Standing before him now, as he's leaving – for the last time this time – I just feel so tired. I feel like I've been all used up, and all that's left at my center is the tiny, basic me, and she's so tired.

I shrug and hold out my hands, a small gesture of defeat. Even that small gesture takes an effort on my part, and the words I say next take even more.

"I would've done anything for you."

But, as always, it means nothing to him. I mean nothing to him, and I know I never will. When his brother is dead, and he can return to life, still, I am a nothing. He walks past me without responding, as though he can't even see me. If he walked into me now, I wouldn't be surprised if he just passed right through me.

He's gone.

Tears run down my cheeks, and I know I should stop, but it's just too hard. I have to get home, I know, I have to make a report, I know, but I just want to stand here a little longer.

My legs give out and I fall heavily onto my knees. A cloud of dust rises up around me. We've been experiencing a dry spell; the crops have dried up. It's bad for crime – more work for us.

There's so much work to be done.

I'm still sitting in the dust. I don't know if I can stand anymore. My tears are forming a small puddle of mud on the ground, and I wish something would grow. Something inside of me maybe.

I look up when I hear voices. No one I recognize, but they recognize me. Strong arms lift me and start carrying me away; my eyes drift shut as we go and I can't find the energy to open them anymore. I feel so heavy I wonder how anyone could carry me.

How can I continue carrying my own weight?

When I wake up I'm in the hospital. It's nothing new, only I'm not used to being the one on the bed. I sit up, and as there's no one around, I get out of my bed. I feel a little head rush when I stand, but other than that I feel fine.

Well, as fine as one can feel when they're alone in the world, and they just lost the people they were protecting.

I walk down the halls, passing no one on my way out. It's strange, but I don't think much of it. I'm too busy worrying about what I will say in my report.

I walk out of the hospital into the desert, and I realize that I'm in a dream. The sun glares down at me, and I can feel my skin burning, even in a dream. I turn around to go back into the hospital, but the hospital is gone; the desert stretches out all around me.

I start to walk.

It isn't long before a wind starts blowing. Grains of sand fly against my skin, stinging my exposed skin, but I hardly notice. It's only a dream. When I wake up, then my nightmare will begin again.

As I walk I notice how my heart feels lighter with each step I take. My soles are burning, so I start to run. I can run faster than I've ever run before, without any effort. I'm running so fast that as I come to the top of a dune I run off it into open air, and I don't come down.

I'm running on the wind.

I wake up in a hospital bed. When I look over there's a man in the bed next to me, and a nurse checking his drip.

"What day is it?" I ask. My voice croaks like a toad.

"August 15th." The nurse replies. She doesn't look up until she finishes what she is doing, and by then I am already gone.

August 15th. I've been away too long. I left almost a month ago with my team, and now I'm back empty handed. I've failed my country.

Before I do anything I return to my house to get dressed properly. I still believe in dressing appropriately for the occasion. I doubt the Hokage would appreciate me turning up in a backless hospital robe to tell him he's lost two valuable ninja's but is still stuck with me, a medic who couldn't even save the lives of her own team.

As I remember the events of last night, I realize how funny it is. Sasuke leaving me. He wasn't leaving me exactly, none of them were, but still, he was around and that was enough.

Ino was the first to leave. She was sent out actually, to work in the country of earth, and she is still there. She's probably fallen in love there, as I figure it. The others have all been sent away as well. Some on diplomatic missions that last for years, some on missions they never returned from, and some just don't return to me anymore.

Naruto is one of the ones who never returned, but I'm certain he still lives. I'm still here working, just waiting for the day he turns up to claim his place as Hokage.

I feel like I'm always waiting.

I waited so long for Sasuke to realize how much he loved me, and he never even noticed. He never even cared, but he still stayed with me longer than all the others. Long enough for me to think I had some power over him, some small influence on his thinking. But I was wrong, and now I am alone.

Alone in a room with a group of elder jonin, reporting my failure to them.

It wasn't a complete failure I suppose. We were sent out with very few instructions; told only that we needed to protect the people from themselves. And we did, for a time. We stopped the bad guys and did our best to help the good guys. For my part, I tried to heal the hurt caused by this drought. There have been other teams sent out to find some way to bring water back to Konoha, but so far there has been little progress. Rival countries have taken advantage of the drought and come hunting us down now in numbers we can hardly keep back.

It was such a hunting party that brought an end to our mission. We were ambushed near a small farming community. We had just gotten rid of the thieves who had tried to break into the farmhouse stores and were on our way to the next place when they attacked. There were three of them, like us, but they had the advantage of being three killers. I shouldn't have lived. I know; that's what everyone will say about me now. They'll question my having lived when the other two died. They'll think I ran away. I didn't.

I tell the elders everything, from the beginning. How many thieves taken into custody, how many enemy nin we met during our time outside the city. We did meet others, and we took care of all of them, but it only takes one group and everything we accomplished feels like nothing. We none of us die in vain, I tell myself, but I feel like my life is in vain.

I tell the elders when we were attacked, by how many and from what country. In fact, I don't know what country they came from, as their headbands had no markings on them. I tell the elders this, and I tell them how the others in my team died, and how I died soon after.

I was dead you see. So when everyone is saying that I ran away, and that's how I escaped with my life – they're wrong. I died in the fight with my comrades. But I came back to life, and they did not.

I can see that they don't really believe me. I know it's hard to believe, but I really was dead. I did not play dead and wait for the enemy to leave; I am not speaking figuratively. My heart stopped beating. There was nothing for such a long time, and then I woke up, and I was alive again. The enemy was gone, and I was in so much pain, and so tired. But I picked myself up and carried the bodies of my team to the nearest village where they were cremated the next morning. I returned to the city with two urns in my bag; I faced Sasuke for one last time with the ashes of my dead cell in my bag.

But I don't tell the elders about that. I only tell them that I have returned with the remains of my comrades, and they nod. They tell me to take a few days to recover before returning to them. They say, "Go home Sakura." but I don't know where that is.