Uh-huh!"
"Yessums!"
"I agree!"
"Why yes!"
"Yeppers!"
"I say yes!"
"Hell Ya!"
"She sure is!"
"Yes she is!"
"MH-HM!"
"YES!"
"Sure."
"So Birdo is last!" Toadlin smiled and impaled the Birdo with hedge trimmers.
"So why did we do trivia?" Peach asked.
"SHUT UP AND LET ME TELL YOU!" Toadlin yelled. "Now, You're going to go in the order you got your question's right once. You'll drop a coin in the top of the Pachinko board. You'll get Red, Blue, or White. If you get Red or Blue, I'll tell you where to go. If you get white, you'll pick which way you go and Birdo will go the way you don't go. Mario, you're up first."
Mario stepped up a ladder and put his coin in a slot on the far right. He dropped the coin and it hit the prongs and headed down and landed in a blue slot. Toadlin slipped a piece of cardboard so another coin wouldn't go in that slot.
"Mario, go to that mat over there." Toadlin said and Mario walked over to a blue mat.
Daisy, Petey, and Toad all got Blue. Yoshi, Dixie, and King Boo got red. Toadette got Blue. Luigi got Red. Peach got white.
"Because Luigi screwed me, I'm going to go to Mario's mat and make him suffer Birdo!" Peach yelled and ran over to the blue mat.
"So that means Birdo's going to the red mat!" Toadlin said and pushed the carcass over to the mat.
Junior got red. Bowser got red too, making Diddy go to the blue.
"Well, there are your new tribes. The Fire tribe and the Ice tribe." Toadlin said.
"WHAT!" Everyone yelled.
"Don't ask questions" Toadlin said then snapped her fingers and the tribes disappeared.
Fire Tribe
Day 14
The new tribe just stared. They were back at the Shell tribe beach.
"That was weird…" Yoshi said slowly.
"Well…" Luigi looked over at Yoshi.
"Well what?" Yoshi asked.
"Aren't you going to show us around?" Luigi asked.
"Yeah…" Yoshi said. "Just follow me!"
So everyone except King Boo and Birdo followed.
"Here's the beach, here's the camp, and here's our waterfall." Yoshi pointed everything out.
"How did we not notice that?" Junior asked.
"Well, anyone want to go to the top?"
"ME!" Luigi yelled.
So Luigi and Yoshi headed up the waterfall and everyone else decided to drown themselves because they have nothing to do with the way the story is going.
"Wow! Look at the view!" Luigi looked out from the top.
"People reading this, you just know what I'm going to do!" Yoshi broke the fourth wall.
"Yeah… sure…" Yoshi said as he cocked a gun. "Um, Luigi-sama!"
"What?" Luigi asked.
Yoshi sighed then blew a cap in his white ass.
"AHHHHH!" Luigi screamed as he fell down the waterfall.
"LUIGI! PETO BISMOL CAN HELP THAT FALLING FEELING THAT YOU'VE GOT!" Yoshi yelled.
At the bottom…"And to your left you see a hideous pink komodo dragon." A kindergarten teacher said.
"I have Birdophobia!" said Lakwateekwakeemanoiesha called from the back.
"Why won't that bitch just graduate? I've had her for thirty-five years!" Ms. Kindergarten Teacher thought.
"Then don't touch it!" Ms. Kindergarten Teacher said. "Now don't touch the water it's poisonous!"
"AHHHHHHHHH!" Luigi yelled as he landed in the water splashing all over the class, killing them in a pleasant way.
Yoshi walked down the cliff and pushed Birdo in for no reason.
"Life is good!" Yoshi said as he walked towards the beach with a shotgun
Ice Tribe
Day 14
The tribe dropped all their stuff and headed to the fire. It's the hotspot on both tribes.
"Anyone want to play Charlie's Angels?" Toad asked.
"NO!" Everyone but Mario, Peach, and Daisy yelled.
"Sure!" They said.
"Okay I'll be Charlie!" Mario said.
"I'm Lucy Liu then!" Peach yelled.
"No way!" Daisy said. "I get Lucy Liu! I dyed my hair black just to play her!"
"Well to goddamn bad!" Peach said.
"NO! I'm Playing Lucy Liu and that's final!" Daisy said.
"Seems like you want to fight, Bitch!" Peach glowered.
"Bring it!" Daisy Retorted.
The two jumped at each other and dust clouds formed around them.
"How the hell does everyone do that? I always try when I fight but I can never get the damn thing to work." Mario sighed.
"Was it normal fight or a boss battle?" Toad asked.
"I think it was normal… or maybe it was a boss… maybe it could be normal… it might possibly be a boss…" Mario went on with this.
"Hey!" Toad yelled at Peach and Daisy. "STOP!"
The two stop halfway through a punch and dust cleared.
"Great! That makes me wonder even more!" Mario sighed.
"I think we all know who would be a better Lucy Liu!" Toad said.
Ten Minutes Later…Toad walked out of the bushes with a black wig, makeup, a stuffed bra, a tube top, a mini skirt, and high heels on.
"Why do we have to be Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz?" Daisy asked.
"Because, You both have no talent! Now take my lead!" Toad said.
Peach punched him in the face. "Burn in hell, you prick!"
Daisy kicked him in the gut. "Go play with your friends wearing assless jeans."
"Owie!" Toad said and couched up some blood… I mean cranberry sauce… yeah cranberry sauce.
Fire Tribe
Day 15
Yoshi and King Boo walked along the shore and grabbed and small fish or crustaceans.
"I wonder what's going to happen today?" Yoshi asked.
"I don't know but I just hope we can Junior out!" King Boo said.
"Why Junior?" Yoshi asked as he grabbed a fish that looked like Lindsey Lohan.
"Luigi told me that he tried to vote Mario off." King Boo said.
"So… eventually Mario might be voted off." Yoshi said.
"Yeah but he still is and evil mastermind." King Boo said.
"I wonder where he gets it?" Yoshi said as he saw Bowser running around with the Hawaiian Sling in his eye.
"THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT!" Luigi and Dixie yelled and chased after him.
"Must be repressive…" Yoshi sighed.
9:30 AM…
"Guys!" Birdo called as she looked out on the horizon.
"What?" Luigi asked.
"Look!" Birdo pointed.
A ship came closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and well you get the damn point!
"WTF!" Everyone said as Toadlin stepped off the boat with a Christmas Sweater on.
"Hello, and Merry Christmas!" Toadlin said.
"WHAT?" Everyone asked.
"How is it Christmas?" Dixie asked.
"TIME GOES BY FASTER THAN IT USED TO! TIMES HAVE CHANGED!" Toadlin yelled and threw her sweater at her.
"Honey! Put that back on! You'll get a cold!" Toadkin yelled from the boat.
"Dammit!" Toadlin cursed and put her sweater of a kitten in front of a Christmas tree back on.
Everyone stared.
"…"
Toadlin flipped them off.
" You!" (Have you no shame Toadlin!)
"I like your sweater." Junior said.
"Thanks…" Toadlin said faster.
"So why else are you here?" King Boo asked.
"Me and Todax are supposed to take the tribes to the Immunity Challenge. Direct orders from Dil!" Toadlin said.
"BOAT RIDE!" Birdo yelled. "High five!"
Everyone stood still.
"Dixie, High five!" Birdo yelled.
Dixie stared at her.
"Someone, High Five!" Birdo persisted.
Everyone stared more. Luigi threw up.
"Don't leave me hanging!" Birdo frowned.
Birdo blinked and everyone disappeared.
"Sayonara!" Yoshi yelled as the boat arrived at the horizon.
"Aw…" Birdo sighed.
Immunity Challenge:
The Christmas Olympics
"Here comes the torch carrier!" Dil said from the announcing box thing.
Toadzon ran into the stadium with a torch in hand.
"What a beautiful torch!" Lucy Liu said from the announcing box thing.
"Amen to that." Dil said in the announcing box thing.
Toadzon continued running, then jogging, then walking, then limping, and then crawling.
"Oh forget this!" Dil said from the announcing box thing. "Let the tribes in!"
The Fire and Ice tribes walked in with Toadlin leading the Fire tribe and Todax leading the Ice tribe.
"Hello and welcome to the Christmas Olympics!" Dil called from the box (I am going to call it that because I do not want to type announcing box thing every time!)
"You will all be competing in different events." Lucy Liu told them.
"For this Challenge… I've got good news and bad news. The good news is, the winning tribe will get presents sent to them by their families and a great Christmas dinner. The bad news is, Win or Lose, Both tribes are going to tribal council and voting someone out!" Dil announced.
"Oh my gosh!" Peach gasped. "Silly Rabbit Tricks are for Kids!
Peach ran over and shot the rabbit with a pistol she found in Petey's back pocket
Everyone just stared.
"Okay, Lets get started with the first event!' Lucy Liu said.
First Event: Advent Calendar
"For this event, you will need two people. You'll start off with a book with scraps of wrapping paper. You must run out to the tree and find the present with that wrapping paper. Bring it back then the other person will go. Once you have all twenty-five presents, open them and find the torch. Bring it to Toadlin and you will get a point." Dil explained in one breath. "Now who's playing?"
"Me and Petey!" Mario called.
"Dixie and Junior!" Yoshi said.
"Okay everyone get in position." Dil said.
"GO!" Lucy Liu yelled.
Dixie and Mario looked into the book and ran out to grab one. Mario made it back first and Petey ran out after studying the wrapping paper. Dixie came back and set the present down. Junior ran out and grabbed his present. Petey looked around the tree but he couldn't find his. Junior put his present down and Dixie ran out.
Five minutes later…Ice: 15 Fire: 17
"Dammit! They're beating us those sons of a Bitches!" Petey yelled.
"Petey, stop cursing! We're going to be on TV!" Mario said as he came back with his present.
Dixie came back with another and Junior dashed out and grabbed another before Petey got back. Dixie ran out as Petey came back. Once she grabbed her present, Mario dashed out. Dixie came back with twenty and Junior dashed out and grabbed another before Mario even got to his presents.
"Wow…" Mario said and tripped over his own foot.
Mario stumbled and fell so Dixie and Junior just got the four left and started opening. Dixie opened a long package and grabbed the torch inside.
"Go!" Dixie said and tossed it to Junior.
Junior ran over and gave the torch to Toadlin.
"Fire Tribe Wins Round One!" Dil yelled.
Second Event: Santa's Helper
"Okay for this event you're going to be Santa's helper. When a kid comes to Santa and asks for a present you have to run to a store and buy that present for them. First person to 3 presents wins. Now pick a person, and you can't go if you went last round!" Dil said in one breath again.
"I'm going!" Peach yelled and stepped forward.
"Me too!" King Boo said and appeared in front of the Fire Tribe.
"Okay, get in the costume!" Lucy Liu said and gestured to a bathroom.
The two walked in and King Boo came on out with a Santa Hat on and Elf Ears.
"THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL!" Peach yelled.
Then Dil made lighting strike her.
"Yeah I forgot you could do that…but still, NO!" Peach coughed.
Dil made the bathroom catch on Fire.
And then… He put it out!
"ZOMG!" Yoshi gasped. Luigi had a heart attack. Bowser Got a Tummy ache and had to go to the nurse. Toadzon keeled over from running so long.
Peach came out of the bathroom with a bikini, Santa hat, and Elf ears on.
Mario, Luigi, Bowser, Yoshi, Junior, Diddy, Toad, Dil, Todax, Santa, Mall Guy #1, Mall Guy #2, Mall Girl #1, and The Banana on the 'It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time' thing all stared at Peach.
Daisy ran over and Grabbed Mario and Luigi by the ears. Dixie grabbed Diddy and Bowser. Toadette grabbed Toad and Junior. Lucy Liu grabbed Dil (;.;). Toadlin grabbed Todax. Mrs. Claus grabbed Santa. The Banana shot Mall Guy #1 and 2 and Mall Girl #1. Birdo grabbed Yoshi's ear.
"I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!" Yoshi cried.
"Ok… just start the Event!" Dil said.
A little girl with a nametag saying 'Hello My Name Is Sally' walked up to Santa. She hopped up and sat on Santa's lap.
"I want a dolly for Christmas!" Sally said.
"Well, hey, you little bitch, you don't everything you want so burn in hell you little shit!" Peach snarled.
"Boo Hoo Hoo!" Sally cried as she ran away.
"Um… Not a great start!" Santa said.
King Boo suddenly appeared. "Where'd that girl go? I got her that dolly she wanted."
Then Sally tackled the Boo and gave him kisses.
"Stop it your like some retarded dog when you act like this." King Boo said and gave her the dolly.
"Yeah… I'm going to have to give him the point…" Santa winced.
Peach just glowered as a ten-year-old boy hopped up on Santa's lap.
"I want a Match Box Set!" The ten year old said.
The two ran off in different direction then met back.
"Here you go!" They both said and handed him a gift.
King Boo had the Match Box Cars.
Peach bought a box of matches.
"Matches just what I wanted!" The Ten year old said.
"King Boo… Why did you get him cars?" Santa asked.
"How could you not know that he meant matches?" Peach asked.
"Shut up you bleach blonde, you!" King Boo said and pointed at her.
A teenaged boy hopped up on Santa's lap.
"I WANT A PS3!" He yelled.
The two ran off to the electronic store. King Boo went in and grabbed one off the self and ran out of the store. The beeping things went off and the cops suddenly appeared around him.
"Look! A woman smoking!" King Boo pointed to Peach with a sucker in her mouth.
"MA'AM!" All the cops yelled and beat Peach with their batons.
King Boo ran back and gave the kid the PS3.
"YEAH!" He yelled and ran off.
"Good Job…" Santa said.
"YOU… BASTARD!" Peach yelled at King Boo.
Then a small fragile woman jumped up and broke her ankle.
"OW!" She cried. "I want breast implants!"
King Boo ran to the surgeon's office on the third floor. Peach ran the other way.
"Omigosh!" A lady with breast implants squealed. "It's Princess Peach!"
Peach ran over and the lady stuck her hand out to shake Peach's but Peach just grabbed her breast implants and ran.
"There you go!" Peach said and chucked them at the lady.
The Sad thing is… The breast implant were still in the lady and so she threw the lady at Santa and the other woman.
"Oops!" Peach said.
Then suddenly, Santa blew up and everyone died…
"Yeah…" Dil said as everyone important came back to life. "Since you killed Santa… I'm going to give King Boo the point…"
"Damn…" Peach sighed.
Event Three: Mistletoe Dodging
"Okay for this event, you will have to pick two people to dodge mistletoe. One Male and One Female." Lucy Liu said.
"King Boo and Dix-" Yoshi was cut off.
"You can't go if you've already gone." Dil announced.
Yoshi looked at Luigi, and Luigi turned to Birdo at the back of the tribe.
"Oh-" Luigi said while Birdo Tooted her nose horn thing. "-Me…"
Toad and Toadette stepped forward for the ice tribe. King Boo pushed Birdo forward into Luigi.
Snickering and laughter came from the box as the two laughed at Luigi's unfortunate disaster.
"Okay… what's going to happen is the mistletoe will move around. If you get caught under it you must kiss and the other team gains a point. First team to get two wins." Dil explained.
"GO!" Lucy Liu yelled randomly.
Toad and Toadette were fast and dodged the mistletoe but Birdo was chubby and slow.
"THE ICE TRIBE WINS ROUND THREE!" Lucy Liu yelled.
"That was fast…" Yoshi said to Luigi, whose face was sucked off completely.
Event Four: Ornament Breaking
"Okay for this one, you're going to smash-" Dil was cut off.
"Me!" Yoshi and Daisy said and stepped forward.
"You don't even know what it is!" Lucy Liu yelled.
"Yeah but you said smash!" Daisy said.
"We love to smash!" Yoshi said.
"Okay… You're going to smash ornaments with baseball bats. First person to break three cases of ornaments, wins." Dil explained.
"Go!" Lucy Liu yelled.
The two ran up and started in on the ornaments. Daisy tossed hers up and smashed it. Yoshi tossed it up and swung. He missed and just smashed it on the ground.
"Two different approaches, I wonder who will do better, kupo?" Dil asked then gasped and covered his mouth.
Daisy's eyebrows rose as she tore open her second pack. Yoshi finished off his first one.
"What an amazing race, eh Moglid?" Lucy Liu asked.
Dil grumbled.
"I mean Dil…" She sweat dropped.
"WTF?" Daisy said to herself "kupo, Moglid, What's going on?"
Daisy decided to grab two ornaments and chuck them at the only thing holding the box up… a makeshift rope made out of bendy straws and paper clips. The ornaments hit right at a weak point and the box fell down and exploded. Lucy Liu went flying away.
"NO! MY CONTRACT HASN'T EXPIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRED!" She yelled as she disappeared on the horizon.
Everyone paused for a moment. Peach had a seizure. Everybody ignored her and looked at a piece of scrap metal stirring.
The metal flipped over and a white cat-like animal arose.
"Dammit…" The white animal said.
"Are you… Dil?" Daisy asked while Yoshi opened his last package.
"Yeah…" Dil sighed.
"What are you?" Mario asked.
"I am a Moogle, sad, yes." Dil said with a sniffle.
"Huh?" Everyone said. (Dil: SHUT UP!)
"Oh forget it!" Dil sighed.
Mario threw an empty shampoo bottle at Dil. Dil sighed and used his "Authey Powers" to make him make out with Birdo.
"Now you know how I feel…" Luigi somehow managed to say.
"Hey!" Yoshi yelled.
Everyone turned around and looked at the green dinosaur.
"Done!" Yoshi said as he smashed his last bulb.
"Umm… well since I never told you guys to stop… Technically, Yoshi wins." Dil said.
The Fire Tribe all jumped up and down, but they excluded Birdo, in joy.
Then suddenly, Toadlin burst through the Fire Tribe's celebration.
"Why the hell haven't I got any lines since page Seventeen?" Toadlin demanded. "If I don't get more lines… I'll… I'll… I'll trim your hedges!"
"GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone Gasped.
"Good, they need them!" (Seriously) Dil said. "I'll get you more… gosh…"
"Sorry I had to storm in here all mad and stuff." Toadlin apologized.
"Yeah… well apology excepted." Dil said. "I think that the fact you did that made it funny."
"Yes!"
"I agree!"
"Funny indeed!"
"That raised the humor level, significantly."
"I think we can all agree that you helped." Dil said.
"Cool… I made a difference!" Toadlin said.
Suddenly the scene changed to the top a building.
"I made a difference!" A punk koopa said.
…And a subway
"I made a difference!" A Toad mother said.
…And a dairy farm
"I made a difference!" A Swedish Goomba said.
…And a graveyard
"I made a difference!" A gothic Shy Guy said.
…And a morgue
"I made a difference!" A Boo mortician said.
"Well, I didn't! I'm Dead!" A Hammer Bros. said from under the sheet.
Then it came back to Toadlin.
"We all made a difference. Now it's your turn. Get checked for AIDS." Toadlin said.
"I swear, these commercials are getting stupider by the day!" Dil said. "Anyway… Since they got four wins, The Fire Tribe-"
"LET THE GAMES BEGIN!" Toadzon yelled as he lit the big torch thingy.
"Um… Toadzon… We just finished." Dil said.
Toadzon Stared.
"…"
Everyone Stared.
"…"
Toadzon Stared.
"…"
Everyone Stared.
"…"
Toadzon Stared.
"…"
"You're an idiot!" They all yelled as Toadzon fell down the stairs and broke his foot, ankle, kneecap, pelvis, ribs, fingers, arms, elbows, shoulder, spine, tailbone, neck, earlobe, and nose.
"Ow…" He groaned.
"Anyway… the Fire Tribe wins. Now, You've got three decisions to make!" Dil informed them.
"The Presents and the Dinner. You don't get to keep both of them and the Ice tribe gets one. Which one do you want to give up?" Toadlin asked them.
The tribe huddled in and King Boo yelled out "We'll take the Presents."
"Okay, A boat is waiting for you at the beach. Now, Ice tribe, you will get a dinner. A boat is waiting for you too. But we still have another decision to make." Dil said.
"Who is going to Exile Island?" Toadlin asked. (Dil: I had to include it!)
"Exile Island is a place where one person is separated from everyone else, but instead of one person there will be two today." Dil said.
"Ice Tribe, who's going from the Fire Tribe?" Toadlin asked.
"Umm… We'll give them a break and send Birdo." Mario said.
"Fire Tribe, who's going from the Ice Tribe?" Dil asked.
"Umm… Thanks for the break but we're sending Mario." Luigi said.
"Mario, Birdo, head back that way and a boat will pick you up. You will be back in time for the next challenge." Dil told them.
Mario grunted and walked down the beach, following Birdo.
"Okay now go on to the boats!" Dil said as the two tribes ran off.
The tribes jumped in their boats and the boats headed off in the direction of their luxury.
Ice Tribe-Reward
The boat arrived at an island that had a cabin on the beach. The tribe jumped off the boat and ran to the cabin.
Peach and Toadette ran to the door. Peach flung it open and hit Toadette.
Inside the cabin, the aroma of a Christmas dinner passed through each Ice Tribe member's nostrils. They all ran in the cabin.
"I call dibs on the Turkey leg!" Peach yelled.
"I get more mashed potatoes!" Petey yelled.
"I get the Ranch for my salad!" Daisy called.
"I call the stuffing!" Diddy said.
"I'll take the Ham!" Toadette grabbed the whole ham.
Ten minutes later…
The Table was empty. Everyone sighed.
"TOADETTE! What's 2x4?" Toad yelled.
"Eight, duh!" Toadette said.
"WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!" Toad yelled. "It's .5!"
"That's 2 divided by 4, genus!" Toadette said.
Toad gasped. "I will not lick butter off the table!" Toad said and ran out. Diddy ran after him.
Toadette looked back at Peach, Daisy, and Petey. They all nodded. Toadette smiled.
Fire Tribe- Reward
A different boat stopped at another island.
The Fire Tribe hopped off the boat and looked around.
"Our Families gave us an Island?" Junior asked.
Everyone Stared.
"…"
Junior Stared.
"…"
Everyone Stared.
"…"
Junior slapped them to get out of a Loop.
"Thank You…" They all said then slapped Junior.
"What the Hell was that for?" Junior asked.
"You go pimp hand practice so we want some to!" Yoshi said.
"Consider it our gift to you!" Dixie said.
"Oh shut up!" Junior said and stomped off.
"What's his problem?" Dixie asked.
"Oh, he just needs time to 'relax'" Yoshi said winking.
"Huh?" Dixie asked, puzzled.
Yoshi bent down and whispered something in Dixie's ears.
"He's going to visit some guy named Master Bait. He's going to learn how to fish!" Dixie gasped.
"Sure, let's go with that…" Yoshi said.
Tribal Council #5
The Ice Tribe walked in. One by one they walked in and they all sat down.
"Welcome to Tribal Council." Dil said nonchalantly.
"Why are you so nonchalant?" Toadlin asked. "You have to strict and uptight!"
"Oh shut it 'Miss I'm missing my manicure'" Dil said in a British accent for no reason.
"OH SNAP! I KNEW I WAS MISSING SOMETHING!" Toadlin said and ran off.
"Okay well I guess y'all can go vote." Dil said.
"Aren't you going to ask us any questions?" Peach asked.
"Huh?" Dil asked.
"Aren't you going to ask us any questions?" Peach repeated.
"What?" Dil asked.
"Aren't you going to ask us any questions?" Peach repeated again.
"Come again!" Dil said.
"Aren't you going to ask us any questions?" Peach grumbled.
"Say what?" Dil said again.
"AREN'T YOU GOING TO ASK US ANY QUESTIONS?" Peach yelled and asked at the same time.
"No." Dil said "Now on to questions."
Peach sighed then jumped into the fire.
"Ok, if you could kill one person, who would it be?" Dil asked.
Everyone started to say something but Dil cut them off. "It can't be me."
Then, they all started to say something again. "Or Toadlin!" Dil said.
"Umm…" Everyone ummed.
"Hilary Duff…" Daisy said.
"The President!" Petey yelled.
"The Princess of The Mushroom Kingdom!" Toad yelled.
"That's me, Toad." Peach said.
"Well I still want to kill her!" Toad frowned.
"I'll take Toad." Peach said.
"Me too." Toadette said.
"The Emperor of Belgium!' Diddy yelled.
"There isn't one…" Peach sighed.
"Or is there?" Diddy asked.
"THERE ISN'T!" Everyone yelled at him.
"Oh…" Diddy cried.
"That's it, Go vote!" Dil said. "Toad you're up first."
Toad got up and voted. Daisy and Diddy followed.
"Peach, You're a Poopie Face!" Diddy said putting his vote in the jar.
Petey, Peach, and Toadette voted.
"I'll go tally the votes." Dil said.
Everyone waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and Peach turned to ashes, and waited, and waited.
"I'm BACK!" Dil said.
Diddy shot Dil with a blow dart. Dil collapsed.
Everyone Stared
"…"
Dil… umm… he… laid there…
"…"
People reading killed Dil for using this joke too much.
"AHHH!"
Dil sighed and told them,
"I'm never going to stop!"
The People reading bombarded Dil
-Scene Deleted for Bad Content-
"YEAH!' Dil said as he stood atop of all the people trying to kill. "You're dirt to me!" (Dil: Not Really! I love all you… I mean… Like all you… let's just move on!)
"First vote, Peach!" Dil read.
Dun-Dun-Duuuuuuuuuun!
"Second vote, Toad!" Dil read again
Toad's eyes shifted from left to right. Then from up to perpendicular.
"Third vote is... Toad." Dil said nonchalantly.
"YOU'RE NOT COOL!" Everyone yelled.
"Aw..." Dil sighed. "Peach, you got the next vote."
"Son of a-" Peach started to say.
"Next Vote, Toad." Dil said quickly.
"Moo..." Toad sighed.
"The Fifth person to be voted off Survivor: Mario Style is, Toad." Dil said.
"WAH!" Toad yelled.
"Bring Me Your Torch." Dil said.
"No!"
"Bring Me Your Torch." Dil repeated.
"Uh-uh!"
"Bring Me Your Torch!" Dil ordered him.
"I don't wanna!" Toad cried.
Dil walked over and hit Toad.
"See what you made me do!" Dil said then snuffed his torch.
"Huzzah!" The Ice Tribe cheered.
Dil pushed a button and Toad fell through a hole.
Toad
Lasted: 15 Days
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Toad yelled as he fell through the hole.
Exile Island
Day 15
Mario sighed as he walked along the beach. "…"
Birdo went over to a rock in the middle of the island and sat down. Then it noticed something.
"MARIO!" Birdo yelled.
Mario came back and killed her. "What the hell do you want?"
"Do you see that?" Birdo asked and pointed.
Mario looked where Birdo was pointed and saw a bag hanging from a low tree.
"Yeah, I do…" Mario said and walked towards it.
When they got to the tree they pulled down the bag. When they opened it they found many helpful tools like a machete and flint. But they also found a compass and a Book.
"Hmm…" Mario said as he opened the book.
The book had a small note on the first page.
"This book is a collection of clues that will help you find an Immunity Idol that is good up to the Final Four." Mario read aloud. "First Clue: It is not south of the big rock."
"Oh that's specific." Birdo sighed.
"Well at least it gives us something to do." Mario said and commenced the search.
Tribal Council #6
"Ok, Ice Tribe I'm going to have to ask you to leave since the Fire Tribe is coming." Dil said.
The Ice Tribe got their torches and left.
"What'd I miss?" Toadlin said walking back.
Dil slapped her then turned to see Junior skipping in happily.
"Gee Willikers, That Fishing guy must be really nice…" Dixie said as she put her torch in the slot.
Yoshi, Luigi, and King Boo all laughed.
"I'm not even going to ask…" Dil and Toadlin said slowly.
"…" Everyone sat down quietly.
"Just go vote, I don't want to talk to you people!" Dil said.
"Dixie, you're first." Toadlin said.
Dixie got up and voted. Yoshi, Luigi, Junior, King Boo, and Bowser all voted.
"Yoshi said I can't spell my name but I can to!" Bowser said holding up his vote that had his name on it but with a backwards O, W, and R.
"Ye shall tally ye votes!" Dil said.
Everyone looked around at whom he was talking to.
"…"
"Go!" Dil yelled at Toadlin.
"Oh!" Toadlin said and got the votes.
"Once the votes are read, the decision is final. You better leave or I'll have to kick some bootay!" Dil said.
Then, Toadlin whispered something into Dil's ear.
"What!" Dil said and opened the jar and looked at the votes. "Well apparently Bowser got six votes… some how."
"DOES THAT MEAN I WON?" Bowser yelled in anticipation.
"Yeah… it does… Just bring me your Torch and play along." Toadlin smiled.
"Yay!" Bowser said and carried his torch over to Dil.
"Bowser, The Tribe Has Spoken." Dil said really fast and put out his torch.
"…" Bowser said. "What now?"
"Run that way and don't stop!" Everyone yelled.
"Whee!" Bowser chanted as he ran.
"Sucker…" Dil smiled.
Bowser
Lasted: 15 Days
"Whee!" Bowser said as he ran by the screen
Dil: Finally! Completed!
Peach: Bout time…
Daisy: Cha…
Yoshi: Why must we always agree with each other?
Peach: Because Everyone Hates you.
Yoshi: Nu-uh!
Dillon: I second that Nu-uh.
Daisy: This is a scene seen everyday. Please Donate to me so I can get Yoshi's, Dil's, and Peach's, Vocal cords removed.
Dil: No!
Peach: Yeah!
Daisy: OH SHUT UP!
Dil: Okay, Here's a message to Luigi Rules 512. Ahem… You now what… no! When I make fun of Bowser no one cares, but I make fun of Luigi ALL HELL BRAKES LOOSE! From no on, Luigi will be removed from the top and bottom parts until I can get a reasonable explanation on why I should not make fun of him. I don't want any opinions and I want to know why it's not bad to make fun of anyone else. Trust me, I've made fun of almost all the characters in my story.
Yoshi: Wow! Long Speech, Dil's Pissed.
Dil: Well, I'm not going to sit back and get yelled at because I did the same thing I did to everyone else. If you support me please tell me because I don't want to be the only who thinks Luigi should be treated specially.
Peach: Um… Read-
Daisy: Donate-
Dil: Support-
Peach: and Review
Yoshi: See ya!