When the sun rises he turns off course. I tell him that's not the way, that my heart is telling me to keep going the other way. I feel ridiculous talking about my heart that way.

"We'll follow your heart later," he says, and I don't even think he's mocking me. "But right now we need water, so we'll go this way."

I shrug and follow him. This feeling better not go away anytime soon, or I will be lost. I follow for a while, until he stops in a spot that looks just like all the rest of the desert to me. He must know something I don't.

I watch while he concentrates, and a hole opens in the sand at our feet. He drops his canteen down the hole, and moments later a hand of sand brings it back up to him, full of water. He holds his hand out to me and I put my canteen in it, then he does the same for me.

When he hands me back my canteen it is cool and wet. The water tastes odd to me, but I guess I shouldn't have been expecting it to taste the same as the clear spring water I'm used to drinking.

"You should rest during the day." Gaara says.

I roll my eyes at him. "Thanks for the advice. I'm not an idiot you know. I know my limits."

"Ok." He says, and that's all. He sits down with his back to me, and says nothing more. I don't get this man sometimes. He gets to me so easily, but he's impossible to fight with because he never fights back. How can he take everything so calmly?

I flop down nearby and sit there, watching the horizon. I'm still wide awake; there's not much point in trying to sleep now. I would have suggested we just keep going, if it weren't for his little comment. Doing so now would just make me look stupid.

I peer covertly at Gaara, wondering if he really does think I'm stupid. I wouldn't blame him if he does; I've done plenty lately that would give him that impression. But despite all the stupid, petty things I've done, he has never given any indication that he thinks I'm dumb, or ever acted in a condescending way. I guess that's why he's a good Kazekage. He doesn't act better than anyone, not really, even though he is. Even if he doesn't really have much by way of diplomatic speech, or speech at all really, he makes a good leader. That's surprising, considering his past, and how he used to want to kill everybody.

"You can go to sleep you know." he says quietly, jolting me out of my thoughts. I wonder how long I've been sitting here thinking. "I'm not going to strangle you in your sleep or anything like that."

I'm not sure if he's joking. "I know that." I say. "I just can't sleep now. I'm not tired. And besides, then you'll be all alone."

"I'm used to that."

I bite my lip. How come he seems so sad sometimes? I just want to comfort him somehow, but it's so hard. And he doesn't ask for pity, for sympathy, he's just telling the truth.

"Do… Do you think Luo is somehow involved in this?"

Gaara finally turns to look at me. "What do you think?" he asks.

"I asked first," I say childishly, "You answer first."

"I'm not going to give you answers." He says. "You're asking me to tell you what to think, but I won't do that. So what do you think?"

I want to argue, but I know he's right. That's another thing he's got going for him; his ability to somehow see right through people. I circle my knees with my arms, pulling them up to my chest, becoming as small as possible. "I don't know what to think anymore. I want to believe in him, but…"

Gaara is silent for a long time. "Then that's what you should do." He says at last, his voice heavy. It almost sounds like he's sighing.

I lie back in the sand. It seems like sand should be so much more comfortable than it actually is. I sigh inwardly as I stare out towards the infinite horizon, stretching out forever, gold against the blue sky.

"You know, the desert is beautiful." I say. Gaara opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off as I continue my ramble. "Yes I know; it's dangerous too. And I used to fear it, when I first came here. I used to... yes, I hated it. It was my enemy back then. But since I've come to live here, I've been visiting the desert every morning. When Luo was hospitalized and I was kicked out of the hospital, when my cactus was stolen, and when Takeo was on trial, I came out here. At first I was just looking for some peace and quiet, but I've come to find comfort out here. I don't hate the desert anymore. I think I might even love it."

Gaara says nothing. And for once, I don't berate myself for babbling. Out here, that doesn't matter. I feel calm. So I just lay back and enjoy the heat of the sun shining on my face.

"Someone stole your cactus?" he asks finally. I sit up and stare at him, surprised. Of all the things he could have said, could have asked about, why would he ask me about that? He blinks at me for a while, then shakes his head and turns away again. "No, never mind."

I stare at the back of his head for a bit before talking again. "Yes, someone stole my cactus. You know; the one on my bed side table. Did you see it there, when you came to visit me in the middle of the night?"

He shrugs. "Yeah, that must be it."

I narrow my eyes at his back, feeling something like glee rising in my chest. "You put that cactus in my room, didn't you?"

He shakes his head. "Why would I do something like that?" He asks, not actually denying it.

I shrug, smiling widely, not that he can see. "Who knows? The heart is a mysterious thing." I lay back and smile at the sun. I hear Gaara grumbling something to himself, but I can't make out what it is he's saying. "What's that?" I ask loudly.

"What kind of person steals a cactus, of all things?" he asks, but I'm pretty sure that's not what he was saying before.

I shrug, as well as one can shrug while lying on their back. "I doubt it's worth the bother to try to figure it out."

"Didn't you like your cactus?" he asks, turning to me. "You listed it before Takeo even."

Did I? I guess I did. Well, that cactus kept me from being lonely while Luo was in the hospital, as best as it could. It was a good little cactus.

What the hell am I saying? It was a cactus.

"Is it too painful to talk about?" Gaara asks, and I realize I've been silent for a long while. I shake my head and I'm about to answer when I realize that he was joking.

"Hey… You do have a sense of humor!"

"When did I ever say I didn't?"

"I, uh…" I blush furiously at my rudeness and change the subject before I dig myself into any deeper of a hole. "Well, anyway I should get some rest. I have a feeling we're getting close to our destination," I lie, and turn over onto my side. "So we'll need to be prepared tomorrow."

But it is a long time before I can fall asleep.