Shion and Allen both slept in the following morning. Shion's connect gear buzzed numerous times, but the pair was so deeply asleep that neither noticed. A wrecking- ball could have torn the walls down around them and they would not have even stirred.
A little before noon Jin knocked on their door with the handle of his sword. After he had called and no one answered, he had decided to come talk to him or her in person. A woman walked by carrying so many paper grocery bags that even when stacked on top of each other they still reached above her head. Jin gave up on knocking and offered to aid the passer bier. All she saw through the cracks in her wall of bags was the glint of the blade of Jin's sword. She shrieked as if Jin was a ghost. A man rushed out of the apartment across the hall. He had cranberry sauce smeared on his face and gravy dripping down his apron.
"Help! I'm being mugged!" The woman cried out when she heard the door open. The man flung his spatula at Jin's eyes. Jin decided against blocking the projectile with his sword. It would not be safe to swing a sword with two civilians so close. Instead, he bent backwards and let the spatula soar over him. It crashed into the pasta turkey decoration that hung on Shion's door. Upon impact, the decoration shattered. Jin fell on his behind unable to keep his balance. The sharp pasta fragments stabbed Jin. The woman kicked her fallen mugger in the shins before tottering off towards her apartment. Her top bag slipped off and exploded on the floor. Unfortunately, that was the bag with the eggs and the jar of pickles. Clutching what was left of groceries she scurried into her apartment. She was not going to clean up that mess. The man snatched a cabbage from the midst of the mess and tracked pickle juice and egg yoke on the carpeting as he made his way back to his apartment. All of the doors on the floor except the one Jin leaned against opened and curious people poked their heads out with the hope of learning what caused the racket. They saw a man with a sword surrounded by a whole bunch of stained carpeting. A child emerged from the apartment directly to the left.
"I'll call the maintenance bots. Shion must be at it again."
Jin covered his eyes with his hand. "What scares me most is Shion had nothing to do with this. She's probably still fast asleep." The child's gaze turned from the mess to Jin.
"Who the hell are you?"
"That's the man who tried to mug me" Jin's victim pointed at him. Jin propped himself up with his sword.
"I'm Jin. Shion is my younger sister."
"Oh" A chorus of voices said and most of the people went back inside. The child's mother tapped Jin on the shoulder and handed him a key.
"We keep spares for Shion. She locks herself out almost on a daily basis."
"Thank you very much." He shook the woman's hand. He sincerely pitied her. Jin unlocked the door and entered the quiet apartment. He stepped over a few tipped chairs as he proceeded towards the bedroom. Jin was quite sure he was not interested in hearing how that had happened. He knocked as hard as he could on the bedroom door to be polite, but when no one responded, he let himself in. Shion and Allen were curdled up amidst a jumble of sheets and blanket. Jin yanked the sheet out from under them. Allen shifted trying to get comfortable again but did not wake up. Shion remained in the same position.
"Maybe she's dead and Allen is too depressed at loss of his one love to ever wake again." Jin thought aloud. This called for drastic measures. He rushed to the kitchen and turned the sink on as cold as it would go. Steam rose from the sink. Jin touched the stream of water. He sighed and turned the knob to hot. What did he except from Shion's sink? Jin filled the largest pitcher he could find in the cluttered cabinets and lugged it back to the bedroom. He dumped the water on his sister's head. He had actually fantasized about doing this for quiet some time.
"I won't go back into that pool. You cannot make me. I refuse unless you turn the heat up." Shion dove off the bed and slid under it. Jin sat down and bounced the bed hoping the fear of the mattress smashing her would scare Shion out.
"Earthquake!" Allen hollered. He rammed the door open and stood in the frame. Jin hid under the covers. He was now convinced they were both insane. He wondered if there was a net in the closet, he could carry them off in. He heard coughing from under the bed.
"I can't breath" The bed muffled the sound of Shion's choking. Convinced the quake was over; Allen left his post and fished Shion out.
"You alive?" Allen asked rubbing her back. When she saw her brother, Shion concealed herself behind Allen.
"He tried to kill me."
"You weren't moving. I thought you were dead."
"I was having the most wonderful dream. I was afraid even the slightest movement would ruin it."
"You can't decide you don't want to wake up even if you are having a good dream."
"I'm Shion; I can do whatever I want!"
"Even when I wake up I still have my most wonderful dream." Allen said. Shion tackled him. Jin rolled his eyes.
"Get a room you two."
"This is our room. You barged in on us." Shion pointed out.
"So what brings you here this early so urgently anyway?" Allen asked.
"It's not early. Kosy already started the meal a few hours ago. We'll be eating not long from now."
"What if I'm hungry now?" Shion moaned. Allen pulled her ear.
"Now you're just being annoying."
Insulted Shion stomped out of the room. "Why is everyone picking on me?"
In the kitchen, Shion hunted through the refrigerator for some lunch. She found the pies she had obtained the previous night. A layer of mold coated them. She placed one on the table and took a fork from the drawer. Allen walked into the kitchen drying his hair with a towel. When he saw Shion about to eat a chunk of rotten pie, he leaped at her and knocked the fork from her grasp.
"Shion! That will kill you. I'm actually surprised we haven't passed out from the smell alone." Allen flung the pie out the window.
"So it's okay for the birds to be poisoned?"
"Even a bird has a big enough brain to know not to eat anything that has an inch of blue and green fuzz on it."
"Not necessarily. Do you know how small a bird's brain is?" Shion formed her thumb and index finger into an o roughly the same size, as she believed a bird's brain to be. Allen raised an eyebrow. For some reason he doubted Shion knew what she was talking about.
"Since I've never seen actually seen a bird's brain, I'll have to take you word on that one."
"Did you just insinuate that I'm dumber than a bird?" Shion asked. Allen had hoped he would get away with that stab at her intellect.
"Birds are also tasty which is why you should go to Jin's and make sure they don't poison it."
"I almost forgot and here I was planning on organizing my stamp collection today."
"You don't have a stamp collection."
"Yeah I know. That was a less harsh way of saying I wasn't going to do anything."
Allen chuckled as he hunted for a clean mug. "Where are all the clean dishes?" He asked after not finding one.
Shion shrugged. "It was your turn to do the dishes."
"And I did. When I came to get a glass of water last night, there was a whole cabinet of clean cups."
"Then you were the last one to see them."
"Cups can not just disappear into thin air." Allen peeked behind the saltshaker.
"I hate to eat and run, but I most. Every minute Jin is in the kitchen…" Shion didn't finish her analogy. She could not think of anything horrendous enough to compare it too. As Shion packed her decorations and searched for her shoes under the sofa, Allen poured his coffee into an empty bowl.
"Now that's using your brain. Only a time-wasting fool would eat cereal and drink coffee from a different bowl. You save water thus you save the world."
Allen rubbed his neck. He failed see the connection between saving the world and substituting coffee for milk in your breakfast.
"Have you seen my other shoe?" Allen contemplated her question. He vaguely remembered seeing a shoe in one of the least expected places. On a hunch, he opened the microwave door. Shion plucked her shoe from the turntable. Allen gaped and Shion took the opportunity to shove her newly recovered shoe into his mouth. As soon as he realized what she had done, Allen spat the shoe out, but the taste of rubber and mud lingered in his mouth. She picked the shoe up and held it away from herself.
"Allen, why did you have to do that? Now the laces feel like overcooked spaghetti."
Allen slumped his shoulders. This was probably another one of those situations where it was best not to argue. Shion held her foot out.
"Tying it is the least you can do for me." Allen obeyed though he never imagined doing this. Shion pecked him on the cheek before heading out the door. Shion bounded down the stairs, her bag of goodies crashing down behind her.
The streets were remarkably empty. But then again it was Thanksgiving afternoon. Most families were settling in for their first round around this time. Shion took long strides, a determined grin plastered on her face. The distance between her apartment and her brother's home quickly vanished. There was no smoke pouring out the windows. That was a good sign.
In the kitchen, Kosy stood in front of the stove stirring the contents of various saucepans.
"Hey, Kosy!" Shion deposited her bags on the table and plopped onto a stool.
"Good afternoon, Shion. While I am very pleased to see you, my current mission requires my utmost attention. I can not afford to be distracted."
"What are you making?" Shion joined Kosy by the stove. "That came from a box, right"
"Your brother made the stuffing. As far as I know he does not work for any food packing company."
"You know Kosy; I'm not really a big fan of stuffing."
"That is too bad, Shion. I hope you enjoy vegetables. I personally cleaned and cut them all." Shion eyed the largest pan on the stove, which was filled to the brim with a mixture of carrots, green beans, broccoli, asparagus, cauliflower and some other stuff Shion couldn't identify without taking a closer look. Shion wondered what Kosy had used to make them glisten so much.
"Is there anything I can do?" Shion spun around on stool.
"Well, that pile of potatoes on the table is in dire need of mashing."
"Kosy, perhaps the exposure to all the heat has caused your systems to malfunction. That task requires the use of both blunt and sharp objects- neither of which I'd let Shion touch to save all our lives."
Shion paused. "Hope you guys don't mind skins because it looks like you don't have a peeler." She settled on a rubber sledgehammer, a whisk and a large wooden spoon and hurried to get smashing.
"It'll make her happy, Jin. Plus if she lets some of her energy out on those potatoes maybe we can have an uneventful meal."
Jin rolled his eyes at Kosy. "I used to think that too. I used to think many things. Then I met Shion."
"I know you're talking about me. My ears itch and itchy ears never lie!" Shion scooped up the potato paste and flung it into a bowl.
"Look there, you missed one." Jin dropped a discard chunk of potato within a centimeter of his sister's left hand. Shion dropped the hammer towards her target. Sadly, her aim was a tad bit off and she hit herself squarely on the fingertips. Shion sprang from her seat as if she just realized she was sitting on a cactus and clutched her right hand to her chest.
"That was so mean. My poor defenseless hand is now broken." Tears streamed down Shion's face flooding the room. Kosy rubbed Shion's hand and bent it back and forth.
"Shion, you hand does not seem to have sustained any damage."
"Your left hand is looking a little fat though." Jin poked Shion's other hand. She fainted from pain.
"Think we over did it, Kosy?" Jin dragged her out of the room by the foot. Kosy performed a full-system scan. If she was laughing this hard, something had to be wrong. A knocking came at the door, but instead of waiting to be greeted, the guest let himself or herself in.
"You guys should really lock your…" Allen walked into the room just in time to witness Jin dumping the unconscious Shion on the couch. When he realized someone was watching him, Jin covered the body with a blanket.
"I swear. It's not what it looks like."
Allen sniffed around. "Is something burning?" Jin slowly turned his head in the direction of the kitchen. Flames had completely consumed the stovetop.
"OH MY U-DO!" Jin and Allen rushed to the kitchen. They collided in the doorway. The meal they had worked so hard to prepare burned, but both men were too stuck to do anything.
"Kosy, fast get some water!" Jin tried to break free, but Allen's wiggling stopped him.
"My mother gave a nickel to go and buy a pickle…" Kosy sang.
"Interesting, so that is what's in her deepest subconscious domain." Allen looked around for a scrap of paper to take notes. While Allen was distracted, Jin pushed past him. Smoke was filling the room, sucking up all the clean air. Jin heaved open the window and breathed the fresh air. Allen pranced around the stove as if doing a rain dance to extinguish the flames. A popping noise from inside the oven declared the turkey was cooked.
"We better take the turkey out before we lose it to the flames too." Allen reasoned.
"We are all going to be done, if we don't do something really fast!" Jin attempted to quench the blaze with the sprayer from the sink. A few drops of water tricked out.
"Kosy, I thought you said you fixed this!"
"My memory bank does that recall ever saying that. Perhaps you have mistaken me for another."
"Can't you at least materialize a bucket of water?"
"I do not deem that course of action necessary at this particular moment."
"There's a fire. You pour water on it. That's common sense!" Allen shook his hands frantically. Kosy blinked. Jin leaned out the window so far that only his feet remained in the room.
"Don't bail now. What about the rest of us." Sweat poured down Allen's face.
"The heat created by this fire would not be enough to serious harm me. I would remain unscathed. I advise you to flee though. Staying in your current position would result in you resembling a slice of burnt toast."
"Grab my feet!"
Allen pulled Jin's foot, but he wasn't nearly strong enough to get him completely through. Kosy rummaged through the junk drawer until she found a length of string. She whirled it above her head and effortlessly lassoed Jin onto the floor. Jin clutched a rubber hose in his hand. Allen stole it and sprayed it in the general direction of the stove. Surprisingly it worked and the deluge finally put out the fire. Allen collapsed over Jin.
"Allen, that water just destroyed our meal." Kosy shifted through the charred stuffing and vegetables. "Now what do you propose we eat?"
"Give me that hose. It is time to resort to plan B." Jin confiscated the hose.
"Plan B?" Allen lifted his eyebrow as Jin crept into the living room.
"Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!" A shrill scream echoed through the home. Allen braced himself for the only thing more menacing than fire.
"That's twice today. Twice! Do I need to get a restraining order?"
"Shion…"
"Don't Shion me. You know, you only hurt yourself. I can change clothes, but your couch is going to get all moldy." Shion rang the excess water from a throw pillow. The front door opened once again and Juli, MOMO, Ziggy, chaos, and Jr. appeared- all of which were dressed for the occasion. Allen waved weakly.
"I hope the meal is ready. I'm really hungry." MOMO smiled.
"What was the hose for?" chaos asked. He held a large package under his arm- presumably filled with pies.
"We kind of had...a situation." Allen could find no words to properly illustrate what had just happened.
Jr. glared at Shion. "You better not have ruined all the food."
"I didn't do anything. Last thing I remember I was mashing potatoes. Then that wacko soaked me." Shion pointed at Jin. He let the hose slip from his grasp and hung his head.
"She's not lying. Shion in no way caused this. That's the second time today."
"I wish I had a recorder. You don't often hear those words." Allen said.
"I don't think I want to hang around you guys anymore. You don't respect me." Shion complained. Laughter erupted from the masses.
Sometime later, –after the burnt food and water was properly disposed of- the group sat down at the table, which Shion had decorated quite festively. Jin refused to light any candles.
"I told you all that Jin and Kosy couldn't cook and I was right. But of course no one ever listens to Shion."
Jin rubbed his temples. "I give up. You win. In a twisted way you were right." Vindicated Shion grinned.
"It's a good thing you were able to whip up these lasagnas so fast, Shion" MOMO praised.
"Be quiet. You are only fueling her." Shion slammed her foot on Allen's.
"Pass another one of those rolls over here." Jr. tossed a roll across the table to chaos. Shion leaned back in her chair and smirked.
"Aren't you hungry, Shion?" Allen asked- his mouth full of salad.
"I'm just reveling in this moment. It's not often I get this much appreciation."
"Of course we appreciate you. If we didn't, we would have let you go with…"
"La la la!" Jin cut off Allen. Kosy kicked Shion's chair out from under her. Shion fell flat on her face. Allen patted her on the head.